"So, it is gute I am sitting here with you while Marvin is at the table with Max and Danny and Linda, telling them how records are kept on dairy cows."

"Jah, very gute. I would hate to have you insult Marvin's cows."

"I wish he would not come," Rebecca said. "It is too cold for him to stay outside all afternoon, and when he is in the house, I cannot get any work done for his talking."

"Levi came to work on the farm," Mamm said. "Marvin, it seems, comes to work on you."

"Levi let me be." Rebecca's voice broke. "Marvin loves the sound of his own voice."

Mamm did not take her eyes from Rebecca's face. "You seem so blue. I have St. John's wort if you want to take some."

"Nae, I am fine. Do not worry about me."

Mamm pursed her lips. "I saw this coming. I should have done more to stop it. But he made you so happy."

"My feelings do not matter. I will do my duty."

"Your happiness matters very much."

"Enough for you to see me marry an Englischer and leave the community?"

Mamm didn't answer.

"You see, my happiness is not that important."

"I do not think marrying this Englischer will make you happy in the long run," Mamm said.

"Of course you are right, but it does not matter what will make me happy. I will always care for you, Mamm." Rebecca decided she might like the conversation in the kitchen better. "I will go to see if Linda has started the dishes and come fetch your plate when you are done."

She bent over and kissed her mamm on the forehead then trudged out of the room, leaving her plate with the food untouched.

Chapter Thirty.

She opened the door before he knocked. There he stood, as if summoned from her store of good memories, with a rose in his hand and an irresistible smile on his face.

"You're even more beautiful than I remember," Levi said.

Rebecca leaped forward and almost bowled him over when she threw her arms around his neck. Let Fater chastise and Max tease her. She didn't care. She could have tucked herself right next to his heart and died there.

"Hey, kid," he said softly as he wrapped his arms as far around her as they would go.

She melted into his warm embrace.

"We don't even have to go skiing," Levi said. "I would rather just stand like this all day." He stroked the braid that she had fashioned under her white beanie. She breathed in his clean scent as they stood holding each other.

"Me too." She didn't want to face the inevitable end.

After a few glorious minutes, Levi broke contact. He handed her the rose and took her hand. "Let's get going," he said. "This is what we've both been waiting for."

Encased in a white ski suit that Levi had borrowed from...she couldn't remember who, Rebecca felt as if she were made of marshmallows-roly-poly with lots of padding. The boots, skis, and poles were rentals, which she had insisted on paying for. She hadn't saved up all that money for nothing. Besides, Levi usually paid for everything.

With her hands buried in thick gloves, she clutched her ski poles in case they decided to leap out of her hands and leave her defenseless against the formidable hill. The bunny hill, Levi called it, but there was nothing cute and cuddly about it.

The only good thing about her day so far-no, the only gloriously wonderful thing about her day so far-was that after fifty-eight long days, she got to see Levi. How could she bear to be out of his sight ever again?

The long two months of Levi's exile had been what Rebecca imagined hell to be like.

Hell is knowing what might have been.

"Remember the wedge. Keep your knees apart. That'll slow you down. Then widen it out when you need to stop."

Levi had already made her watch the ski movie at the lodge, where she mostly stared at Levi instead of the screen. He wouldn't even think of letting her on a chairlift until he spent a half hour on the flatland teaching her what to do on the slopes. She was ready to go. Terrified, but ready.

"Don't go too fast," he warned. "I'll be right beside you." He practically glowed with excitement. "Breathe, kid. This is what you've waited for. Enjoy it."

She looked into his eyes to see if he was teasing. Nope. He brimmed with enthusiasm. Was he no longer worried she'd get hurt? Or was he ready to move on with his own life?

The despair that had been her constant companion these two months reemerged. She did not want to move on with her life. She wanted things to be exactly as they had been-with Levi, not Marvin, coming to the farm every Wednesday and her Friday nights filled with marvelous and horrifying adventures. She could bear anything if Levi was with her.

Instead, this was quite possibly the last day she would ever see him, and he acted happy about it.

Holding her breath, she pushed herself over the crest of the hill and slid slowly toward the bottom. She squealed weakly in panic as she gained speed, but her intense focus left no energy for a hearty scream. As promised, Levi stayed glued to her side, as closely as possible without getting their skis tangled. She teetered three times on the way down but didn't fall. Snow from other people's skis whipped her face, but her own efforts didn't kick up much ice. So be it. Skiing like a snail was still skiing.

Dodging several small children, she let her momentum take her all the way to the fence at the bottom of the hill. She took a deep breath as she swiped snow from her goggles. Although she wouldn't break any speed records, at least she'd made it down without crashing.

Levi growled and wrapped her in a bear hug. "You did it! What did you think?"

"It was fun," she said.

He laughed as if she had told the funniest joke in the world. "That's what I like to hear. Pure, unadulterated lying. So, can we go now?"

"We just got here."

"We came, we skied. Good enough for me."

