"Tell them to sue me. Or better yet, baby, refund them their money." Lorenzo just gave me that look. I was used to it by now so I simply laughed it off.

"It doesn't work like that."

"Abby, what part of I'm not doing that s.h.i.t don't you get." I watched as she started fidgeting in her chair, something Abby did when I was irritating her, which was often. I knew she thought I was a nightmare as a client but Lorenzo was paying her out the a.s.s so she dealt with it.

"Lorenzo, will you please speak to her. I have some phone calls to make."

"I'm still not doing it," I laughed as Abby walked out the room.

"Why do you like f.u.c.kin' wit' her?"

"Because she takes herself way too seriously."

"She should with the amount of money she's making off me."

"So she needs to shut her mouth and do what I tell her to do."

"Dior, you're the one who told her you wanted the co-host job for the new music video show. She had to bust her a.s.s to get the network to even consider you. But you said that's what you wanted so she made it happen. Now the contract has been signed, they cut a check and you want to back out!"

"n.o.body told me I would have to be on set at five o'clock in the morning."

"It's only three times a week."

"I don't give a d.a.m.n if it was once a month, I'm just gettin' in the bed at five o'clock. I don't need that video bulls.h.i.t anymore anyway now that I just got my reality show deal. I was only doing it so people would have something else to talk to me about besides Sway. That s.h.i.t happened months ago but every interview I do that's the main topic. I'm over it and I'm over doing that video show. Baby, if they want their money back just give it to them."

"Dior, that's not the point. You don't conduct business like that. Abby works for a highly reputable firm. It makes her look unprofessional and it makes you look bad too. The contract is only for three months. A driver will pick you up every morning. Just do the show. It's gon' be a minute before the reality show starts airing so this will be a good look for you in the interim."

"Fine, I'll do it. These three months can't be over quick enough though."

"That's my girl. Now come give me a kiss."

"You know I can't resist you." It was true I couldn't resist Lorenzo. I never got tired of feeling his lips against mine. I was ready to f.u.c.k him right here in our living room even though Abby was only a room away. That was the effect he had on me.

"I have to go handle some business, but I'll be back."

"You always gotta go handle business."

"If you want me to be able to keep paying for things like a publicist and this fancy a.s.s condo I bought you then I gotta work."

"Don't forget about the party we have to go to tonight."

"How can I forget, it's an everyday thing for you. Don't you get tired of partying every night?"

"Nope, it's part of my job. It keeps me relevant. I dress up. I go to parties. That's what I get paid to do. Why are you looking at me like that?" Lorenzo was leaning against a chair and I was standing between his legs and he was giving me the craziest stare.

"I'm looking at you thinking to myself that never in my wildest dream did I think I would fall for your type."

"Is my type really that bad?"

"Yes, but I love you so it doesn't matter."

"I love you more. I really do. I can't imagine not being with you. When I think how you saved me from that Sway situation."

"I didn't save you."

"Yes you did. I was a prisoner in my own apartment but like you promised you hired the best people to spin this ordeal in my favor. And instead of me coming across as some pathetic chick that got beat up by her boyfriend they made me into this woman everybody wanted to cheer for. How they managed that, I have no idea but appearing on that Diane Sawyer special certainly helped."

"I still wish you didn't accept that settlement deal with Sway. It's not like you needed the money."

"I wanted it to go away. Going to court, having this s.h.i.t dragged out...I would've never gotten out of Sway's shadow, I'm still not. But it's better than what it would've been. And it's not like he got totally off. Yeah, he pleaded guilty to a lesser charge but he's on probation and knowing Sway he'll f.u.c.k that up."

"You shoulda let me f.u.c.k him up and we wouldn't even be having this conversation."

"I need you. I can't take any chances of something happening to you, especially over Sway's dumba.s.s. I want him to be so yesterday's news. But what tripped me out was after all that s.h.i.t his label still put out that video we shot together. They actually thought it would help him sell records and the crazy part was that they were right. But I can't complain it helped me too."

"And this is the industry you want to be in so badly. I don't understand why."

"That's because you're normal, baby. Only crazy people like me and Sway understand. But that's why I love you."

"And I love you."

"You better." I smiled and nuzzled my nose against his.

"Let me get outta here."

"Yeah, let me let you go because I don't want you calling talking about you're not going to make it back in time for the party."

"I'll be here. Now go make nice with Abby."

"Yes, baby, anything for you."

"I'll see you tonight." I already felt sad and Lorenzo had only left my sight a few minutes ago but what made me keep smiling was I knew he would be back.

"I hear all is a go," Abby said in that fake voice and smile she was famous for.

"You know I can never let Lorenzo down, so yes it's a go."

"Smart decision. I know we don't see eye-toeye on a lot of things, Dior, but I want this to work. I've been very successful with making you a star virtually overnight. The potential is endless. You're lucky. For some reason people are intrigued by you. Don't blow it."

