RETURN-TO-SENDER FARM.

Spring is Tyler's favorite time of year on the farm, but it doesn't arrive until May in Vermont. Oh, there are warm days in April, little crocuses poking up on the south- facing section of lawn around the house. Mom hangs out the wash and the wind blows it dry by noon. Dad starts mending fences, so that he can put the calves and heifers and dry cows out to pasture.

One morning, the air is full of twittering, and when Tyler meets Mari at the mailbox to wait for the bus, they both say at once, "They're back!" The swallows have returned, right on time. "I think they're chirping in Spanish," Tyler jokes.

"Primavera, primavera, primavera!" Mari singsongs. Spring, spring, spring! Mari singsongs. Spring, spring, spring!

But like the phrase stamped on an envelope with an index finger pointing back to where the letter came from, this is Return-to-Sender spring. A cold front blows in from the north, dumping a snowstorm. Frost beheads the daffodils. The puddles in the fields turn to ice, reflecting the gray sky.

This year, Tyler feels especially impatient for spring to get here. Maybe it's because he already started spring by going south to North Carolina, only to return to winter as they headed back to Vermont.

But finally, really and truly, May rolls in with day after warm day. The only problem is the constant rain, which makes it hard to get the fields planted. But even rain can't dampen Tyler's high spirits. All winter long, the farm is in hibernation mode, only the milking parlor and barn hum-ming with life. But come spring, the farm unpacks its animals and its smells and its sounds and spreads out on all sides. Then a farmer's second job begins: growing the food to feed his cows during the fall and long winter.

School is a drag, because there's so much that needs to be done on the farm. Tyler has to scale back his hours at Mr. Rossetti's. One afternoon a week, he cleans the yard, rakes out the garden, gets the flower beds ready for the bulbs Grandma brought over to improve Mr. Rossetti's property.

Weekends, he helps his dad and Corey and Ben (whose cla.s.ses have already ended!) out in the fields. Meanwhile, the milking and barn ch.o.r.es are left for Mr. Cruz and his brother. The two groups cross paths at night as one comes from the fields and the other from the barn, briefly exchanging whatever information is needed before heading home wearily to supper, maybe a little TV, and bed.

It's at these times that Tyler notes how sad Mr. Cruz looks, not at all what Tyler expected after the ecstatic reunion a few weeks ago. The minute the car pulled in the driveway that late Sunday afternoon, Ofie and Luby came racing from the trailer and their father from the milking parlor. Tyler thought they'd knock Mrs. Cruz over. They practically carried her back to the trailer, and Tyler and his dad agreed to finish up the milking with Armando so Mr. Cruz could just feast his eyes on his skinny wife.

But according to Mari, the stories Mrs. Cruz has been telling her husband about her captivity must be truly awful, because Mari is not allowed to even know what they are. "I hear them sometimes at night in the kitchen-my mother talking and crying, and my father crying right along." Then, for days afterward, her father walks around with a fierce look in his eyes, his jaw tense, and his hands in fists. Any little thing and he blows up at Mari and her sisters. "It's really terrible at home," Mari admits. "I mean, it's great that Mama's back, but I thought, I don't know, I thought it would be different."

Tyler nods. He knows exactly what she means. Maybe this is what grown- up life is all about? Sad and happy stuff all mixed together. His old hand- blinker routine no longer works. He knows too much inside his own head. "You yourself said, Mari, you just have to be patient and wait," he tries consoling her.

"I know," Mari admits, but it doesn't seem to lift her spirits in the least to say so.

For Mother's Day, Tyler's whole family gathers at Grandma's for a big dinner, cooked by the men in the family. Halfway through the meal, the men start fessing up. It turns out that Uncle Larry picked up his spareribs at Rosie's. ("I knew it!" Aunt Vicky says, licking her fingers.) Dad bought the cake from the bakery at Shaw's, and Uncle Byron special- ordered the pate from some shop in Burlington. (Everyone wolfs it down until Aunt Jeanne announces it's made of ducks' livers.) Only Tio Armando actually made the refried beans. Meanwhile, Mr. Rossetti brought two twelve- packs of beer and a bottle of champagne that makes Grandma's cheeks turn pink like a girl's.

As they're all finishing the cake, Grandma clinks her water gla.s.s. "I have an announcement to make," she says, grinning slyly.

Tyler tenses up. It hasn't been a full year yet. Much as he has gotten to really like Mr. Rossetti, Tyler is not prepared for him to be married to Grandma.

But that's not the news Grandma wants to share. "I'm going to Mexico!"

"By yourself?" Aunt Jeanne asks. Tyler can't tell if his aunt is worried about Grandma going by herself to a foreign country or worried about her going to a foreign country with a man who is not Gramps.

"Of course not!" Grandma lets out an exasperated sigh. "Martha's going with me. We're taking the youth group to Chiapas. Alyssa's set it all up for us to work at the clinic where she volunteered."

"But when are you planning on going?" Aunt Jeanne asks. Tyler is sure that whenever it is Grandma says she's going, Aunt Jeanne will find some Web site warning that it's the worst time to visit that part of Mexico.

"Summer sometime. We have to wait till all the kids are out of school."

The guests are quiet, digesting the information. Mari whispers to her parents and uncle what is going on. Their faces flood with joy. The grandmother will be the guest of the family. She can stay at their new house built with the money they have been earning in America.

"Well, I think it's exciting and real special for the kids," Grandma says. She sounds a little miffed that no one but her Mexican family seems especially happy about her plans. "I know Alyssa said it was a life- changing experience."

"Who needs to change their life at our age?" Mr. Rossetti speaks up in that ornery tone of voice Tyler hasn't heard since town meeting night. "Elsie, what kind of c.o.c.kamamie idea is this? I know it's no use trying to change your mind. But doggone it, I'm going with you to keep an eye on you." It's a statement, but Grandma treats it like an application, one that might not be approved.

"Well, Joseph, not so fast there. It's a church trip, so you'd have to join up to go with us."

A long look pa.s.ses between them. Tyler's not sure how it will go. Mr. Rossetti coughs and takes a sip from his gla.s.s. "What's everybody looking at?" he barks at the table.

"Okay, okay. I'll join your darn church, for heaven's sakes," he grumbles at Grandma once everyone looks away. It's not easy eating humble pie in public. And Mr. Rossetti has had to eat several pieces recently. At least Grandma sweetens them with her wonderful baking skills. Mr. Ros-setti is looking a little heavier and a lot healthier and hap-pier than he was back on town meeting night.

Now that Grandma has made her announcement, Ofie must feel like it's open season. "Guess what?" she asks the table. "Tomorrow's Mari's birthday! She's going to be twelve."

Before you know it, everyone is singing "Happy Birthday." Mari flashes her sister an annoyed look and bows her head, embarra.s.sed.

Her mother leans over and whispers something in her ear. It must make her feel better because Mari nods, smiling.

