Holding back a sigh, Arilyn grabbed her laundry basket and headed outside to get her clothes from the line. She hoped that Mrs. Blackfire wouldn't be out spying. Guilt pricked her at the second empty wine bottle she'd be forced to put out in recycling this week. The evening spent together hadn't gone as bad as she expected, and Poppy had entertained them both with stories. Mrs. Blackfire had actually smiled at one point. Arilyn couldn't stop staring at her, wondering if it was a trick of the light, and then Poppy gave her that sharp look-that she was being rude-and she'd concentrated on eating. At least, Poppy seemed more inclined to try some other activities at the center this week.

She opened the door and rammed right into the man on her doorstep.

When she refocused, her world shook, tilted, and dumped her in a tangle of limbs on the cold ground.

Jacob.

He looked exactly the same. Shoulder-length dark hair tied back, revealing the graceful, etched lines of his face. Long limbed and lean from his many years of yoga. A watchful, reflective aura surrounded him. He'd studied in India under a powerful yogi and dedicated his life to serving others.

Too bad he was also a lying, scheming cheater.

The nasty thought helped her breath return. Her world rebalanced. Her many years of practice and study under his tutelage came roaring back. Once, he'd made her feel as if she was the most important thing in his world. Now he only reminded her of how little she meant to him in the bigger picture.

Arilyn checked the lock on the door inside her heart.

Still tight.

"Arilyn." His voice lilted, carried, stroked, like poetry whispered in a lover's ear. "I wanted to come sooner, but I realize how angry you must be. I thought a bit of time would be better for us to talk."

He'd come before, of course. Twice. The first time he cheated, he fell to his knees and cried. Begged her forgiveness. Spoke of man's weakness and his mockery of monogamy. Said if she demanded it, she was worth the sacrifice of giving up other women. She forgave him and took him back.

The second time was more delicate. He waited two full days after the righteous, horrid anger passed and she fell into grief mode. He admitted his fault and spoke for hours about how scared he was of being close with her. How she filled him up in ways his meditation and spiritual practices never could. He wanted a chance to show her they could be more together, because he was no longer afraid. Long into the night, they discussed their dreams and ambitions. She laid down the law. No more cheating. She wanted to move forward into the light with a real relationship. She wanted him to tell the students.

He promised it all, and slowly Arilyn believed they'd make it.

Now she looked at the man she'd given five years to and wondered why. Why him? What did he truly give her other than the mirage of communication and connectedness? Even their lovemaking was a lesson in spirituality. He made her study tantric sex in all its forms but never seemed to give himself completely over to her on an emotional level. It was more like the practice itself turned him on rather than her. The idea of giving himself over was better than the actual process.

Arilyn wondered if he'd been lying to himself, too. He seemed more satisfied banging his student without any higher emotional connection than he ever did with her.

"There's nothing more to discuss," she said evenly. "We've done this scene before. Twice. We both need to move on."

Confusion flicked over his features. "You're the one I love. I know I've hurt you, but I think we need to discuss our relationship. Close the cycle."

Ah, yes. Cycles. Jacob was big into honoring the beginning and ending of any type of relationship. Once, she'd thought it was beautiful. Now she had sunk to such a level, she only wanted to bash him in the face.

The hurt and humiliation simmered. Her heart, though, remained beating and whole. "With all the hours we talked and dissected our relationship, I think we've done enough. You need to go. Back to your studio, and your spiritual path, and your many, many female students."

"Please." His voice reached out and begged. "Tracey and I had been spending late nights discussing her path. She'd graduated to the intermediate student pool and felt pressured. She came to me, needful, and I was weak, Arilyn. It's the fault I'm consistently struggling with. My body was weak, but I swear, you're the one I live for. The woman I love. Please give me a chance to talk."

Still holding the laundry basket, Arilyn wondered what would happen if she let him in. Every woman had a certain weakness, and Jacob was hers. He represented a sense of authority and knowledge that always turned her on and played on her mind and emotions like a conductor at the symphony. He'd been her guide on the path of yoga, opening her body and soul to the ancient practice. Textbook stuff. The symbol of the teacher-client relationship and schoolgirl crush.

And he always came back to her.

Arilyn knew that, in his own way, he did love her. But it wasn't the way she could live with anymore, and it wasn't the type of love she wanted. She ached for so much more.

