"If Aunt--"

"Don't call her your aunt, Caroline,--I forbid it; she is no sister of mine; she has been the evil genius of our family all her life long.

But for her and her wiles I had never been married to your father!

Just fancy what a position you might have had now, but for that cruel mishap."

The problem, to judge from Miss Kennyf.e.c.k's face, seemed difficult to solve; but she prudently held her peace.

"You may rest a.s.sured they know it all below stairs. That odious Lady Janet has told it in every dressing-room already."

"And Linton, mamma," said Caroline, whose sisterly feelings were merged in most impartial justice,--"only fancy Linton imitating Aunt f.a.n.n.y's benediction with uplifted hands and eyes. I almost think I see him before me, and hear the insolent shouts of laughter on every side."

"Give me the aromatic vinegar!" cried Mrs. Kennyf.e.c.k, with an accent like suffocation.

"I think there 's some one at the door. Come in," cried Miss Kennyf.e.c.k; and a very smartly dressed groom entered with a note.

"Is there any answer to this?" said Mrs. Kennyf.e.c.k, listlessly, who thought it one of the habitual invitations to some excursion in a carriage or on horseback.

"Yes, my Lady," said the servant, bowing.

The t.i.tle sounded pleasantly, and Mrs. K.'s features relaxed as she broke the seal.

Ah, Mrs. Kennyf.e.c.k, indolently and carelessly as you hold that small epistle in your fingers, it cost him who wrote it many a puzzling thought, and many a fair sheet of foolscap. Critics a.s.sure us that style is no criterion of the labor of composition, and that Johnson's rounded periods ran flippantly off the pen, while the seemingly careless sentences of Rousseau cost days and nights of toil. The note was from Sir Harvey Upton, and neither by its caligraphy nor grammar shed l.u.s.tre on the literary genius of his corps. It went thus:--

My dear Madam,--The beauty and fascinations of your daughters--but more especially of the second--have conspired to inspire me with sentiments of respectful admiration, which may speedily become something warmer should I obtain the gratifying sensation of your approbation.

Family, fortune, and future expectations, will I fancy, be found "all right."

Part of the estate entailed on the baronetcy; enc.u.mbrances, a trifle.

I am, waiting your reply, dear madam, Very respectfully yours,

Harvey Upton,

----Hussars.

"Shall we write, Cary?" whispered Mrs. Kennyf.e.c.k, in the very faintest of tones.

"Better not, mamma; a verbal 'happy to see Sir Harvey,' safer," was the answer.

Mrs. Kennyf.e.c.k yielded to the sager counsel, and the servant departed with the message.

"We may leave the matter entirely with Livy, mamma," said her sister, half sarcastically; "I opine that innocence, upon the present occasion, will carry the day."

"I am glad of it," said Mrs. Kennyf.e.c.k; "I am fatigued and out of spirits: I 'd rather not receive visitors."

"A white frock and a little sentiment,--a sprig of jessamine and a bit of poetry!" said Miss K., as she arranged her hair at the gla.s.s; "only don't overdo it, Livy."

"I 'd much rather you 'd not go!" said Olivia, languidly.

"Of course, my dear, we are perfectly aware of that; but we have our duties also. Mamma must take care that Aunt f.a.n.n.y does not 'give you away' before you 're asked for; and I must see what the result of papa's interview with Cashel may be, lest you should make a bad market while a good bid is being offered."

"Clever creature!" murmured Mrs. Kennyf.e.c.k, as she rose to leave the room.

"It will seem so odd, mamma, that I'm to receive him, alone!"

"Not at all, Livy; we are packing up to go off: there are the trunks and cap-cases all strewn about. You can be engaged with Frances, and send her to summon us when Sir Harvey comes," said Miss Kennyf.e.c.k.

"Just so, my dear; and then you 'll entreat of him to sit down,--all as if you had heard nothing of his note; you 'll be quite lively and natural in your manner."

"Ah, mamma, remember what Talleyrand said to the Emperor: 'Give me the instructions, sire, but leave the knavery to myself.' My sweet sister is quite diplomatic enough to re-echo it."

Livy looked reproachfully at her, but said nothing.

"If I discover, my dear, that the high prize is on your ticket, I 'll wear a handkerchief round my neck. Without you see this emblem, don't discard your baronet."

"Mamma, is this quite fair?" said Olivia. "Cary speaks as if my heart had no possible concern in the matter."

"Quite the reverse, my dear; but bear in mind that you have only one heart, and it would not be altogether discreet to give it away to two parties. Cary is always right, my love, in morals as in everything else!"

"And how am I to behave, mamma," said Olivia, with more courage than before, "if I am neither to refuse nor accept Sir Harvey's proposals?"

"Did you never flirt, Livy dearest? Doesn't every partner with whom you dance twice of the same evening make advances that are neither repelled nor received? The silliest boarding-school miss that ever blushed before her Italian teacher knows how to treat such difficulties, if they deserve the name. But we are delaying too long. Mamma! to your post, while I, in the library, establish a strict blockade over papa."

With these words Miss Kennyf.e.c.k waved her hand affectedly in adieu, and led her mother from the room; while Olivia, after a second's pause, arose and arrayed more smoothly the silky tresses of her hair before the gla.s.s.

We have once already, in this veracious narrative, been ungallant enough to peep at this young lady, and coolly watch her strategy before the enemy. We will not repeat the offence, nor linger to mark how, as she walked the room, she stopped from time to time before the mirror to gaze on charms which expectancy had already heightened; in fact, we will quit the chamber with Mrs. Kennyf.e.c.k and her elder daughter, and as the choice is permitted which to follow, we select the latter.

"Here 's Miss Kennyf.e.c.k, by Jove!" cried Jennings, as she crossed the hall. "We have all been dying to see you; pray come here and give us your counsel." And he led her into a small drawing-room, where, around a table covered with prints and colored drawings of costume, a considerable number of the guests were a.s.sembled.

"For mercy's sake, nothing out of the Waverley novels!" said the blond lady. "I am wearied of seeing the Jewess Rebecca wherever I go."

"Well, I'll be Diana Vernon, I know that," said Miss Meek; "you may all choose how you please."

"But you can't be, my love, if we have the 'Midsummer Night's Dream,'"

said Mrs. White.

"Why can't I, if Charley takes...o...b..ldiston?" said she.

"Because they are not characters of the piece."

"n.o.body cares for character in a masquerade!" said Linton.

"Or if they have any, they put a mask over it," said Lady Janet

"I vote that we are all Tyrolese peasanths," lisped the fat and dumpy Mrs. Malone. "It's a most picthuresque costhume."

"What will you be, Sir Andrew?" cried another, as the old general pa.s.sed the door in a dog-trot, with Flint behind him.

"By me saul! I thenk I'll be the Wanderin' Jew!" cried he, wiping the perspiration off his forehead.