"Mama said Mari could pick anything she wanted for a present." It's Luby's turn to report. Her two little dogs are asleep on her lap. Recently, Tyler has noticed that Luby will sometimes leave them at home instead of carting them everywhere. Maybe now that she's getting older, Luby realizes that two stuffed puppies are not going to protect her from the bad things that can happen. For some reason, this makes Tyler feel wistful for something he can't put his finger on.

"Guess what?" Luby continues. Of course, no one knows what they are supposed to be guessing about. "Mari picked a really pretty diary with a tiny key so she can lock it and we won't be able to read it!"

"You can't read!" Ofie reminds her little sister.

"Can too! I can read my name. L'U'b'y. Luby. L'U'b'y. Luby. I can read I can read d-o-g. Doggie. d-o-g. Doggie. I can read-" I can read-"

"That's not reading," Ofie cuts her off.

Mr. Cruz eyes the two quarreling sisters. Immediately, they stop.

Meanwhile, Tyler is wondering what on earth he can buy Mari at the last minute. He's got very little to spend. Most of his money is still out on loan to Mr. Cruz. But how about a special gift that doesn't cost anything? It's been a while since they had a stargazing session. The winter nights were just too cold to stand outside. But now the nights are mild and fragrant. The stars have shifted, and it's fun to find them reshuffled in the sky. Bootes, the herdsman, tracks the two bears with his dogs. Shy Virgo slips into view. The Big Dipper pours down its light. Leo, the lion, roars, glad to be king of the sky again.

The next day at school, Tyler stumbles upon a Web site where you can actually name a star for someone. And the best part is that it's free! You just print out the certificate.

Tonight, Tyler will set up his telescope on the hill behind Grandma's house and surprise Mari with the certificate. Then they can look at the star now officially named Mari Cruz. It's the coolest surprise ever!

Here's hoping the clouds lift-both for the sake of planting the fields and for Mari's sake. She needs a scoop of blessings from that Big Dipper. She said as much to Tyler when she admitted it's been terrible at home. Tyler keeps reminding her what Gramps always told him: "Anytime you feel lost, look up."

He'll write that on the back of the certificate, along with Happy Birthday. Happy Birthday. His mind snags on how he should sign off. His mind snags on how he should sign off. Love, Tyler Love, Tyler? All his card- writing life, he has signed that way, automatically. But now for some reason, the word love love glows, like a star, still unnamed in his heart's sky. glows, like a star, still unnamed in his heart's sky.

Monday night, the clouds turn to rain. Tyler heads over to the trailer with his star certificate and an IOU for stargazing. He's surprised that today at school, Mari didn't mention any kind of celebration at home this evening. Come over for cake and soda. Come over and celebrate with the family. Come over, period.

But he can understand. Last Christmas when Felipe was in jail and Ben in trouble and Sara complaining that just because her brother was grounded, it wasn't fair to punish her, too, Tyler couldn't stand to be home or have friends over. He loved escaping to Grandma's or to the barn. If Mari's father is that upset all the time and her mother is still jumpy and waking up everyone at night screaming, Mari probably doesn't want to share her troubles with the rest of the world.

And yet, Tyler's not the rest of the world, or so he hopes. They've become special friends. Mari is someone he can talk to about stuff he can't even talk to Grandma or Mr. Rossetti about. Growing- up stuff like how what used to seem so sim-ple is suddenly much more complicated. His mom has told him that being an adult is about navigating your way through choices and challenges using the North Star of your heart and conscience.

"But you're not alone, Tiger, honey," Mom has told him, brushing his hair back out of his eyes like she's been doing since he was a little kid. "Your family, your parents, your teachers, we're all here to help you and guide you, mostly by example."

That's the problem. The examples his parents are giving him are sometimes confusing and contradictory. Like how you can be a patriot and break the law. Or how you can say no eavesdropping and then listen at Sara's locked bedroom door to make sure she hasn't snuck in her new boyfriend, Mateo, a Spanish exchange student. If Tyler points out these contradictions, he gets scolded. "I don't want to hear an-other word from you, Tyler Maxwell Paquette," his mom says. "You're out of order, son," his dad adds sternly. End of discussion.

One thing Tyler has not mentioned to his parents is the exact details of picking up Mrs. Cruz in Durham. Sometimes when they pester him with questions about the trip, Tyler is at the point of confessing. But then he remembers his prom-ise to his aunt and uncle. Again he feels that welter of con-tradictory feelings, right and wrong so mixed in with each other that he's bound to do wrong even when he does the right thing. Besides, Sara has already warned him that if he says a word, she will kill him. Just as he thought, by telling the truth he'll turn his sister into a murderer!

But with Mari, Tyler can talk and talk and feel heard. That's the best part. Otherwise it would be just too lonely for words: being a single, solitary human being for your whole single, solitary life!

"Hey, happy birthday," he says when Mari opens the door. The TV is blaring in the background, Spanish news. The rain is coming down, but a small awning extends over the back steps, so Tyler can pull the certificate out from in-side his rain slicker without it getting wet. He's put cardboard on both sides and wrapped it up so it looks more special. "The second part of the present comes when it stops raining," he explains. That about gives that part of the sur-prise away.

Mari unwraps the gift daintily like the paper's too valu-able to tear. If she only knew. Tyler found a bag with a pretty floral print stashed in the recycle bin. It does make a nice wrapping.

Mari glances over the certificate. She looks unsure what it is. "Thank you so much," she says politely.

Tyler can't contain himself. "It's a star named after you!"

Mari's mouth drops open. She reads over the certificate carefully this time. Tyler rereads it himself for the ump -teenth time, but now with the added pleasure of sharing the surprise.

"But, Tyler," Mari protests, "this must have cost a whole lot?" Tyler is debating whether to tell her it was totally free when they hear her mother's voice calling from the living room: "Mari?" She wants to know who it is. Mari answers over her shoulder that it's Tyler, then something about her c.u.mpleanos, c.u.mpleanos, which Tyler knows means her birthday. which Tyler knows means her birthday.

"My mother says to invite you. Do you want to come in?"

Normally, Tyler would say sure, but some tension in Mari's face lets him know she doesn't really want him to ac-cept her mother's invitation.

"Maybe we can talk on the steps instead?" Mari offers more eagerly. The awning gives them some cover, and it's kind of nice being outside with a little light beaming a circle of warmth around them while the rain keeps falling. Tyler sits right down, but Mari has to ask for permission first, which her mom must grant, because she closes the door and plops herself beside Tyler with a big sigh.

"Is your dad upset again?" Tyler asks after a moment's silence.

"Well, it's just ...", Mari begins. "The president, your Mr. President, was just on TV saying he's sending the National Guard troops down to the border. They're going to build a huge wall." Mari's voice is as damp as the night. What a way to spend her birthday! "My parents are talking about going back before that happens."

