Deidre flinched.

"I want this time to be different. I know you have a secret and made deals with the Dark One. I'm holding my breath, hoping none of that s.h.i.t comes back to bite me," he continued. "I guess a better answer is that I need time to heal before I can trust myself to love you, Deidre."

He was right without knowing it. She had no way of guaranteeing him that something she'd done wouldn't return to make them both miserable.

Like the deal she made out of emotion with Darkyn's mate. In three days, Darkyn may come on behalf of his mate to collect by any means necessary. Darkyn had been correct about the human she dumped in h.e.l.l. Human-Deidre had no reason whatsoever not to give Darkyn the soul he s.n.a.t.c.hed when the deal was up.

If Gabriel didn't fall in love with Deidre in three days, he would be betrayed once more. This time, permanently.

For the first time in her life, Deidre didn't know what to do.

"I did mean it, Gabriel," she said in a hushed voice. "I have always loved you."

"I know."

"I never meant to hurt you. Ever. I never knew I was."

"Oh you knew you were f.u.c.king me up," he replied.

"But I didn't know what that felt like," she said.

"You do now?"

"Yes," she said, tears in her eyes. "It's like your soul is being torn in two."

"Yeah, it is."

"How did you bear it for so long?"

"Because I did love you, Deidre," he responded. "Until you pushed me away the final time. Until you took an innocent human and condemned her to near-death for your selfishness. Katie didn't deserve to have you mess with her like you did."

She listened, not wanting to cry or acknowledge the level of pain she put him through for so long. She remembered talk to Rhyn's mate, Katie, in the underworld, trying to understand what it was to love from a human standpoint.

"You made me choose between you and doing what was right in the underworld when I saved Katie and her daughter," he continued. "I realized then you'd never understand or accept me for who I was. You wanted to break me, Deidre, by turning me against everything I was."

Deidre thought back. The events he spoke of occurred just a few months before, when Darkyn was attacking the Immortals and before Rhyn took over the Council That Was Seven. Once more, Gabriel was right. She recalled clearly the decision she'd forced him to make and kicking him out of her bed, the moment he resigned his soul to her to save his friend's life.

Her plan had been near its finale. She was plotting her return with a chain of events that ended with the human that bore her likeness being turned over to Darkyn. At the time, she had viewed it all as part of a process. Any pain she caused was going to be short lived and quickly fixed, when she revealed herself to Gabriel once more and told him they could be together. Though she couldn't recall the thousand-year process it took to reach this very place, she knew the end results.

"You couldn't be Death if I didn't have your soul," she said. "It was the last piece of the puzzle. I had to have it, Gabriel. I didn't mean to break you. I wanted you to understand what it was like to be a deity. Human emotion could only complicate that."

"Human emotion ... you didn't have it before last week. How did you know it could complicate the role of Death? How is a sociopathic deity better at ruling the underworld than a compa.s.sionate human?" he returned with no heat. "You always thought my emotions were weaknesses. It was human emotion and compa.s.sion that made me your best death dealer."

She listened. Sometimes, she thought it made sense. At other times, it didn't, because her own emotions were too hard for her to control. She couldn't make important decisions while wrangling her feelings. Yet Gabriel managed to. He had done it every day he served her as her lead a.s.sa.s.sin and he was doing it now as Death.

The reality of his stark words made her wonder what he would've done in the same situation. What if he couldn't have been with her unless he gave up his underworld and power? Would he have taken a similar course?

"What would you do?" she asked. "I mean, if you had to choose between me and your world?"

"I did choose you. Every day, Deidre. Even after you rejected me," he replied. "Until you took my soul a few months ago, I was there because I loved you and for no other reason. I could've walked away at any time. I would've spent every day with you, if you hadn't done what you did."

Her tears rose again. He was serious. He did love her. But no longer, because she'd been trying to make sure she never lost him. How much easier would it have been, if she simply accepted his love and walked away from the underworld? They could've both gone somewhere else entirely, wherever they wanted to go, without the underworld crumbling or the pain Gabriel was in.

The pain she was in or the situation where she might lose her soul in three days.

