"One, no more h.o.m.ophobic comments or jokes, ever. If your friends make them, we speak up. I don't care if it looks suspicious. I won't be around that, and I won't tolerate it. It makes me feel too horrible. Same goes for racism or any other kind of prejudice."

Leah nodded. I think she knew I had a point.

"Two," I said. "I won't disappear or go into hiding. If I'm going to be a part of your life, I want to be a part of your life. That includes spending time with your friends. If you like them, somehow I'll learn to like them. But I won't do the whole relationship-in-hiding thing. I'm not going to disappear into the shadows, not for you, not for anyone, ever again. Agreed?"

"Agreed."

I thought for a second, but realized that I'd said everything I'd come to say.

"Well, then," I said at last. "I think we've effectively completed our negotiations." I tapped my foot. "Now if only we had some way to seal this agreement. Some way to consummate the arrangement."

A smile tugged at Leah's lips. "Yeah, some symbolic 126 gesture."

I flitted closer to the bed. "We could sign some kind of doc.u.ment."

"Too formal," said Leah. "Besides, I don't have any clean paper."

I sat down next to her on the bed. It squeaked. "We could shake hands."

"That's an idea," she said. "I like that it's physical. But I still don't think that's quite right."

"Hmmm." I turned to face her on the bed; the mattress sagged, so we were being drawn together. "Well, what else could we do? How else do people seal these things?" I leaned closer still, until my lips were almost touching hers.

Then they touched.

We kissed.

Before we could get too far, however, Leah suddenly stiffened.

"What?" I said.

"I just realized! Dade, Alexis, and Savannah are on their way over here right now!"

In other words, the terms of our agreement were about to be put to their first test!

127.

CHAPTER NINE.

Dade, Savannah, and Alexis descended upon Leah's bedroom like a herd of elephants-well, bulimic elephants 128 wearing $150 perfumes. Leah's room was once again rem iniscent of a crowded elevator, one I suddenly wished I'd never set foot in. "Hey, Min," said Savannah. By this time, I'd washed off my zombie-goth makeup.

"Hey, guys," I said. Leah's friends made me nervous, but I confess I wasn't getting any weirdness from them now, about my purple hair or being Asian or anything.

"What are you guys up to?" asked Leah.

"It's a Sat.u.r.day night," said Dade. "What else? Pore strips!"

"Pardon me?" I said.

Dade held up a plastic bag from a nearby drugstore. "Pore strips! You know, those little sticky strips that you put on your face, let dry, and rip 'em off, so they suck out your blackheads?"

Leah looked chagrined. "It's kind of a tradition with us."

"Yeah," said Alexis, "and afterward, we tell ghost stories and eat cookie dough ice cream and braid each other's hair!"

"Either that or go out and get stoned," said Savannah.

Everyone laughed. I did too. I concede that Leah's friends could sometimes be funny.

Dade hauled out four boxes of pore strips. The direc tions called for washing our faces prior to application, so 129 that's what we did. Then everyone peeled the backs off and stuck the strips to their cheeks, noses, and foreheads. They smelled clean, like alcohol and paste.

"Now what?" I said.

"Now we wait for them to dry," said Dade.

"And talk," said Savannah. "Usually we play Truth or Dare. Min, you're first."

"Savannah!" said Dade. "Don't be a b.i.t.c.h." To me, she said, "Savannah's just kidding. Well, about the Truth or Dare part, not about the talking part."

I laughed. "It's fine. You can ask whatever you want." It was fine. Leah and I had an agreement. I was determined to be part of her life with her friends, and I wasn't going to tolerate their h.o.m.ophobia. Before this evening was over, I was going to find out if Leah could really accept that. "I heard that Declan McDonnell is starring in that movie you guys are working on," said Dade. "Is that true?"

This was the actor playing Brad. Russel had mentioned that he'd once been on some television show, but I had no idea that anyone else actually knew who he was. "Oh," I said. "Yes, it is."

"G.o.d!" said Alexis. "He's so hot!"

Savannah smacked Leah on the arm. "Why didn't you 130 tell us! I would have done it if I'd known he was in it. Have you seen him?"

"Oh, sure," said Leah. "He's in most of the scenes. But we're not supposed to talk to him."

"What's he like?" asked Savannah.

"I have no idea," I admitted. "I haven't really paid any attention."

"You haven't ?" said Savannah. "Why not?" "I don't know," I said lamely. "I guess he's not really my type."

"Like I said," said Leah, trying to bail me out, "we're not really supposed to talk to the stars."

This was not going well. How was I supposed to spend time with Leah's friends if I couldn't find any common ground?

"What is your type?" Dade asked me.

"Huh?" I said.

"Guys. What kind of guys do you like?"

Leah looked at me. I think she wondered how I was going to answer this particular question. Still, I am bi; I could answer it more or less truthfully.

"Oh, you know," I said with a shrug. "Just guys. Are these supposed to itch?" I meant the strips plastered all over my face.

"Yeah," said Leah. "When it dries, the skin gets all tight.

That means it's working." 131 "No, seriously," said Dade to me. "Sensitive guys? Nah, you'd so scare 'em off. I bet you're into bad boys, right? G.o.d, I love bad boys!"

What was I supposed to say to that? I hated macho jerks and the vapid teenage girls who made them popular. That said, if I started hyperventilating about s.e.xism, Leah's friends were certain to think I was a total freak. If I kept that up, it wouldn't be long until they started asking questions about Leah too.

Right then I realized that there was a big contradiction inherent in my agreement with Leah: I'd said I wouldn't out myself or Leah, but that I wanted to spend time with her and her friends. However, if I did spend time with them, it was only a matter of time before I more or less outed myself.