"Do you want to go back?" Tyler asks. What he doesn't say is that he doesn't want her and her family to go at all.

"I always thought I would," Mari says, her voice steadier now. It's as if talking with Tyler also makes it easier for her to face difficult news. "But I don't know. I... I love it here on your farm."

That could be the single most wonderful thing a girl could say to Tyler. "I love it here, too," he agrees. "It's like my favorite place in the world." Not that he's seen much of the world: three big cities and the highway out the car win-dow between them.

Just then, the door flies open, startling them both and breaking the spell. It's Mr. Cruz, and he does not look happy. He barks some accusation at Mari, who defends herself by holding up her gift and again mentioning her c.u.mpleanos. c.u.mpleanos.

But Mr. Cruz just seems to get angrier at Mari for offering excuses. He jerks his head for her to go inside. But before she can, Mrs. Cruz appears beside her husband. She smiles warmly at Tyler, the gap of missing teeth turning her beautiful smile into something broken and sad. She says some-thing softly to Mr. Cruz, touching his arm. But he shakes her off and gestures for her to go back inside as well. Then, glaring at Tyler, he says something to Mari that Tyler can tell she doesn't want to translate.

"Diselo!" her father commands. her father commands.

"My father"-Mari hesitates-"he says he doesn't have your money yet. To stop coming around to collect. He'll give it to you as soon as he has it."

Tyler wants to say that that's not what he came for. But the look on Mari's face is begging him not to contradict her father. To please leave right away. That much he can give her for her birthday.

He turns and walks back home, not bothering to put his hood up. If they were not salty, Tyler would pretend his tears were just raindrops washing down his face.

Sunday night before Memorial Day, the skies suddenly clear. The stars sparkle as if they've been washed by the rain. Tyler is up at Grandma's with the three Marias, pasting little paper American flags onto pencil- sized rods. Tomorrow, they'll all go to the town cemetery and plant a flag beside each veteran's grave, including Gramps's. All the members of the local VA will be there, giving speeches. Mr. Rossetti will play taps, which he says he'll do as long as he has enough breath in his lungs. Tonight as they work, Grandma has the radio turned on to this station that is playing lots of music in honor of Memorial Day tomorrow.

"Grandma, are you really eloping to Mexico to get mar-ried to Grandpa?" Ofie starts in.

Grandma's cheeks again turn pink, but this time she hasn't been drinking champagne.

"Who told you such a thing?"

Ofie looks confused. Every kid in the world knows when they're about to get a grown- up in trouble. "Aunt Jeanne was just saying ..."

"I knew it!" Grandma says crossly. "That Jeanne! She imagines things and then I'm held accountable. I'm going to give her a piece of my mind!" She marches toward the phone, wiping her hands on a dish towel.

Mari flashes Ofie a look. See what you've done, causing a family fight! "Remember, Grandma, Ofie has a big imagination and a big mouth," Mari reminds the grandmother.

"I do not!"

"You do too!"

Ofie shoves Mari, who shoves her back. That's one thing Tyler has noticed. Mari is learning to stick up for herself.

"Okay, okay," Grandma says, coming between them. She has forgotten her phone call. There's a more immediate fire to put out.

"Mari and I have to check on something outside, okay?" Tyler tells Grandma, who nods, looking relieved. "Thank you, dear," she murmurs, giving Tyler credit for being a peacemaker. In fact Tyler is glad for this fight, since it gives him an excuse to do something with Mari without her usual tail of two younger sisters. Earlier, he set up the telescope on the small hill just above Gramps's garden. It's the only way Tyler will be able to deliver his rain- checked gift. He doesn't dare go near the trailer anymore, feeling so unwelcome.

Out they go, across the backyard, past the garden that Gramps would be planting tomorrow if he were still alive, uphill to the very place where last November they saw the Taurid meteor shower.

"Where are we going?" Mari asks finally. She must not have guessed the big hint Tyler dropped on her birthday about waiting for a clear night to deliver the second half of her birthday present. No doubt the scene with her father erased happier moments from that evening.

But as soon as she spots the telescope, she gives a little cry. "Can we find my star?"

Tyler has the coordinates all ready. They crouch down, taking turns looking through the telescope. Her star is a teensy smudge of light, but the way Mari oohs and aahs, you'd think it was as big and bright as Venus or Mars!

At one point, as Tyler is angling the telescope lower in the sky, he notices a clump of stars he has never seen before. Puzzled, he stands up to orient himself. Those lights are not in the sky but on the dark edge of the horizon and getting closer. As he watches, the glare coalesces. A battalion of cars, lights flashing, is racing toward the farm without a name.

"What are those?" Mari has stood up beside him. Her voice is edged with the worry that seems threaded through everything she says nowadays.

As they look down toward the farmhouse, the swarm of cars comes to a screeching halt. Dark figures leap out and surround the small trailer, where three Mexicans are just now watching a game of lucha libre lucha libre and waiting for the three Marias to come home. Meanwhile, in Grandma's kitchen, peace has been restored. Ofie and Luby finish up the little flags that they intend to plant tomorrow at the graves of patriots who died for their freedom. and waiting for the three Marias to come home. Meanwhile, in Grandma's kitchen, peace has been restored. Ofie and Luby finish up the little flags that they intend to plant tomorrow at the graves of patriots who died for their freedom.

Sunday, June 4, 2006 Dear Diary, It's been over two weeks since Mama gave you to me for my twelfth birthday You looked so official, with a little strap and lock and teensy key! I couldn't seem to come up with anything important enough to write down.But then, after two weeks of nothing happening, suddenly a lot has happened and writing in a diary was the last thing I could think of doing. Besides, it was only yesterday that we made a list for Grandma and Tyler of things to pick up for us at the trailer and bring over to our secret location, which I don't have to keep secret from you. So until today I didn't even have you along. It feels so good to have this safe place where la migra la migra can't come and haul my words and thoughts and feelings away. can't come and haul my words and thoughts and feelings away.We are hiding, my sisters and I, so I don't have much privacy. And most of the time, I'm too worried to write. Worried about Mama and Papa and Tio Armando, and what will happen to all of us. I bite my nails so much that at night my fingers throb.

Friday, June 9, 2006 Dear Diary, We haven't been to school for almost two weeks now. Mrs. Paquette went over to Bridgeport and talked to Mrs. Stevens. Tyler says n.o.body except Mr. Bicknell and my sisters' teachers know about us.But by now everyone in cla.s.s is asking where I am. Some of them have been asking Tyler if it's true what Clayton and Ronnie have been spreading, that I am in jail! I guess there are rumors all over town about what happened over at the Paquette farm.So I'm going to write down exactly what happened. If I am finally taken away to jail, I will leave you, dear Diary, to tell the world the whole truth of what we have been through.