"I wish you could've told me this long ago," she said.

"You didn't have the ability to understand." His voice was gentler.

"Is it too late?" she asked. "Can you ever love me again?"

"I just need time, Deidre." He raised his hand to her face. She closed her eyes as he brushed away her tears. "You're my mate. Everything that's mine is yours. My heart, I can't vouch for. I've gotta heal first."

"I understand." And she did, clearly enough that she felt the pain of her heart aching once more. "Is there anything I can do?"

"You know what."

Trust.

She was beginning to hate the word. Though she didn't want to in front of him, Deidre started crying.

"G.o.ds, woman," he said with a grunt. "Don't start that s.h.i.t. This is the first time we've had an honest discussion in about a million years." He nudged her off him and onto her side then wrapped his arms around her and held her against him.

No words would come. Deidre sobbed, suddenly wishing she could go back and change whatever it was she did to start this chain of events. In three days time, she'd not only lose her soul, she'd lose Gabriel, too, this time for good.

The only thing that was clear was that her soul was lost. Before she went, she owed him the truth. But not tonight. Tonight, she'd take comfort in the arms of the only man she ever loved.

Day Four.

Chapter Nine.

Gabriel left his sleeping mate in her bed with a lingering glance. Her slender frame was relaxed, her breathing deep and peaceful. His skin smelled of her, and he breathed it in, loving her scent. He wasn't entirely certain what to think about last night, but he felt like he'd gotten somewhere. They'd taken a step together towards their future by talking openly on topics he never thought he'd be able to bring up.

She made love to him as if she'd waited her life for the moment. She cried as if she was losing him.

He didn't know what that meant or even if it was a possibility that she would one day trust him enough to tell him what was burdening her. He came to the conclusion that she, too, needed time to heal. Her own journey to reach this point hadn't been easy. She was hurting, even if he didn't know why.

He dressed then slid out of the room. It was just after dawn, and the fortress was silent. He walked down the hallway to the stairwell and down. He felt good after the night with his mate, and it was too nice outside to take a portal when he had the energy to walk.

The morning air was crisp and cool. Gabriel was halfway to the lake when Darkyn spoke to him.

Available at your convenience.

Gabriel almost stopped mid-step, having forgotten he contacted the Dark One yesterday. He considered cancelling the meeting. Deidre would trust him in time, and he didn't want to break the thin bridge of trust they'd established last night.

Then again, if she owed any sort of debt to Darkyn, Gabriel wasn't about to be caught off guard. He also wasn't going to let the Dark One hurt or threaten or even talk to his mate ever again. Meeting the Dark One so close to the fortress, then, was not an option.

After a moment, he responded to Darkyn. Deidre's old apartment. Five minutes.

Gabriel trotted first to the lake, curious to see how last night had gone now that they knew about the tears. The lake was placid. A few of Rhyn's Immortals were sparring on one bank under the watchful gaze of one of the death dealers.

Gabriel waved the dealer over.

"Update on the tears," he directed.

"All five are sealed. Landon issued orders to the dealers last night to seal the others in the lakes where we found the souls originally. They'll be back to collecting souls by noon," the dealer reported.

"Excellent." He glanced around the lake. When he didn't sense the dealer he sought, he summoned him silently. Landon.

His second-in-command appeared instantly.

"I'm going to meet with Darkyn. Stay available," he directed him.

"Sure, Boss."

Gabriel opened a portal and strode through the shadow world. Setting foot in Deidre's old apartment again was surreal. The human lived here for a few years with a boyfriend that one of Darkyn's demons killed. This very building was the one Gabriel dived off of in an attempt to keep the terrified human from trying to kill herself.

Maybe it was a mistake to come here. His gaze lingered on a picture of Deidre on one wall. It was her ... but not. At least, not anymore. The Deidre he spent the night with and the Deidre who went to see Darkyn four days ago were very different.

