[Enter TaNYA, who hides behind the hangings.

LEONiD FYoDORITCH. Only remember that we cannot reckon on any results with certainty, with this medium any more than with Home or Kaptchitch. We may not succeed, but on the other hand we may even have perfect materialisation.

SAHaTOF. Materialisation even? What do you mean by materialisation?

LEONiD FYoDORITCH. Why, I mean that some one who is dead--say, your father or your grandfather--may appear, take you by the hand, or give you something; or else some one may suddenly rise into the air, as happened to Alexey Vladimiritch last time.

PROFESSOR. Of course, of course. But the chief thing is the explanation of the phenomena, and the application to them of general laws.

[Enter the FAT LADY.

FAT LADY. Anna Pavlovna has allowed me to join you.

LEONiD FYoDORITCH. Very pleased.

FAT LADY. Oh, how tired Grossman seems! He could scarcely hold his cup. Did you notice (to the PROFESSOR) how pale he turned at the moment he approached the hiding-place? I noticed it at once, and was the first to mention it to Anna Pavlovna.

PROFESSOR. Undoubtedly,--loss of vital energy.

FAT LADY. Yes, it's just as I say, one should not abuse that sort of thing. You know, a hypnotist once suggested to a friend of mine, Vera Konshin (oh, you know her, of course)--well, he suggested that she should leave off smoking,--and her back began to ache!

PROFESSOR (trying to have his say). The temperature and the pulse clearly indicate....

FAT LADY. One moment! Allow me! Well, I said to her: it's better to smoke than to suffer so with one's nerves. Of course, smoking is injurious; I should like to give it up myself, but, do what I will, I can't! Once I managed not to smoke for a fortnight, but could hold out no longer.

PROFESSOR (again trying to speak). Clearly proves....

FAT LADY. Yes, no! Allow me, just one word! You say, "loss of strength." And I was also going to say that, when I travelled with post-horses ... the roads used to be dreadful in those days--you don't remember--but I have noticed that all our nervousness comes from railways! I, for instance, can't sleep while travelling; I cannot fall asleep to save my life!

PROFESSOR (makes another attempt, which the FAT LADY baffles). The loss of strength....

SAHaTOF (smiling). Yes; oh yes!

[LEONiD FYoDORITCH rings.

FAT LADY. I am awake one night, and another, and a third, and still I can't sleep!

[Enter GREGORY.

LEONiD FYoDORITCH. Please tell Theodore to get everything ready for the seance, and send Simon here--Simon, the butler's a.s.sistant,--do you hear?

GREGORY. Yes, sir.

[Exit.

PROFESSOR (to SAHaTOF). The observation of the temperature and the pulse have shown loss of vital energy. The same will happen in consequence of the mediumistic phenomena. The law of the conservation of energy....

FAT LADY. Oh yes, yes; I was just going to say that I am very glad that a simple peasant turns out to be a medium. That's very good. I always did say that the Slavophils....

LEONiD FYoDORITCH. Let's go into the drawing-room in the meantime.

FAT LADY. Allow me, just one word! The Slavophils are right; but I always told my husband that one ought never to exaggerate anything!

"The golden mean," you know. What is the use of maintaining that the common people are all perfect, when I have myself seen....

LEONiD FYoDORITCH. Won't you come into the drawing-room?

FAT LADY. A boy--that high--who drank! I gave him a scolding at once.

And he was grateful to me afterwards. They are children, and, as I always say, children need both love and severity!

[Exeunt all, all talking together.

[TaNYA enters from behind the hangings.

TaNYA. Oh, if it would only succeed!

[Begins fastening some threads.

[Enter BETSY hurriedly.

BETSY. Isn't papa here? (Looks inquiringly at TaNYA.) What are you doing here?

TaNYA. Oh, Miss Elizabeth, I have only just come; I only wished ...

only came in....

[Embarra.s.sed.

BETSY. But they are going to have a seance here directly (Notices TaNYA drawing in the threads, looks at her, and suddenly bursts out laughing.) Tanya! Why, it's you who do it all? Now don't deny it. And last time it was you too? Yes, it was, it was!

TaNYA. Miss Elizabeth, dearest!

BETSY (delighted). Oh, that is a joke! Well, I never. But why do you do it?

TaNYA. Oh miss, dear miss, don't betray me!

BETSY. Not for the world! I'm awfully glad. Only tell me how you manage it?

TaNYA. Well, I just hide, and then, when it's all dark, I come out and do it. That's how.

BETSY (pointing to threads). And what is this for? You needn't tell me. I see; you draw....

TaNYA. Miss Elizabeth, darling! I will confess it, but only to you. I used to do it just for fun, but now I mean business.

BETSY. What? How? What business?

TaNYA. Well, you see, those peasants that came this morning, you saw them. They want to buy some land, and your father won't sell it; well, and Theodore Ivanitch, he says it's the spirits as forbid him. So I have had a thought as....

BETSY. Oh, I see! Well, you are a clever girl! Do it, do it.... But how will you manage it?

TaNYA. Well, I thought, when they put out the lights, I'll at once begin knocking and shying things about, touching their heads with the threads, and at last I'll take the paper about the land and throw it on the table. I've got it here.