'Would you like to come back to the house for coffee?' Sapphie offered as she and Matthew stood waiting while Rik paid the bill-after a slight resistance he had at least won that argument!

Rik looked at her curiously, but her expression was unreadable. Deliberately so? Probably, he conceded; he had no doubts that this evening was as much of a strain for her as it was for him.

But, Sapphie being Sapphie, he didn't doubt that she was willing to put herself through it for Matthew's sake.

But Rik wanted her to do it for their sake, because she wanted to see him again as much as he wanted to see her. It was a lot to hope for, but he could dream, couldn't he...?

'I would like that very much,' he accepted casually, taking one of the boiled sweets out of the basket next to the till and handing it to Matthew. 'There you go, little buddy,' he smiled at his son.

The little boy hesitated about taking it, glancing up uncertainly at his mother. 'Mummy?'

Rik felt something like a knife rip into his chest as he realized Sapphie had probably warned Matthew, as his own mother had him, about never accepting sweets from a stranger. Because, much as it pained him to admit it, that was what he actually was, a stranger to his own son.

Sapphie put a hand on Rik's arm. 'Matthew knows that I don't let him eat sweets in the evening,' she explained softly.

Not because he was a stranger at all! But simply because Matthew knew, and accepted, his mother's rule.

Sapphie smiled down at Matthew. 'But I'm willing to make an exception on this occasion!'

'Yippee!' the little boy cried excitedly before shyly taking the sweet. 'Thank you.' He gave another of those beguiling smiles that almost ripped Rik's heart from his chest.

Because he wanted to give this boy, this woman, the world, if only they would let him; it was a humbling experience to know that Matthew was more than pleased with just a sweet.

'Sorry about that,' Rik apologised once they were in Nik's car and on the short drive to Sapphie's house. 'I guess I'm going to need a bit of guidance on the rules.'

'It doesn't matter.' Sapphie shook her head, reaching up a hand to remove the band from her hair and shake it loose about her shoulders.

Completely taking Rik's breath away for what must be the dozenth time this evening. He wanted more than anything to kiss her, to hold her, to run his hands through that fiery hair. He had felt a need growing all evening, so that now, with her sitting so close to him, the smell of her perfume invading his senses, it was all he could think about, all he- From the back of the car came the sound of Matthew choking!

CHAPTER THIRTEEN.

'STOP the car!' Sapphie screamed as she turned and saw Matthew's face turning blue. 'Rik, stop the...' She didn't finish the second shrill instruction: Rik pulled the vehicle over to the side of the road and jumped out from behind the wheel to pull the back door open.

By the time he had Matthew's seat belt off and had taken him out of the car, Sapphie had joined them. If anything Matthew looked bluer than ever, his eyes wide and frightened as he looked up at her.

Rik didn't hesitate, turning Matthew away from him, putting his arms about the little boy's waist and pulling sharply inwards. A small orange object shot out of Matthew's mouth and he began to cry.

Sapphie gathered the child quickly up into her arms, tears streaming down her face too. 'Oh, G.o.d! Oh, G.o.d!' seemed to be all she could say, over and over again, as she held Matthew tightly to her, the little boy clinging to her.

'It was that d.a.m.ned candy,' Rik muttered angrily, kicking at the boiled sweet as it lay shattered on the ground. 'I guess Mummy knows best after all, huh, little buddy?' He ruffled Matthew's dark curls as he attempted a weak smile.

Sapphie could see that Rik was really as shaken as she was by the incident, although she smiled too in an effort to disperse the fright Matthew obviously felt.

'It's OK now, baby,' she told her son huskily.

'I couldn't breathe,' the little boy cried, tears starting afresh.

'Nasty old sweet,' Sapphie declared, before looking up at Rik; his face was as pale as she felt hers must be! 'I'll sit in the back with him for the rest of the journey,' she said.

'Good idea,' Rik agreed, and saw that the two of them were settled in the back seat before getting back into the vehicle himself.

