Wall, on our way home I had an awful trial with Josiah Allen. Mebby what he had seen that day had made him feel kind o' riz up, and want to act.

He and I wuz a-wendin' our way along the lagoon, when all of a sudden he sez--

"Samantha, I want to go out sailin' in a gondola--I want to swing out and be romantic," sez he.

Sez he, "I always wanted to be romantic, and I always wanted to be a gondolier, but it never come handy before, and now I will! I _will_ be romantic, and sail round with you in a gondola. I'd love to go by moonlight, but sunlight is better than nothin'."

[Ill.u.s.tration: "I want to swing out and be romantic and sail round with you in a gondola."]

I looked down pityin'ly on him as he stood a few steps below me on the flight o' stairs a-leadin' down to the water's edge.

I leaned hard on my faithful old umbrell, for I had a touch of rumatiz that day.

And sez I, "Romance, Josiah, should be looked at with the bright eyes of youth, not through spectacles No. 12." Sez I, "The glowin' mist that wrops her round fades away under the magnifyin' lights of them specs, Josiah Allen."

He had took his hat off to cool his forward, and I sez further--

"Romance and bald heads don't go together worth a cent, and rumatiz and azmy are perfect strangers to her. Romance locks arms with young souls, Josiah Allen, and walks off with 'em."

"Oh, shaw!" sez Josiah, "we hain't so very old. Old Uncle Smedly would call us young, and we be, compared to him."

"Wall," sez I, "through the purblind gaze of ninety winters we may look younger, but bald heads and spectacles, Josiah Allen, tell their own silent story. We are not young, Josiah Allen, and all our lyin' and pretendin' won't make us so."

"Wall, dum it all! I never shall be any younger. You can't dispute that."

"No," sez I; "I don't spoze you will, in this spear."

"Wall, I am bound to go out in a gondola, I am bound to be a gondolier before I die. So you may as well make up your mind first as last, and the sooner I go, the younger I shall go. Hain't that so?"

With a deep sithe I answered, "I spoze so."

And he continued on, "There is such wild, free pleasure on the deep, Samantha."

But, sez I, layin' down the sword of common sense, and takin' up the weepons of affection,

"Think of the dangers, Josiah. The water is damp and cold, and your rumatiz is fearful."

"Dum it all! I hain't a-goin' _in_ the water, am I?"

"I don't know," sez I sadly, "I don't know, Josiah, and anyway the winds sweep down the lagoons, and azmy lingers on its wings. Pause, Josiah Allen, for my sake, for liniments and poultices as well as clouds have their dark linin's, and they turn 'em out to me as I ponder on your course." Sez I, "Your danger appauls me, and also the idee of bein' up nights with you."

"But," sez he firmly, "I _will_ be a gondolier, I'm bound on't. And,"

sez he, "I want one of them gorgeous silk dresses that they wear. I'd love to appear in a red and yeller suit, Samantha, or a green and purple, or a blue and maroon, with a pink sash made of thin glitterin'

silk, but I spoze that you will break that up in a minute. So, I spoze that I shall have to dwindle down onto a silk scarf, or some plumes in my hat, mebby--you never are willin' for me to soar out and spread myself, but you probable wouldn't break up a few feathers."

I groaned aloud, and mentally groped round for aid, and instinctively ketched holt of religion.

Sez I, "Elder Minkley is here, Josiah Allen, and Deacon Henzy--Jonesville church is languishin' in debt. Is this a time for feathers? What will they think on't? If you can spend money for silk scarfs and plumes, they'll expect you, and with good reason, too, to raise the debt on the meetin'-house."

He paused. Economy prevailed; what love couldn't effect or common sense, closeness did.

His brow cleared from its anxious, ambitious creases, and sez he, "Wall, do come on and less be goin."

CHAPTER XVII.

It rained some in the mornin', and Josiah said, "That it wuz presumptious for any one to go out onto the Fair ground in such a time."

So he settled down with the last Sunday's _World_, which he hadn't had time to read before, and looked and acted as if he wuzn't goin' to stir out of his tracks in some time.

[Ill.u.s.tration: He wuzn't goin' to stir.]

But I went out onto the stoop and kinder put my hand out and looked up into the clouds clost, and I see that it didn't do no more than to mist some, and I felt as if it wuz a-goin' to clear off before long.

So I said that I wuz a-goin' to venter out.

Josiah opposed me warmly, and brung up the dangers that might befall me with no pardner to protect me.

He brung up a hull heap on 'em and laid 'em down in front of me, but I calmly walked past 'em, and took down my second-best dress and bunnet, and a good deep water-proof cape, and sot off.

Wall, I got to the Fair ground with no casualities worth mentionin', and I sauntered round there with my faithful umbrell as my only gardeen, and see a sight, and took considerable comfort.

I had a good honorable lunch at noon, and I wuz a-standin' on the steps of one of the n.o.ble palaces, when I see a sedan chair approachin' shaped jest like them in my old Gography, borne by two of the men who carry such chairs. Curius-lookin' creeters they be, with their gay turbans and sashes, and long colored robes lookin' some like my long night-gowns, only much gayer-lookin'.

As it approached nearer I see a pretty girlish face a-lookin' out of the side from the curtains that wuz drawed away, a sweet face with a smile on it.

And I sez to myself, "There is a good, wholesome-lookin' girl, who don't care for the rain no more than I do," when I heard a man behind me say in a awe-strucken voice, "That is the Princess! that is the Infanty!"

[Ill.u.s.tration: "There is a good, wholesome-lookin' girl."]

And I sez to myself, here is a chance to put yourself right in her eyes.

For I wuz afraid that she would think that I hadn't done right by her sence she come over from Spain to see us.

And I didn't want her to go back with any false impressions. I wanted Spain to know jest where I stood in matters of etiquette and politeness.

So it happened jest right--she descended from her chair and stood waitin' on the steps for the rest of her folks, I guess.

And I approached with good nater in my mean, and my umbrell in my hand.

And sez I, a-holdin' out my hand horsepitably, sez I, "Ulaley, I am dretful glad of a chance to see you." Sez I, "You have had so much company ever sence you come to America, that I hain't had no chance to pay attention to you before.

"And I wanted to see you the worst kind, and tell you jest the reason I hain't invited you to my house to visit." Sez I, a-bowin' deep, "I am Josiah Allen's Wife, of Jonesville."

"Of Jonesville?" sez she, in a silver voice.

"Yes," sez I; "Jonesville, in the town of Lyme."