4. A man, however, may be married and not mated, and consequently reap trouble and unhappiness. A young couple should first carefully learn each other by making the courtship a matter of business, and sufficiently long that the disposition and temper of each may be thoroughly exposed and understood.

5. First see that there is love; secondly, that there is adaptation; thirdly, see that there are no physical defects, and if these conditions are properly considered, cupid will go with you.

6. The happiest place on all earth is home. A loving wife and lovely children are jewels without price, as Payne says:

"'Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam.

Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home."

7. Reciprocated love produces a general exhilaration of the system.

The elasticity of the muscles is increased, the circulation is quickened, and every bodily function is stimulated to renewed activity by a happy marriage.

8. The consummation desired by all who experience this affection, is the union of souls in a true marriage. Whatever of beauty or romance there may have been in the lover's dream, is enhanced and spiritualized in the intimate communion of married life. The crown of wifehood and maternity is purer, more divine than that of the maiden.

Pa.s.sion is lost--emotions predominate.

9. TOO EARLY MARRIAGES.--Too early marriage is always bad for the female. If a young girl marries, her system is weakened and a full development of her body is prevented, and the dangers of confinement are considerably increased.

10. Boys who marry young derive but little enjoyment from the connubial state. They are liable to excesses and thereby lose much of the vitality and power of strength and physical endurance.

11. LONG LIFE.--Statistics show that married men live longer than bachelors. Child-bearing for women is conducive to longevity.

12. COMPLEXION.--Marriage purifies the complexion, removes blotches from the skin, invigorates the body, fills up the tones of the voice, gives elasticity and firmness to the step, and brings health and contentment to old age.

13. TEMPTATIONS REMOVED.--Marriage sanctifies a home, while adultery and libertinism produce unrest, distrust and misery. It must be remembered that a married man can practice the most absolute continence and enjoy a far better state of health than the licentious man. The comforts of companionship develop purity and give rest to the soul.

14. TOTAL ABSTENTION.--It is no doubt difficult for some men to fully abstain from s.e.xual intercourse and be entirely chaste in mind.

The great majority of men experience frequent strong s.e.xual desire.

Abstention is very apt to produce in their minds voluptuous images and untamable desires which require an iron will to banish or control. The hermit in his seclusion, or the monk in his retreat, are often flushed with these pa.s.sions and trials. It is, however, natural; for remove these pa.s.sions and man would be no longer a man. It is evident that the natural state of man is that of marriage; and he who avoids that state is not in harmony with the laws of his being.

[Ill.u.s.tration: AN ALGERIAN BRIDE.]

15. PROSt.i.tUTION.--Men who inherit strong pa.s.sions easily argue themselves into the belief either to practice masturbation or visit places of prost.i.tution, on the ground that their health demands it.

Though medical investigation has proven it repeatedly to be false, yet many believe it. The consummation of marriage involves the mightiest issues of life and is the most holy and sacred right recognized by man, and it is the Balm of Gilead for many ills. Masturbation or prost.i.tution soon blight the brightest prospects a young man may have.

Manhood is morality and purity of purpose, not sensuality.

DISADVANTAGES OF CELIBACY.

1. To live the life of a bachelor has many advantages and many disadvantages. The man who commits neither fornication, adultery nor secret vice, and is pure in mind, surely has all the moral virtues that make a good man and a good citizen, whether married or unmarried.

2. If a good pure-minded man does not marry, he will suffer no serious loss of vital power; there will be no tendency to spermatorrhoea or congestion, nor will he be afflicted with any one of those ills which certain vicious writers and quacks would lead many people to believe.

Celibacy is perfectly consistent with mental vigor and physical strength. Regularity in the habits of life will always have its good effects on the human body.

3. The average life of a married man is much longer than that of a bachelor. There is quite an alarming odds in the United States in favor of a man with a family. It is claimed that the married man lives on an average from five to twenty years longer than a bachelor. The married man lives a more regular life. He has his meals more regularly and is better nursed in sickness, and in every way a happier and more contented man. The happiness of wife and children will always add comfort and length of days to the man who is happily married.

4. It is a fact well answered by statistics that there is more crime committed, more vices practiced, and more immorality among single men than among married men. Let the young man be pure in heart like Bunyan's Pilgrim, and he can pa.s.s the deadly dens, the roaring lions, and overcome the ravenous fires of pa.s.sion, unscathed. The vices of single men support the most flagrant of evils of modern society, hence let every young man beware and keep his body clean and pure. His future happiness largely depends upon his chast.i.ty while a single man.

[Ill.u.s.tration: "MADE IN U.S.A."]

[Ill.u.s.tration: I WILL NEVER MARRY.]

OLD MAIDS.

1. MODERN ORIGIN.--The prejudice which certainly still exists in the average mind against unmarried women must be of comparatively modern origin. From the earliest ages to ancient Greece, and Rome particularly, the highest honors were paid them. They were the ministers of the old religions, and regarded with superst.i.tious awe.

