Russell said nothing. He lifted an arm to scratch his head briefly, and then he lowered it again.

aLook,a Edie said, aI know how you feel. I know itas difficult. I know it isnat what you want. But I canat bear thinking about what Rosaas feeling, I canat bear her thinking sheas got nowhere to go. I just canat bear ita. She paused, and then she said, aI want to make it a bit easier for her. I want to make a move before she feels she has to. I want to tell her she can come homea.

Chapter Thirteen.

aOne seat in the back row, please,a Ruth said, aand as far to one side as possiblea.

The young man in the box office, who had clearly been surprised to find Ruth waiting when he opened up, said that there were better seats in the centre of the back, for the same price.

aI know,a Ruth said. She had put on a black canvas bucket hat and sunglasses, and thought, glancing unhappily in the mirror as she left the flat, that she looked like a Japanese tourist. aIam sure theyare better, but the side is where Iad like to sit, pleasea.

The young man sighed, and slid the ticket towards her. Behind him, on the back wall of the little foyer, was a blown-up grainy poster photograph of Edie and Lazlo, in profile, facing each other, and then, superimposed across their torsos, the shadowy faces of the other actors. Cheryl Smith had the looks and the air, Ruth thought, that made other women immediately feel unwomanly.

She picked up the ticket.

aThank youa"a The young man nodded. This was not the kind of theatre where the staff said banal, populist things like, aEnjoy the showa. Behind her, other people were beginning to open the glass doors from the street, other people who might at any moment include Edieas family, and therefore Matthew, and although Ruth was there in order to catch sight of Matthew, she was not at all certain that she could handle his catching sight of her. She bent her head so that wings of hair swung forward under the brim of her hat, and went quickly into the auditorium.

It was completely empty. Admittedly, the show wouldnat start for half an hour, but the emptiness made Ruth feel vulnerable. She crept round the back of the stalls and took her seat in the far corner. If Matthew came, he would come with his family, naturally, and they would also, naturally, have seats in the centre, towards the front, and Matthew would be preoccupied by being in company, and by his motheras big night, so it would not occur to him to look round the small auditorium and notice that, among the comfortably North London audience, there was a young woman masquerading a" badly a" as Yoko Ono, who was giving out elaborate signals of wishing strenuously not to be noticed. But if he did look round, and he did notice, there was then the miserable dilemma of how she would react to his reaction. If he didnat realise it was her, how would she feel? If he did realise, and chose to ignore her, how would she feel? If he did realise and didnat ignore her and did say something but not what she was longing to hear, how would she feel? The answer to all three questions was, of course, terrible.

It was no good, she thought, bending her head over the programme and staring unseeingly at Edieas theatrical CV, telling herself she shouldnat have come. It wasnat a question of should or shouldnat. It was more a question of desire urgent enough to amount to need. She was sure that just the sight of the back of Matthewas head for two hours, just the knowledge that they were breathing the same air, would replenish the fuel in her emotional tank enough to get her through another few days, another week. To see him, simply to see him, might help reassure her that she had, in truth, done nothing wrong, that she was not the reason for his leaving, that she had not failed in some essential quality of womanliness, of femininity.

aI thought,a Laura had emailed from Leeds, athat Matthew was always so supportive of your careera.

Ruth hadnat replied. She could have said, aHe was. He is,a but then she could foresee the questions that would follow and she couldnat answer those, not the aBut why, then?a questions. If she could, she thought now, scanning rapidly down Edieas numerous minor television appearances, she wouldnat be here now, skulking in the back row of the theatre rather than sitting with Matthewas family in the secure, acknowledged place of approved-of girlfriend. She felt a prick of incipient tears. She swallowed. No self-pity, she told herself sternly, no poor little me. Youave chosen to come here so youall have to take the consequences. Whatever they are.

aIn the seventeenth century,a Russell told Rosa, athere werenat any theatrical foyers. In fact, I donat think there were any before Garrick. The audience came in off the street and made their way through narrow dark tunnels and then, wham, suddenly emerged into the candlelit glory of the auditorium. Can you imagine?a Rosa wasnat listening. She was distracted by the fact that her Uncle Max had turned up wearing a double-breasted blazer with white jeans, and also that Ben, having said head come, and that head bring Naomi, was still not there and might have translated into action the doubtfulness in his voice about coming.

aI always liked this theatre,a Russell said.

