Nine, however, is the generally accepted figure, and the poet shows such a strong animus that we can scarcely accept his counter-statement. Nine would have suited the requirements of his metre as well as three, and we can only conclude that the fraction he took was one of his own devising.

"The three tailors of Tooley Street" achieved lasting fame, it will be remembered, by sending a pet.i.tion to Parliament commencing, "We, the people of England."

The cobbler, and eke his wife, share in the immortality that popular proverbs go far to confer. It will be remembered how, as an ill.u.s.tration of the general inconsistency and unexpectedness of things, "The cobbler's wife is the worst shod." "She goeth broken shoone and torne hoses," says a mediaeval bard, "but," as may be expected from the general unaccountableness of such matters, "Who is worse shod than the shoemaker's wife, With shops full of new shooes all the days of her life?" Cobblers pursue a steady and somewhat monotonous business which seems to favour reflection, and the followers of the craft have supplied from their ranks not a few famous men. It will be remembered, however, how in one case a rebuke became necessary, when the cobbler in question criticised adversely a shoe-latchet in one of the pictures of Apelles.

The great painter accepted the criticism and repainted the fastening, whereupon the critic extended his self-imposed functions, and objected to the drawing of the foot. Apelles felt the time had come to put down his own foot, and advised the cobbler to stick to his trade. The ancient proverb that this little incident evoked has its modern counterpart in the saying, "Let the cobbler stick to his last," a proverb as valuable to-day as it was of service in the studio of Apelles, when people will insist in talking about what they do not understand.

The brewer would find a dictum after his own heart in the old lines--

"He that buys land buys many stones, He that buys flesh buys many bones, He that buys eggs buys many sh.e.l.ls, But he that buys ale buys nothing else."

The kitchen realm has supplied a very expressive proverb in "The fat is in the fire," and such sayings as "Sweep before your own door"; "The pitcher goes oft to the well, but is broken at last"; "If you enjoy the fire you must put up with the smoke"; "A watched pot never boils"--all suggested by the service of the house; while even the breakages so common in these regions are found, by those who do not have to pay for them, to have a bright side, for "Were it not for breakage there would be no potter's trade." It is so fatally easy to be generous at another person's expense.

Ready though people be to avail themselves at need of the skill of the physician, when they are in, shall we say, rude health, they regard him as very fair game for banter. "He that wants health wants all," but while they are enjoying this happy condition of rampant well-being they cry cheerfully enough, "Throw physic to the dogs, I'll none of it."[140:A] Another proverb, however, declares that "Physic always does good--if not to the patient then to the doctor." This is a bit of German sarcasm; and this Spanish saying, "The earth covers the mistakes of the physician," is equally unappreciative and--dare one say it?--equally true.

The issues of life and death are not the physician's to control. One proverb on the faculty, "Physician, heal thyself," has a special interest, being quoted in one of His discourses by our Lord; while another biblical reference, that of the woman who had spent all her living on doctors and was no better, but rather the worse, is sometimes rather maliciously quoted against our medical pract.i.tioners. A proverb for the patient's benefit will be found in "Much meat, many maladies,"

or in the statement that "Englishmen dig their graves with their teeth,"

a genial way of a.s.serting that the Briton eats and drinks too much, which in many cases is probably true. He is also reminded, that "If pills were pleasant they would need no gilding."[141:A]

The man of law has always been the subject of satire and his work derided, the difference between law and justice being often too conspicuous. A man who flourishes on the dissensions of others can scarcely expect to be a very popular member of society. Their clients are warned that "Better is a lean agreement than a fat lawsuit," and that "In a thousand pounds of law there is not an ounce of love." We are instructed to mark that no lawyer ever goes to law on his own account, and as a warning to their victims we are invited to take note that "Lawyers' gowns are lined with the wilfulness of their clients." A thing may be entirely lawful and yet not honourable, technically right and wanting in all else. In Swaffam Church we find an epitaph commencing--

"Here lieth one, believe it if you can, Who, tho' an attorney, was an honest man; The gates of heaven shall open wide, But will be shut 'gainst all the tribe beside."

Another lawyer was the subject of the following couplet:--

"Here lieth one who often lied before, But now he lies here he lies no more."

The ecclesiastic is the subject of many proverbs, and these mostly of an unfavourable character. It is said, "Woe to those preachers who listen not to themselves," and the caution is a very just one, but we have to realise that while the message from G.o.d to man is beyond all criticism, "we have this treasure in earthen vessels" that may be very much open to criticism, and yet not necessarily hypocrites, knaves, fools, as some would have us believe. "He who teaches religion without exemplifying it loses the advantage of its best argument," a criticism again most just.

