Robert Burns: How To Know Him - Part 35
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Part 35

But to our tale: Ae market night, Tam had got planted unco right, [uncommonly]

Fast by an ingle, bleezing finely, [fireside, blazing]

Wi' reaming swats, that drank divinely; [foaming ale]

And at his elbow, Souter Johnny, [Cobbler]

His ancient, trusty, drouthy crony; Tam lo'ed him like a very brither; [loved]

They had been fou for weeks thegither.

The night drave on wi' sangs and clatter, And aye the ale was growing better; The landlady and Tam grew gracious, Wi' favours secret, sweet, and precious; The souter tauld his queerest stories; The landlord's laugh was ready chorus; The storm without might rair and rustle, [roar]

Tam did na mind the storm a whistle.

Care, mad to see a man sae happy, E'en drown'd himsel amang the nappy.

As bees flee hame wi' lades o' treasure, [loads]

The minutes wing'd their way wi' pleasure; Kings may be blest, but Tam was glorious, O'er a' the ills o' life victorious!

But pleasures are like poppies spread-- You seize the flow'r, its bloom is shed; Or like the snow falls in the river-- A moment white, then melts for ever; Or like the borealis race, That flit ere you can point their place; Or like the rainbow's lovely form Evanishing amid the storm.

Nae man can tether time nor tide; The hour approaches Tam maun ride; That hour, o' night's black arch the key-stane, That dreary hour, he mounts his beast in; And sic a night he taks the road in; [such]

As ne'er poor sinner was abroad in.

The wind blew as 'twad blawn its last; The rattling show'rs rose on the blast; The speedy gleams the darkness swallow'd; Loud, deep, and lang, the thunder bellow'd: That night, a child might understand, The Deil had business on his hand.

Weel mounted on his gray mare, Meg, A better never lifted leg, Tam skelpit on thro' dub and mire, [spanked, puddle]

Despising wind, and rain, and fire; Whiles holding fast his gude blue bonnet; Whiles crooning o'er some auld Scots sonnet; [song]

Whiles glow'ring round wi' prudent cares, [staring]

Lest bogles catch him unawares, [goblins]

Kirk-Alloway was drawing nigh, Whare ghaists and houlets nightly cry. [ghosts, owls]

By this time he was cross the ford, Where in the snaw the chapman smoor'd; [smothered]

And past the birks and meikle stane, [birches, big]

Where drunken Charlie brak's neck-bane; And thro' the whins, and by the cairn, [gorse, pile of stones]

Where hunters fand the murder'd bairn; [found]

And near the thorn, aboon the well, Where Mungo's mither hang'd hersel, Before him Doon pours all his floods; The doubling storm roars thro' the woods; The lightnings flash from pole to pole; Near and more near the thunders roll; When, glimmering thro' the groaning trees, Kirk-Alloway seem'd in a bleeze; [blaze]

Thro' ilka bore the beams were glancing; [c.h.i.n.k]

And loud resounded mirth and dancing.

Inspiring bold John Barleycorn!

What dangers thou canst make us scorn?

Wi tippenny, we fear nae evil; [ale]

Wi' usquebae, we'll face the devil! [whisky]

The swats sae ream'd in Tammie's noddle, [ale]

Fair play, he car'd na deils a boddle! [farthing]

But Maggie stood right sair astonish'd, Till by the heel and hand admonish'd, She ventur'd forward on the light; And, vow! Tam saw an unco sight! [strange]

Warlocks and witches in a dance!

Nae cotillon brent new frae France, [brand]

But hornpipes, jigs, strathspeys, and reels, Put life and mettle in their heels.

