I stopped at the bar telling myself I could do this. This was a walk in the park for me. I'd survive this and whatever next torture life had to offer me. I could survive it all.

The bartender asked me what I wanted and I told him, "Three lemon drops. No wait! Four."

I was going to double up. I'd need serious vodka flowing through my veins to get through this night. And get through the night I would.

Fuck them. Fuck them all. Fuck the world!

"What was that all about?" Buddy asked from beside me and I looked at him then over my shoulder toward the door.

Ralphie was talking to Lee and Hector-Relative-Guy and now Indy and Daisy were with them.

Darn.

I turned back to the bar.

"That was Lee Nightingale," I informed Buddy.

"I know, after you played the screaming-bitch-from-hell and flounced away, he introduced himself," Buddy replied.

I looked at Buddy. "The Lee Nightingale. The one I asked to help me before I got attacked."

Buddy's face went gentle and he said, "I know who Lee Nightingale is, I remember your story, every word of it, sweetheart."

I nodded once and, holding close to the bitch in me, I said, "Well, there you go then."

Buddy stayed silent for a second then he told me, "The man with him is Eddie Chavez, Hector's brother."

Oh, well, that was just great. He couldn't be a far removed cousin, noooo, he had to be Hector's fucking brother.

"And?" I clipped, looking back to the bartender as he started putting glasses in front of me.

"Sadie, it's Buddy you're talking to. Set the bitch aside."

At his words I swallowed. Then I took a deep breath and turned back to him.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled.

"You want to go, we'll go," Buddy offered.

I picked up a lemon drop and took a sip. Then I sighed.

"We'll stay for a drink." Or two, I thought. "Then we'll go."

"Whatever you want, but Sadie?" I looked back to him and he started talking again. "He regrets not helping you. It's written all over him. You let him think he deserves to feel that regret then you aren't who I thought you were."

He was right. I knew he was. Furthermore, if I let Lee think he was somehow to blame for what happened to me, I wasn't only not who Buddy thought I was, I wasn't who I wanted to be.

I couldn't meet Buddy's eyes then, because I had to, because this was Buddy, I whispered, "I can't help myself sometimes, you know, being a bitch. It's a defense mechanism. I needed her, since my Mom went away, I needed her, the Ice Princess, to get through "

Buddy's hand slid along my shoulders and he got in close before he interrupted, "I know."

I leaned into him while the bartender finished our lemon drops then I paid for the drinks. When I was done, Buddy turned us to face the room.

I chanced a glance at the Rock Chick table and I knew they knew I was there. Only Shirleen's eyes were on me but my presence was no longer under the radar.

My eyes moved to Ralphie and he, Lee, Eddie, Indy and Daisy were standing further in from the door and they had been joined by a man I hadn't noticed before. He was huge, no, enormous, with wild, blond hair and a thick, russet beard. His eyes were on me as the others around him were talking. And, I could swear, as they all talked, I could see in the dim light of the bar his face was getting red.

Then it got redder. Then it got even redder.

Then abruptly he detached from the group and stomped over to me. There were people in his way but they scattered upon seeing his big bulk heading their way and he cut a swath through the crowd straight to me. He stopped in front of me and looked down at my face.

"You look like a fairy princess," he boomed, yes, boomed, his voice was so loud it filled the noisy bar.

People turned our way. I stared up at him, not knowing what to say to that strange opening remark and way too shocked to even consider pulling out the Ice Princess.

I decided "thank you" would be appropriate so that's what I said.

"I'm Tex," he announced.

I guessed (and was surprised by the fact) that this was Indy's barista.

"I'm Sadie," I told him.

"I know who the fuck you are. I also know, given the chance, I'm gonna snap that motherfucker's neck," Tex returned.

This time I guessed he was talking about Ricky. If someone told me that I would be having this conversation, I would have expected that, at his comment, I would be embarrassed. Somehow with Tex, I wasn't embarrassed.

Now, how bizarre was that?

For some reason, I smiled. And then I tried on New Sadie just to see how she fit.

"You make good coffee," I told him, held my breath and waited for his response.

"Anyone can make coffee," Tex replied.

I pushed New Sadie though from his reply I wasn't sure she was working for me. "Not like you. You're a master."

"Well, darlin', you think I make good coffee, why the fuck haven't I seen you at the store?" he asked.

"I "

"Bullshit," he interrupted me before I even got started.

Before I could think, my eyes narrowed. "What do you mean 'bullshit'? You didn't even hear what I had to say."

"Whatever it was, it was gonna be bullshit," Tex shot back.

It was then I heard Buddy laughing from beside me and I decided to stay silent. Really, what else could I do? This guy was crazy.

Tex turned to Buddy. "Who're you?" he demanded to know.

"I'm Buddy, Sadie's friend." Buddy put out his hand.

