"He's not here," Daegan said, grabbing a flannel shirt from the back of his couch. He found socks and boots, then donned his jacket and hat. "We'll find him."

"Oh, G.o.d, I hope so."

Without a thought, he grabbed her, held her close, stared down into her worried eyes, and said, "I'll find him, Kate. You can count on it." Then he let her go and was out the back door and whistling for Roscoe.

Footsteps and hoofprints led from the barn. "d.a.m.n it all," he growled, staring at the evidence. "He's taken Buckshot."

"But where?"

"We'll find out," Daegan insisted as he snapped on the lights in the barn. Loco, whinnying in protest, blinked under the harsh single bulb. "Have you called the police?"

"No, I thought, I mean I was sure he was over here. I followed the tracks and then your house was dark and-" Her voice failed her.

Desperation stilled her lungs as they hurried back to the house, where Daegan called the sheriff.

"I'll do what I can," Swanson told Kate once Daegan had connected with him and handed her the receiver. "But it's Christmas Eve and we're short a few hands. I'll put out an APB, but I can't promise anything."

Kate hung up. Her entire body shook and her imagination ran in horrifying circles. "They won't do much."

"Don't really need 'em. Come on."

She was still stunned from finding Houndog whining outside her door and investigating to discover Jon missing, his window open, the b.u.t.t of a fresh cigarette ground into the snow of a gutter. She'd found his tracks and had a.s.sumed that he'd decided to visit his father himself, not wait for her approval, just take the bull by the horns and show up on O'Rourke's doorstep. But he hadn't. Instead he'd stolen a horse in the middle of the night. Why? Why? she wondered. she wondered. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

"We'll take the truck," Daegan said, "for as far as it will make it. After that, it's snowshoes."

"Oh, G.o.d." Where could he be? Where? Where could he be? Where?

"Here." He tossed her the keys. "Start the pickup and warm it up. I'll get some supplies."

"Supplies?" she whispered.

"Just in case."

She didn't ask in case of what and did as she was told, fighting sheer terror as she saw him toss two pairs of snowshoes, a couple lengths of rope, a pick, an axe, a first aid kit, a tarp, a lantern, blankets, and flares into the back of the truck.

"Better safe than sorry." With a little effort he put the truck into four-wheel drive, slid behind the steering column, and followed the horse's tracks through a field adjoining her house to the government property beyond. An old logging road, that had originally been used during the gold rush days, cut through the spa.r.s.e jack and lodge pines dotting the hillside. The night scape seemed eerily serene. Much too quiet.

Grateful for the moonlight that aided the beams of the headlights, Kate stared out the windshield and silently prayed that Jon was safe.

"Why would he do this?" Daegan wondered, casting a glance in her direction.

"I wish I knew."

"You two have a fight?"

She fingered the disintegrating upholstery on the door. "Not really...but, well, as I said, he wanted you to come over tomorrow for Christmas."

"And you didn't," he guessed, his voice edged with bitterness.

"I don't know what I want," she admitted, biting her lower lip. "Funny, isn't it? A few months ago I could tell anyone who asked exactly what I wanted out of life, what I expected, and then...then you came into town, into my life and now...now I can't even figure out what it is I need in life." Sighing, she kept her gaze trained on the underbrush looking for something, anything that would help. "Right now all I care about is Jon."

"That makes two of us." The road was narrow and treacherous, winding along the side of a steep cliff, cutting ever downward toward the river. "Look," he said. "Footsteps joined him."

She saw them, too, the double tracks. Someone was walking with Jon. Her heart froze in fear. Who? Another kidnapper? But why had Jon willingly met him? Maybe he'd decided to meet Jennifer in a secret rendezvous, but why so far away? It was miles to Jennifer's house in town.

"Who would he meet?" Daegan asked.

"Just you...or his girlfriend."

"Girlfriend?"

"Jennifer Caruso, a girl he's liked for a long time, I think."

"Does she wear size thirteens?"

"She's small. Pet.i.te."

Daegan's jaw was so tight, his bone showed through his skin. "From the looks of it, Jon hooked up with a man."

"Oh G.o.d," she whispered, clenching her fists and gnawing at her index finger in frustration.

Rounding a hairpin corner, the truck shimmied a little and Daegan worked the wheel, letting the pickup slide toward the edge, pumping the brakes. "Hang on," he ordered, and Kate could do little else. She closed her eyes as the ravine gaped in front of the nose of the truck. Her heart hammered and she stood on nonexistent brakes. "Come on, you overrated piece of sc.r.a.p metal, hold, d.a.m.n you."

With a groan the truck's wheels caught and again it nosed down the road the right way again. She let out her breath.