An epitaph that may be seen in Wallesley Churchyard, on the tomb of one of the vicars of the church, shows a lofty ideal fully attained:--

"Led by Religion's bright and cheering ray, He taught the way to Heaven, and went that way; And while he held the Christian life to view, He was himself the Christian that he drew."

It is not those who talk righteousness but those who live righteously who are the light of the world, while those who are false to this incur a tremendous responsibility when they a.s.sume the position of guides and bring discredit on their mission. The Spanish proverbs are of especial bitterness: "Do by the friar as he does by you"; "A proud friar requires a new rope and a dry almond tree," in other words, deserves hanging.

Again we are warned that "A turn of the key is better than the conscience of a friar"; what, then, of honour, reputation, or possession is held of value must be protected from his malign influence. Again, we are warned to "Take care of an ox before, an a.s.s behind, and a monk on all sides." Their greed is satirised in such popular sayings as these: "Priests eat up the stew and then ask for the stewpan"; "The covetous abbot for one loaf loses a hundred"; "The abbot gives for the good of his soul what he cannot eat." In like manner the Russians say, "Give the priest all thou hast, and thou wilt have given them nearly enough"; and the Italians declare that "Priests, monks, nuns, and poultry never have enough"; while in England we have the adage, "As crafty as a friar." We are warned, too, that "It is not the cowl that makes the monk."

Appearances may be deceitful: "They should be good men," writes Shakespeare in "Henry VIII.," "their affairs are righteous; but all hoods make not monks." It was in mediaeval England a common expression, "The bishop hath blessed it," when the food was burnt in preparation; a reminder of the days of fiery persecution. Tyndale, for instance, writes in his "Obedyence of a Chrystene Man," "When a thynge speadeth not well we borow speache and say, 'The byshope hath blessed it,' because that nothynge speadeth well that they medyll withall. If the podech be burned or the meate over rosted, we say, 'The byshope has put his fote in the potte,' because the byshoppes burn who they list and whosoever displeaseth them." The Marian persecutions appear to us mere ancient history, but they were real enough when this sarcasm on the episcopal benediction pa.s.sed from mouth to mouth.

The French attack the craftiness that has too often been a characteristic of the ecclesiastic in the saying: "Le renard preche aux poules"; while in England we find the adages, "Reynard is reynard still, though in a cowl," and "When the fox preacheth then beware of your geese," and to these many other sayings of like import might be added.

The miller was the target for considerable adverse comment. An epitaph in Calne churchyard over one of the fraternity reads--

"G.o.d worketh wonders now and then, Here lies a miller, and an honest man,"

and this would appear to be about the popular view of the craft. Thus Chaucer writes of his "Wel cowde he stele, and tollen thries," and he describes him as having "a thomb of golde," in itself a proverbial expression. The miller tests the fineness of the grinding by taking up a portion of the meal and rubbing it between his thumb and fingers, in itself a most harmless and necessary operation. Another well-known proverb is, "All is grist that comes to his mill," good or bad, all is used and turned to advantage; while an Italian proverb declares that "Millers are the last to die of famine"--the process of grinding the corn of other people leading, it is suggested, to a considerable quant.i.ty being transferred from the bag of the farmer to the bin of the miller, no question of mutual consent arising.

Army service suggested as a proverb based on experience and observation, "The blood of the common soldier makes the glory of the general," an adage not yet out of date; while such proverbs as, "Two strings to one's bow," "To draw the long bow," and "A fool's bolt is soon shot"[145:A]

recall the days when archery was the national defence and recreation. To "Draw not your bow till your arrow is fixed," is another old English proverb; it is tantamount to another wise saw, "Look before you leap."

The pursuit of the angler appears to those not of the craft so dreary and monotonous that one hesitates to call it a recreation. It is at least an excellent school for patience and such virtues as may be taught by hope deferred. The French say, "Still he fishes, that catcheth one"; while an English proverb bluntly declares that "An angler eats more than he gets." For everything in this world a price has to be paid, and the fisherman is warned that "He who would catch fish must not mind a wetting." A very familiar saying that derives its inspiration from the pursuit of the fisherman is that "All is fish that comes to the net," a parallel saying to the one that has just been referred to concerning the grist of the miller.

