"Were you . . ." Dare paused.

"Were we what? Friends? Yeah, after we established that me working for him didn't mean belonging to him." Those first few years had been nothing short of chaos, filled with power plays and tiny battles that never quite escalated into war. "Lovers? Yeah, that, too. At first it was because I needed to pay my debts, and then it was because he cared about me. Or seemed to, anyway." Our relationship-if you wanted to call it that-ended the night I came into the room we sometimes shared and found him f.u.c.king Julie like it was an Olympic sport. s.e.x for payment was one thing. s.e.x with my friends was another. I took Connor up on his offer of dinner the very next day. "He bought me, the same way he probably bought you. I needed a place to go, and Home was that place, at least for a while."

Dare's cheeks reddened, embarra.s.sment betraying her age. "Oh."

The s.e.x. People always focused on the s.e.x. "You know the rules," I said, more gruffly than I intended. Memory does that to me: that's part of why I don't like it very much.

But Dare didn't deserve that. Softening my tone, I said, "If you don't like the way it works here, get off the street. Find yourself someplace else to go."

"I'm trying," she said, so softly that I almost missed it. Then she looked up again, eyes pleading as she asked, "How did you get away?"

I blinked at her. "He's not holding you captive."

"If you think that, you got stupid." She shook her head. "We came here because no place else would take us when our momma died. They all said go away, come back when you're older, when you know better, when you've learned. Only no one wants to teach us how to be older, or how to know better-not even Devin. They just teach us how to be broken."

"Dare . . ."

"Devin's not so bad. He knows the deal, but-it's like you said. There're always costs."

"What are you asking me for?"

"You got out." Dare looked at me. "We all know about you, because he talks about you all the time. Even when he thought you were dead, he kept talking about you. We've heard about everything you've ever done, because you're the one that got away-you're the one that was his, and stopped belonging to him. And I want to know how you did it. Because we're gonna do it, too."

She was serious. I stared at her. d.a.m.n. Finally, quietly, I said, "I'll do what I can to help you. If there's anything I can do. Believe me. There's no right way to do it . . . but it can be done, and if I can help you, I will."

The look she gave me was radiant, full of grat.i.tude and awe. I winced, trying to keep my dismay from showing on my face. The lingering taste of roses helped-it gave me something that I could focus on other than the look in her eyes. I've never liked being looked at like I was a hero. I always wind up letting someone down. Sometimes I get lucky. Sometimes the only person who gets hurt is me.

TWENTY.

DEVIN LOOKED UP WHEN his door opened and smiled. He was alone-Manuel had vanished on some unknown errand-and his expression was somewhere between smug and exhausted. Smug was winning. It probably had seniority. "I see Dare found you."

"I hadn't gone far," I said. "I got sort of distracted by my reflection." Dare slipped in behind me, finding a place along the wall.

"Surprise."

"Yeah. Big surprise." I shook my head. "What did you do?"

"It was bad, Toby." He walked over to me, expression grave. There were shadows lurking in his eyes, making it plain that the past few days had used him almost as hard as they'd used me. "We didn't think you were going to make it. I I didn't think you were going to make it." didn't think you were going to make it."

"So what did you do?"

"I fixed it."

"Devin, half those wounds were made with iron. You don't have any charms that strong." I didn't think there were charms that strong anywhere in the world.

He shrugged, trying to look unconcerned as he reached for my hands. I pulled them away. "I called in some favors. That's all."

"Who could possibly have owed you enough that they'd cure iron poisoning just because you asked them to?" And who could possibly have had that much power? power? I was intruding on his personal matters. That was unforgivably rude of me, but it had to be done, because I had to know what his actions were going to cost. I had to know if it was more than I could pay. I was intruding on his personal matters. That was unforgivably rude of me, but it had to be done, because I had to know what his actions were going to cost. I had to know if it was more than I could pay.

Devin reached for my hands again. This time I let him take them. "The Luidaeg."

Dare gasped.

"What?" I stared at him. I'd been expecting him to say something I didn't want to hear, but this went beyond my worst imaginings. "You went to her? her?"

"She owed me for past favors. I collected on the debt."

"Devin, that's insane! You-she's a monster, she's practically a demon! She's-"

"Not in my debt anymore," he finished. "That was worth a lot more to her than your life. She doesn't like debts. She was so relieved when I said we were square that I'm surprised she didn't make you ten years younger and give you a dinette set when she finished healing you."

"So you ransomed my life from the Luidaeg? Luidaeg?" I still couldn't believe it. Maybe I didn't want to.

Devin looked past me, seeming to see Dare for the first time. "You're excused. Wait in the front until I call with new orders."

Dare looked surprised, then nodded, replying, "Yes, sir," before she turned and skittered out of the room. I turned to watch her go.

"Toby."

Devin released my hands when I looked back toward him, taking hold of the sides of my face instead, and kissing me deeply. I caught hold of his wrists, returning the kiss for a few seconds before I pulled his hands away. Heart pounding and breath short, I managed, "You shouldn't have done that. You shouldn't have gone to her."

"I had to."

"What's it going to cost me?"

"It's a gift."

"A gift."

Hearing the disbelief in my tone, Devin frowned. "Yes, a gift. Is that so hard to believe?"

This time, when he kissed me, I resisted less, letting him pull me close before I broke away and said, "You've never given away anything in your life. Everything goes on someone's bill."

