Danny smiled. "I told her you did. She shook her finger and told me to go milk the cows."

Levi and his cousins sat on the sofas and the floor. Rebecca didn't surrender her wall while they sang Christmas songs even though she looked like she'd rather be anywhere else. After "Silent Night," she grabbed Linda's hand and they bolted into the kitchen. Linda brought out hot cocoa and whoopie pies while Rebecca stayed hidden.

After everyone had cocoa, cousin John stood up. "Merry Christmas to you. May the good Lord bless you in the coming year."

Rebecca's mamm didn't try to stand, but she held out her hand to John. "Lord willing. Thank you for coming."

Each cousin stood and took her hand before walking out the front door. When it was Levi's turn, she pulled him toward her until he felt compelled to kneel beside her rocker. She stared into Levi's face and patted his hand. "Come and visit us again," she said. "We could use some cheering up around here."

Levi smiled weakly and nodded. He could use some cheering up too. But unless Rebecca quit ignoring him or her fater softened his heart, he held out little hope.

As the group moved on down the driveway, Levi stopped to lift a petal from the snow. He rubbed it between his fingers and thought of Rebecca's silky skin. The longing to feel her hand in his overwhelmed every other sense. He didn't even notice the cold.

The front door opened, and the light from within cast a shimmering glow on the snow. Danny leaped down the stairs and held out a small brown box to Levi.

"What's this?" Levi asked.

"It's a Christmas present," Danny said. "Rebecca threw it in the trash, and I was spying. I kept it because I thought someday she might be sad she threw it away." He stared at Levi with a mixture of childlike innocence and wisdom beyond his years. "I think you should have it. Merry Christmas."

Levi took the box from him, and Danny ran back into the house.

The cousins were already far down the road.

"You coming?" John yelled.

"I'll catch up," Levi said.

"Don't get lost," said John. "Dawdi will scold me if you never come back."

Levi loosened the crudely tied ribbon from around the box and lifted the lid. Inside was a small pile of tickets and papers. He picked up the top one.

DECEMBER 15. ALL-DAY SKI PASS. ROCKY SPINE SKI RESORT.

Levi felt his legs go weak. He stumbled to the porch steps and sat down before he collapsed into a heap in the snow.

December fifteenth. The day Rebecca decided to hate him. The worst day of his life-and he'd had some pretty bad ones. He pulled out the next ticket.

FOXFIRE BOTANICAL GARDENS. A receipt for one hosta plant was taped to the ticket. Warmth spread through Levi's body as he remembered the way Rebecca cradled that plant like a baby. That was the day she drove his car into a gulley. He cringed as the memory of Rebecca's pale face and bleeding head assaulted him.

In addition to the Mt. Olympus amusement park ticket, Rebecca had kept the snapshot Uncle Joe had given her of his backyard. Levi smiled.

A small plastic bag full of sand. A pressed wildflower. And the movie ticket from their very first date. Levi unfolded a large piece of paper underneath the tickets.

THE TETANUS IMMUNIZATION AND YOU-WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW.

Levi pressed the paper to his chest and chuckled. Why she would ever want to remember that experience, he'd never know.

The dry remains of several rose petals lay in the bottom of the box. Levi thought the lining of the box was crinkled, but when he looked closer, he realized it was a piece of notepaper clinging to the bottom.

He tipped the box upside down, and the paper fell into his hand.

Live in my very own house.

Plant an acre of roses.

Make Fater love me again.

And in very small letters in a different color of pen- Kiss Levi Cooper.

Levi set Rebecca's things on the porch step as if they had burned him. He shouldn't have opened that box. Rebecca had a right to keep her deepest wishes and dreams private.

Kiss Levi Cooper.

Those three words made him almost giddy, as if he were soaring effortlessly above the tallest mountains. Despite all her protests, he held a place in her heart. Or at least he had before she found out the truth about him.

Levi looked at the pile of tickets and papers, picked up her list, and read it again. All Rebecca wanted was a little love. She was not only going physically hungry in this house, she was also starving for affection. Tears stung Levi's eyes. All he wanted to do was love her. Why wouldn't she let him?