He looked round. The auditorium was filling up and across the seats he could see several well-known newspaper theatre critics in their usual places, right on the edge, so that they could spring up the moment the curtain came down a" or even before a" to file their copy. He waved in a general sort of way.

aThereas Nathaniel. And Alistair. I wonder how many performances of this theyave sat througha.

aIf Ben doesnat show up, Iall kill him,a Rosa said.

aBen?a aYesa.

aBenas coming?a aDad,a Rosa said, aMum is his mother tooa. Russell waved to someone else. He said, aSo nice of people to come. Halfway to Watford, after alla"a Rosa said suddenly, aThat must be Naomia. Russell turned. Ben, in his beanie hat and a denim jacket, was steering a slender girl with spectacular primrose hair through the door from the foyer. She was wearing a tiny dress with sequinned straps and her legs and shoulders were bare.

aBarbie,a Rosa said under her breath.

Russell pushed past her and made his way towards them.

He put a hand on Benas shoulder.

aOld mana"a Ben looked awkward. He said, aThis is Naomia.

Russell smiled. He took his hand off Benas shoulder and held it out to Naomi. aHow nice to meet youa.

She transferred her doll-sized handbag from one hand to the other, and put the free hand into Russellas.

aHi there,a Naomi said. She gave a tiny smile, revealing gappy white teeth. Her skin was flawless.

aItas nice of you to come,a Russell said. aIam afraid this isnat a very cheerful playa.

Ben grunted.

Naomi said, aWe go to musicals at Christmas. My mum likes Elaine Pagea.

aFine voice,a Russell said. aNo singing this evening, thougha"a Naomi said coolly, aI wasnat expecting ita.

Rosa appeared at Russellas elbow. She loomed over Naomi like a Valkyrie.

aThis is Rosa,a Ben said, slightly desperately.

Naomi looked her up and down.

aPleased to meet youa.

aMe too,a Rosa said. She glanced at Ben. aGlad you made ita. He shrugged. He said, aMum called mea. aMum did? I called youa.

Ben sighed. He rubbed his hand over his head, pushing his beanie lower over his brows.

He said, aShe rang to ask if I minded you having my rooma.

Naomi was watching Rosa with brown eyes that were extremely sharp, despite their improbable size.

aWell,a she said, aBen doesnat need his bedroom now, does he?a aWell, noa"a aSo you can have ita. Naomi looked up at Ben with quiet possessiveness. aCanat she?a aSure,a Ben said.

Russell made a gesture for them to sit down. aFive minutes to curtain-upa"a Rosa looked at Naomi.

aWonat you be cold?a Naomi flicked a glance over Rosaas jacket. aI donat feel the colda. aCome on,a Russell said, aseats timea. Ben put an arm round Naomias smooth narrow shoulders.

He said to Rosa, aShe can always have my jacketa.

Rosa said nothing. She watched them turn away from her, Russell shepherding Naomi down the aisle towards her seat, bending towards her, talking, with Ben following behind with the bewildered air of someone trapped in an environment completely alien to him. Affectation, Rosa thought savagely, absolute affectation, all for Naomias benefit, parading independence, parading detachment from background, parading the kind of cool anyone with half an eye could see was fake. She saw Matthew a" suited, with a tie a" half get up from his seat to greet Naomi, and then Max leap up and bend over her hand like some afternoon-television games-show host, and then she saw them all settle down into their seats, all in a row, couple by couple, and then Matthew, in a seat next to Russell, and then a space left for her, at the end, a space with nothing on her other side but more space. Her eyes moved back along the row and rested on Vivien.

aNo hurry to go, darling,a Vivien had said, putting the largest prawn from the seafood risotto on Rosaas plate, aabsolutely no hurry. Max can just wait till youare ready to leavea. Shead giggled, and added another mussel to the prawn. aHe can waita.

Rosa began to walk slowly down the aisle towards her seat. There had been, really, nothing she could say but yes when Edie rang and said shead heard about Vivien and Max and of course Rosa could come home, that day, if she needed to. But, if there had been nothing else to say, that didnat mean that she had said yes with any relief, any thankfulness. Being grateful for the offer didnat disguise, for a moment, the fact that the feelings of hopelessness and self-disgust, which she had, strangely, managed to escape from in Vivienas overstuffed spare bedroom, hadnat gone away but had merely been biding their time.

I wanted this, she thought, looking at her family. A few months ago, I wanted this, I wanted to go back home. And now I am, all I feel is a failure.

She eased herself into the end seat, next to her father. He was looking straight ahead, at the drawn curtains of the stage, and she could tell, from the look on his face, that he was thinking of nothing but Edie.