The innings of the cricketer supplies the saying, "Off his own bat," to describe the results in any direction achieved by a man's own exertions, while the chess-player's board suggests the moral, "At the end of the game the king and the p.a.w.n go into the same bag," one lot befalls all; and to this we may add, "The die is cast," when the irrevocable step is taken--

"I have set my life upon the cast And I will stand the hazard of the die."--"Richard III."

The busy pursuits and pleasant recreations of life would doubtless yield much more material for the searcher after proverb-lore thereon. We are content but to indicate something of the interest that the subject may be made to evolve, and leave it to the reader to amplify, if he so will.

Maxims that apply equally to all callings are to be found in abundance.

Of these we may instance, as examples: "A useful trade is a mine of gold," "Sell not thy conscience with thy goods," "He that thinks his place below him will certainly be below his place," "Mind what you do and how you do it." To these we would add, "Nothing is little," a proverb of far-reaching significance and deep import; for we need at times to consider how, from actions small in themselves, from a few words hastily spoken, from the pressure of a hand when hearts are breaking, from the neglect of a little duty or precaution, how great may be the outcome.

Personal proverbs are very numerous: a list of over a hundred could readily be compiled. Many of these we cannot now really attribute to any particular individual. They often refer to some local circ.u.mstance, some story that has been forgotten. In some cases, as in "Hobson's choice" or "the case is altered, quoth Plowden," we are dealing with real individuals; in other cases we may reasonably a.s.sume that we are, though we cannot prove it; while, in a third section, the matter is considerably more doubtful. Proverbs, for instance, that deal only with Christian names probably do not allude to any particular individual, and it may be a.s.sumed that these names are there to give a concrete realism such as the rustic loves, and are of no more definite existence than "Tom, d.i.c.k, and Harry," or "Tag, Rag, and Bobtail"--all representative of the units forming some gathering. In some cases it is a pa.s.sing skit on some local character who has laid himself open in some way; while in others, such as "Madam Parnell, crack the nut and eat the kernel," or "Mock not, quoth Mumford," the things owe all the brilliancy they possess to the attraction of rhyme or alliteration. The "Jack Sprat, who could eat no fat" was doubtless a myth, created to gratify the poetic instincts of the creator of the character. The well-known nursery characters, "Jack and Jill, who went up the hill" supply, no doubt, another ill.u.s.tration. It would be quite hopeless to search for their baptismal registers. "As wise as the Mayor of Banbury" is an example of a local proverb. These civic authorities were often made the b.u.t.t of a good deal of banter. What particular mayor was thus honoured it is, of course, impossible to determine; his individuality has been absorbed in his mayoral dignity. Small local jealousies between one village or town and a neighbouring one are often responsible for this sort of thing, the provincial mind loving to score over the people in the next parish or the next county.

Where no real option is given to a person the proverb "Hobson's choice"

is suggested. One Tobias Hobson was an innkeeper and carrier at Cambridge, and a man of considerable local influence. He was said to be the first man in England that made a business of letting out horses for hire. However this may be, his custom, a custom that supplies the material for the adage, was that when anyone wanted a horse he was led into the stables, where some forty animals were ready for use, but the inexorable rule was that there should be no picking and choosing, a necessity being laid upon the customer that he took the horse which stood nearest the stable door. He had Hobson's choice and no other. This procedure placed all on an equal level and ensured a rough justice for the horses themselves, as the last horse entering from a journey was put at the far end and was only again liable for service when all the others had first done their turn.

"The case is altered, quoth Plowden," was a very popular adage with our ancestors, and especially in Shropshire. Edmund Plowden was an eminent lawyer in the reign of Queen Elizabeth, born at Plowden, a little village in Shropshire. The following circ.u.mstance is said to have given birth to the adage:--A neighbour asked him what remedy he had in law against a person whose hogs had broken into his field, and he was a.s.sured that the law would amply protect his rights. Whereupon the farmer replied that they were his (Plowden's) hogs. "Nay then, neighbour," quoth Plowden, "the case is altered." We learn hereby that it is hardly well for a man to be both defendant and judge, but it is due to Plowden's memory to add that in choosing the name of some lawyer to tack on to the proverb they merely took the name of one exceptionally well known. He was by a distinguished contemporary writer described as "A man second to none in his profession for honour and integrity."

Plowden or no Plowden, the adage points to the duty of doing as we would be done by, and is a fair satire on the general readiness of lawyers to argue on either side at short notice, and to take very special care of "number one."