So slowly she was sure she was going out of her mind, the truck inched down the mountainside then leveled at the river, where the old bridge had long ago washed away. The water, black and menacing, rushed swiftly through the cliffs, cutting a jagged path. "We'll have to go on foot from here," Daegan said, "though it looks like we're close."

Kate followed his gaze in the darkness. "Buckshot?" Her heart stopped as she recognized Buckshot, rider-less, reins wrapped around the lower branch of a tree.

She jumped out of the truck and approached the animal. "But where's Jon?" Back to the wind, one leg c.o.c.ked, ears flat, the colt stood, only flicking his ears and snorting when Daegan placed a gloved hand on his nose. "Good boy," he said. "Now where's Jon?"

Both sets of footprints headed downstream, and over the rush of the water she heard voices, faint but definite.

Kate dashed forward while Daegan grabbed something from the back of the truck. "Jon!" she yelled.

"Slow down, you don't know what you're going to find," Daegan warned.

She didn't care. She wasn't going to lose her boy again. Slogging through the snow, slipping on rocks near the sh.o.r.e, she ran.

"So much for the element of surprise," Daegan said, catching her and plowing forward as they slipped at a bend in the river and spied their son and his companion. Jon was on the sh.o.r.e, holding a stick, running alongside the river. Someone was in the icy depths, screaming desperately, trying to grab on to Jon's slick, outstretched branch.

"Holy Christ!" Daegan swore.

"Todd," she whispered, sick when she saw his head sink below the rippling surface.

"Hang on, Neider, hang on!" Jon yelled, reaching out a little farther, trying to hold on to the branch of a tree that bent over the river while stretching out farther and farther.

"Wait!" Daegan yelled but it was too late. Todd grabbed hold of the stick. Jon strained under the weight of the heavier boy and the power of the current snapped the branch like a matchstick. Both boys slid into the icy depths, their heads bobbing along with the current, screams reverberating through the dark gorge.

"Jon, no! Hang on!" Kate cried.

Running toward the riverbank, Daegan kicked off his boots and shucked out of his jacket. Then, still sprinting, he wrapped the end of the rope around his fingers.

"Hurry up!" he screamed at her. "And grab the other end!"

"No, what're you going to do?"

He dropped the coil of rope, ran around a tree, and then took off into the water, splashing and yelling at Jon to hang on while the rope uncoiled.

She didn't think, just reached the end of the rope and looped it once more around the trunk of the tree, tying off the end and digging her heels into the snow. Watching in horror, she saw Daegan's head surface and bob, far away from either boy. "Save them," she prayed, wondering how she could ever have doubted him, knowing that she would never love another man as she loved him. "Please, please, save them. Jon!" she cried when he disappeared from view.

Neider crashed into a rock and clung on, sobbing loudly over the current's roar. "You hang on, Todd! We'll get help." But her eyes searched the darkness of the river's frigid depths and she saw no one.

"Help me!" Todd cried, hysteria evident in his voice.

"We will."

"Please, help me!" Dear Lord he was probably half-frozen already, suffering from hypothermia. And Jon, where was Jon? She scanned the deadly water, her heart pounding out a cadence of dread, her mind silently screaming that they had to be safe, they had to be.

"I love you," she whispered into the night. "I love you both."

Was it possible because of her stupid pride that Daegan would never know how much she cared about him, that he'd never live to hear her say the words that now filled her heart and soul?

"Daegan!" she screamed. "Daegan!" And then she saw him, slogging toward her out of the icy depths of the river, carrying Jon in his arms, breathing hard. She cried out and ran forward, her arms outstretched.

"Stop!" Daegan ordered and she froze. "Stay dry, for Christ's sake. Someone's gonna have to drive the d.a.m.ned truck!" At the sh.o.r.eline Jon scrambled to the ground and Daegan ordered him to the truck for blankets, then he turned, and shivering, his wet hair plastered to his face, he walked upstream and dove in again.

"No," she whispered, watching as he let the current carry him toward Todd. Her eyes stayed on him as she removed her jacket and tucked it over her son's shoulders. Daegan swam, gasping, crossing the water's swift current. At last he reached the rock. Then, while the huge boy clung to him, he made his way to the sh.o.r.e.

Kate and Jon, teeth chattering crazily, helped by dragging on the tow line, pulling them forward, easing them to the sh.o.r.e. Once Todd landed on the icy bank, Kate and Daegan helped him up to the truck, with Jon wrapping them both in blankets, seating them in the warming cab.

As Daegan closed the door of the truck to keep in the heat, Kate flung herself at him, kissing his cold skin, holding him tight, ignoring his protests that she'd get wet and freeze.

"Oh, G.o.d, Daegan, don't ever leave me again," she cried, tears of relief drizzling from her eyes. "I love you, I love you, I love you."