If she let him in to talk, she might forgive him. Be happy for a while. Maybe six months. Maybe a year. When they worked together well, she equated it to being high on drugs twenty-four/seven. He made her feel like the most important woman in the world, the keeper of his heart and happiness, and she drowned herself in those dreams. She'd trick herself into believing in something real, believe his lies about meeting her family and friends, and find herself in the same position.

Stone Petty was more honest than this man was. He was also more passionate.

The odd thought trickled past her, but she pushed it aside and concentrated on her ex-lover.

Her voice strengthened. "No more. I like my life now, Jacob. It's more real than what we had. I'm moving on, and it's time you do, too."

"I love you. We're soul mates. If you give me a chance, I'll prove it."

The final pang from his loss struck deep. "I loved you, too. But not anymore. Good-bye, Jacob. Please don't come here again."

The shock on his face told her more than she ever needed to know. Rarely did a woman turn him down. As she sagged against the closed door, heart pounding, Arilyn realized it was the first time she'd ever stood up to him and told him no. On her terms.

A laugh escaped her lips. Shaking, she dropped the basket and grabbed her wineglass. She felt freer than she ever had. The sadness of a broken relationship would always haunt her. She'd given him so much of herself. But she was stronger now. It was time to figure out what she needed and pursue that path with her eyes wide-open and no more lies clogging her vision.

Arilyn sipped her wine. And thought of Stone.

An affair. The thought of giving in to her body and allowing herself to experiment tempted her like a siren call. Still, she was afraid if she couldn't handle it, she'd break again too soon. Not that she'd be in danger of falling in love with him, of course. But if she got addicted to the sex? Began to cling to him in an unhealthy manner due to her leftover need from Jacob?

Nightmare.

The doorbell rang.

She shook her head, grasping the knob, ready to show Jacob what it felt like to get in touch with real anger.

Kate, Kennedy, and Gen were perched on her doorstep.

"Surprise!"

Arilyn laughed and hugged them. "What are you doing here? I thought the bachelorette party was Friday night."

"Did you start the party without us?" Kennedy asked, swinging her hips clad in a trendy pencil skirt with a short leather jacket. She opened up the cabinets and took down three more wineglasses. "Oh, goody, I love sauvignon blanc."

Gen slid onto one of the breakfast stools and sighed. A successful resident surgeon in training, she looked tired but happy. Her dark hair was caught in a messy ponytail, and she wore old jeans and a sweatshirt with the Purity Hotel logo. "I miss this place. I'm so glad you live here now, Arilyn. It's the next best thing."

Kate smiled and plucked a half-filled wineglass from the counter. "This is where you and Wolfe fell in love watching HGTV. Maybe it'll bring the same magic to Arilyn."

Arilyn sighed and leaned against the refrigerator. "I wish." In her attempt to be more open, she told them the truth. "Jacob was just here."

The girls all stared. Gen finally whispered. "You mean Yoga Man? Here?"

Kennedy frowned. "I'll show him a new yoga position he won't soon forget. Do I need to get more eggs?"

Arilyn laughed. God, it was so good to have a tight circle of friends who knew all her crappy issues, her choices in bad men, and loved her anyway. "No eggs needed. He wanted me back, of course. I said no, I've moved on. He looked shocked that I knew how to say no to him, and I began to drink buckets of wine. Oh, and there's a healthy broccoli bake for dinner."

Kate pressed her lips together. "He's such a jerk. If he thinks you're gonna transcend two cheating incidents, he's nuts. Are you okay, A?"

Her friends waited for the answer. Slowly, she nodded. "Yeah, I am. It hurt, but I know I made the right decision. I don't want that kind of life for myself."

Gen nodded. "That's why I ran out on my wedding day. It just hit me, and I had to make a choice. You won't regret it. Something better is on the horizon."

She thought of her hot cop ready to do dirty things to her, with her, and felt heat rise to her cheeks.

Kennedy pounced. "Uh-oh. And something already has. Or someone. Spill."

"Nothing. Let me get the casserole out."

Kennedy blocked the oven and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Hell, no. Who's got you blushing? I know it's not those dogs you love so much. Oh, is it the director from the shelter? He seemed hot."

"Anthony? No, he's great but more of a friend."

Gen tilted her head. "It's not that cop from the summer, is it?"

All the girls turned to look at her. "What cop?" Kate demanded. "How do you know about this and I don't?"

