But Josiah kinder nudged me and said, "Mebby we'd better take the Immoral Railway. With you by my side, Samantha, I feel I can face its dangers."

Sez I, "Where has your principle gone that you had this mornin', Josiah?"

"I have got it, Samantha, jest the same; I hain't used none this time o' day. But I thought I would kinder love to tell the brethren I'd rid on it." And before I could parley with him he asked that same bystander, a good lookin' iron gray man,

"Where is the Immoral Railway?"

"The Intre Moral Railway starts there," sez he, pintin' to a place quite nigh to us.

"Intre Moral," sez I to myself; "that is a good name." And as we wended our way to it through the crowds of folks of every name and nation I sez to myself, "I'd love to ride on it." For havin' naterally so scientific and deep a mind I love to trace back words like little rivulets, to their source, and see where they spring from. For meandering through the ages they gather lots of foreign stuff and take queer turns.

Intre Moral, I took it that that meant extra moral. I liked the sound on't, and we got on and rode quite a spell, and see everything we could, and when we went clear 'round on that, we got onto a big ortomobile and rid 'round on that so's we could see the hull Fair as it were in one picture, before we examined its glories more minutely one by one.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

And I should have took sights of comfort viewin' the magnificent seens spread out and growin' and changin' every minute if I hadn't had to kep' one eye onto Josiah Allen all the time, or as you may say two eyes, one my own gray orb and the other the eye of my specs. The seen wuz so hugely grand, so magnificently stupendous, and the mind that it wuz my duty as first chaperone to guard wuz so small I sez to myself, could it be bombarded by that immense grandeur and not utterly collapse. But Blandina wuz on the other side on him, so I didn't feel as I should had the responsibility devolved on me alone.

But he bore it well. He looked off on the seen grander than anything Fairy Land ever dremp on or ever will, I believe. And then he looked pensively at my silk bag where I'd stored all the cookies and nut-cakes it would hold, to keep up his strength between meals.

And so gradually I dropped my agonizing anxiety and let my eyes drink in the onequalled beauty of the seen as we went by the tall glorious palaces towerin' up in white magnificence. Past sparklin' water s.p.a.ces filled with gay pleasure craft full of happy white-robed voyagers. Past the spans of arched bridges leadin' from one seen of glory to another, past tall white shafts carryin' up to the listenin' Heavens deeds of glory and valor.

Past white statutes more beautiful than poet's dreams, risin' up from green velvet lawns or marble terraces. Broad highways would dawn on our vision, anon vistas of incomparable beauty way off, way off as fur as we could see would open up other views jest as fair. Anon the columned walls of some nearby palace would seem to close in the view, and then agin the fur vision, and anon the blue waters flowin' on and on. And scattered all over the ground roamed the happy people, men, wimmen and children of every name and nation, clothed in every garb that folks ever wore under the sun, and some, it seemed to me, made up jest for that occasion, as Eve started her new fashion of fall dress, only this wuzn't made of leaves, no indeed! fur from it.

But I believe the foreign costoom we see most of all wuz the j.a.pan. And all through the Fair that nation seemed to show off in the very first rank. Well, I wuz willin', I always kinder liked 'em, they're so polite and courteous to everybody, and as for makin' storks and folks settin' on nothin' and lookin' perfectly comfortable settin' on it, they go fur ahead of anybody else, and they have lots of other n.o.ble qualities. In cleanin' house time, now I have fairly begreched the ease and comfort of them j.a.panese housewives who jest take up their mat and sweep out, move their paper walls a little mebby and there it is done.

No heavy, dirt-laden carpets to clean, no papered walls and ceilings to break their back over, no trumpery brickaty brack to take care of and dust and make life a burden. Kind hearted, reverent to equals and superiors-trained to kindness and courtesy and reverence in childhood when American mothers are ruled and badgered by short skirted and roundabout clad tyrants.

I set store by the j.a.pans and am glad to hear how fast they're pressin' forwards in every path civilization has opened; science, art and the best education. And wuz glad to see so many of 'em here. They could give Uncle Sam a good many lessons if he wuz willin' to take 'em. But good as he is he is a heady old creeter, and won't be driv into anything and has a powerful good opinion of himself.

But to resoom forwards. After we'd gone the complete 'round of the Intre Moral Railway and ortemobile we got out agin on the Plaza not fur from where we embarked, and at my request we took a boat. Josiah chose one of the handsomest ones with the front end kinder bowin' up and a bright-colored awnin' over it; they called it a gondola.