Sunday, June 11, 2006 Dear Diary, Mr. Rossetti went to church with Grandma, so for the first time we are alone in the house. My sisters are downstairs watching television, as Grandma finally brought our TV over. Mr.Rossetti doesn't own one. He calls it the idiot box and says there wasn't anything wrong with radio that needed fixing. He has a lot of opinions about things, I am finding out.No news yet about Mama and Papa, but Mrs. Paquette says that she and Senora Ramirez have contacted Mr. Calhoun, the lawyer who helped out with Tio Felipe.When I heard Tio Felipe's name, I suddenly thought of our family in Mexico! They would worry so much when they didn't hear from us. I asked Mr. Rossetti if we could call Mexico, but he doesn't have long distance on his telephone. He says he doesn't know anyone he wants to talk to outside Vermont!So I asked Mrs. Paquette, who asked Ben, who asked Alyssa to call and explain. My whole familia familia was so worried. But Alyssa told Tio Felipe that a lot of people are working on getting my parents out of jail and reuniting us all again. was so worried. But Alyssa told Tio Felipe that a lot of people are working on getting my parents out of jail and reuniting us all again.Just hearing about that reunion, I start crying and can't stop. That just gets Ofie and Luby going, and then it's terrible as Mr. Rossetti doesn't know what to do except give us his handkerchief to blow our noses. That's another thing about him. He doesn't believe in Kleenex. There wasn't anything wrong with handkerchiefs that needed fixing, he says.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 Dear Diary, Today, I am going to write down what happened when Mama and Papa were taken away I meant to do it on Sunday, but my sisters called me down for a special program about swallows on TV. They know swallows are my favorite animal because of the song "La Golondrina." "La Golondrina."I didn't realize there was so much to know about them! How they fly for days and days, eating and even making babies as they fly, so desperate are they to get where they are going. How they bring good luck to farmers when they nest in their barns. (Tyler says his grandfather would never let anyone disturb a swallow's nest, even when the milk inspector said there was too much of their p.o.o.p around.) Best of all is how, like my own family, swallows have two homes, one in North America and one in South America.Here is what happened the night la migra la migra took my parents away: took my parents away:Tyler and I were outside looking at my star, which is the most spectacular birthday present I have ever received. I still cannot believe there is a star in the universe with my name on it! I don't know how Tyler could have afforded to buy it, as he loaned all his money to Papa to help ransom Mama back. He also gave up his birthday trip to go to North Carolina to rescue Mama and invited me along. That is all the birthday gifts I will ever want from him for a whole lifetime.Just as Tyler was about to take his turn at the telescope, we saw cars racing toward the farm. Next thing we knew, all these agents had surrounded the trailer and were shining huge searchlights so n.o.body could escape in the dark. They banged on the door, but when Papa opened it, just as quickly, he slammed it shut. Two agents had to push against it hard, finally knocking it down. Next, they were hauling Papa out, but he was struggling and swinging at the agents. Meanwhile, Mama was jumping out of the window of our bedroom, but there were agents all around ready to catch her. Two of them grabbed her by the arms and herded her inside one of the cars. She was screaming the whole time. Only Tio Armando came out peacefully, head bowed, his hands handcuffed behind him.Meanwhile, Tyler's parents came running out of their house. His mother was shouting something, but the agents were not listening. She ran back inside and came out waving a piece of paper, which one of the agents grabbed and put in his pocket.All the time we were watching, I was sobbing hysterically. When Mama began to scream, I tore off down the hill toward the trailer to be with her. After all she had been through, I just knew she'd have a nervous attack right then and there. But Tyler caught up with me and wrestled me to the ground."Don't, Mari!" he whispered, pinning me down by my wrists. "You can't go, you can't. They'll take you, too." When I finally stopped struggling, he pulled me up and took my hand, and we ran as fast as we could down to his grandmother's house.When we burst inside, Grandma and Luby and Ofie looked up surprised. I guess they hadn't heard all that commotion with the radio playing. I couldn't talk because I was crying so hard. Tyler explained to his grandmother what we had seen. "They were all dressed in jackets with guns and stuff, not like real policemen in uniforms. The jackets had ice written on them.""That's Immigration and Customs Enforcement, oh my!" Grandma's hand was at her chest, her breath coming fast. Even she was in a fl.u.s.ter. "They didn't take your parents, did they?" The color drained out of Tyler's face. "I don't know." Suddenly he looked as scared as I was.Luby and Ofie had begun to cry, which made my own tears dry up. Months ago, when Tio Felipe had been jailed and Papa was all worried that he was next, he made me promise that I would take care of my sisters like their little mother. I had to stay strong for them.Grandma ran to the phone and dialed Tyler's parents, but n.o.body answered. Either they were still outside, talking to the agents, or maybe they, too, had been taken away for committing the crime of hiring Mexicans without papers.The grandmother looked so pale, I was afraid she was about to faint. "We're going to stay calm. Really calm. And very calmly we are going to get in my car." It was like she was talking to herself, but we were more than happy to follow her instructions.Next thing we knew, we were driving in the opposite direction from the trailer, taking the back way into town. It wasn't like Grandma told us to hide or anything, but my sisters and I crouched down in the back. I felt just a taste of what it must have been like for Mama, riding under a false floor in a van all the way across America.We pulled into Mr. Rossetti's driveway, and Grandma ushered us to the back door, knocked once, then walked right in. Mr. Rossetti was already in bed upstairs. "Joseph!" she called up. "You got company."A few minutes later, Mr. Rossetti came down the stairs in his bathrobe as fast as he could with the help of his cane. His white hair was all messed up like a little baby's. "What in tarnation?" he said when he found us standing in his kitchen, all looking terrified."We need for you to take us in," Grandma began. Then she sort of raced through a crazy explanation about agents surrounding the farm and us escaping the back way. Before she had even finished her account, she was heading toward the phone mounted on the kitchen wall. It looked like a telephone from when telephones were first invented. No wonder we couldn't call Mexico. Mr. Rossetti probably couldn't get long distance on that old phone even if he wanted to."Hold your horses, Elsie," Mr. Rossetti was saying. "Maybe I just woke up, but this isn't making a bit of sense to me. Why would the law be after you?""I don't know that they are, Joseph," Grandma said more calmly. She already had one hand on the phone. "But if you'll kindly let me make a call, then I can tell you what is going on."The phone couldn't have rung more than once, and then Grandma was talking to Tyler's mom. She repeated some of the stuff she was hearing out loud for Mr. Rossetti's benefit, as he looked like he was going to grab the phone away from her any minute. "Let me talk to her," he kept saying, but Grandma kept holding up one hand and shaking her head."They were taken away.... You don't know where.... They left you a number.... You didn't mention ... Yes, they're here with me. So's Tyler. But you're okay?"When she was done, she hung the receiver carefully back in its holder and sort of collected herself, then turned around. She still looked worried, but her voice was calm and strong like she was an actress playing the part of the heroic grandmother who saves the day. "I want everyone to take a seat-you too, Joseph."Mr. Rossetti grumbled about the gall of some people not letting him use his own phone, but he did finally sit down. Once we were all seated, Grandma explained what had happened at the farm. How my parents and uncle had been taken away by Immigration and Customs Enforcement. How Mrs. Paquette had tried to show them the paperwork that proved the Cruzes were paying taxes. How Sara had arrived as it was all happening with her boyfriend, Mateo. How Mateo had translated for Mr. Cruz, who asked the Paquettes to please not say anything about the three Marias as he was afraid they would be taken away. How before they drove off, the agents gave Tyler's parents a phone number that they could call for more information on the status of the Cruzes, and if and when they would be deported to Mexico.Mr. Rossetti had both his hands on his cane in front of him and now he put his head down on his hands as he listened. Seeing this, both Ofie and Luby began to cry."I want my daddy," Luby wailed. "I want my mommy. I want my doggies." All I could think was that just what Luby called our parents-not Mama, not Papa, but Mommy and Daddy- showed she didn't belong in Mexico."That's no way to treat decent folks!" Mr. Rossetti said when Grandma had finished her account. "And what's more, these here girls have rights. They're American citizens!" he added angrily, jabbing the air with his cane. Tyler glanced at his grandma, who flashed us a look to keep quiet. So much for telling the truth to your friends to improve their characters.There were a bunch more phone calls back and forth, but Grandma said that Tyler's parents were afraid to say too much in case their phone was being tapped."That's when they spy on what you're saying without you knowing it," Tyler explained. It sounded just like what Mr. Bicknell had said happens when your government is a dictatorship.It was very late by the time we piled into Mr. Rossetti's spare bedroom upstairs with pillows and blankets that smelled musty, like they had not been used in ages. Ofie even found this coc.o.o.n in her blanket with a little moth folded inside it. Tyler slept downstairs on the couch. I don't know where Grandma slept. Mostly, she stayed up, talking to Mr. Rossetti late into the night. I could hear their worried voices drifting up from the kitchen.As for me, I don't think I slept a wink. I couldn't bite my nails as there were no more nails to bite. By the time I finally got out of bed, light was pouring in the window. Grandma was gone and so was Tyler. They had driven back to the farm early to help out with ch.o.r.es. That's right! Papa and Tio Armando would not be there to milk the cows this morning.Later that day when Grandma came by with Tyler, she told Mr. Rossetti she had called someone from the VA to come over and pick up all the little flags we had put together. "I just don't have the heart to celebrate anything today," Grandma admitted. Her nerves had calmed down, but she looked tired and as sad as when we arrived on the farm last August a few months after her husband had died.Mr. Rossetti was nodding his head. "My sentiments exactly, Elsie. I called up Roger and told him I couldn't blow for them today, either. And it's a crying shame, because if anyone deserves our grat.i.tude it's our vets."That's why later that night, once it had gotten dark, we piled into Grandma's car. It is the one and only time we've been out since coming over to hide in Mr. Rossetti's house. We were surprised they were risking it just one day after everything had happened. But Mr. Rossetti said he wanted to be sure we girls saw the proud face of America.Which was why I was confused when we ended up in a graveyard! There were little flags all around that Tyler shone his flashlight on, the very ones we had put together the night before. We stopped at one gravestone that Mr. Rossetti explained belonged to his older brother, Gino, who had died in World War II."These boys did not die in vain," Mr. Rossetti said in a gravelly voice. Then he cleared his throat and said it again. "I'm going to make d.a.m.n sure of that.""Watch your language in the graveyard," Grandma reminded him. But she didn't sound that upset at all over Mr. Rossetti's swearing.Before we left, Mr. Rossetti pulled out his trumpet from the trunk of his car. There in the dark with sprinkles of rain falling on our faces, he played the saddest tune, as sad as "La Golondrina." "La Golondrina.""G.o.d bless America," he said when he was done.Both North and South America, I thought, remembering the swallows on the TV special.

