"Ha, did you suck it?"

This is making me uncomfortable. "I'm sorry, can I just...?" I do a little duck and point, the way Kaz does when she tries to get past someone.

This move doesn't work, so I try and push past the three of them, but they close up and push me back towards the sink, my spine b.u.mping uncomfortably against the edge.

"... can't believe it..."

"... bet he was thinking of someone else..."

"... not even that pretty..."

"... how did you manage it...?"

"... don't deserve..."

And I snap. I don't break like a twig under too much weight I explode like a bomb.

"Get the f.u.c.k away from me!" I lash out at the nearest one, trying to scare her off, but she dodges and the one next to her squeals at me to watch what I'm doing and palms me right in the chest, so that I'm squashed back between two sinks, my hips knocking painfully on the porcelain. I shove back. "Get away, get away!"

But this girl is the perfect picture of health and I am the smallest, the weakest, the least I have ever been and she easily manhandles me away from hurting her, yanking me round, her fingers curled painfully all the way around my arm.

My foot slips on the floor and I fall fast and awkwardly, cracking my head on the rim of the sink. There's an explosion of colours in my eyes and pain rips across my forehead.

"s.h.i.+t!" I don't know which one it is, because I'm lying on the floor, filthy water soaking into my lovely whimsical unicorn. Through half-closed eyes I see their feet as they hurry out of the door and I think they're going to get help until I hear one of them say, "... not get caught. Shut the door. Everyone'll think it's out of order."

And the door slams shut, leaving me in the dark.

KAZ.

The toilets here are relatively deserted possibly because half the cabins have OUT OF ORDER notices hanging off the doors. I look in all the open ones, ducking to check under the doors in case she's on the floor. Then I ask the attendant who watches people coming and going if she's seen my friend, but the woman just shrugs.

What exactly is the point of having an attendant?

I don't know what to do, so I get my phone out and check for the millionth time whether Ruby's called.

She hasn't.

I decide to call her. I count the rings, willing her to pick up, concentrating so hard that I almost miss the sound of an annoyingly familiar song...

RUBY.

Phone's ringing.

Where is it? Not in my hand. I open my eyes to see it lying next to me.

I think I'm reaching out to answer, but actually I'm not moving.

It stops, which is a relief. Don't have to worry about answering it.

My head is killing me.

KAZ.

I have to wait for the voicemail to play out before I dial again. This time I hold my phone away from my ear and listen for the ringtone.

There it is.

I look to my left and see a closed cabin, which I walk round, looking for Ruby.

The ringing stops and I wait. Dial again.

I have never been so pleased to hear that stupid song, and it's coming from inside the cabin next to me.

RUBY.

I really hope this is just concussion, because there is no way I'm dying.

Just no way.

I want to have s.e.x with Stu again. Lots.

I want to see my stupid brother get on a stupid plane.

I want to have another chance to mock Callum for something and to successfully dead-leg Ed.

I want to tell my parents that I love them, but I'm not resitting my GCSEs. They're enough for what I want to do with my life.

I want to see SkyFires again. They're going to be my new Gold'ntone, without the douchey lead singer. And I want to see the way that non-douchey lead singer looks at my best mate.

Above all, I want to know whatever it is that Stu thinks Kaz needs to tell me. No more secrets. Not between me and Kaz. Not any more.

38 * GROWING UP (FALLING DOWN)

KAZ.

The door is stiff and takes a hefty shove for me to open it the sun from outside spilling out in front of me onto a figure lying on the floor.

"Ruby..." Fear and horror and doubt and panic paralyse me for a second until I'm falling onto the floor next to her. There's blood smeared on the sink and a patch of red stickiness on her forehead that's crept down her nose and cheek so it looks as if she's been crying a trail of crimson tears.

That lesson we had in P.E. where we had to practise things like the recovery position and resuscitation was completely useless. I can't remember any of it.

"Don't you dare be dead, Ruby Kalinski!" Even saying the word is frightening, but as I say it, I see that she's breathing. My hand is shaking so much that I can't even enter the pin on my phone.

There's a croak on the floor next to me.

"Not dead. Just incredible pain..." Ruby opens one eye and looks up at me. "Hi."

And I burst into tears and press a desperate, grateful (and possibly unwise) kiss on her ear and tell her that I love her.

"You know I'm not dying, right?" she says. "Because you and I have some serious catching up to do."

RUBY.

Kaz helps me up and I tell her to call Lee although the opening she uses is not the wisest.

"I found her on the toilet floor. She's bleeding-"

I hear his response from a metre away. "OH MY G.o.d, IS SHE OK?"

I hold out the hand that's not around Kaz and she gives me her phone. "She's OK, Wee," I say.

"Good, because I'm going to kill you for scaring us like that. Why'd you run off, you loon?"

"I'm not so OK that I can answer that easily." My head is pounding and my thoughts are all jumbled about. "Are you with Stu?"

He isn't. Kaz calls Stu for me and hands me the phone. He answers almost immediately. "Have you found her?"

"She found me," I say with a smile.

There's a deep breath on the other end of the line. "Don't do that to me again, Ruby. Not ever. You understand? No matter what you're running from, can you just wait long enough so I can run with you?"

His words make me want to cry and I'm too all over the place to stop it happening, so I just nod furiously and hand the phone to Kaz to do the talking for me. She tells him that I'm nodding and that I must have done some serious damage to my head because I'm crying. In public. Or rather in a public toilet. And also I am smiling.

Kaz tells me he wants to say something and she holds the phone next to my face.

"I love you, Soho." His words in my ear ease the pain for a second. "I'll see you at the first-aid tent."

As Kaz helps me towards the doorway, I realize I've used too much energy talking to Lee and Stu and when we reach the steps, instead of walking down them, I sit on them. Following my lead, Kaz sits down too.

KAZ.

Ruby is paler than I've ever seen her. I would very much like to get her to the first-aid professionals sooner rather than later, but she obviously needs a rest. So obviously that she's now leaning on me, the non-b.l.o.o.d.y but distinctly damp side of her head resting on my shoulder.

"So Stu says you need to tell me something." She twists her head to look at me. "I'm guessing it's Tom-slash-Lauren related, so spill. In case I bleed out and die anyway."

I'd rather she didn't joke about that kind of thing.

"So you know on Friday?" I say. "When we had a ma.s.sive fight and you tried to tell me that Tom had a girlfriend and that he was over me?" Ruby does a nod-c.u.m-head loll. "Well, you were right about one of those things."