Gen grinned. "When Arilyn called the cops on my ex, we rode in the squad car with him. He had a gorgeous partner-Devine, I think his name was. But it was the other one that held Arilyn's attention."

Arilyn squeezed her eyes shut and groaned. Nightmare. She couldn't lie. She had promised. "He's in my anger management course," she finally said. "Officer Stone Petty."

"That's the one!" Genevieve snapped her fingers. "He was looking at you like he wanted to gobble you up. He reminded me of the big bad wolf. Really tall, dark, and badass."

Yes, on first sight he was a bit scary. Now? He'd saved her and Pinky. He hated children and women getting abused. He'd been through a crappy childhood and didn't whine. He was amazing.

Huh?

When had she actually begun to like him? Did she like him?

Kennedy clucked her tongue. "About time you date a hottie. A cop in uniform? Kill me now. I'm hiring one for Kate's stripper Friday night."

Kate groaned. "I don't want a stripper! I have Slade in my bed and have no need to see any other man naked."

"We have to do it. Tradition. It will be tasteful."

"Strippers aren't tasteful."

"Exotic male dancers," Ken corrected.

Kate rolled her eyes. "Back to hot cop. Are you dating?"

Arilyn waved off the question. "No. He's my client. Kind of. And he's completely not my type. We fight, and you know I never fight with people."

"Fighting is a source of releasing sexual tension," Kennedy pointed out. "This could be a good thing. Did you ever fight with Yoga Man?"

"No, never." Arilyn thought over their relationship. Had she ever even argued with him? When she got upset, they sat down and discussed. Made compromises. There was never yelling or anger, even when inside she seethed. Instead of letting the emotion back up and fester, she used her meditation and yoga practices to come to terms and release.

With Stone, she wasn't afraid of snapping back at him. In a way, it was sort of fun. Nothing was left behind to work out, because she always told him exactly what she thought and felt, with no worries about how he'd handle it.

Interesting.

Gen nodded. "Kennedy's right. The two of you exploded together. Why don't you just date him?"

"No, we're too different. It would never work."

"Then just sleep with him." Everyone stared at Kennedy. She lifted her hands up in the air. "What? Why does everything always have to be heavy and relationship centered? Affairs work. Get him out of your system. He's your transitional anyway."

Arilyn sighed and took out the casserole. Grabbing some plates, she began slicing pieces for each of them. "Maybe."

Kate laughed. "Wow, he really did get to you. Normally you'd tell us to mind our own business and you'd never involve yourself with just sex."

"She's opening up to new opportunities," Kennedy said. "Which is a perfect introduction to the real reason we're here."

Arilyn gave out the plates and forks, then dug in for a bite. "Now I'm nervous."

"Don't be. We just brought you an outfit to wear on Friday night."

Suspicion laced her voice. "I already have an outfit."

Kennedy shuddered. "I know. It's unacceptable. Boring. You're gorgeous and need to play up your assets. No yoga pants allowed."

"I'm not wearing leather or fur, and you can't make me."

"Fake leather," Kennedy pointed out. "And you need to show some leg. You never wear skirts."

Gen giggled. "She's right, A. If there's going to be exotic dancers, you need to expose some skin. You're gonna love what Ken picked out."

Arilyn groaned. "I am so not ready for this."

Kate sighed. "Neither am I."

Kennedy smiled. "This bachelorette party is gonna be epic."

They all shared a glance. "That's exactly what I'm afraid of," Arilyn said.

Then they all burst into laughter.

ten.

HANDS REACHING HIGH, palms together, and sweep down to the ground. Touch the floor. Deep breath in and right foot back. Lift the heel if you can. Inhale and release left. Hold. Fully exhale aaaand push back to plank pose. Hold for a breath. Lower down, chin touches mat, push back to Downward Dog. Hold. Breathe. Lower back down aaaand right foot all the way to your palms. Walk it forward if you have to. Inhale and left foot steps in. Rise back up, full breath in and out. Beautiful. Let's do it again."

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

She was hot as sin and the spawn of the devil. An enchantress of death. Because if he had to do this fucking Salutation to the Moon or whatever the hell it was one more time, he was gonna die of a heart attack.

Dying of smoking was so much more pleasant.

He shot a sidelong glare at his prison mates. Luther embraced the punishment, pushing through the routine with a tiny smile on his face. Seemed he was reading up on yoga and meditation practices and was consistently adding educational side notes to Arilyn's lecture. She seemed to love it, too.