Jan could hear the rush of her own breathing, but beyond that was silence. Trevor seemed to be motionless behind her; the other two men also stood still. The Colonel, however, seemed annoyed and not the least bit concerned.

"Girl, you are making a fatal mistake. There are three guns to your one. The second you shoot me, you're dead. Is that what you want?"

"I'd prefer that to being tied up in this h.e.l.lhole again."

He looked at her for a moment and then turned his head to Martin.

"Shoot her," he said Jan heard Martin raise his rifle as she locked her hands in place to fire. A shot cracked out of the woods from the direction of the armory, and Martin went down. The other two soldiers swung their rifles toward the armory and opened fire and they quickly went down with two more shots from the woods. Jan kept her pistol trained on the Colonel and looked to see if the soldiers were moving. The Colonel drew his own pistol as she looked away.

"Don't do it, Colonel. There are two guns to your one. Now it's you who'll be making a fatal mistake."

"Don't you think I know that?" he said as he c.o.c.ked his old revolver.

Another shot rang out from the woods and the Colonel fell to the ground, giving Jan a clear view of the bullet hole in the back of his head. Jan swept the area with her gun in both hands as Catherine raced into the clearing and pulled the rifles away from the two soldiers on the ground.

"They're alive," she said, moving over to Martin to take his weapon as well. "He's dead."

Jan heard Maddy crying behind her and looked to see them both staring wild-eyed at them. She moved quickly toward them.

"We've got to get out of here quickly," she said. "The other men will be on their way."

She and Catherine tried to open the stocks and found it shackled shut. Catherine reached into first the Colonel's and then Martin's pants pockets to find the key.

"Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ," Kristi was saying. She seemed catatonic.

Catherine came up with the key and as she unlocked the stocks, Jan went to the cook tent and called in through the closed door.

"Do not come out," she said as forcefully as she could. "Your children are not safe. Wait until your men return and let you out. Do you understand?"

She heard some children crying in there and then a woman's voice saying they understood. It would have to do. She raced back to the stocks and helped Catherine with Maddy and Kristi, each holding them up by an arm. Maddy was especially wobbly.

"Where to?" Catherine said.

"There's only one way. Let's head east. There should be a car about half a mile that way. They used to leave the key in the front seat. I don't know if they still do that."

"They probably do. The armory was unlocked. Nice selection of rifles in there," Catherine said. "Anyway, if the key's not there, I can start the car. It's not a problem."

"Nice shooting, by the way. I guess I owe you one."

"Believe me, I'll be happy to collect. Perhaps a bit later though?"

They hustled back into the woods. Jan didn't look back at her father.

Chapter Twelve.

Vivian brought a thermos of coffee into the conference room and poured them each a cup. This was almost unheard of behavior for her, but even Vivian had been a little in awe of Jan and Catherine since their return the day before from Idaho. They were cautious, solicitous. Everyone acted like they were strangers. Jan hated it. She watched as Vivian slipped out the door and closed it behind her.

"It's a bit like they think we'll pull a gun on them," Catherine said.

"No one's had to so much as draw a weapon in all the years I've been here. I suppose they're a little freaked out."

"Not the ex-police, surely."

"No, not them. Though Peet was shocked. It's not like the police are in that many shootouts themselves."

Catherine scrolled through e-mails on her laptop and stopped to read one. Jan watched as her normally relaxed expression turned to alarm.

"What is it?" Jan asked.

"The home office. They're ordering me back to London."

Jan sat up straight. "But why? You still have at least a week here."

"Apparently, they're not happy that I've killed two people during a field a.s.signment when I was supposed to be here in the office." She shrugged.

"f.u.c.k." Jan sprang from her chair and began pacing. "Is there anything you can do?"

"I don't think so. They already have someone on their way here to replace me."

Catherine was leaning back in her chair, her face relaxed again, but her eyes looking far away. She didn't seem to notice Jan's agitation.

There was a quick knock on the door before LJ came in, looking unusually somber.

"Jan, would you give us a moment?" he said.

Jan met Catherine's eyes and waited for her to nod before walking out of the room. She moved quickly past Vivian, anxious to get back to her desk without talking to anyone. Peet was hanging up her phone as Jan sat down and started to close down her computer. She felt on the verge of panic.

"What are you doing?" Peet said.

"Getting the h.e.l.l out of here."

Peet watched for a moment as Jan stuffed her things into her bag. "That was Mrs. Harrington on the phone. She said they have Maddy in therapy, but that she seems to be okay. Except for the broken jaw that is."

