He'd kissed me.

Avian had kissed me.

More importantly, he'd told me he loved me and that he was ready to fight to stay alive; to stay with me.

He wanted to fight for me.

I felt as though I was floating on cloud nine, way above the blue sky and amongst the stars; I had spent the entire weekend over at his place, mainly because I had had to bake cookies with Lexi on Sat.u.r.day, but then I had spent the rest of the day hanging out with Avian in his room. We talked about a lot of things, most of them random facts we never knew about each other like the fact that Avian hated icing sugar, and at birthday parties when he was younger, he would sc.r.a.pe the icing off and discreetly throw it into the bin.

I told him that I never liked bouncy castles, and was afraid I'd lose control and bounce around like some crazy ping pong ball.

Avian told me that he didn't do cotton candy – I was frankly just appalled at that one; I mean, who doesn't eat cotton candy? Weirdo – and that he just never understood why it was so popular.

We had stayed up all night like this, just having random conversations…

…oh, and random make-out sessions too; I would be explaining something to Avian, and he'd just randomly lean over and shut me up with kisses all over my face.

For so long, I had thought what Alex and I had had was truly love; but it paled in comparison to what I felt for Avian when I thought about him, the b.u.t.terflies that kicked in when he held my hand and when he kissed me.

His mother, however, had no idea and thought we were just friends; after all, that is what I told her when Lexi yelled out that I was his girlfriend, so I had to sleep in the guest room. Avian kept saying that his mother wouldn't mind and that she was an understanding parent, but after seeing just how strict Mrs. Carter was, I didn't want to risk being caught leaving his room; he snuck into the guest room though, and we stayed up all night once again, talking about random topics.

And making out.

The question though, was what was I to him?

He had said that he was in love with me, so did that automatically mean that we were dating? For Alex, he'd asked me out on a proper date and we had gone out to dinner, so what did that mean for Avian and me?

Did he have to take me out for me to be his girlfriend?

I mean, I loved Avian, and he loved me; nothing else mattered right?

I pulled out a carton of orange juice from the fridge for Mrs. Carter and walked over to hand it to her. She thanked me, pouring a gla.s.s for herself and going back to her newspaper; I sipped my tea silently and watched her from the corner of my eye.

Mrs. Carter had been nice to me all weekend, but I wasn't exactly sure she trusted me that much, so I was still on edge around her; I finished my breakfast quickly and rinsed off my plates, before placing them in the dishwasher.

"Shay?" I heard my name and glanced up toward Avian's mom; she was smiling warmly at me "could you please get Avian up? He has an appointment in an hour"

"Sure thing, Mrs. Carter"

"I'm still not sure why he even agreed to do the treatment again," she stared at me, her brows raised knowingly. I cleared my throat and shook my head nervously, avoiding her gaze. She dragged her gaze back to the newspaper, turning the page with a smile "Huh"

I got out of there as fast as I could, my face heating up in embarra.s.sment as I raced up the stairs.

Did she know? She had sounded extremely suspicious like she knew something and just wanted us to admit to it; I walked towards Avian's room, so he could convince his mother that nothing was going on between us, which there was, but she didn't need to know that.

I opened the door quietly, peeking my head around the wooden frame; the room was extremely dim and dark, probably because he had turned off all the lights and closed his drapes. Shaking my head in disbelief, I walked over to his windows and pulled the drapes apart.

"Rise and s.h.i.+ne," I said with a smirk, walking over to his bedside table to turn the lamp on. Avian didn't answer, he just ignored me and continued sleeping. Rolling my eyes, I pulled up his covers and lay on the bed next to him, before whispering in his ear "you have a doctor's appointment at 3"

Avian didn't reply and I frowned, wondering why he was ignoring me.

Did he change his mind? Was he back to the 'I want to die' phase?

What did he want from me?

"Avian, come on" I pushed and he rolled over on to his side lifelessly, his eyes remaining closed. I stared at his face and noticed just how pale he looked now compared to how he had been yesterday.

My breathing constricted as I poked him again.

"Avian?"

Avian didn't answer, just lay still.

Still and lifeless.

"Avian?" my voice came out a lot more urgent this time, and I shook him vigorously; he still did not reply, his arms flailing lifelessly around him.

I blinked in shock.

Running out of the room, I raced down the stairs and into the kitchen where Mrs. Carter was still reading her morning newspaper.

"He's not moving" I said, completely out of breath as I looked at her anxiously; Mrs. Carter shot out of her seat like a lightning bolt, and hurried past me. I followed her up the stairs, and back into Avian's room.

"Sweetheart?" I heard his mom say as she knelt next to him on the bed. When Avian didn't respond, she felt for his temperature and then checked his pulse.

"He has an extremely high temperature, and a weak pulse"

I stood there in shock and stared at Avian's lifeless body laying on the bed.

"Shay," his mom snapped her fingers in my face and my head snapped toward her "I know you're in shock but you need to pay attention, okay?"

I nodded slowly, and walked over to Avian's other side, pulling out my phone and calling for an ambulance. His mom started whispering soft words to him, and stroked his hair, telling him to hang in there.

After a few minutes, we heard the ambulance in the distance and his mom got off the bed, yanking me toward her.

"Check his pulse now and then, and keep him company," she said sharply, before disappearing out the door to meet the paramedics.

I stared at Avian, the shock still in full effect as I slowly walked over to where he lay on the bed; silently, I pulled his head into my lap and ran my hands through his hair.

"You're going to be okay" I murmured as I stroked his hair "I love you, Avian Carter," I said, a lump rising in my throat "we'll get through this"

Avian didn't reply and the tears brimmed in my eyes; silently, I checked for his pulse, mimicking what his mom had done.

I didn't feel anything.

I searched once more and when I still didn't feel it, I put my hand under his nose.

He'd stopped breathing.