"You not ready to settle down, continue your basic life as a married woman?"

"I'm only twenty-four. I'm too young for that yet."

"Twenty-four, huh? You ever had another boyfriend other than, y'know, my namesake?"

Lucy stands up. There's the satisfying ksshk! of the beer can opening and she takes a big swig before answering. "What's with the interrogation today?" she says with a more serious tone.

"I've just got nothing much to offer in conversation on my end. Besides... You're interesting."

"Stop saying that."

"What?"

"That I'm interesting. I'm not."

"That's up to me to decide that."

She stares out at the water as the sun dips behind some clouds, sending our oasis into a semi-darkness.

"What's your favorite motorcycle?"

"A vintage silver super glide," I recall, able to picture its curves and colors. "s.e.xiest bike I've ever seen."

"You sure?" Lucy replies. "Not...A V-rod fan?"

"More into the cla.s.sics."

Lucy, still facing away from me takes another big sip of her beer then starts spluttering.

"Wrong hole?" I ask.

But then her spluttering turns to a soft twitch of her back. She's crying.

"Everything okay?"

"Always, Landon."

I stand and approach her but before I can get close she puts down the beer and throws herself back into the water. I wade in after her, my legs screaming in protest at the sharp cool water.

"Thought it was too cold for you, p.u.s.s.y," she says, trying to disguise her quivering chin. It's when I look up to her eyes and she's looking back at me that I can see the tears rolling down her face.

"Lucy?"

She doesn't swim away. This girl is too f.u.c.king trusting, but there's a part of me that doesn't know if I should trust myself. I like the girl, sure. She's endearing. Complex. Breathtaking... But who the h.e.l.l am I to deserve her?

"Did I say somethin' wrong?" I say.

"No."

"Why are you crying?" My finger rests to her chin, legs kicking hard to keep me above water. She drops her gaze to watch her fingertips swirl through the surface of the water.

"Lucy."

"Landon, I..."

"You what?"

I watch her mouth closely when she drags her teeth over her lower lip. This time, I physically move away back so I don't do something with her that I'll regret. There's a deep part of me that wants to take care of her, but why? Who is this girl and what is she doing to me?

"I have to tell you something," I husk.

"Tell me what?"

"All I want to do is f.u.c.king kiss you, sweetheart."

"W-We can't," she says meekly through her tears. "It's all messed up now."

Carelessly, I approach her again, this time unable to stop myself from wrapping my arms around her freezing figure. She buries her face into my chest and returns the embrace by interlacing her hands behind my neck. I squeeze her tighter. I was meant to meet this girl. f.u.c.k knows why. I'm not into mumbo-jumbo s.h.i.t like that, but being around her... I don't feel any urge to leave this place. As long as she's around, I wanna stay and figure her out. To h.e.l.l with the club I could barely remember. To h.e.l.l with bikes and b.i.t.c.hes. To h.e.l.l with Mia and whatever the f.u.c.k she had done.

What Mia had done...

Feelings flooded back. Betrayal. Sadness.

Anger...

Like an out of body experience I can feel my bike beneath me, the engine roaring as I rode through the night. A few more miles would put me at the scene of the accident where Lucy found me, but at that moment, one feeling stood out among all the others.

Fear.

What the f.u.c.k was I running from?

Lucy's sobs pulled me back out of my own head.

"Tell me what's wrong," I say.

Her head shakes.

"When you're ready to talk... I'm here."

She mumbles something into my chest and I pull back to look down at her. "What'd you say?"

"Not for long," she says again so I hear.

"I'm remembering things Lucy. I need to understand what happened with my club..."

"Apparently."

She lets me go and swims back to sh.o.r.e.

We stay there by the rush of the waterfall for another hour, but we don't do much talking. The intimate moment in the water is all but forgotten. She's keeping something from me, but as I watch her bathing in the afternoon sun I realize the truth... I have no right to know what that something is.

Because I'm keeping something from her.

I look down at my hands, my eyes sweeping across my scarred and callused knuckles. My memory might be f.u.c.ked, but I know exactly what kind of life those broken and battered knuckles represented...