She tried to make her voice sound carefree. "Trying to get rid of me?"

"I'd rather spend every hour of this day staring at you instead of fearing for your life. When we get out of here, the weight of the whole mountain will lift from my shoulders."

"It's been a very heavy weight, hasn't it? Dragging me around the state, babysitting my every move." she said.

"I've loved every minute of it. Except the times you almost died."

She couldn't match his high spirits. His behavior didn't make sense unless he was very happy to be rid of her.

He led her to a group of benches near a small shack that housed a refreshment stand. "Would you like some hot chocolate?"

"Jah," she said, maneuvering her skis so she could sit. "A nice break before we go back out."

He rolled his eyes, released his skis, and stabbed his poles into the snow. "I'll be right back." He looked back at her as he walked away and flashed her a smile that melted the snow ten feet in every direction.

"The Amish girl skis too?"

Rebecca turned to see Tara in a sleek black snowsuit with an electric blue beanie. She studied Rebecca with that devil-may-care look Rebecca had seen more times than she cared to remember. "First time skiing?" she said.

"Yes," Rebecca said.

"I figured," Tara said. "Levi's never done the bunny hill in his life."

"It was fun," Rebecca said. "Do you ski the bunny hill too?"

Tara laughed at Rebecca's ignorance. "I'm an instructor. I live at the lodge all winter and teach little kids how to ski. You did pretty well, but you need to loosen up. Stay as stiff as a board and you'll wipe out every time."

"Levi told me. It is easier said than done."

"The skiing was probably Levi's idea, huh? He loves to ski. We came up all the time last winter. I'm kinda surprised you're still dating. Nothing personal, but Amish girls aren't really his type."

"As you have said before."

"I guess maybe a guilty conscience keeps him around," Tara said.

Against her better judgment, Rebecca took the bait. "What do you mean?"

"He hasn't told you, has he? Isn't that just like a guy? Get what they can and lie to you while doing it."

"He has told me about the things he used to do."

"You don't know the worst, Becky. Believe me, if you did, you'd have been long gone by now," Tara said. "Levi is not the good guy you think he is. He's been in lots of trouble. Lots."

Rebecca wouldn't give Tara the satisfaction of thinking she was the least bit curious. Levi's face was an open book. He couldn't hide anything from her.

"Like a week after his dad packed up and moved to Chicago, Levi raided the liquor his dad had left behind, and he and three friends got stinking drunk," Tara said. "He hated his dad so bad."

He still does.

"Levi has told me all about his drinking," Rebecca said. "He hasn't had a drink in almost five months."

"That's not the worst of it."

Rebecca looked up. Levi trudged toward her empty-handed. She recognized the moment he caught sight of Tara. Quickening his pace, he closed the distance between them in record time.

"Tara," he said. "You worked at a different resort last year." He stood next to Rebecca and popped his boots into his skis.

"Didn't expect to see me?"

Levi tried to ignore his old girlfriend. "Sorry about the hot chocolate, Rebecca. The machine broke."

Rebecca stood up. "That's okay. It's better I don't risk spilling it."

Levi put his hand on Rebecca's elbow. "Nice to see you, Tara. We're going now."

"I just got off," Tara said. "If you want, Rebecca, I'll take you on one of the steeper runs. Not real hard, but better than this Mickey Mouse hill."

"No, that's okay, Tara," Levi said. "We were leaving."

Tara glared at Levi. "You have this bad habit of answering for Rebecca when she should answer for herself. What do you say, Rebecca? I'm a good instructor. I can show you what to do."

Rebecca should have declined Tara's offer immediately. But Levi's cheerful mood had left Rebecca completely out of sorts. Every smile, every gesture made her want to lash out at him. Didn't he care that this was their last day together?

"I would like to do something a little faster," she said.

"Okay," Tara said. "We'll do Backbone Ridge."

"No way, Tara," Levi protested. "It's too hard for Rebecca."

"Now you're telling her what she can and can't do? You're such a jerk, Levi."

Rebecca should have defended Levi and backed out of this stupid plan. Levi, always so careful, knew what she could handle.

Shouldn't their last day together be filled with good memories?

Jah, there would be memories. Memories of Levi's couldn't-behappier face when he told her good-bye forever. Memories of her burying her head in the pillow, trying to shut out the sound of his voice in her head.

Gliding on their skis, they followed Tara to the chairlift.

"You need about two more weeks of skiing before you try this," Levi said.

"I don't have two weeks."

"I promised your fater I would keep you safe, kid. If you get hurt, he's never going to trust me again."

Rebecca pushed aside her irritation. "It doesn't matter what Tara says. I want to do a steeper hill. The kids' hill doesn't really count as skiing to me."

Levi looked away and let out a deep breath. "I knew you'd say that."

"We can take it slow. Then we can get ourselves lost at the bottom so Tara can't find us."

He looked up the hill to the top of the run-probably calculating how far she was likely to fall. "Okay," he said. "If you promise to do the snowplow thing the entire way down."