On a mission to ensure there was a clean slate between his mate and Darkyn, Gabriel waited in the middle of Deidre's old apartment for the Dark One to arrive. He glanced around the tiny place, unable to rid himself of the instinct that warned him he was missing something. He didn't understand what. The sense of unease rose again, this time more strongly. He reminded himself why he chose this place: it was where Darkyn met him originally, before the Dark One had brokered a deal with Gabriel's mate. If Darkyn had a connection to Deidre, he'd be affected by the place as much as Gabriel was. Gabriel just had to watch for the signs.

"What brings Death to my door?" the Dark One asked, emerging from the hallway leading to the master bedroom.

Gabriel a.s.sessed the demon lord. A full head smaller than him, Darkyn was nonetheless the most lethal creature Gabriel had ever known. The demon's wiry frame was armed, his black eyes steady and quiet power restrained. Something about the demon was different enough to make Gabriel pause. Darkyn normally simmered with restless energy that emerged in sudden, unpredictable violence. Today, he seemed ... calm, if the ruthless Dark One could be called that.

"Your choice of venue is ...interesting," Darkyn said with a glance around.

"I take it you found what you were looking for, the last time we met here," Gabriel said. Darkyn had demons searching the apartment last week for what Gabriel a.s.sumed was the soul contained in the tumor of the human-Deidre's head. Why he wanted the soul that he then let go was another mystery Gabriel wanted to resolve.

A cold smile crossed Darkyn's face. "You would guess right."

"You made a deal with my mate."

"I did."

"Are the terms fulfilled?"

"They are."

"That easy?" Gabriel studied him with a frown. "You prevent one from dying, bring the other back from the dead-dead, combine their souls and release her from h.e.l.l. In exchange for what?"

"You misunderstand the terms." It was Darkyn's turn to tilt his head curiously.

"What were they?"

"Ask your mate," Darkyn said, unconcerned. "Unless, of course, you don't trust her."

Gabriel ignored the barb.

"It seems a deity like you could easily uncover the information you wish by reading her mind," Darkyn added. "Or checking with the Oracle."

"I can't read her mind or find all the deals in the Oracle. The meat of the deal was private, was it not? A matter between you and her?"

"Perhaps you should look more closely." Darkyn shrugged. "The terms are completed. Do you think I would hesitate to collect, if they were not?"

"Absolutely not," Gabriel said with a snort.

"Then why are you here, Gabriel?"

Gabriel said nothing. Darkyn's question hit home. As much as he hated to admit it, Darkyn wasn't one to wait to claim debts owed him. Gabriel didn't know what he hoped to obtain from the demon lord on this issue. Clarity, insight. Rea.s.surance that no nasty deal between his mate and the demon-lord would arise. Deidre was evasive about what happened though she, too, was insistent that the terms were complete.

Andre was the only one who seemed to think there was a reason for Gabriel to be here, and Gabriel trusted Andre more than both Deidres and Darkyn combined.

"To discuss how you are a.s.sisting my death-dealers get into and out of my underworld," Gabriel replied, changing the subject.

"For the right price, I will a.s.sist any of them get home."

"There is a way through h.e.l.l?"

"Demons cannot pa.s.s through it, but your death dealers can. I simply offer them a route home in exchange for favors," Darkyn said. "They are dropping quickly."

Ten, Gabriel knew. To complicate matters, he had no idea what shape the underworld was in, if the reports Landon received were correct. If true, the rebellion forming in the underworld needed to be dealt with swiftly and his soul found. He just didn't know how to do that without making a deal with Darkyn.

"Would you like to go home?" Darkyn asked with a cold smile.

"I've been shut out for a reason."

"And you accept that. Just like you accept your mate's version of our deal."

Gabriel grated his teeth. "Don't play with me, Darkyn. We both know anyone can get to h.e.l.l. You are the only way out of h.e.l.l, and I'm not about to make you a deal. There is another way, and I'll find it."

"You brought me here to play with me." Darkyn looked around again. "I have no business with your mate. Whatever your concerns, they are not with me. As for the underworld, I prey on depravity. I will continue to do so and lure your dealers home."

"Your demons and my dealers know your status. Is it no longer a matter of discretion?" Gabriel asked.

"It is not," he confirmed. "Recent events forced my hand. h.e.l.l is aware I have ascended to the position of the Dark One."

"Recent events? Such as ..."