I've lived the kind of life a girl like Lucy could never accept.

I know what kind of man I am.

10.

Landon had been quiet on the hike back to my place, and when we finally made it, he crashed hard on the couch. Maybe I'd worked him a little harder than I meant to. I looked over at the bruises that had blossomed on his arms and chest from the accident. It was easy to forget just how much damage had been done. I promised myself that I wouldn't push so hard tomorrow.

If he was still here tomorrow...

I had to get some sense of normalcy back into my life. I threw on some clean clothes and left Landon to rest, heading out the front door without any real destination in mind... Which meant only one thing.

I was going to visit Todd.

As usual, I found him outside his place chopping wood. He stopped himself halfway through a swing of his axe and wiped his brow on his handkerchief, giving me one of his million dollar smiles.

"Here's a sight for sore eyes," he says and jogs toward me to land a kiss on my forehead. My arms wrap around his torso. It's then I notice how much my emotions have shifted. Todd had been a good friend since I'd come to this little town, and maybe someday that was going to lead to something more... But as he held me I knew one thing above all others.

Todd's not the man I want wrapped in my arms.

He leads us into the house and I step inside, but I sense Todd still waiting behind me. I turn around to see his arm pressed against the living room door frame.

"So," he starts. "Billie told me about this guy you brought back to your place."

"It's only for a few days," I start, but Todd cuts me off.

"He hasn't left yet?"

I consider lying for a minute but an honest 'not yet' escapes my lips. Dishonesty is wearing me down.

"Where's he at now?"

"Sleeping on my couch." I reply, jumping slightly as Todd slaps the wall.

I walk through to the living room and take a seat at the dining table. Todd follows me in, the door shutting behind him.

"This is totally f.u.c.king disrespectful."

"It's not disrespectful. It's my house. Look, he's got no memory, no ID, no wallet. He's already starting to remember things and I'm just trying to help out someone in need. Where else is he supposed to go?"

Todd pours us both a gla.s.s of water and joins me at the table. "Maybe to his own home. He's a grown man. Let him figure it out for himself."

"He doesn't know where he lives."

"Yeah, well he sure as h.e.l.l doesn't live here. You care about people too much, Lucy. This is a man, not some dog with a broken leg. You don't have to nurse his a.s.s to health." He reaches out and squeezes my hand. "And Billie thinks he's dangerous."

"Billie has been filling your head with bulls.h.i.t."

"Says the girl with a gang-banger sleeping on her couch. He was supposed to be on the road by now. What would Billie say if I told her he's still back at your place?"

"You can't tell her that he's still here. Please."

"What?"

"You can't."

"Why the h.e.l.l are you keeping it secret?"

"Because she hates him for no reason."

"So?" he replies. "Good for her. He's bad news and she knows it."

I stand up, frustrated to all h.e.l.l and fold my arms. I'd hoped maybe Todd would be a sympathetic ear, but I'd made a mistake coming here in the first place. Before I could walk right back out, Todd grabbed my wrist.

"Stop with the d.a.m.n att.i.tude. Don't you see how weird this f.u.c.king is? Why would you invite some criminal biker to your house? I've never been past your front door, but you let a stranger in like it's no big deal?"

An anxious cramping in my chest starts to life my panic. I hadn't taken my pills today... I was feeling good enough that I didn't think I needed them. I haven't relived that night since Landon's been back. His presence has been filling my head so much that he's all I think about. It's freeing...

"I need to get back home."

"What the f.u.c.k?"

I press my palm to my chest and try to slow my breathing. "I forgot something."

"That the real reason you wanna go back?"

I take a few steps toward the back door to calm myself with the view of the ocean.

"Lucy, I don't want to upset you. You can do whatever the f.u.c.k you want. But...I'm worried about you."

"Yeah, I know. It is messed up. I don't know what I've been thinking. I'll ask him to leave tomorrow."

Todd scoffs and takes my forearm. "You're gonna stay another night with him?"

"Yes. I can't just kick him out in the dark."