KOKO KLiNGEN--

"But even so...."

BETSY--

"No one to chew can find."

KOKO KLiNGEN--

"A raft sails by,"

BETSY--

"It cometh nigh; Two generals upon it...."

KOKO KLiNGEN--

"Two generals are we: By fate's hard decree, To this island we flee."

And then, the refrain--

"By fate's hard decree, To this island we flee."

LADY. Charmant!

BETSY. But just think how silly!

KOKO KLiNGEN. Yes, that's the charm of it!

LADY. And who is to be Aero?

BETSY. I am. And I have had a costume made, but mamma says it's "not decent." And it is not a bit less decent than a ball dress. (To THEODORE IVaNITCH.) Is Bourdier's man here?

THEODORE IVaNITCH. Yes, he is waiting in the kitchen.

LADY. Well, and how will you represent Aeronaut?

BETSY. Oh, you'll see. I don't want to spoil the pleasure for you. Au revoir.

LADY. Good-bye!

[They bow. Exit LADY.

BETSY (to KOKO KLiNGEN). Come up to mamma.

[BETSY and KOKO go upstairs. JACOB enters from servants'

quarters, carrying a tray with teacups, cakes, etc., and goes panting across the stage.

JACOB (to the FOOTMEN). How d'you do? How d'you do?

[FOOTMEN bow.

JACOB (to THEODORE IVaNITCH). Couldn't you tell Gregory to help a bit!

I'm ready to drop....

[Exit up the stairs.

FIRST FOOTMAN. That is a hard-working chap you've got there.

THEODORE IVaNITCH. Yes, a good fellow. But there now--he doesn't satisfy the mistress, she says his appearance is ungainly. And now they've gone and told tales about him for letting some peasants into the kitchen yesterday. It is a bad look-out: they may dismiss him. And he is a good fellow.

SECOND FOOTMAN. What peasants were they?

THEODORE IVaNITCH. Peasants that had come from our Koursk village to buy some land. It was night, and they were our fellow-countrymen, one of them the father of the butler's a.s.sistant. Well, so they were asked into the kitchen. It so happened that there was thought-reading going on. Something was hidden in the kitchen, and all the gentlefolk came down, and the mistress saw the peasants. There was such a row! "How is this," she says; "these people may be infected, and they are let into the kitchen!".... She is terribly afraid of this infection.

[Enter GREGORY.

THEODORE IVaNITCH. Gregory, you go and help Jacob. I'll stay here. He can't manage alone.

GREGORY. He's awkward, that's why he can't manage.

[Exit.

FIRST FOOTMAN. And what is this new mania they have got? This infection!... So yours also is afraid of it?

THEODORE IVaNITCH. She fears it worse than fire! Our chief business, nowadays, is fumigating, washing, and sprinkling.

FIRST FOOTMAN. I see. That's why there is such a stuffy smell here.

(With animation.) I don't know what we're coming to with these infection notions. It's just detestable! They seem to have forgotten the Lord. There's our master's sister, Princess Mosolova, her daughter was dying, and, will you believe it, neither father nor mother would come near her! So she died without their having taken leave of her.

And the daughter cried, and called them to say good-bye--but they didn't go! The doctor had discovered some infection or other! And yet their own maid and a trained nurse were with her, and nothing happened to them; they're still alive!

[Enter VASiLY LEONiDITCH and PETRiSTCHEF from VASiLY LEONiDITCH'S room, smoking cigarettes.

PETRiSTCHEF. Come along then, only I must take Koko--Cocoanut, with me.

VASiLY LEONiDITCH. Your Koko is a regular dolt; I can't bear him. A hare-brained fellow, a regular gad-about! Without any kind of occupation, eternally loafing around! Eh, what?

PETRiSTCHEF. Well, anyhow, wait a bit, I must say goodbye.

VASiLY LEONiDITCH. All right. And I will go and look at my dogs in the coachman's room. I've got a dog there that's so savage, the coachman said, he nearly ate him.

PETRiSTCHEF. Who ate whom? Did the coachman really eat the dog?

VASiLY LEONiDITCH. You are always at it!

[Puts on outdoor things and goes out.

PETRiSTCHEF (thoughtfully). Ma - kin - tosh, Co - co - tin.... Let's see.