358.

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The scene repeated itself over and over again. Ashley and Landon were last.

Landon took hold of Elizabeth's hand. "You're a special woman; the things you've brought this family will live on long after you're gone."

Elizabeth gave him a weak smile. "Thank you, Landon. I'm so glad you didn't give up on Ashley. She needed you. She always will."

"I know." Landon's eyes were watery. He stepped back and Ashley took his place.

"Mom... how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine." She gave a slow shake of her head. "No pain. Just in here." Her fingers rested above her heart. "I don't want to leave you."

"I..." Ashley dabbed at her eyes. "I don't want to say goodbye, Mom. I don't know how."

"You don't have to, honey." She took Ashley's hand and brought it to her lips.

"We'll be together again; this is just a so long."

"But it's too long." Ashley hung her head before looking at Elizabeth again. "I was your black sheep." She sniffed and struggled for the words. "But you never gave up on me."

"That's what real love is about, Ash." Elizabeth looked past her to Landon. "But you already know that now." "Yes. I'm beginning to understand." "Ashley..."

"Yes?" Her tears splashed on Elizabeth's hospital gown. "Don't let Cole forget me, okay?"

"No one will ever forget you, Mom. You and Dad were the reason everything turned out okay."

"And God most of all."

"And God." Ashley smiled through her tears. "Of course, God."

"You know what I want to do when I get to heaven?"

John felt a wave of sobs building inside him, but he kept strong, letting Ashley have her moment.

359.

"What's that?" Ashley lowered herself closer.

"I want to start planning the next reunion. The one that will last forever and ever."

"Oh, Mom." Ashley hugged her. When she pulled back, the sorrow in her eyes wasn't as heartbreaking as before. As if maybe Elizabeth's words had eased some of the pain. "I can tell you one thing; we'll all be there."

Finally, he was alone with her.

The kids had all had their turns, and Ashley informed him of their plans. They were going back home to be with the children, and he was to call them if anything changed.

He took the better chair, the one closer to her bed. Every breath was a struggle, and the rattle was worse than before. Dr.

Steinman was right; she didn't have long before she left them. "Elizabeth..."

"Mmmm." She opened her eyes, and despite her condition, a knowing look shone through. "I'm not doing too well, am I?"

John smiled. He wanted to be strong, wanted to enjoy this last time with her.

The grieving could come later. "You're doing fine."

She swallowed, and the effort made her wince. "I have.., to tell you something, John."

"Okay." He cradled her arm against his chest, wishing he could cuddle up next to her but knowing she was too weak for that.

Her eyes opened wider than before. "I met him; I met our firstborn." She searched his eyes. She looked more lucid than she had all afternoon. "His name is Dayne."

John felt his stomach drop. What had the doctor said? Something about his son being here, sitting by Elizabeth's side for the past hour? It was impossible, wasn't it? Wherever their oldest 360.

REUNION.

son was, he never could've found them now, on Elizabeth's dy ing day. "Honey, what are you saying?"

"He came here, John." She sank back into the pillow and closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them, she looked confused again. "Unless it was a dream."

A dream. That had to be it. John felt himself relax. "Tell me about it."

"He was handsome, a lot like Luke. He said he was an actor, John. And that his parents were dead and he has no brothers or sisters." Her words were slurring and she struggled to keep her eyes open. "It didn't feel like a dream until the end. I thought he said he'd come back tomorrow."

An understanding passed over John. It wasn't a dream; it was the pain medications. Hallucinations were common for people dying of cancer, especially at the end. The combination of the body shutting down and the medications made people hear and see things that defied explanation.

That was obviously what had happened to Elizabeth. An actor named Dayne? She must've been thinking about Dayne Matthews, the man Luke had met at his office.

Somehow bits and pieces of the past few weeks had come together to give her the impression she'd met him and that he was her son.

5he was definitely hallucinating.

"I'm glad you met him, honey. That's what you prayed about." He decided to go along with her, so that these last few moments they had together wouldn't upset her. "Thanks for telling me.;' Her eyes opened big again. "Do you think I'm crazy, John?" "Not at all." He thought of the doctor's words again. That someone had been in with her for the past hour.

Probably some one from church, maybe even Pastor Mark. "I'm sure he came by, and I'm glad. Maybe I'll meet him when he comes Back."

"Yes." A wonderful peace came over her expression. "That would be nice."

"You're tired, aren't you?"

"Very tired."

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kingsbury smaley John's mind raced. He still had so much to tell her. Ten years worth of things at least. "You know what I wish?"

"What?" She looked at him, and despite the sickness and th{ medication and the exhaustion she was feeling, it was the sam look she'd given him at the University of Michigan mixer, the same look she'd given him a thousand times since. A look of love that would stay with him even after she was gone.

I wish-" he brought her hand to his lips and kissed it-"l wish 1 could go with you."

She shook her head, her eyes never leaving his. "The kids need you, John.

Besides ..." A choking sound came from her, and she waited until she'd caught her breath. "God wants me to go ahead and help get things ready."

"For what, sweet Elizabeth?"

"For what?" Her smile was timeless, one he would keep with him always. "For the greatest reunion ever."

"I love you." He'd told her that every day, several times a day, since the August morning when they married. But here, in her last moments, he couldn't say it enough.