If I was completely honest about things, that is. I glanced at Leah. She looked genuinely scared, like she'd fallen down a deep well into ice-cold water, and no one except me knew she was there. Would I abandon her at this crucial time?

Wait, I thought: Leah's friends' stopping by was supposed to be a test of Leah, not me. This was ironic.

Finally, I said to Dade, "Well, yes. I like a good bad boy now and then."

"Yeah, I bet," mewed Savannah.

I sighed dreamily-or as dreamily as I know how. "I like it 132 when a guy just, you know, takes charge," I said. "Makes deci sions . I can't stand those wimpy guys that are always staring at you with puppy dog eyes, waiting to see what it is you want." "Oh, G.o.d yeah!" said Savannah. "So milquetoast."

What was I doing? What I was saying went against everything I believed about guys and girls. This was like the end of that movie The Graduate and a million other movies, only in reverse. Rather than stand up and boldly proclaim my love for Leah, d.a.m.n the consequences, I was doing the exact opposite. I was pretending to be a different person completely. This, however, was more or less what I had promised Leah.

"I like a guy with dirty fingernails," I said. "And a light sheen of sweat on his back. All these women who complain about razor burn? I like razor burn! It means a guy's got testosterone. And I like boxers, not briefs, and don't even get me started on bikini briefs. And no hair gel! What is that about? Hair gel is for girls, not guys."

"Amen, sister!" said Dade. "Down with metros.e.xuals."

Leah looked at me. There were tears in her eyes. She knew exactly what I was doing-that in a way I was proclaiming my love for her, just as boldly as the end of The Graduate and all those other movies. No, I wasn't sacrificing everything to do the right thing, like Xena, Warrior Princess.

Then again, I didn't have an evil past to atone for. Even so, 133 I was still making a serious compromise. Leah, meanwhile, was the only person who knew exactly what sacrifice I was making, which is exactly the way it should have been.

"Lousy penmanship!" howled Alexis. "That's a sign that a man is a real animal. I mean, how many gorillas are out there writing novellas?"

"I like a guy with a rumbly voice," said Savannah. "I feel like I can feel it all the way down in my gut."

As her friends fanned the flames that I had lit, I sat down on the bed next to Leah. Because of the saggy springs, our thighs touched again. She didn't look at me, and I didn't look at her, but we both knew what each other was thinking.

It's funny how complicated life can be. The only way to stick to my principles was to not stick to my principles? I never would have predicted this.

"Okay!" Dade announced at last. "It's time for the pore strip stripping!"

"It's going to hurt, isn't it?" I said.

"A little," said Savannah. "But it's like a Band-Aid. The faster you do it, the less it hurts."

"Ready?" said Dade. "Nose strip first!"

"Ready," we all said.

"Pull!"

134 We pulled.

It only hurt a little.

"Compare!" commanded Dade.

"Compare?" I said.

"Blackheads," said Leah, nodding down to her own strip. Little black and brown spikes, like thorns, poked up from the surface of the white plastic. "Oh my G.o.d, you can see them!" I had never used these pore strips before-had never even considered using them-so I'd had no idea how they worked.

Everyone laughed-not at me, but with me, at my obviously sincere amazement.

"Compare!" Dade repeated.

We compared. Savannah "won" with the thickest, dark- est blackheads.

"Oooooooo!" said Dade.

"That is so disgusting," said Alexis.

"I can't believe that all came off of my nose!" wailed Savannah.

"Oh, Savannah, you always say that!" said Leah.

"Ready forehead strips!" announced Dade.

"Now here's where Savannah gets her revenge," said Leah to me. "Alexis always loses the forehead strip."

I pulled, but at the same time I was thinking about all of this. I was engaged in a pore-strip compet.i.tion with a 135 bunch of cheerleading airheads. Never in a million years would I have expected this either. Was life strange or what? The even weirder part is, I was actually having fun.

Afterward, Dade, Savannah, and Alexis wanted to go to a party. Leah and I, however, bowed out. We lied and told them we were going to rendezvous with some boys from Attack of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies.

We went for a drive and ended up on McKenzie Street. It was after nine now, and all the shops had closed.

"That was a very interesting evening," I said to Leah. "Thanks again," she said.

"Hey, a promise is a promise."

When we reached the end of the stretch of shops and cafes on McKenzie Street, Leah pointed down a side road.

"Off into uncharted territory?" she said.

"How appropriate," I said.

In a couple of blocks, we wandered onto the college campus. Most of the lights were off. As we walked through the grounds, I looked around at the darkness. I remembered the night before, when I'd walked through that park to get to Kevin, and how the darkness had reminded me of a black-and-white movie. It still did, but in 136 this light, I suddenly saw shades and textures that I hadn't noticed the night before. The stones in the pavement were almost white. The shadows under the rhododendrons were a deep, dark black. However, everywhere else I looked-the flat expanses of gra.s.s, the trunks of the trees, the ivy-covered brick buildings-I saw a thousand shades of gray.

I reached out and slipped my hand into Leah's. Her hand was big and warm, covering mine like a glove. We pa.s.sed students in the dark, mostly in the distance, but Leah didn't pull away. Of course I was still wearing Leah's jacket, so people may have thought we were a girl and a short guy in an overcoat. I didn't mind. In a way, it somehow seemed like a good compromise.

"Do you think college is really that different from high school?" asked Leah.

"I do," I said. "I think it's completely different." I wasn't sure if this was true, but it felt true at the time.