Sat.u.r.day, June 17, 2006 Dear Diary, Mrs. Paquette came by with Senora Ramirez and Tyler today. They've spoken to Papa! He is now in a detention center in Clinton, New York, wherever that is. Mama is somewhere else as they were separated when la migra la migra took them away. Papa is sick with worry about her as well as about us. Senora Ramirez said he pleaded with her not to say anything about his children because he has heard that took them away. Papa is sick with worry about her as well as about us. Senora Ramirez said he pleaded with her not to say anything about his children because he has heard that la migra la migra takes kids away from the parents. "I told him I don't think that will happen," Senora Ramirez explained. "Plus, you girls are takes kids away from the parents. "I told him I don't think that will happen," Senora Ramirez explained. "Plus, you girls are americanitas. americanitas. You have You have derechos derechos and rights as U.S. citizens." and rights as U.S. citizens."Tyler and I looked at each other, wondering if this was the time to come out with the whole truth. But Mrs. Paquette whispered something to Senora Ramirez, who quickly glanced over at me and then looked away.Honestly, I don't know why it has to be such a big secret that I was born in Mexico. Or why grown- ups can't just tell us what is going on. "They don't want to worry you," Tyler says. But it worries me more to think there's something so awful that I can't be told!Besides, Tyler always fills me in. Maybe because his ears stick out a little, but he seems to overhear a whole bunch of secrets. Today, he stayed on after his mother and Senora Ramirez went to meet with Mr. Calhoun up in Burlington. It had been raining all day, and so his father wouldn't be able to plant the back field. Tyler had a free afternoon until milking time."It's really hard right now," he told me about the work around the farm. "Just me and Ben and Dad." His father has improved a lot, but the fingers on his right hand don't yet work correctly, so doing ch.o.r.es takes a long time.What Tyler has overheard is that the raid on the farm happened on account of Mama's bag that la migra la migra confiscated when they raided the confiscated when they raided the coyotes' coyotes' house in North Carolina. Inside, they found her Mexican pa.s.sport and phone numbers they tracked down to a farm in Vermont. But instead of thinking that poor Mama was a victim of these house in North Carolina. Inside, they found her Mexican pa.s.sport and phone numbers they tracked down to a farm in Vermont. But instead of thinking that poor Mama was a victim of these coyotes, coyotes, the agents a.s.sumed she was one of the traffickers! So she is being treated like a criminal. "Your dad, too, on account of he resisted arrest and struck a federal agent," Tyler explained. "The only one who's going to get sent back real soon is your uncle, as he just let them arrest him, then admitted he was here without papers and all he wanted was to go home." the agents a.s.sumed she was one of the traffickers! So she is being treated like a criminal. "Your dad, too, on account of he resisted arrest and struck a federal agent," Tyler explained. "The only one who's going to get sent back real soon is your uncle, as he just let them arrest him, then admitted he was here without papers and all he wanted was to go home.""Mama and Papa should do the same thing," I said, even though I knew that would mean we would all have to go back to Mexico, and I wasn't sure I wanted to live there anymore. But I'd rather go back and be together with my parents than stay here, all separated, with Mama and Papa behind bars. "We've got to tell Senora Ramirez to tell Papa-""But that's what I mean," Tyler broke in. "They don't get to make that choice, because now they are criminals who broke the law. You know, like when your uncle Felipe ran off. They'll have to stand trial and maybe go to jail before they can go home."That's when I really lost it. Two or three weeks without getting to see my parents I could stand, but months and months! We had already suffered for over a year without Mama. Now we had finally gotten her back, and she was being taken away from us again. It just did not seem fair at all."Mari, don't cry, please," Tyler kept saying. He looked as helpless as Mr. Rossetti when my sisters and I start sobbing. Only difference is Tyler doesn't have a dirty handkerchief in his pocket to offer me.Later that afternoon, when Grandma came by to pick up Tyler, she brought us a cake to cheer us up. It was made just for us, I could tell, as the frosting was pink. Stuff she makes for Mr. Rossetti is more hearty and supposed to help him move his bowels. Now, there's a kind of love for Mr. Bicknell to put on the board next year for his Valentine's Day a.s.signment. Old people's love where you try to improve their characters and help them go to the bathroom!I almost made myself laugh out loud, writing that down. But then, remembering that I probably won't ever see Mr. Bicknell or my cla.s.smates, I started crying again. This time, though, there's no one looking on, wondering what on earth to hand me for blowing my nose and drying my tears.Except you, dear Diary. You can hold all my sadness just as long as I cry in ink here.