"Abby, you can go now. I have something important to do. There's this party tonight and I have to find something to wear. You know your way out."

"This is the last stop," I told my driver when we pulled up to the YSL store on 855 Madison Avenue. While I waited for him to open my door, my phone was ringing and it was my baby calling.

"Hey you."

"Don't be mad but I can't make it tonight."

"You promised."

"Dior, I didn't promise."

"You promised in my mind."

"Stop it. What I'm taking care of is taking longer than I thought it would."

"I hate going to parties without you."

"You'll be fine."

"Being with you keeps me safe."

"Dior, go to the party. Call Courtney. She'll be glad to go with you.

"You'll be home tonight though, right?"

"Don't I always come home to you?"

"Yes, I'll see you later tonight."

"Ok, have fun." When I hung up with Lorenzo I called Courtney.

"Hey Courtney."

"Dior! How are you?"

"I'm in a bind actually."

"What is it?"

"I have to go to this party tonight and Lorenzo can't come. I don't want to go by myself. Will you go with me?"

"Of course!"

"Awesome. I'll be downstairs at like ten."

"See you then."

I leaned back in the car and looked down at my hand, playing with the ring Lorenzo had given me on my birthday. I remembered how excited I was when he gave it to me and I asked him, was it an engagement ring. He laughed and told me no, it was a ring that promised that if I stayed out of trouble we would get engaged. So I had been on my best behavior ever since. But tonight for the first time since I got back on the scene after Sway I was going out without him and I was petrified.

"You can take me home. I'm done shopping for the day," I informed the driver as I held on tightly to my ring as if it had some sort of magical power that would get me through anything.

"Dior, turn this way! Over here, Dior! No this way, Dior!" That's all I heard as I walked the red carpet into the party. The photographers stayed calling my name and I made sure not to give them a fashion fail with my black mini-cutout Roberto Cavalli dress.

"They love you!" Courtney gushed when we finally made it into the party.

"They do, don't they," I smiled.

"Dior, your table is over here," a guy dressed in a black suit said escorting me to the back of the venue. "Your waitress will be bringing over your bottles of champagne shortly."

"Thanks."

"Your life is unbelievable. All people do is cater to you."

"Yeah, they do, don't they, except for the one person I need the most."

"Dior, I'm sure if he could Lorenzo would be here. He loves you so much. I've seen it with my own eyes."

"I guess. If it wasn't for him none of this would be happening for me. It's amazing what money can do, you know."

"But if you didn't have that 'it' factor, all the money in the world couldn't buy you fame. People love you." I wanted to believe that what Courtney said was true but there was this part of me that always felt that people would discover that I wasn't good enough. I had absolutely no talent. But I did have a gift that had taken me very far and it was called determination.

"Courtney, you're right people do love me and we're going to celebrate that. I know you don't drink, but you're going to have some champagne tonight."

"I guess I could have one gla.s.s." That one gla.s.s turned into a champagne campaign for us. The bottles didn't stop popping all night. With Lorenzo not being here I had n.o.body to tell me enough and I certainly wasn't going to tell myself. Before long I was dancing on the table and having a blast.

"Come on, Courtney, let's go to the dance floor," I cheered as we both struggled to keep our composure. I was about to fall down when I felt somebody catch me. I was so drunk all I did was laugh until I saw it was Sway.

"Let me go." I was drunk but I knew I didn't want Sway's hands on me.

"I was only trying to help. Come sit down before you hurt yourself." I held onto Sway until we got to his table. "Who are you here with?"

"Courtney. Where did she go?"

"I think I see her over there dancing with some guy."

"We both have had too much to drink."

"You never did know how to put down the champagne. But I think I have something that can balance you out." It was easy for me to figure out what Sway meant. I hadn't really done any drugs since Lorenzo and I started living together but Sway knew me so well and he always gave me what I thought I needed.

"Give it to me." Sway put some lines on the table and I sniffed them up so quickly that it took me a moment to know something was different. "This isn't c.o.ke, what is this?"

"I've upgraded, it's heroin. You 'bout to have the best high of your life."

"I need to go home." I instantly regretted sitting down with Sway. But it's like crazy people are drawn to other crazy people.

"That's cool but I'll put the rest in your purse. You can thank me later for it 'cause trust me; you'll be wantin' some more."

I grabbed my purse from Sway and went looking for the exit. On my way out I found Courtney dancing with some guy who was groping all over her. "Let's go!" It was time for both of us to go home.

When we got to Courtney's place I had the driver take her upstairs to make sure she got inside safely. While I was waiting for him to come down I reached in my purse to get a piece of gum and saw the heroin Sway had put in there. He was right. It had given me the best high ever. The feeling of euphoria was making me want to make love to myself so I couldn't wait to get home so Lorenzo could do it for me.

When I finally got home, Lorenzo was in the living room watching television. I started taking off my clothes at the front door ready for him to make love to me.

"How was the party?" he asked flipping the channels.