But he kept shooting the two of them anxious looks in the rear-view mirror on the remaining drive home. Sapphie smiled at him rea.s.suringly as she felt the tension leave Matthew and he began to fall asleep.

She never ceased to be amazed at the way children bounced back from things; as a baby, Matthew could be burning up with fever one day and playing happily with his toys the next. Whereas she was usually an emotional wreck from the worry!

It was the same with the sweet, she realised as later they bathed Matthew before putting him to bed; she and Rik were obviously still feeling strained about the whole incident, but Matthew was splashing happily in his bath, completely rea.s.sured!

Although not quite...

'Will you be here in the morning when I wake up?' Matthew looked up at Rik with big blue eyes as he lay back in his bed, cosily ensconced under his Thomas the Tank Engine duvet. 'Susie, at kindergarten, she said her daddy is always there in the morning when she wakes up,' he added innocently.

Sapphie swallowed hard as she sat on the side of the bed. In the end she had decided to tell Matthew the truth about Rik because she felt it was best for both of them, even though she had known it was going to make things difficult for her. But she certainly had no idea Matthew had been talking to other children about his daddy at the pre-school he went to three mornings a week.

'Susie's daddy is a teacher, darling,' she explained.

'Oh.' Matthew nodded, obviously not understanding at all. 'What's my daddy?' He turned curiously to Rik.

'I write stories, like Mummy,' Rik answered him carefully, obviously totally besotted with Matthew already.

If he hadn't acted so quickly, hadn't known exactly what to do when Matthew started to choke...!

'Well, Mummy's always here in the morning,' Matthew said happily, as if Rik being here too would be the most natural thing in the world.

And maybe to a four-year-old it was, Sapphie acknowledged ruefully, as they took turns to kiss Matthew goodnight before going down to the kitchen.

To her surprise, Matthew had taken the news that Rik was his daddy with an acceptance that made her proud of him, his only comment being, 'Where did my daddy live before he came to us?' After days of working herself up to telling him, his calm reaction had been a welcome relief, the fact that he had once called Rik a bad man seeming to be forgotten in the excitement of having a father at last.

Sapphie moved about the room making coffee, Rik sitting at the table watching her. Her mother, with her usual tact and consideration, had decided to go to the cinema with a friend this evening. But with Matthew tucked safely in bed, probably already asleep if Sapphie knew him, she and Rik seemed very much alone...

'You're still looking a little pale.' Rik spoke concernedly as she brought the coffee to the table. 'He's OK, you know. And there shouldn't be any side-effects. Should there...?'

'No,' she rea.s.sured him, putting the cups down on the table as her hands started to shake as reaction began to set in, having kept herself under tight control in front of Matthew in an effort not to alarm him. 'If you hadn't been there-'

'If I hadn't been there he wouldn't have had the candy in the first place!' Rik put in, standing up to look down at her searchingly. 'But he seemed fine when he went to bed.'

'He is,' Sapphie agreed, tears welling up in her eyes and spilling hotly down her cheeks. 'It's only when something like this happens that you realise how vulnerable they are, how fragile life can be. If anything should ever happen to him-'

'It won't,' Rik told her firmly, clasping the tops of her arms.

Sapphie still shook. 'But if it did-'

'It won't, Sapphie,' he cut in firmly. 'I won't let it!'

She gave a humourless laugh. 'You won't be here to stop it-'

'I'll always be here, Sapphie,' Rik told her forcefully. 'You'll always have me.'

Sapphie became very still, staring up at him, totally bewildered by the intensity of his expression. What did he mean, she would always have him?

Rik gave a deep sigh at her bewilderment. 'Sapphie, I know you aren't ready to hear this, and I really don't want to completely blow any chance I might have of...' He broke off, breathing deeply. 'Sapphie, I love you. I love you!'

She couldn't move, could only continue to stare at him. He didn't really mean that he loved her, she finally decided; it was Matthew he loved, not her. If he was in love with anyone, then it wasn't her- 'You, Sapphie.' He spoke with intensity now, as if he could read her thoughts and was angry at them. 'Only you, Sapphie. It will only ever be you,' he insisted.