The old saying, "As coy as Croker's mare," may refer to some incident of which all knowledge is now lost; but as we sometimes find it rendered, "As coy as a crocker's mare," it has been, with great reason, suggested that this crocker is simply a crock-dealer, a retailer of earthenware round the country, to whom the possession of a restive animal would mean the smashing up of his stock and his consequent ruin. In a play of the year 1566, where a widow of somewhat flippant mood appears, we are told that "Of auncient fathers she took no cure nor care, She was to them as koy as a croker's mare."

A proverb that has a curious history is, "Two heads are better than one, said Weymark." Three-fourths of this is of great antiquity, and, we may take it, rank in significance with "In the mult.i.tude of counsellors there is safety," and other proverbs of that type. Whence, then, came the added fourth, and why? One theory is that it is a mere accretion, but this probably everyone, except the broacher of the idea, will feel to be very unlikely. Weymark is a distinctly peculiar name, and there must surely be some allusion to some one so called. It has been suggested that we should read it as way-mark,[149:A] a mark to guide the traveller: that we should understand that two heads are better than one to guide us on our earthly journey, but in this case why the word "said"?

In the "Anglorum Speculum," A.D. 1684, we get on to firmer ground; we there read that "One Wiemark was called to account for saying the head of Sir Walter Raleigh (beheaded that day) would do very well on the shoulders of Sir Robert Naunton; and having alleged in his own justification that two heads were better than one, he was for the present dismissed. Afterwards Wiemark being, with other wealthy persons, called on for a subscription to St Paul's, first subscribed a hundred pounds at the Council Table, but was glad to double it after Mr Secretary had told him two heads were better than one." We can readily understand that this jeering addition to the old saw quickly found acceptance when the incident got abroad.

The expression, "Backare, quoth Mortimer to his sow," has an extended range over our old literature, but its meaning is very enigmatical.

Heywood writes, "Backare, quoth Mortimer to his sow, Went that sow back at that bidding, trow you?" In John Grange's "Golden Aphroditis" (1577) we read, "Yet wrested he so his effeminate bende to the siege of backwarde affection, that both trumpet and drumme sounded nothing but baccare, baccare." Wherever we find this baccare--in "Roister Doister,"

"The Dial," "Repentance of Mary Magdalene," the "Scourge of Folly,"

"Mydas," or elsewhere--its significance is always "Stand back." Its spelling is very variable.[150:A] Who Mortimer was, it is hopeless to conjecture, or on what occasion he found it necessary to curb the impatience of his sow.

The expression, "As wise as Dr Doddipol," is of sarcastic significance.

The name of this doctor is spelt in many ways, but in all its variations the saying preserves its depreciatory character. Skelton in "Colin Clout" has Dr Daupatus and Doddypatis. Hoddypoule, Huddypeake, Dotypoll, Noddipole, are other readings one encounters in old plays and the like.

In Fox's "Book of Martyrs" we have, "I will contemne these dastardly dotipoles." Latimer in his sermons used the plainest language. In preaching before King Edward, he said, "But some will say our curate is nought, an a.s.shead, a dodipoll, a lacklatine," while in another of his discourses he breaks out, "Ye brainsicke fooles, ye hoddy-peakes, ye doddy poules." We may perhaps explain that these epithets were not applied to his audience; they were words put by the preacher into the mouths of the Pharisees in their disgust at the flocking of the common people to the teaching of the Messiah. In the works of Sir Thomas More, 1557, we find him declaring of something that, concerning it, "a verye nodypoll nydyote might be ashamed."[151:A]

Sterne in "Tristram Shandy" is quite Latimeresque. He writes: "Here, without staying for my reply, shall I be called as many blockheads, numsculls, doddypoles, dunderheads." Thompson uses the expression "doddering mast" in his description of a storm, while Dryden writes of a rotting "doddar'd oke" falling piecemeal to the ground. The idea all through is clearly weakness, feebleness, physical or mental.

Another proverb, "Bate me an ace, quoth Bolton," has a certain historic interest. A collection of proverbs was presented by its compiler to Queen Elizabeth, with the declaration that it contained every proverb in the English language. To test the matter, she asked if he had this one, and he was obliged to confess that he had not. Without the surname appended it may often be found in various old authors; in Beaumont and Fletcher's "Prophetess," for instance, we find the pa.s.sage, "Nor bate ye an ace of a sound senator." We are told that this Bolton was one of the courtiers in attendance on Henry VIII., who, in card-playing with his Sovereign, was discreet enough to beg to be allowed an ace, or some such considerable advantage, that he might have some little chance against so skilful a player. The proverb was ordinarily used as an appeal for some little advantage, or, ironically, as a hint to some one whose statements were held to be a little beyond credence to abate them somewhat.

