"That's what I was afraid of," I whispered to Hector, turned my back to him and faced the room. Hector's arm went around my chest and he pulled my back to his front and I was glad. His body was warm, hard and strong and I had a feeling I was going to need it.

Malcolm asked my preference then brought me a cup of coffee.

"All right, sock it to me," I said to the room after Malcolm handed me my coffee.

"After breakfast," Blanca decreed.

For some bizarre reason (lack of sleep, a latent bent toward danger), I decided to go head-to-head with Blanca.

"I'm sorry, Blanca, but seriously, whatever it is, I'd rather get it over with."

She gave me a good, long, Blanca stare.

I gave her a good, long Sadie stare.

This lasted awhile.

Then she said, whirling the bacon fork in the air, "Como quieras."

I had no idea if I won or lost so I twisted my neck and looked up at Hector.

"What'd she say?" I whispered.

"As you wish," he answered, his lips twitching.

I turned back to Blanca. "Oh. That's pretty. Como quieras. As you wish. Nice."

Blanca smiled, I felt Hector's body move with laughter, Vance was grinning his arrogant grin at me and everyone else was chuckling.

I twisted back to Hector. "Did I say something funny?"

He burst out laughing.

Apparently, I did.

Whatever.

It was time to get back to the matter at hand.

I looked back at the room. "Can we please focus, people?" I asked.

The smiles and chuckles died away and immediately I wanted them back.

Too late because Tom started talking.

"Sadie, you remember a few days ago when we talked in Lee's office?"

Oh my.

This was not starting out well.

Of course I remembered. How could I forget? It was when I found out my mother was probably murdered. Who would forget that?

"Yes," I replied hesitantly.

"Well," Tom went on. "Eddie asked Vance to look into things. Vance did and he found out what happened to Lizzie."

My body lurched and a hand went out to Hector's knee, fingers curling around it, gripping hard. Hector's arm around my chest squeezed.

I looked at Vance.

"I'm sorry, Sadie," Vance said softly and I knew I wasn't going to get good news. Mom wasn't waiting for me in a small agricultural village in the mountains of Peru where news was brought on foot through treacherous mountain paths so she didn't know yet it was safe to come home.

I closed my eyes and on the backs of my eyelids I saw my Mom smiling at me.

I opened my eyes again and said to Vance, "Tell me."

Vance's gaze cut to Hector, came back to me and, without hesitating, he told me.

"Luther Diggs found out what your Mom was doin'. He ordered the hit. Mickey Balducci was one of his men back then. He carried it out."

This hurt, like, loads.

I didn't let it show.

"Where is she?" I asked and I was proud that my voice only held a little tremor.

Vance stared at me closely then said carefully, "You mean her body?"

That hurt even more.

Her body.

My Mom's body.

Dumped somewhere, in a river, in a shallow grave, alone, unmarked, undiscovered, gone.

These thoughts penetrated my heart like a million little, sharp daggers.

I didn't let this show either.

Instead, I simply nodded.

His eyes stayed gentle on me. "I don't know."

I nodded again.

"Your Dad didn't know she was informing on him," Malcolm cut in and my gaze moved to him.

"He didn't?"

Malcolm shook his head. "No."

"A couple of months after it happened, word got to Seth that Luther ordered the hit and why." Tom entered the conversation. "You remember Bernie Watson?"

I nodded yet again. Bernie had been my father's right hand man for years. He'd been around for as long as I could remember. Old enough to be my father's father, he retired to Florida five years ago. He'd always scared me a little but I still always kind of liked him. We sent each other Christmas cards and he always sent me a birthday card, every year, with a five dollar bill in it just like he gave me when I was a kid.

"I remember Bernie. He sends me birthday cards," I told Tom.

"I talked to Bernie," Vance said to me and I looked back to him. "Bernie had a lot to say. About your Dad, about your Mom. About how your Dad didn't give a shit about your Mom informing on him but he did give a shit that she'd been taken out. Bernie told me when he found out, your Dad went cold. That was his word. Cold. He started takeover maneuvers against Diggs immediately. Took him down within ten months of finding out."

I realized I'd started trembling only when Hector's hand came out and took my coffee cup away. Then he leaned into me, his hands going down my arms, his fingers curling around my wrists then he wrapped both my and his arms around my body and rested his chin on my shoulder.

This should have helped. Somewhere deep I realized it felt nice. But it didn't help.

"He took care of Mickey Balducci too, didn't he?" I whispered. "The Balducci Boys aren't insane and mean, they were after revenge, weren't they?"

Vance didn't say anything, he just nodded.

I twisted my head to look at Hector, his chin came away from my shoulder and his eyes caught mine.

"I don't know what to do with this," I said softly.

"Nothin' to do with it, Sadie, except know he loved her, he avenged her and he didn't kill her," Hector told me.

"I don't know what to do with that, either," I said back.

"Seth didn't come over with your Mom. He wasn't social." Malcolm started talking and my eyes moved from Hector to Malcolm. "But we knew him, sometimes he'd come out to dinner or pick Lizzie up from a barbeque and stay for a beer. He wasn't a mellow guy, he wasn't laidback, but he wasn't the man he is now, not back then. Losin' her did that to him. I thought it then, I'm sure of it now."

I didn't have time to process that before Vance spoke again.

"I found her stuff."

I started blinking.

Yes, again.

"Her... stuff?" I asked Vance.

"Her stuff. Your Dad kept it. It's in a storage unit in Aurora. The unit is filled with clothes, jewelry, shoes, photos, books. It isn't just filled, it's preserved. Every piece has been carefully packed away, the unit is temperature controlled, sealed against water damage and it's fireproof. Units like that cost a fortune."

"Oh my God," I breathed, my trembling body starting to shiver.

My father hadn't gotten rid of every memory of her. He'd kept it.

My father hadn't killed her. He'd avenged her.

My body went straight, I pulled away from Hector a bit and I looked at Kitty Sue. "Tell me how I was again with my father."

Kitty Sue looked at Malcolm and she swallowed before looking back to me. "Lizzie used to say she sometimes wondered if you knew she existed. She told me, when you were a baby, Seth used to get up and give you your bottles in the night because you'd cry if she went to you but you'd settle if she handed you to him so he just did it all the time. She said he didn't mind. She thought he secretly loved it. Anytime you'd fall over, bang yourself on something, you'd always go running to him "

I shook my head and Kitty Sue stopped talking.

That couldn't be true.

It was my Mom. It was always my Mom.

"No," I breathed.

I pulled fully away from Hector and took a few steps into the room.

"Sadie, come here," Hector called softly.

I turned to him and it all came to me, stuff I hadn't remembered in years.

I closed my eyes tight against the memories, the strongest of which was how he'd come in after Mom brushed my hair at night and kiss the top of my head, just like Hector.

He'd tuck the bedclothes tight around me and turn out the light.

"'Night, my beautiful, sweet Sadie," he'd whisper.

"'Night, Daddy," I'd whisper back.

Oh. My. God.

How could I forget?

How?

"I informed on him," I said to Hector.

Hector jumped down from the counter and came at me but I backed away, putting up a hand.

"When you were undercover and... and... just a few days ago!" I shouted.

"Mi amor, come here."

I shook my head, still backing away.

"He wanted to be sure I was safe, taken care of, he asked Jerry "

"He did make sure you were safe," Hector told me. "If he hadn't helped, we wouldn't have flushed the Balduccis out yesterday. It would have taken days, maybe weeks before we got them."

I stopped my retreat and stared at Hector, not sure I heard him correctly.

"What?" I asked.

Hector stopped too but he kept talking. "Vance and I went to see him yesterday."