Sunday, June 18, 2006 Dear Diary, Today was the first day in a long time that it wasn't raining, so Tyler's whole family had to get the corn planted. After supper, they all came over with a carton of ice cream in honor of Father's Day. Mr. Paquette hardly said a word, he was so tired. I suppose it's no way to spend your special day, but then it's a whole lot better than spending it in jail.All day I felt so sad thinking about Papa. There had to be a way to help him and Mama get out of jail, but I couldn't figure out how."What if we told la migra la migra the whole truth?" I asked Tyler, who shook his head. the whole truth?" I asked Tyler, who shook his head."They won't listen, Mari, I can tell you that much. Why do you think they're called ICE?"They were ICE all right, with cold hearts to do what they'd done to my family!Still, look at Mr. Rossetti. He had turned out to be so nice after all. Maybe if we explained what had happened to Mama and why Papa would have been so frantic to protect her, and how they had kids who were suffering, and two of those kids were American citizens whose sufferings counted even more, maybe the agents' icy hearts would melt. "Maybe they'd even give us our papers because they felt sorry?"Tyler crossed his arms. For the second time in two days, he reminded me of Mr. Rossetti! This time it was the same look Mr. Rossetti gets in his eyes when Grandma comes up with one of her grand plans. And the very same words were coming out of Tyler's mouth: "Mari, you are a dreamer, aren't you?"Wednesday, June 21, 2006 Dear Diary, Today was the last day of school. Afterward, the bus dropped off Tyler, who had a letter for me from the whole cla.s.s! Mr. Bicknell wrote it on the board, and everyone contributed a message. Then, during lunchtime, he typed it up on his computer.I'm going to paste it here.

Dear Maria, We miss you so much. Today, on the last day of sixth grade, we decided to write you a group letter, telling you how much it meant to us that you were in our cla.s.s. (Mr. Bicknell here: I'm typing each person's message in a separate paragraph.) Dear Maria, you are the best Earthling on earth! Love, Maya I hope you come back to be with us in seventh grade, so you can help us save the planet. Peace, Meredith Dear Maria, are you in Mexico? I hope you are having an awesome time. Chelsea Maria, call me if you can, 802-555-8546, my father is a lawyer and he can help you out. Caitlin Have a great summer. Sincerely, Ronnie Have a great life. Sincerely, Clayton Lacroix Ill Maria, you deserve to stay in our country. It would be a better nation with you in it. Your friend forever, Tyler I hope Jesus takes care of you and your family. G.o.d bless you, Amanda Here is a joke for you, Maria: Why did the burglar take a shower? He wanted to make a clean getaway! (I got a whole bunch more, but Mr. Bicknell says everyone just gets to send one message.) Keep smiling, Kyle Maria, I've got a joke for you, too: Which state is the smartest? Alabama: it has four A's and one B! Michael Maria, Mr. Bicknell says enough with the jokes, so I'll keep mine for when I see you again. Gracias Gracias for the help with my for the help with my espanol. espanol. Dylan Dylan Hola, Maria. Muchas gracias para mi amiga de su amiga. Rachel Rachel Maria, I really liked when you wrote stuff and Mr. Bicknell read it out loud. I loved learning about the dead people's holiday and how every night for two weeks before Christmas, you party. That's cool. If I could still be American, I would love to be Mexican, too. Love and amor amor to you, Amelia to you, Amelia Maria, Mr. Bicknell is letting me say my message privately just to him. I am very sad because my daddy just told my mom that he is in love with someone else and is going to divorce her. I sure wish you were here so we could be best friends because Rachel doesn't want to be mine anymore. Ashley As you can see, Maria, you left behind many friends at Bridgeport. We hope for the best for you and your family. Always remember that you have a home in our hearts, no matter where you are. Friendship knows no borders! Mr. Bicknell I've read the letter over and over, laughing and crying both. I feel so sorry for poor Ashley. As for Clayton and Ronnie, I sincerely hope they grow up to be nicer adults than they are kids. That Kyle tells the funniest jokes, and Michael is pretty funny, too. But my favorite of all is Tyler's.It would be a better nation with you in it. If only this country would listen to its kids! If only this country would listen to its kids!