It will readily be noted that most of these name-proverbs are obsolete, but one of them, "What will Mrs Grundy say?" is still in use. It is found in the old play of "Speed the Plough," and was thence transported into general service. A Mrs Ashfield was there represented as always in terror of the opinion of this old lady, until at length her husband, a bluff old farmer, can stand it no longer, and bursts out: "Be quiet, wool ye? Always ding, dinging Dame Grundy into my ears, What will Mrs Grundy say!" The influence of the old lady is yet strong in the land.

In the west of England we encounter the adage, "He will live as long as old Ross of Potterne." Potterne is a village near Devizes, and this venerable Ross was probably a genuine centenarian, though all clue to him is now lost. The proverb is sometimes rather unkindly amplified into, "Who lived till all the world was a-weary of him," a very unhappy state of things for all parties.

A proverb long current in Shropshire and the adjoining counties is, "Ahem! as d.i.c.k Smith said when he swallowed the dishcloth." The moral here clearly is that troubles should be borne bravely and with as little fuss as possible. Another old saw is, "My name is Twyford; I know nothing of the matter"--a statement that would mean, "I object to enquiry; I decline to be bothered." A sarcastic saying on pretentiousness is seen in, "Great doings at Gregory's; heated the oven twice for a custard." The futility of attempting to stop proceedings after they had got to a certain point was ill.u.s.trated in the adage, "Nay, stay, quoth Stringer, when his neck was in the halter." One can imagine the depth of scorn that might be thrown into "Don't hurry, Hopkins," when fired off at some notorious laggard; but the legend goes that a certain, or uncertain, Hopkins gave a creditor a promissory-note, having previously written on it, "The said John Hopkins is not to be hurried in paying this amount." Of course, in all these explanations we have to wonder whether some incident led to the adage, or whether the process has been reversed--the popular saying, its real origin forgotten, having a fict.i.tious explanation tacked on to it. "Credit is dead; bad pay killed him," is a popular adage with those who believe in ready-money transactions[153:A]--a sentiment that the creditors of the late John Hopkins would readily appreciate.

Locality proverbs, like personal proverbs, are naturally more in vogue in the places named than of general usage, though some of them travel far outside their place of origin. Others of them, and those generally of a derisive cast, do not originate in the place itself, but are conferred on it by outsiders. "Go to Bath," for instance, was a reference to the fact that lunatics used to be sent there for the benefit of its waters, and the inference was that the person addressed was a fit subject for a stay there. Had the proverb originated in the city, it would have been "Come to Bath." "Cheshire bred, strong in the arm, weak in the head," is a saying that scarcely originated in that county. Another county saying is, "You were born at Hog's-Norton." This was a reproof to a boorish person, but there is no such place; the village referred to is that of Hock-Norton, in Oxfordshire, rustic humour readily making the change of spelling to fit it for its purpose.

Such saws as, "Grantham gruel, nine grits and a bucket of water," or "Like Banbury tinkers, that mend one hole and make three," we may be sure did not originate in the places designated. If the adage be complimentary, it probably arose in the place, as, for instance, "True as Coventry blue," an allusion to an excellent dye for which the town was noted; or "Diamond cut diamond, I am Yorkshire too," a testimony to the Yorkshireman's brilliancy and keenness.

The allusion is sometimes topographical. Thus, "Crooked as Crawley brook" is suggested by a little stream in Bedfordshire that has a course of twenty miles between two points that are actually five miles apart.

"When Dudman and Ramhead meet"--in a word, never. These are two conspicuous headlands in Cornwall, miles apart. In Norfolk is a saying, "Arrested by the bailiff of Marshland," when the unacclimatised stranger succ.u.mbs to the ague, the product of the local aqueous surroundings.

Rustic humour is responsible for the somewhat blunt point of many of these local sayings. A play upon words is very popular. Thus Beggar's Bush, near Huntingdon, suggests that a man "Goes home by Beggar's Bush"

when his means are dwindling away. "On the high road to Needham," a place in Suffolk, is of similar import, the idea of need being the point of the adage. Tusser, for instance, writes:

"Toiling much and spoiling more, great charge smal gains or none, Soon sets thine host at Needham's sh.o.r.e, to craue the begger's bone."