He quickly stuffed the tickets and petals and memories into the box, put the lid on, and took it with him as he sprinted down the driveway. He wanted to get far enough away before anyone heard the sobs that threatened to overtake him.

Why wouldn't she let him love her?

Chapter Thirty-Three.

Levi sat on the hard bench wedged between two old men. His first Amish wedding. The groom hadn't stopped smiling since the service began. Levi had never seen any two people so happy. The groom couldn't keep his eyes off his bride. He gazed at her and grinned through four songs, two long sermons, and a prayer. However, Levi's attention was divided between the ecstatic groom and the face of Rebecca Miller, who was sitting across the room with her back rigid and a frown pasted on her face. The sight of her always stole his breath and his reason.

It had been five weeks since the skiing trip, and still she refused to see him. At least he held hope that she would not bolt from the wedding. Someone had told him that she was related to the bride.

Finally the bishop invited the bride and groom to stand. Levi didn't catch much of the ceremony itself. High German had completely escaped his memory. But the adoration and joy radiating from the bride and groom were evident enough as they stood clutching hands while the bishop performed the ceremony. When he finished, the couple sat down. Levi was a little disappointed. No kiss.

Tears coursed down the bride's cheeks. The groom looked only slightly more composed. Ultimate joy, it seemed, was difficult to contain.

Levi let his gaze return to Rebecca. He would have to thank the groom profusely for inviting him, for giving him a chance to stare at the girl he loved without her hiding her face in disgust. Being new to the community, Levi hadn't expected to attend the wedding, but the groom had insisted he come. The groom, Nathaniel King, was Levi's new employer.

Another prayer and a song. The large room, built with a temporary addition for the occasion, echoed with the music of hundreds of voices. Levi estimated there must have been over three hundred people stuffed into the limited space.

As soon as the last strains of the song floated up to the rafters, the place exploded into action. Everyone jumped to their feet. Levi saw Rebecca lead her mamm to a padded chair then bustle out of the room with the other women. Her mother looked as frail as ever, moving slowly and painfully to her seat.

Some of the men began setting up tables between the benches. The whole operation ran like a well-oiled machine, but Levi couldn't discover anyone in particular to be in charge.

He approached a middle-aged man and offered his help with the tables. The man looked doubtful for a fraction of a second then smiled and motioned for Levi to follow. The man's hesitation wasn't unexpected. Levi had encountered it many times in the last five weeks, mostly at gmay. Understandably, some of the community regarded him with suspicion as an outsider. Some in the district had other misgivings. Surely many of them knew about his part in the accident. Did they forgive him or hold him in contempt like Rebecca did?

Anger at his father reared its ugly head, as it did every time Levi thought of that night. He pushed the feeling aside and squared his shoulders. The Lord had forgiven him, and he had forgiven himself. He could only hope that the others would offer mercy and that Rebecca would offer her heart. He would show her, prove his worth. He could not bear if she, in the end, condemned him. Hope was the only thread he had left.

In the meantime, he would endure whatever rejection she chose to heap upon him. What else could he do? He loved her.

Levi and another man grabbed either end of a table leaning against the wall. Levi looked up to see Marvin Yutzy sharing his table.

Marvin frowned, averted his eyes, and acted as if he were setting up the table by himself. As soon as they placed the table, Marvin disappeared into the crowd. Levi almost smiled. There was absolutely no hope for a friendly relationship with Marvin. Not when Levi was trying to steal Marvin's girl.

The bride and groom sat at one of the tables surrounded by family and friends. About eighty people fit around the tables. They would have to eat in shifts. Levi guessed that was already part of the plan.

Once people settled onto the seats, teenage girls and young couples brought out heavenly smelling dishes of turkey and stuffing, cooked celery, mashed potatoes, and cabbage rolls. Levi leaned against the wall and never took his eyes from Rebecca as she dished up mashed potatoes from a huge serving bowl that Linda carried. He sighed in exasperation and admiration. Rebecca would never let something as trivial as one hand stop her from thrusting in her sickle. Could she not betray the slightest weakness?