2. MATRIMONY.--Since the reformation, especially during the last century, and in our own land, matrimony has been so much esteemed, notably by women, that it has come to be regarded as in some sort discreditable for them to remain single. Old maids are mentioned on every hand with mingled pity and disdain, arising no doubt from the belief, conscious or unconscious, that they would not be what they are if they could help it. Few persons have a good word for them as a cla.s.s. We are constantly hearing of lovely maidens, charming wives, buxom widows, but almost never of attractive old maids.

3. DISCARDING PREJUDICE.--The real old maid is like any other woman.

She has faults necessarily, though not those commonly conceived of. She is often plump, pretty, amiable, interesting, intellectual, cultured, warm-hearted, benevolent, and has ardent friends of both s.e.xes. These constantly wonder why she has not married, for they feel that she must have had many opportunities. Some of them may know why; she may have made them her confidantes. She usually has a sentimental, romantic, frequently a sad and pathetic past, of which she does not speak unless in the sacredness of intimacy.

4. NOT QUARRELSOME.--She is not dissatisfied, querulous nor envious.

On the contrary, she is, for the most part, singularly content, patient and serene,--more so than many wives who have household duties and domestic cares to tire and trouble them.

5. REMAIN SINGLE FROM NECESSITY.--It is a stupid, as well as a heinous mistake, that women who remain single do so from necessity. Almost any woman can get a husband if she is so minded, as daily observation attests. When we see the mult.i.tudes of wives who have no visible signs of matrimonial recommendation, why should we think that old maids have been totally neglected? We may meet those who do not look inviting.

But we meet any number of wives who are even less inviting.

6. FIRST OFFER.--The appearance and outgiving of many wives denote that they have accepted the first offer; the appearance and outgiving of many old maids that they have declined repeated offers. It is undeniable, that wives, in the ma.s.s, have no more charm than old maids have, in the ma.s.s. But, as the majority of women are married, they are no more criticised nor commented on, in the bulk, than the whole s.e.x are. They are spoken of individually as pretty or plain, bright or dull, pleasant or unpleasant; while old maids are judged as a species, and almost always unfavorable.

[Ill.u.s.tration: "I HAVE CHANGED MY MIND."]

7. BECOMES A WIFE.--Many an old maid, so-called, unexpectedly to her a.s.sociates becomes a wife, some man of taste, discernment and sympathy having induced her to change her state. Probably no other man of his kind has proposed before, which accounts for her singleness. After her marriage hundreds of persons who had sneered at her condition find her charming, thus showing the extent of their prejudice against feminine celibacy. Old maids in general, it is fair to presume, do not wait for opportunities, but for proposers of an acceptable sort. They may have, indeed they are likely to have, those, but not to meet these.

8. NO LONGER MARRY FOR SUPPORT.--The time has changed and women have changed with it. They have grown more sensible, more independent in disposition as well as circ.u.mstances. They no longer marry for support; they have proved their capacity to support themselves, and self-support has developed them in every way. a.s.sured that they can get on comfortably and contentedly alone they are better adapted by the a.s.surance for consortship. They have rapidly increased from this and cognate causes, and have so improved in person, mind and character that an old maid of to-day is wholly different from an old maid of forty years ago.

[Ill.u.s.tration: CONVINCING HIS WIFE.]

WHEN AND WHOM TO MARRY.

1. EARLY MARRIAGES.--Women too early married always remain small in stature, weak, pale, emaciated, and more or less miserable. We have no natural nor moral right to perpetuate unhealthy const.i.tutions, therefore women should not marry too young and take upon themselves the responsibility, by producing a weak and feeble generation of children. It is better not to consummate a marriage until a full development of body and mind has taken place. A young woman of twenty-one to twenty-five, and a young man of twenty-three to twenty-eight, are considered the right age in order to produce an intelligent and healthy offspring. "First make the tree good, then shall the fruit be good also."

2. If marriage is delayed too long in either s.e.x, say from thirty to forty-five, the offspring will often be puny and more liable to insanity, idiocy, and other maladies.

3. p.u.b.eRTY.--This is the period when childhood pa.s.ses from immaturity of the s.e.xual functions to maturity. Woman attains this state a year or two sooner than man. In the hotter climates the period of p.u.b.erty is from twelve to fifteen years of age, while in cold climates, such as Russia, the United States, and Canada, p.u.b.erty is frequently delayed until the seventeenth year.

4. DISEASED PARENTS.--We do the race a serious wrong in multiplying the number of hereditary invalids. Whole families of children have fallen heir to lives of misery and suffering by the indiscretion and poor judgment of parents. No young man in the vigor of health should think for a moment of marrying a girl who has the impress of consumption or other disease already stamped upon her feeble const.i.tution. It only multiplies his own suffering, and brings no material happiness to his invalid wife. On the other hand, no healthy, vigorous young woman ought to unite her destiny with a man, no matter how much she adored him, who is not healthy and able to brave the hardships of life. If a young man or young woman with feeble body cannot find permanent relief either by medicine or change of climate, no thoughts of marriage should be entertained. Courting a patient may be pleasant, but a hard thing in married life to enjoy. The young lady who supposes that any young man wishes to marry her for the sake of nursing her through life makes a very grave mistake.

[Ill.u.s.tration: LIFE INSURANCE COMPANIES DEMAND PHYSICAL EXAMINATION.

WHY NOT MATRIMONY?]