"Things change." He kissed the side of my jaw. "People change. I've changed."

"That much?"

"Maybe," he said, and pulled back enough to look at me. There was something in his eyes I couldn't identify, some weird blend of love and fear and gnawing need. "I thought you were dead, Toby. Do you understand that? Have you fully grasped how close you came? I don't think you have."

"Devin . . ."

"You'd almost stopped bleeding by the time they brought you here, because you had no blood left to lose. You were leaving me. You were leaving me again, and this time, you weren't coming back. There was no way I was letting that happen, Toby. Not if there was something I could do to stop it." He almost smiled, stroking his fingers down the sides of my face. "I couldn't let you leave me yet. You just came Home."

If I'd actually lost that much blood, he was probably right. Nothing short of divine intervention could have saved me. "So you went to the Luidaeg," I said, again. If I said it enough times, maybe his reply would change.

"I did. And I'd do it again."

"Devin, I . . ."

"Don't." We'd been careful before, both of us aware of my injuries and how poor my condition really was. There was no caution now, as he abandoned all efforts at gentleness, pulled me close, and kissed me hard. When he broke away, he whispered, "Just don't. You can't thank me and I wouldn't let you if you tried, so let's leave it at this: I won't let you die. I'm not finished with you. You have something I need too much for that."

His hands were sliding lower and lower on my sides, now cupping the curve of my hips. I put my own hands over them, and shook my head. "There isn't time for this, Devin," I said, regret coloring my voice. "I have to call Sylvester and let him know that I'm all right, and then I need to go. It's not finished."

"You don't need to call Sylvester," said Devin, with a little smile. "I'm not entirely thoughtless. I called him while you were still recovering."

I blinked. "You did?"

"Yes. Which he promptly rewarded by accusing me of being the one who got you injured in the first place." Devin's smile turned wry. "He doesn't care for me much, does he?"

That sounded like Sylvester. I relaxed, shrugging. "He thinks you'll lure me away from him."

Devin raised an eyebrow. "And will I?"

"The possibility exists. For now . . . where, exactly, are my clothes?"

"Your closet? That seems like a reasonable location."

"You brought me here without bringing anything for me to wear?"

"The kids were a little too busy keeping you alive to stop for dainties, Toby. Besides, that nightgown looks good on you."

"It makes me look like an underpaid hooker."

Smirking, Devin said, "Well, as I was saying . . ."

"Devin!" I stepped backward, out of his hands, and shook my head. "Is there anything else else I can wear? I'm not going out dressed like this." I can wear? I'm not going out dressed like this."

"As I've failed to convince you not to go out at all, I suppose I'll have to provide a.s.sistance." Devin walked over to his desk, pressing the b.u.t.ton for the intercom. "Dare, get Ms. Daye's things and bring them to my office." He looked back to me as he released the b.u.t.ton. "I'm afraid that puts an end to our privacy. She'll be here quickly. Kids are always in such a hurry."

"Well, you do teach us that we should never slow down if we can help it."

"Can you blame me? Changeling years are short ones." He spread his hands. "We have to use them wisely, while we still can."

"I guess." I paused, looking at him. "I always thought it was a lot of time. I mean, we can live for centuries. If we don't go around getting shot at, anyway."

"It may be a lot of time, but it's short time." He leaned back against his desk, offering me his arm. I walked over, leaning up against him, letting him wrap that arm around my waist. "It's very short time. It runs out."

I tilted my head back, still watching him. "So you teach us how to use it up?"

"Better than watching it dwindle. We have to burn brightly. We can't burn forever."

I frowned. "Now you're starting to worry me."

"Don't be worried; there's nothing to worry about." He pressed a kiss to my forehead. "You have a job to do, don't you? Have you found any leads?"

"Rayseline Torquill. She laughed."

"What?"

"It's not important." I shook my head. "It wasn't Simon, or Oleander, convenient as that would be; I'd know their work anywhere, and this wasn't it. The Queen didn't react rationally to the news, so it could have been someone at her Court." I paused. "And it wasn't wasn't Blind Michael." Blind Michael."

"How do you know that?"

"There was a body."

Devin grimaced. "Where are you going to go next?"

The taste of roses clung to my tongue like sugar, giving me all the direction I needed. "Goldengreen."

He blinked. "Evening's knowe?"

"There may be answers there."

"Isn't that dangerous?"

"At this point anything I do is going to be dangerous. Whoever started this has already tried to kill me twice. I can't exactly stop now." I paused. "They killed a man. One of Lily's. He was just a kid, and now he's dead, and I couldn't save him."

"I know about Ross," he said. There was an odd blankness in his eyes. Before I could really consider what it meant, he continued, "You're taking Manuel and Dare."

That was enough to shock me into protest, forgetting about the look on his face. "What? No way! They'd just be in the way. No."

"You came to me for help, and that's what I'm giving you. They're going with you."

"Devin, this is-"

"You're paying me to help you, remember?" There was a sudden, brittle edge to his voice. I froze, eyes going wide.

"Devin . . ."

"Answer the question."

"You know I am."

"Then let me do my job. They're going with you." He pulled his arm away from my waist. "I'm not letting you out of here alone. Not after what's happened already."

"I'm not responsible if they get hurt."

"Of course not."

"I don't like this."