The gondolier had bold flashin' black eyes and a gay suit that struck Josiah's fancy, and I knowed by his looks he wuz meditatin' on what Might Have Been. I felt that he wuz in fancy rowin' a boat up our creek in a red coat and green hat with yeller feathers mebby, carryin' sister Submit Tewksbury or sister Gowdey, sailin' towards his own Exposition of St. Josiah. There wuz a sad pensive look on his liniment that belonged to ruined hopes and blighted emotions.

Blandina whispered to me she thought the gondolier a image of beauty and wondered if he had a companion; she said she believed he would be devoted to a wife if he had one that looked up to him.

I answered her like one talkin' onbeknown to herself, two of my eyes and my spectacles furtively watchin' the liniment of my beloved pardner, and my speritual eyes feastin' on the perfect loveliness of the seen. Broad smooth waters how beautiful they were, dotted with craft similar to ourn and freighted with happy voyagers dartin' here and there, and some of the boats wuz the queerest shapes, one on 'em looked jest exactly like a big white swan, and there wuz one, if you'll believe it, that looked like a sea serpent, I wouldn't have rid in it for a dollar bill, though Josiah said he'd love to tell Deacon Henzy that he'd straddled the old sea serpent and rid to sh.o.r.e on it.

But I sez, "Good land, Josiah, you don't ride on the outside on it, there is a place fixed inside somewhere for pa.s.sengers."

But most of the boats wuz handsome. Anon the water lay smooth and fair about us, and fur off we could see immense fountains risin' right up out of the gla.s.sy surface, sprayin' up and glitterin' down floods of rainbow glory.

Agin we landed on terry firmy I a feelin' as if we wuz roamin' through Fancy's fields, for it seemed as if cold Reality never could have planned anything approachin' what wuz all round us. For as you draw nigh the glittering Cascades you fairly stop bewildered by the beauty, and most want to shet your eyes on it, not knowin' what path to choose where all are so bagonin' full of allurements and the hull world seemin' to be allured there by 'em. On one side the glory of the waters dashing, sparkling, bounding along down, with fountains sprayin' up every little while, and white statutes smilin' down on us nigher by. On the other side green verdure and beyond and on every side the glory of the water, and above us the most magnificent buildin' in the world flanked on each side with the long Colonnade of States.

And speakin' of statutes, jest think of the sculptured groups we pa.s.sed by that eventful day, more'n I could describe in a month of Sundays. Louis and Clark, the very men I'd read about in Ga.s.ses Journal, how I wished their eyes could see and their ears hear me. How interested and proud they would have been to hear me tell how even as a child I loved to hear mother Smith read about their journeyin's into the new and onexplored country, findin' swamps and stumps and savages, where now wuz smilin' gardens and palaces. Then there was Robert Livingstone, and Franklin, n.o.ble high souled old creeter, I always loved him in a meetin' house sense, drawin' down lightnin' and so forth-he wuz the very Pa of electricity as you may say.

And James Monroe, and Boone, and Settin' Bull, yes there wuz Settin'

Bull settin' or ruther standin' right in that great company. And all on 'em mute and onafraid, onmindful of the presence of a Samantha and Josiah, I felt to pity 'em.

But the n.o.blest meanin' statute of all in my eyes wuz right in front of the main Cascade. There stood a immense statute of Liberty, raisin' the veil of Ignorance and protectin' Truth and Justice. Ignorance don't want her eyes oncovered, she'd 'drather keep on blind as a bat. But Liberty hain't goin' to mind her, she wuz bound to git the bandages off; I wanted to encourage her in it and I waved my hand towards her and smiled in lovin' greetin'. Josiah thought I wuz flirtin', and asked me anxiously if I'd got sight of any man from Jonesville. I wouldn't dain to reply to him-at my age! and with my reputation to carry round! The idee!

Well, when we stood on the stun balcony over the spot where the central cascade gushes out, what a seen lay spread out before us. You can look off two milds one way and most a mild another. And wuz there ever in the world milds so crowded full of beauty and each beauty differin' from the other as one star differs from another in glory. Eight magnificent palaces are in full sight, their walls bathed by the blue waters, and beyond 'em, interspersed by green foliage, wuz a perfect wilderness of towers, minarets, domes, banners, battlements.

I hain't goin' to describe what I looked down on, for I can't. No, if I had a big book of synonyms to the words Grand and Glorious and used every one on 'em tryin' to describe that seen I couldn't begin to do justice to it, and so what is the use of tryin' with the Jonesville vocabulary.

And if I can't describe it, don't for pity sake ask Josiah Allen to, for you might know that if I couldn't he wouldn't stand no chance. But I hearn him gin a sort of gaspin' sithe as he looked, and Blandina I believe forgot for a few minutes her pa.s.sionate though chaste, overrulin' pa.s.sion.