"Yeah, she seemed okay when I talked to her. She's a tough kid."

"I talked to her too. She's got a thing for you. She kept asking about you, wanting to know all about you. I should have just said that no one knows all about you. It's a state secret or something."

"Funny." Yet now there was someone who knew everything about her. Jan never believed that would or could happen.

"Maddy thinks you're a hero. She wants to thank you in person."

"It's Catherine she should be thanking. But she'll have to do it quickly. The London office is sending her home."

"What? When?"

"Immediately. That's all I know. LJ is in with her now."

Peet sighed and stared at Jan some more. "When you're on the job, you have to go see a shrink after you're involved in a shooting. Maybe you should do the same."

Jan glared at her. "I didn't shoot anyone."

"It's really the same as. I think so, anyway. You're having a tsunami of stress right now."

"I'm fine"

"This thing with Catherine only adds to it. That's all I'm saying."

"I'm fine. And that's all I'm saying." As far as the events in Idaho, Jan did feel fine. If she felt anything about it at all, it was relief. But she was suspicious of how muted her reaction was. The last thing she wanted was a shrink poking away at her.

All of that paled compared to what losing Catherine would do to her. She knew that once Catherine left, whatever feelings she had for Jan in Chicago would evaporate quickly in London. The distance would kill the very tenuous beginning of whatever it was they had. She'd been counting on their remaining time together to try to figure out where they were going and how they were going to get there. Catherine seemed unfazed by her orders to return to London.

"Too bad the Idaho prosecutor didn't press charges against Catherine," Peet said. "Then she wouldn't have been able to leave." Peet was like a f.u.c.king mind reader.

Jan's phone rang.

"It's me," Catherine said.

"I know."

"Can you come back to me?"

Jan hesitated.

"Jan, I need you. Please."

Jan marched back across the office and saw that the blinds in the conference room were drawn. She looked at Vivian.

"She's in there. Alone," Vivian said.

Jan knocked and found Catherine pouring more coffee.

"Another cup?"

Jan nodded. She tried for some of the nonchalance Catherine seemed to always have at her fingertips. She felt in danger of crying as Catherine came around the table with the thermos and poured into Jan's cup, standing inches from her.

"What was that about with LJ?" Jan said. Her voice sounded harsh, as if she were accusing them of having an affair.

"He was very excited to tell me that he's been put in charge until my replacement arrives. I was just going to pack up my things and head to the hotel."

Catherine seemed very cheery, a dispiriting contrast to her own misery. Didn't she care that they had to part?

"I won't keep you then," Jan said. She tried to keep her tone neutral, but she could hear the sadness in her voice. It didn't sound very attractive. It sounded needy. How had she gone from someone who pushed people away to one who wanted to attach this woman to her hip? She felt clueless about how to find the middle ground most people seemed to operate in. She was exhausted by her own extremes. Instead of walking out the door as she'd planned, she sat down and motioned for Catherine to sit next to her. Catherine reached for Jan's hand.

"Talk to me," Catherine said.

Jan looked up and sideways and then down, finally resting her eyes on Catherine's "I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"I'm scared that you're leaving and I'm scared I'm telling you that it scares me. I'm f.u.c.ked up."

Catherine laughed and leaned over to kiss her. "No, you're beautiful. And the bravest person I know."

Jan was horrified as a tear started in her eye. Her throat felt under attack as it tried to control an upswell of emotion. She was about to cry and she fought desperately to beat it back. Catherine rubbed her thumb along the top of her hand.

"It would be horrible to leave now with so much left unsaid between us." Catherine got up and moved to Jan's lap, holding her head to her breast. "I won't let that happen."

"But you don't have a choice."

"I quit. That's my choice."

Jan moved her head away and looked up at Catherine in shock. "You quit?"

"I just sent the e-mail and I feel absolutely fantastic. Should have done it long ago."

"You shouldn't have done that for me."

"Darling, I did it for me. If there's one thing I've sworn to change in my post-Ellen years, it's to live my own life, not someone else's. Not even yours."

"I don't know what to think," Jan said.

Catherine leaned down to kiss her, a slow, gentle, inviting kiss. When their lips parted, she whispered in Jan's ear. "Come to my hotel. We'll think it through together."

"If I come to your hotel, I don't think we'll be doing much thinking."

"Exactly. We have time to figure this out. Let's just see."

As they kissed again, Vivian opened the door and stuck her head in. "Christ. Will you two please get a room?"

"We were just about to," Jan said.

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