Tex took it, they shook then Tex's blue eyes turned to me, he leaned in then down, grabbed my hand and started dragging me across the bar.

Yes, dragging me across the bar.

"Excuse me!" I said to his back, trying to pull my hand from his and not succeeding.

He looked back at me but kept walking as people jumped out of his way. "Tonight, you sit by me."

"But "

"No lip!" he boomed as he led us to the Rock Chick table.

Oh blooming heck.

There were some good things about the evening.

One, Tex positioned me in a chair at the end of the tables by him that was slightly away from the table (for better viewing of the stage) and thus not easily reached by the Rock Chicks.

Two, Ralphie was having a blast, it was clear he was becoming one with the Rock Chicks and I liked it that he was having a good time.

Three, although they all smiled at me when given the chance, none of the Rock Chicks engaged me in conversation. They couldn't, I was too far away, not to mention, within five minutes of sitting and after Buddy and Eddie delivered the lemon drops, the show started.

Four, Daisy was at the opposite end of the table from me and even though I caught her watching me once, she looked away the minute I saw her (this wasn't good, exactly, it made my heart hurt a little, but it was safe).

Five, drag shows were great. I loved them. All the glitz, glamour, makeup, fancy dresses with feathers and beads, accessories and big hair. It was fantastic. The minute the first Drag Queen came out (her name was Burgundy Rose and she was also the hilarious, sharp-tongued MC) and lip-synced Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" with more diva gravitas than even Queen Diva Dion could, I was transfixed.

But there were also some bad things about the evening too.

First, Tex leaned into me when the second song began and boomed into my ear, "If there's a shootout or somethin', you stick with me."

After he said this, I blinked at him not certain sure whether I should laugh and then I realized he wasn't kidding. I didn't laugh but I did surreptitiously scoot my chair closer to his.

Second, Hector showed up during the third Drag Queen who was singing "I Will Survive'.

Like a sixth sense, I looked to the door and caught him walking in.

He looked good, wearing a close-fitting, burgundy, long-sleeved t-shirt, jeans and boots. He still needed a haircut but somewhere along the line he had shaved and, if possible, he looked better than ever.

I looked away before he saw me but with quick glances I watched him go to the bar, get a beer and then station himself next to Lee and Eddie at the wall.

"Work it, woman!" Tex boomed at the Drag Queen and I jumped, looked away from Hector, luckily before he caught me watching him and, I couldn't help myself, I smiled at Tex. His big head was bouncing to Gloria Gaynor and, well, this big, crazy guy getting into a Drag Queen lip syncing to Gloria Gaynor was just plain old funny.

I suspected Eddie had called his brother but I could deal with that too. I'd watch the show, drink my lemon drops and when it was over get Buddy and Ralphie to get me the heck out of there.

Simple.

At lemon drop number five, I realized it was high time I bought a round.

The Sadie-I-Wanted-to-Be would buy a round. Wouldn't she?

I leaned into Tex. "I'm going to go get a round," I told him to gauge his reaction to my friendly gesture.

"Budweiser," he boomed in response without taking his eyes off the stage and the Queen who was singing Natalie Cole's "This Will Be (An Everlasting Love)".

My eyes scanned the table and there were different-sized glasses with different-colored liquid scattered around. How was I to know what everyone wanted unless I asked them?

Impossible!

Then I had an idea and I leaned back into Tex. "What about everyone else?"

He tore his eyes from the stage, spared a glance at the table, looked back at the stage and boomed, "Shots."

I looked at the Rock Chicks. They were all singing out loud (and it was a very loud out loud) and dancing in their chairs with their arms over their heads (except Ally and Ava who were both standing by the stage, singing, dancing and waving dollar bills at the Queen).

Obviously, they didn't mind anymore what they drank. Shots it was.

I got up and went to the bar and when the bartender asked for my order, I turned to the table and counted then back to the bartender and said, "Eleven shots and a bottle of Budweiser."

"What kind of shots?" the bartender asked.

Oh no.

What kind of shots? I didn't know what kind of shots. I'd never been out with girls who drank shots. What kinds were there?

"Shots of liquor," I answered.

The bartender blinked at me then said impatiently, "I didn't think you wanted shots of orange juice."

Well, he didn't have to be mean about it.

This New Sadie thing was hard. The Ice Princess would have had him in cryo-freeze by now.

I shook off my desire to zap him with The Ice.

"What are my choices?" I asked.

He blinked again then started listing them off fast, "Tequila, sambuca, Kahlua, Jagermeister, anything like that. Then there are the mixed shots, B-52, fuzzy navel, sex on the beach, blowjob, screaming orgasm, quick fuck "

"Stop!" I yelled, putting a hand up to emphasize my need for him to stop talking just in case he missed it from my yell. Then I pointed to our table. "It's for them."