I'll never really leave you, John." Each word was an effort. "You know that, right?"

"I know." He held her hand to his heart again. "You'll be right here, woven into the center of all I am."

"That's not all." Her eyes shone. "I'll be in Cole's grin and Jessie's silly dance steps and Tommy's bright blue eyes. You'll see me in Erin's mothering and Ashley's artwork and Luke's determination to do right." She exhaled and the rattle echoed through the room. "You'll feel me when you hold Maddie's hand and when any of them gives you a hug." She paused, gathering her strength. "If you listen, you'll hear me in Kari's laughter and Hayley's gentle cooing and Brooke's moments alone at the piano. I'll be there, John. I'll always be there."

She fell quiet then, and though he told her he loved her every minute or so, after a while she stopped responding. For hours he 362 REUNION.

watched her, watched every painful rise and fall of her chest, lis tened to her lungs shutting down, her life draining away.

Sometime around midnight, she drew her last breath, and John tightened his grip on her hand. But he couldn't hold her, couldn't keep her from going, from leaving this world and tak ing the sweet and wonderful trip into the next.

Relief filled his heart, flooded him with a feeling that was in describable. She wasn't in pain anymore, wasn't sickly or wast ing away or dying. She was with Jesus, because that was his promise. That those who love him will never taste death. John had expected to feel cut in half. Since she completed him, he had known that her loss would leave him feeling broken, as if he'd never be whole again.

Instead, he felt his heart swell with a fullness it had never known before, because Elizabeth was right. Her body was gone, but she would never leave him.

She would live on in the memo ries he would cherish, in the years and decades his family still had left together.

She would be around them always, and at the same time she'd be working on the special plans she'd talked about earlier to night. The greatest reunion of all, one that would see Hayley running the streets of heaven, and no more tears for anyone. One where all of them were together, healthy and happy, and praising the God who had given them eternity.

Forever and ever and ever.

363.

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO.

The SERVICE WAS OVER.

John had gotten through it on strength that wasn't his own. Each of the kids had been there, of course, bidding their mother goodbye, remembering her for the strong, graceful, loving woman she'd always been. According to her wishes, they had sung her favorite hymn: "Great is thy faithfulness, O God my Father, there is no shadow of turning with thee."

And there wasn't. God had been faithful to the end; John had no doubts, no questions. Pastor Mark had said some profound things at the service, bits of truth that would stay with John forever.

"Human suffering is too big to get our arms around." His face had been earnest.

"Don't try to figure out what God's teaching you by this, don't try to understand it, and don't try to understand God. If he could fit into your idea of him, he'd be too small for any of us."

John had sat mesmerized .as the message continued.

"All I want you to do today is run to Jesus. Being God, he alone fully understands both God and suffering. And right now 364 REUNION.

all he wants to do is let you cry." Pastor Mark's eyes shone. It was hard to imagine that ten days earlier he had married Ashley and Landon. "We never own the people in our lives. We love them, yes, but they are on loan from God. We have them for a moment and then they're gone. Go ahead and grieve, because you'll miss Elizabeth. We all will. But while you're grieving, don't get mad at God for the minutes you'll miss with Elizabeth. Thank him for the minutes you had."

That last part was the best of all.

Every time John was tempted to wonder why God would take her now, he would remind himself of those words and be thankful. Because the minutes he had with Elizabeth were the most wonderful of all.

They were back at the house now, gathered in the family room. The grandchildren were playing upstairs with a babysitter, and only Hayley was down with the adults. It was the moment John had been waiting for, the moment he'd told the kids about.

"Your mother has written you a letter, one that each of you will get a copy of."

He stood near the fireplace and looked around the room. The eyes of his children were somber, tearstained. But they were not without hope. "I'm going to read it to you now, because that's what your mother wanted me to do."

In his hand he held a manila envelope, the one Elizabeth had told him about.

Three smaller envelopes were inside, just as she'd said. One had his name on it, one was labeled "For the kids," and one read "Firstborn."

John took out the one for their kids and opened it.

"What about the other letters, the ones still in the envelope?" Ashley cocked her head, staring at the package in his hands.

"Uh..." John felt the blood leave his face, He hadn't counted on his kids noticing the other letters. "Those are for me."

He'd already read his letter three times; it was beautiful of course, more of what she'd told him her last night in the hospital. As for the other one, the one marked firstborn," he'd thought about throwing it away. But he couldn't. It was impor 365.

rant to Elizabeth, and what if one day-by some miracle-their son found them?

The letter would belong to him, in that case.

John made a mental note to keep the manila envelope well hidden. Maybe in the box of things Elizabeth had kept on the top shelf in their closet. If any of them ever found the envelope, he wouldn't have any idea how to explain it.

John looked at the letter in his hand and started reading: "'Dear children, if you're hearing this, then I'm already gone, already off in heaven. This has probably been a hard day for you, but please.., for a minute, try not to be sad.

I want you to know some things that are on my heart, things I don't ever want you to forget.' '

John paused. His throat was thick, but he felt a strength inside him, a sense that somehow Elizabeth was cheering him on from heaven, urging him to continue.

"'You are all so different, but now-as I near the end of my days-God has shown me a theme to our years together. That theme is redemption.'"