He chuckled and coughed, his skin a sick shade of blue. One strong arm held her close. "About time you realized it," he said, pressing frigid lips to her hair.

"Marry me, Daegan O'Rourke," she insisted and his grin slashed white in the darkness. His arms tightened around her.

"You got yourself a deal, lady," he said, shivering, "but do you mind if I warm up first?"

EPILOGUE.

The wind swept low over the Montana hillside and Kate stood on her front porch, eyeing the horizon, waiting for two riders. Snow lay in patches on the ground, but the scent of spring was in the air and a few early buds were visible on the fruit trees.

She and Daegan had moved in January after a quick wedding and a long discussion with the administrators of the college in Bend. It had been time for a new start, Kate thought, and time to leave the little town that knew too much about her and her son-their son. She'd even sold her house.

After Jon had saved Todd Neider's life, Todd had been less than grateful. He'd been running away from his father and blamed Jon and Daegan for making him face the music as well as his old man again. But he'd been moved to foster care, and Carl Neider had promised the social worker he'd change his ways and quit drinking, join AA, and stop beating his son. No one, least of all Todd, believed that was possible.

The Sullivans, according to Sandy, were keeping quiet. Frank was charged in Stuart's death, Robert refused to speak to his brother, Alicia was getting a divorce, and Collin, recovering slowly, was attempting to reconcile with his wife. But there seemed to be an unwritten law that they would never again bother Daegan or his small family.

Neils VanHorn hadn't fared quite as well. His trial for the kidnapping of Jon Summers was still pending. Legal experts were arguing on the legality of the first adoption and the manner in which Jon was to be "returned" to the Sullivan family. Meanwhile, the Boston media kept citing VanHorn as he insisted that both Alicia Sullivan McGivens and Robert Sullivan had been accomplices in the abduction and kidnapping. Time would tell. His family had given depositions and Daegan had been a.s.sured that everything possible would be done to avoid disrupting Jon's new life if they needed him to testify in court.

Kate had been working on reconciling Daegan with his mother, now that Frank was out of the picture, and had talked to Mary Ellen several times on the phone as well as having persuaded Daegan to speak with her on multiple occasions. They had all made plans for Mary Ellen to come out to Montana to visit them so Jon could meet his grandmother, and she and Daegan could see each other.

Since Christmas Eve when he'd awoke seeing a vision of Todd drowning, Jon hadn't had any more visions-or at least none that he talked about. He seemed well adjusted here, catching movies with his friends, spending time after school with his father.

His father. The thought that Daegan was Jon's father warmed her heart. The thought that Daegan was Jon's father warmed her heart.

She spied them riding over the ridge, two tall men on lanky horses. Waving frantically, she heard Jon's whoop and then watched as the two beasts took off at a hard gallop and tore past the barn to slide to a stop just before reaching the fence. It was the regular evening ritual, the race between father and son.

"We'll be there in a second," Daegan called to her and her heart thrilled at the sound of his voice. Her husband, the man she'd eloped with on Christmas Day. Absently she rubbed her abdomen and walked back to the kitchen, where the table was set. In the center of the table was Jon's birthday cake-three glorious layers of chocolate with dark fudge frosting that proudly supported sixteen, as yet unlit, candles.

The coffee had just brewed when she heard their boots on the back porch and the sound of old pipes creaking as they washed their hands. Within seconds, in stocking feet, they walked into the kitchen and warmed their hands by the woodstove.

"Find any strays?" she asked.

"Nope," Daegan replied and his gaze touched hers in a way that made the pulse at her throat leap in antic.i.p.ation.

"Naw, but we fixed the fence." Jon rolled his eyes as he sat at the table and eyed the chocolate cake. When he thought his mother's back was turned, he scooped a finger full of the icing and plopped it into his mouth.

"I saw that."

"Yeah, because you've got eyes in the back of your head."

Daegan winked at his son and nabbed a smidgen of frosting on his finger. "Like father, like son," she said as she poured two cups of coffee and a gla.s.s of milk.

"Don't we have to eat dinner first?" Daegan asked.

She shook her head. "Jon and I have always thought birthday cake should be eaten when you're hungry. We'll have dinner in an hour or so. Okay?" She struck a match and lit all sixteen candles. They blazed brightly in the cozy little kitchen.

"Before you blow them out," she said, "we have a couple of things for you."

Jon grinned. "A new car! A Fiat, or a kickin' truck or a Corvette or-"

"In your dreams," his mother said with a laugh.

"Not quite a Corvette, but transportation." Daegan reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and handed his boy an envelope.

"What's this?" Jon asked, opening the folded white paper and scowling as he read.