She must have felt his gaze upon her because she glanced up and locked eyes with him. Only for a second. Then, frowning, she looked away and never let her eyes stray to his side of the room again. She liked to pretend he didn't exist.

The ache overpowered him, and he couldn't resist. He strode forward and tapped Linda on the shoulder.

"Levi," Linda said, glancing at Rebecca and blushing.

Rebecca scowled but didn't let his closeness distract her. She dished up potatoes with determined efficiency. But was she holding her breath?

"Do you know who you are coupled-up with for the singing?" Linda said.

Levi shook his head.

"Mamm says you are joining the church. I am very glad."

"That looks like a heavy bowl. Aren't your arms tired?" Levi said.

"Ach, sure are. But Rebecca cannot do it by herself."

"Here," he said, lifting the bowl out of Linda's arms. "I will help Rebecca."

Linda flashed a perplexed expression. "Okay, I guess. I don't like serving." She skipped off in the direction of three boys standing by the window.

Rebecca glared at him with hooded eyes. "What do you think you are doing?"

Even though the ache was deep, he still felt elation at standing so close to her. "I'm helping the poor, one-armed girl since she won't let people with two arms carry their weight."

"Everyone around here pulls his weight."

"This way, you can't run and hide. I'll hold your potatoes hostage."

"My mamm and the bride's mamm are sisters. I have to be here. Or believe me, the minute I saw you come strutting in here, I would have been headed to the next county." Rebecca plopped a dollop of potatoes onto the next plate.

Levi gave her a weak smile. "Thank goodness for cousins, then."

"Why do you bother me? There are plenty of girls here who want a try with you-all staring at you like you were the archangel himself. It's sickening."

"I hadn't noticed."

"You never do." Using her spoon as a pointer, she motioned to his clothes. "What game do you think you are playing?"

"I'm not playing a game, Rebecca. As soon as I finish baptism classes, I'll be baptized."

"And leave the Englisch world for this dull existence?"

"You think it's dull?"

"Don't you?"

"It's not frantic like Englisch life, if that's what you mean. But peaceful is not the same thing as dull. It's basic living. And people here are happy."

He gazed at her until she looked away.

"You do not have to bring a rose every day," she said.

"Would you prefer every other day?"

"I would prefer not at all."

"You deserve a thousand roses."

"I deserve nothing," she said, so quietly Levi had to strain to hear.

"Are you kidding? You are the reason I'm here, kid. I'm making myself better for you. I want to be with you."

"I can never forget Dottie Mae," she said, her voice cracking.

His hand brushed hers as she reached for another spoonful of potatoes. Her touch felt heavenly. "I don't want you to forget, but I'm begging you to forgive," he said.

"I'm dating Marvin," she said, pulling from his touch. "I'm not interested."

Trying to quell the sting of jealousy, Levi took the spoon from her fingers and placed it in the now-empty bowl. "I love you like no one is capable of loving you, Rebecca. So until you marry Marvin or some other guy you don't really love, there will be a rose at your doorstep every morning. Because you deserve it and I still have hope."

The urge to kiss her attacked all five senses and two or three he didn't know he had. Levi turned on his heels and walked away with her empty bowl and spoon.

He looked like an idiot. He felt like one too.

Rebecca marched back to the kitchen to get another plate of-anything. And another spoon. Levi had stolen her spoon too. Why didn't he go back where he belonged, to Tara and his old car and the alcohol? He didn't deserve to be here, where people treated him kindly and acted as if nothing had happened.

She tripped past her cousin Kate, who was the bride, and Miriam Bontrager, another cousin, deep in conversation. Rebecca forced a smile. This was a wedding, for heaven's sake. She'd better put on a happy face for the happy couple. Kate and Miriam made a beeline toward Rebecca the minute they saw her.

"Rebecca, wait," Kate said.

Being careful of her injured arm, first Miriam and then Kate gave Rebecca hugs.

Rebecca's sour mood softened in Kate's embrace. Her cousin accepted and loved everyone freely. "Oh, Kate, I am so happy for you."