As magnificent as the hull of St. Louis Exposition is, it naterally has one spot handsomer than the rest, a particular beauty spot as you may say. Why every house has it. The beauty of my parlor kinder branches out, as you may say, from my new rep rocker, a lovely work of art that cost over six dollars. I keep it in the sightliest place, where the eye of man can fall on it at first. And the central beauty spot of the Fair wuz centered in the place I have been talkin' about.

I'd hearn that it wuz some the shape of a fan and we had talked it over between us, whether it would look like my best paper fan I carry to meetin' Sundays, or my big turkey feather fan. But, good land! they dwindled down so in my mind while I stood there that I might be said to never have sot my eyes on a turkey's feather, or a turkey or anything. It is a spectacle that once seen is never forgot.

The central spot, or handle of the fan (in allegory), is occupied by Festival Hall and on either side stretches out the beautiful Collonnade of States with its lovely and heroic female wimmen settin' up there as if sort o' takin' care of the hull concern. I spoke to Blandina about it, how pleased I wuz to see my sect settin' up so high in the place of honor, and she sez:

"Oh, Aunt Samantha, I cannot rejoice with you, it rasps my very soul to see men slighted! What would the world do without men?"

"Well," sez I, wantin' to please her, "men do come handy lots of times. But," sez I reasonably, "the world wouldn't last long if it wuzn't for wimmen." But to resoom.

At each end of the Collonnade, peakin' up a little higher, is a sort of a round shaped buildin', beautiful in structure, where food can be obtained. And knowin' the effect on men of good food I knowed this wuz a sensible idea, for no matter how festivious a man may be, and probably is in Festival Hall, yet his appet.i.te stretches out on both sides on him jest as it wuz depicted here. And female wimmen stand between him and starvation most of the time. I considered the hull thing highly symbolical and loved to see it.

But jest think of a magnificent picture containin' all that is most beautiful in land and water, extendin' in a graceful, curvin' way three thousand feet. Why that's as fur as from our house over the Ebenezer Bobbettses, and I d'no but furder, and every foot and inch of it perfectly beautiful. How much land do you spoze is took up by this central spot of beauty? Now if I should ask sister Sylvester Gowdey, who always thinks she knows everything worth knowin', if I should say, "How much land do you spoze, sister Gowdey, is took up by jest this central beauty spot of the Fair?" I'll bet she'd say, "Mebby half an acre."

But I'd say, "Melissy, it occupies six hundred acres."

I d'no as sister Gowdey would believe me, but it's so, the livin' truth. Why, the three Cascades are three hundred feet long. Beautiful in the daytime as a dream of Paradise! fancy it in the evening when thousands and thousands of colored lights lend their glowin' charm to the seen. Why you almost cover your eyes from the bewilderin' glory on't. And as I said to Josiah, "We shall never see another seen so beautiful till we see Jerusalem the Golden descend before our rapt vision." And he bein' kinder fraxious, sez:

"I hain't seen that yet, nor you nuther."

"By the eye of Faith I have, Josiah."

"Well, tain't no time or place for preachin', we better be gittin' along!"

Right under the main Cascade we went down into a beautiful grotto all lighted up, with one hull side of the room made of fallin' water. I never expected to step into such a place. I have felt perfectly satisfied when I've papered over my dining-room with paper a shillin' a roll, and it did look well. But what wuz it to this? Refreshments are served down there clost to the sparklin' liquid side of the room, and Josiah wantin' to go the hull figure, set down and eat a nut-cake which I gin him.

They say stimulants can be obtained down here. And mebby they can, them that seek can generally find, there wuz a serpent in Paradise; but I didn't see any, I spoze the n.o.ble look on my face would dant any dealer in such pizen from displayin' it to me. And it ain't likely that Josiah with two chaperones would set eyes on any.

CHAPTER VI.

The two side cascades represent the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans. Josiah sez in a kinder patronizing way, "They're likely Cascades, but I can't see in what way they represent oceans."

And I sez, "It hain't for you to know everything, Josiah, you hain't expected to. Such knowledge would be more than you with your small frame could stand up under."

"Oh, keep throwin' my size in my face. It's a pity I hain't a giraffe, then mebby I'd suit you." And he added snappishly, "I'll bet you can't tell yourself how they look like oceans."

And I sez, "I wuz never any hand to tell all I knew, I always thought it wuz best to keep one story back."

But to tell the truth I couldn't see how they represented oceans, only they wuz both water, but so is a teacupful of water, or a spunful. Another way they differed from the ocean, the water hain't there all the time, only once in awhile. Josiah, bent on findin' fault, sez:

"Pretty oceans they be! Dry land most all the time."