Sunday, June 25, 2006 Dear Diary, On Friday, a big thing happened.The day before, Senora Ramirez stopped by, and I asked if I could have a private word with her. We went to the backyard, where there is a little birdbath and two stones that are big enough to sit on. I told her the whole truth about how I wasn't a U.S. citizen. "I know," she admitted. Then I asked if she'd drive me over to la migra's la migra's office so I could explain everything to them. office so I could explain everything to them.She was real quiet like she was working it all out in her head, what could happen. A little bird came and landed on the birdbath. When she looked up, it flew away."Are you sure this is something you want to do, querida querida?" she asked. She always throws a few Spanish words into her English. It helps connect me to where I came from and makes me feel part of a bigger story. It's one of the special things about talking to her. Plus, she really listens. Not the way some grown- ups pretend- listen, and you can tell they already have the answer and are just waiting for you to finish."Si, estoy muy segura," I told her. Saying I was really sure in Spanish sounded more convincing to her and to me. Sure, I was scared. But I had thought and thought about it and made up my mind. Especially after Tyler told me that he overheard his mother talking to his aunt Roxie about my mother. It turns out that Mama is in the clinic at her detention center in Boston "under sedation," which Tyler says means they are giving her pills to keep her calm. I can believe that. Meanwhile, Papa has been moved to a place in New Hampshire. The only good news is that Tio Armando is already back in Las Margaritas. Alyssa sent word that Tio Armando was really happy to be reunited with his family. That last piece of news is what convinced me. I told her. Saying I was really sure in Spanish sounded more convincing to her and to me. Sure, I was scared. But I had thought and thought about it and made up my mind. Especially after Tyler told me that he overheard his mother talking to his aunt Roxie about my mother. It turns out that Mama is in the clinic at her detention center in Boston "under sedation," which Tyler says means they are giving her pills to keep her calm. I can believe that. Meanwhile, Papa has been moved to a place in New Hampshire. The only good news is that Tio Armando is already back in Las Margaritas. Alyssa sent word that Tio Armando was really happy to be reunited with his family. That last piece of news is what convinced me."To tell you la pura verdad," la pura verdad," Senora Ramirez was saying. The pure truth was that she agreed with me! Having Senora Ramirez was saying. The pure truth was that she agreed with me! Having la migra la migra see that my parents were not criminals but hardworking parents with kids might help. She was almost one hundred percent sure that my sisters and I would not be taken away to some foster home, since we were being well taken care of by friends of our parents and there were no relatives around to claim us instead. see that my parents were not criminals but hardworking parents with kids might help. She was almost one hundred percent sure that my sisters and I would not be taken away to some foster home, since we were being well taken care of by friends of our parents and there were no relatives around to claim us instead."So will you take me, please?" I asked.Again, she thought it over. "Tell you what," she said, standing up and brushing off her pants. "Let me talk it over with Caleb, okay? And I'll get back to you." It took me a second to remember that Caleb was Mr. Calhoun, the lawyer who had offered to help my parents just as he had Tio Felipe.Later that afternoon, Senora Ramirez called to say Caleb had agreed. It couldn't hurt for ICE to put a face on case A 093 533 0744. He was free to accompany us to the Homeland Security office in St. Albans tomorrow morning. "Barry'll drive us up in his Subaru. The three of you can ride in the back."The three of us? I was shaking my head even before I explained. I didn't want my sisters along. They had suffered enough without also having to go in front of scary agents who had taken our parents away. "Just me, and Barry, and you," I pleaded with her. "Please, por favor por favor?" Then I thought of one more person who would make it easier for me if he were along.So the next day, the two of them and Tyler and I drove up to Burlington, where we picked up Mr. Calhoun. Today he was dressed more formally in black pants with his shirt tucked in. He'd also taken off his earring, though you could still see the little hole in his ear. It actually made me more nervous that he was trying to make a good impression.He sat with us kids in the back and asked a whole lot of questions about what all I would say. The more I said, the more he kept nodding. "Just as I thought." He went on to explain the whole situation. How my parents had been seized during a national sweep called Operation Return to Sender."Operation Return to Sender?" Barry was looking in his rearview mirror like he wasn't sure he had heard correctly.Mr. Calhoun nodded. "Actually, the target was undoc.u.mented immigrants with a criminal record. That's probably why they flushed out your mother's smugglers down in Durham, where they found evidence linking your mother to them.""But isn't that what they stamp on a letter, Return to Sender Return to Sender?" Tyler asked. "When there aren't enough stamps on it?""Precisely." Again, Mr. Calhoun was nodding. "People as excess baggage." He looked disgusted. "Anyhow, your parents hardly fit the bill. Now we've got to convince Homeland Security."He was saying we we, but it was up to me, and I knew it.We drove up to a low brick building and pulled into the parking lot. I felt almost as scared as that day when we had ransomed Mama back from the coyotes coyotes in North Carolina. Now I was going to try to do the same, but instead of money, I was going to offer a story. The story Mama had told me about what had happened to her. in North Carolina. Now I was going to try to do the same, but instead of money, I was going to offer a story. The story Mama had told me about what had happened to her.Just inside the door, we found ourselves facing a gla.s.s part.i.tion. An officer in a uniform looked up, scowling, from the other side. "Bulletproof so they don't get shot," Tyler whispered. He would know from when he visited Tio Felipe at the county jail. It just made my heart race all the faster.Mr. Calhoun gave our names through a little speaking hole and explained who we all were and why we were here. The officer picked up his phone and repeated the whole story before buzzing us in. "Go ahead and take a seat." He nodded toward a long bench against one wall. "Mr. O'Goody'll be right with you.""Oh jeez!" Mr. Calhoun sighed. Right then and there, I knew that despite his name, Mr. O'Goody was not good news.Before I could get too nervous, a stocky man with a thick neck and a big jaw stood before us. He didn't look a whole lot older than Mr. Calhoun, except for being bald with just a fringe right above his ears. But what he'd lost on his head, he had on his eyebrows. They were real bushy, which made his eyes look sneaky, like they were undercover but ready to pounce on you if you told a lie and lock you up in jail.He shook everyone's hands. When he got to me, he said, "You must be Maria?"I couldn't find my voice, no way, so I just nodded."Come along then," he said real gruff like he already knew that I was going to be a waste of his time. Especially if I wouldn't talk. "Your friends can wait here."Mr. Calhoun quick stood up and said he needed to come along and represent his client."Me too," Tyler added. He had promised to stand by me, no matter what. For a second there, I'd been afraid he had forgotten.Mr. O'Goody turned to face them both. "I know you got your law degree, Calhoun. But what about you, young man?"Tyler shook his head and his face got even redder than Mr. Calhoun's hair. "I'm Mari's friend ... and I just ... came along so she wouldn't be so scared," he stammered. Then, he added, "Sir," the way a soldier might salute some important general.Mr. O'Goody looked Tyler over for a minute. It was like he was running through a checklist in his head about what to look for in a terrorist. Thank goodness Tyler looked just like who he was, a Vermont boy with a bunch of freckles on his nose and the prettiest blue eyes."Come along then." Mr. O'Goody herded us down a long, empty hall without windows or pictures on the walls. Only posters with stuff printed on them. Probably rules and regulations that would trip anybody up.He opened the door to an office, then stood to one side and let us go in first. A couple of chairs faced a desk with its back to a window, which seemed a shame with such a pretty view of a field with some horses munching on wildflowers. Mr. O'Goody didn't have any pictures on his desk like most of the teachers did at school. It was like he didn't have a wife or kids, so how would he ever understand why my family was suffering from being separated? "Take a seat," he said, nodding at the chairs. It was a trick offer, because there weren't enough to go around. But Mr. Calhoun went ahead and took a chair, and Tyler and I stayed standing."You, Maria, you sit here." Mr. O'Goody moved the other chair to one side of his desk where a machine was all set to go. At first, I thought it was a lie detector, but of course, without wires connected to me, how would it know my heart was in my throat? "I'll have to tape her testimony," he explained to Mr. Calhoun, who nodded his approval.Mr. O'Goody turned the recorder on. I could hear that tape making little clicking sounds, but I couldn't seem to turn on my voice. Then from behind my chair, Tyler came and stood in front of me. "Hey, Mari. Just make believe you're telling me, okay?" That was the most helpful thing anybody could have said. Even Mr. O'Goody, I could tell, was impressed.And so I started.... The whole story of what had happened to Mama, of how she'd been gone for a year and four months. How my father couldn't go to the police because he wasn't allowed to be in this country in the first place. How we had moved to a farm so he didn't have to leave his kids all alone for weeks at a time now that we didn't have our mother. Somewhere in there I threw in that my sisters were American citizens. I didn't say anything about myself. I would leave that for the end.When I got to the part about ransoming my mother, I just wanted to cry. But I told myself this was one time I couldn't give in to my sadness. I had to keep going. So I told how we had come back from North Carolina with my mother always jumpy and screaming in the middle of the night. How instead of my father being overjoyed to have her back, he was angry all the time, losing his temper, mostly because he blamed himself that he hadn't been able to protect his wife."That's why when la migra- la migra-I mean the ICE agents-came to the door, he just wasn't thinking. He would never ever have hit anybody in the world before all this happened. It's like he's turned into someone else with the bitterness and the hurt inside him."n.o.body was saying a word, and I was too scared to look up and see if Mr. O'Goody was even listening.But now I had gotten to the really hard part, the part I'd been thinking and worrying about for days. "I'm not an American citizen," I confessed, "just my sisters. So I'm turning myself in. I hope you'll take me instead of my mother, as she will go crazy if you keep her in prison. She's not going to run off, I promise, if you've got me in your jail."It was over. I had said what I came to say. All those tears I'd been holding back just came flowing down my cheeks. My nose was running, but I didn't have anything to wipe it with. I felt someone else join Tyler in front of me. I thought it might be Mr. Calhoun wanting to console his client. But it was Mr. O'Goody, and he was offering me a whole box of Kleenex!"You're a brave and n.o.ble young lady," he said. His gruff voice had softened. "I can't make any promises, but I'm sending this information down to our regional office in Boston, along with my recommendation that your mother be released pending her hearing. I'm also going to add a personal note, commending your exemplary behavior."I didn't know what exactly that meant, but it must have been good because I wasn't hauled away and locked in a jail. In fact, Mr. O'Goody shook my hand extra long as we said goodbye in the waiting area."So O'Goody's not a bad sort after all," Barry said as we pulled out of the parking lot.This time, Mr. Calhoun did not commit himself to a yes or no. "All I can say is O'Goody's having a good day today. Either that or he finally got laid."Another American expression I'm going to have to ask Tyler to explain.