Vivien thought that if only Eliot could have been there too a" with or without Ro, who was somehow very hard to visualise a" she would have been completely happy. As it was, sitting in a darkening theatre with Max on one side of her a" his pristine white knee lightly touching hers a" and Ben on the other, and all the family beyond Ben, including Benas girlfriend, who looked as if shead be an excellent test case for Maxas avowal of reformation, was a pretty good approximation to complete happiness. She had never, after all, envied Edie her acting talent, she had never wished she was Edie or wanted to live the way Edie did. She was, she told herself, very pleased for Edie that shead got this part, just as she was very pleased for Edie that shead managed to fill the house again, and that all the broken bridges were mended, and that she, Vivien, had played a part in sheltering Rosa until Russell came round to seeing that you couldnat turn the poor girl away a second time. In fact, Vivien thought, noticing that she could feel Maxas shoulder as well as his knee, it had all turned out really well and everybody had got what they wanted, except that she wished Eliot was not in Australia, but even that was rather more bearable now knowing that Max not only felt the same, but had also suggested that they fly out for Christmas.

aOur son,a Max had said, speaking of Eliot, the other day. aOur sona.

Vivien smiled in the darkness. The curtains gave a small quiver and parted, slightly unsteadily, to reveal a large garden room with a view of a gloomy fjord visible through the back window. In the doorway to a conservatory beyond stood a working man with, apparently, a club foot. Opposite him, as if preventing him from coming any further in, was a remarkable-looking girl in a maidas uniform, holding a large garden syringe.

aGood God,a Max said, in an audible whisper, athatas never Edie?a aaAh, but you see,aa Edie said, as Mrs Alving, aahere he has his mother. Heas a dear good boy, and he still has a soft spot for his mother.aa Matthew shifted a little in his seat. Edie looked impressive really, in a black dress with great full skirts and her hair drawn back under a white lace cap with black ribbons. She looked not just different, but distanced from her everyday self, and her voice was different too, and her gestures, and the way she spaced her words out. Head seen her act before, of course, but really only on television and not, as far as he could remember, in anything where she wasnat still recognisably his mother. He had wondered how he would feel, seeing her on stage being someone so very separate from her real self, whether he would be excited, or even embarrassed.

What he actually felt, sitting there in the dark between his father and his sister, was a surprising degree of interest, an interest that would intensify, he rather thought, when Lazlo made his entrance, when he saw his mother and Lazlo together on stage.

He could feel that Russell, on his left-hand side, was concentrating with the effort you use when you are willing someone to do well. That concentration, he thought, was typical of his father, typically generous, typically reasonable. Russell, after all, had had plenty to resent Edie for in the last few weeks, but for tonight had managed to put all grudges aside in order to focus on this production working, on Edie achieving something that had nothing to do with relationships or family or those tiny but telling shifts in power that meant you could go from light to dark in a matter of hours. One word was all it took, sometimes, one careless word. Or a" Matthew tensed a little -the absence of words over a long, fatal period of illusory calm could result in the failure to stop a slide into something that couldnat be rescued by words any more.

He had kept his vow not to contact Ruth. He had joined a new a" cheaper a" gym near his parentsa home and opened a savings account with his bank. Part of him was quite pleased about these manifestations of recovery, but part of him felt that they were pitiful, forlorn little plasters stuck on a still-gaping wound. And yet these efforts had to be maintained, even built on, because there could be no going back, even if he couldnat visualise a" and he had tried a" a woman who he would simply like to be with as much as he had liked being with Ruth. In the night, when he woke, and remembered everything with a weary renewal of suffering, he missed Ruthas just being there more than any other aspect of their relationship. For several years, after all, he had been wrapped in a companionship he had never had before and had never ceased to marvel at. He could discuss things with Ruth, confide things to Ruth, that it had never occurred to him as possible to articulate, and which were now bottling up again inside him despite his continued attempts to medicate himself by imagining what she might have counselled, how she might have responded.

He gave the briefest glance sideways, at his father. He was completely absorbed in what was going on, on stage, his elbows propped on the seat arms, his hands loosely clasped below his chin. Presumably, over all the decades head been married, his father had told his mother all kinds of things he hadnat told anyone else a" in fact, didnat need to tell anyone else because he had Edie. Matthew looked back at the stage. Were all men like this? Were all men, if left to themselves, this lonely?