A winnock-bunker in the east, [window-seat]

There sat auld Nick, in shape o' beast-- A touzie tyke, black, grim, and large! [s.h.a.ggy dog]

To gie them music was his charge: He screw'd the pipes and gart them skirl. [squeal]

Till roof and rafters a' did dirl. [ring]

Coffins stood round like open presses, That shaw'd the dead in their last dresses; And by some devilish cantraip sleight [magic trick]

Each in its cauld hand held a light, By which heroic Tam was able To note upon the haly table [holy]

A murderer's banes in gibbet-airns; [-irons]

Twa span-lang, wee, unchristen'd bairns; A thief new-cutted frae the rape-- Wi' his last gasp his gab did gape; Five tomahawks, wi' blude red rusted; Five scymitars, wi' murder crusted; A garter, which a babe had strangled; A knife, a father's throat had mangled, Whom his ain son o' life bereft-- The gray hairs yet stack to the heft; Wi' mair of horrible and awfu', Which even to name wad be unlawfu'.

As Tammie glowr'd, amaz'd, and curious, The mirth and fun grew fast and furious; The piper loud and louder blew; The dancers quick and quicker flew; They reel'd, they set, they cross'd, they cleekit, [linked]

Till ilka, carlin swat and reekit, [beldam, steamed]

And coost her duddies to the wark, [cast, rags, work]

And linkit at it in her sark! [tripped deftly, chemise]

Now Tam, O Tam! had thae been queans, [those, girls]

A' plump and strapping in their teens; Their sarks, instead o' creeshie flannen, [greasy flannel]

Been snaw-white seventeen hunder linen![21]

Thir breeks o' mine, my only pair, [These trousers]

That ance were plush, o' gude blue hair, I wad hae gi'en them off my hurdies, [b.u.t.tocks]

For ae blink o' the bonnie burdies! [maidens]

But wither'd beldams, auld and droll, Rigwoodie hags wad spean a foal, [Withered (?), wean]

Louping and flinging on a crummock, [Leaping, cudgel]

I wonder didna turn thy stomach.

But Tam kent what was what fu' brawlie: [full well]

There was ae winsome wench and walie [choice]

That night enlisted in the core, Lang after kent on Carrick sh.o.r.e!

(For mony a beast to dead she shot, [death]

And perish'd mony a bonnie boat, And shook baith meikle corn and bear, [barley]

And kept the country-side in fear.) Her cutty sark, o' Paisley harn, [short-shift, coa.r.s.e linen]

That while a la.s.sie she had worn, In longitude tho' sorely scanty, It was her best, and she was vauntie. [proud]

Ah! little kent thy reverend grannie That sark she coft for her wee Nannie [bought]

Wi' twa pund Scots ('twas a' her riches) [pounds]

Wad ever grac'd a dance of witches!

But here my muse her wing maun cour; [stoop]

Sic flights are far beyond her pow'r-- To sing how Nannie lap and flang, [leapt, kicked]

(A souple jade she was, and strang); And how Tam stood, like ane bewitch'd, And thought his very een enrich'd; Even Satan glowr'd, and fidg'd fu' fain, [fidgeted with fondness]

And hotch'd and blew wi' might and main: [jerked]

Till first ae caper, syne anither, [then]

Tam tint his reason a' thegither, [lost]

And roars out 'Weel done, Cutty-sark!' [Short-shift]

And in an instant all was dark!

And scarcely had he Maggie rallied, When out the h.e.l.lish legion sallied.

As bees bizz out wi' angry fyke [fret]

When plundering herds a.s.sail their byke, [herd-boys, nest]

As open p.u.s.s.ie's mortal foes [the hare's]

When pop! she starts before their nose, As eager runs the market-crowd, When 'Catch the thief!' resounds aloud; So Maggie runs; the witches follow, Wi' mony an eldritch skriech and hollo. [weird screech]

Ah, Tam! ah, Tam! thou'll get thy fairin'![22]

In h.e.l.l they'll roast thee like a herrin'!

In vain thy Kate awaits thy comin'!

Kate soon will be a woefu' woman!

Now do thy speedy utmost, Meg, And win the key-stane o' the brig; There at them thou thy tail may toss, A running stream they darena cross.

But ere the key-stane she could make, The fient a tail she had to shake! [devil]