Friday, June 30, 2006 Dear Diary, We leave tomorrow for Boston! Mama will be released into the custody of Tyler's aunt and uncle, who have agreed to let us stay with them until Papa's case can be heard. Hopefully, he'll get released real soon, too. It's kind of complicated, but Mr. Calhoun explained it to Senora Ramirez, who explained it to us as best she could.Mama agreed to testify against the coyote coyote criminals so they can be convicted and not do what they did to her to anybody else. And because she's going to do that, she's getting a special letter in her file that's going to help her when she applies to get into this country legally. Meanwhile, Papa's mental condition at the time of his arrest will be taken into consideration. When it's over, we'll all fly back to Mexico together. criminals so they can be convicted and not do what they did to her to anybody else. And because she's going to do that, she's getting a special letter in her file that's going to help her when she applies to get into this country legally. Meanwhile, Papa's mental condition at the time of his arrest will be taken into consideration. When it's over, we'll all fly back to Mexico together."But what if we don't want to go to Mexico?" Ofie said, pouting. "What if we want to stay in our own country?"Senora Ramirez suddenly looked real tired, like she had climbed a mountain, only to look up and find an even bigger mountain ahead. She had worked so hard to reunite us. But that wasn't enough, not for my sister Ofie, anyhow.But it wouldn't do to scold Ofie. She would just get more stubborn. Besides, I could understand how she was feeling. So I pulled my two sisters aside for a family meeting."I want us to try really hard when Mama and Papa get out. So many sad things have happened to them," I explained. "And wherever we end up, the important thing is we'll all be together as a family. And remember, the two of you can always come back because you are American citizens. So this is just for now. Okay?" Luby nodded, but Ofie was putting that chin of hers up in the air. "And, Ofie, most of all I want us to be friends, okay? Please, por favor? por favor? Not to argue because we'll need each other more than ever." Not to argue because we'll need each other more than ever."Ofie's chin came down. She looked ready to strike a deal. "You'll let me borrow your b.u.t.terfly backpack?" I nodded. "And use your makeup?" My makeup? The pinkish lip gloss and a sparkly blush Sara had given me when we first got to Vermont. "Sure," I told her."How about your diary? Can I read it?" Well, Diary, I was about to say, No! But then I thought if I could leave this record behind for the whole world, surely I could let my own sister read it."Yes, I'll let you read my diary, okay?"Ofie threw her arms around me and almost knocked me over. That made Luby want to do the same thing. Suddenly, I had two not-so-little sisters hanging on me."We're going to Mexico! We're going to Mexico!" Luby and Ofie chanted, jumping up and down.I sighed with relief, until I looked across the room and saw the sadness on Tyler's face. I felt my heart folding up like a letter in a sealed envelope stamped Return to Sender. Return to Sender. Tyler would never know how much I was going to miss him, no matter how much fun we ended up having in Mexico. I would never find such a special friend again, one who would even name a star after me! Tyler would never know how much I was going to miss him, no matter how much fun we ended up having in Mexico. I would never find such a special friend again, one who would even name a star after me!Before he left today, he asked if there was any one thing I wanted to take with me. At first I said no, but after he was gone, I got to thinking. Yes, there is one thing.I know Grandma and Mrs. Paquette are packing up as much of our stuff as we can carry in the car. They're also planning to come down one more time before we actually leave Boston to say goodbye. But before we leave Vermont on Sunday, I want to go by the farm one last time. I want to see it in the early morning when the sun is coming up, how it sits so pretty in the gentle swell of the valley. The two farmhouses with the trailer between them and on the flat stretch behind the houses, the big red barn with the little cupolas that look like birdhouses. I want to watch the cows, black and white like scrambled puzzle pieces, coming in from the pasture to be milked, the swallows diving in and out of the open doors so fast that it's hard to follow their every move. And I want to see a boy coming out of the barn, hauling his new show calf that he is going to name Margarita after our hometown in Mexico. And then, I can leave, yes I can, because the place and the people I've grown to love will all be stored inside me and here on your pages, my dear Diary.