Abruptly on stage, Edie became extraordinarily illuminated. She flung out an arm, gesturing towards the open doorway.

aaListen,aa she said, her voice full of sudden rapture, aathereas Osvald on the stairs! Now weall think about nothing but him.aa And then Lazlo, in a long pale coat, a hat in one hand and a pipe in the other, stepped dreamily on to the stage and the whole theatre turned to look at him.

Up in the little balcony a" only three rows deep and uncomfortably steeply raked a" Kate and Barney Ferguson watched the Boyd family rise for the interval.

aI canat move,a Kate said. aIt was enough trouble getting me in here and Iam not trying to get out again until the enda.

aOughtnat you to go and see them?a Kate looked down into the stalls.

aWell, you could find Rosa and ask her to come and see mea.

Barney stood up.

aWhoas the spiv?a aThat,a Kate said, ais Rosaas Uncle Max. Married to Edieas sister Vivien, in fuchsia pinka. She paused and then she said, aThe colour Rosa and I have always referred to as menopause pinka.

Barney looked down, smiling.

He said tolerantly, aNasty girlsa.

aThatas usa.

He turned in the narrow space between the seats and looked behind him.

aIall just climb my way out and go and find hera.

aPast an ice cream, perhaps?a He smiled again.

aNot that kind of theatrea"a aNo,a Kate said. aMoreas the pitya.

Barney bent and dropped a kiss on her head.

aI like,a he said, aknowing exactly where you are,a and then he climbed over the seats behind him and made his way down to the foyer, which doubled as a bar during the interval.

Russell was standing at the bar lining up glasses. Barney touched his arm. aEvening, sira.

Russell looked round. He was glowing. aYou must be the last young man on the planet with manners. Isnat she wonderful?a aBrilliant,a Barney said.

aI mean,a Russell said, starting to riffle through his wallet for notes, aI knew she could, I knew she had it in her, but sheas bringing something else to this. Iam bowled over. And by the boya.

aNot surpriseda"a Russell took his hand out of his wallet and gripped Barneyas arm.

He said, almost conspiratorially, aMatt was in the Gents just now and overheard a couple of chaps saying there goes the next Hamlet and Gertrude and from his description of them, theyare surelya"a aBarney,a Rosa said, from behind them.

Barney turned.

He said, aSheas wonderfula.

Rosa nodded.

She said, aItas given me quite a turna"a aIgnorant child,a Russell said affectionately. He turned back to the bar and began to gather up glasses. Rosa said, aWhereas Kate?a aWaiting for you. In what passes for the dress circlea. aLovely of you to come,a Russell said, over his shoulder. aLovely of everyone. Lovely evening. Lovely everything.

Wine?a Rosa took a glass neatly from her fatheras grip and handed it to Barney.

aIall go and find Katea.

aShead like that. Sheas wedgeda.

Rosa slipped past him and vanished up the stairs. Barney took a sip of his wine. It tasted like the wine at student parties, the kind theyad bought in plastic bottles with screw-tops and amateur labels. It was offering Kate a glass of something much superior that had first induced her to look at him, to see beyond a" he hoped a" the name and the voice and the manners. And now look at him, married to her, mortgage with her, baby on the way, parents all forgiveness after an educational career in which school reports had struggled to perceive potential. Barney smiled privately into his wine. Nothing except happiness and current idolatry would have induced him to entertain even the thought of going to see an Ibsen play, let alone finding himself rather absorbed in it. Rosaas mama was a" well, really rather something.

He raised his eyes and looked across the group. Rosaas brother Matthew a" pretty successful, from the cut of his suit a" was talking to the kind of girl Barneyas father would probably have referred to as a popsie. Barney made his way over to them and stared openly at Naomi. She was like something straight out of a sweetshop.

Matthew stopped what he was saying and said to Naomi, This is Barney. Heas married to my sisteras best frienda.

Naomi looked at him as one might regard something interesting but irrelevant from another species.

aPleased to meet you,a she said.

aLikewisea"a aNaomi,a Matthew said, ais Benas girlfrienda. aLucky Bena. Naomi didnat smile.

She said instead, aYour wifeas pregnant, isnat she?a aHow did you know?a aI listen,a Naomi said, aI pay attention. I always did, even at schoola.

aMore than I ever dida"a Matthew cleared his throat.

Barney switched his gaze from Naomi to Matthew and said, aYour mother is amazinga. Matthew nodded.

He looked a little bright-eyed, as if he was feverish. Now that Barney was paying attention, he thought Matthew also looked a bit gaunt, older, somehow.

He smiled and said, aI have to say, I wouldnat exactly have hurried here, without Kate, but Iam awfully glad I dida.