'But-but Dee?' she burst out. 'You love her, you've always loved her-'

'I was infatuated with Dee for a while; the fact that she was about to marry someone else intensified that feeling. But what I've remained in love with is another memory of warmth and giving, of fire and laughter.' He spoke as if he had just realised that himself. 'That was you, Sapphie, the night we met. I was all messed up about what I felt, and you and Dee became all mixed up inside my head, but the one I loved was the warm and giving one.'

Sapphie shook her head, afraid to believe him. 'But I saw your face the day she was here, saw the way you looked at her as she defended my right to Matthew-'

'I do not love her. I have never loved her,' he added with finality. 'What you saw that day was the hope that there was some normal human decency in her, after all,' Rik explained. 'I hadn't seen any evidence of it until that moment! I love you, Sapphie. I always will.'

She looked up at him searchingly, wanting to believe him but was afraid to. She loved him so much that she simply couldn't settle for anything less from him. She wouldn't settle for anything less!

She had to believe him! Rik had never wanted anything in his life as much as he wanted her to believe it was her that he loved!

That he had always loved, he realised now.

That time with Sapphie, happening when he had believed himself in love with Dee, had stopped him from seeing, from acknowledging, that it was the woman he had held in his arms that night that he had continued to love. It had been her warmth and loving that he remembered, that he loved. Sapphie...

She shook her head now. 'You want Matthew-'

'I want you,' he corrected harshly. It was too soon, he knew that, but it was the way the evening had turned out, and he might never have another chance to tell Sapphie how he felt about her. 'I love Matthew, yes,' he acknowledged. 'And if I ever lost him it would half kill me! But if I lost you...! Sapphie, I wouldn't want to go on living without you.' And he knew it was the truth, that Sapphie meant everything to him.

He wanted to be there in the morning when Sapphie woke up, every morning for the rest of their lives. But still she said nothing, only continued to look at him warily.

'Sapphie, I want to marry you!' He released her, knowing that he couldn't be this close to her and not kiss her. Which wasn't going to help anything at this moment. 'I know, after all that's happened, how difficult it must be for you to believe me,' he groaned. 'I just-I don't know how to explain!' He drew in a shaky breath.

This was just so important, might be the only chance he would ever have to tell Sapphie how he felt. He had to do it right, or risk losing her for ever...!

'When I saw Dee again in Paris, when I first heard her voice, it all came rushing back, all the emotions I thought I had buried long ago. I couldn't breathe, couldn't talk-'

'You love her,' Sapphie stated flatly before turning away.

'I don't even like her!' Rik burst out frustratedly. 'It was you, Sapphie,' he spoke softly as she slowly turned back to face him. 'It was always you...! I just didn't realise it until I saw the two of you together in Paris. Dee is cold, selfish-and incredibly boring,' he admitted. 'You're warm, caring-and I have never known even a moment's boredom in your company.' He gave a rueful smile. 'In fact, the opposite! I can't even think straight when I'm with you.'

Sapphie continued to stare at him. 'That must be very-uncomfortable.'

Rik felt a glimmer of hope as he saw the flicker of amus.e.m.e.nt in those incredible amber-coloured eyes. Only a glimmer, but it was so much more than he had hoped for.

'No, not uncomfortable at all.' He gave a half-smile. 'Never that. Sapphie, you're the first thought in my mind when I wake up in the morning. All I can think of the entire day. My last thought before I fall asleep at night.' Although he hadn't been able to do much of that this last week! 'In fact,' he added self-derisively, 'Nik a.s.sures me that I'm the one who has become boring!'

Sapphie swallowed hard before moistening her lips with the tip of her tongue.

Rik's gaze hungrily followed the movement; he wanted her so much that he just wanted to forget all about caution, his promise to take things slowly, and make love to her here and now. Which would probably ruin everything!

'Nik doesn't know everything.' Sapphie spoke huskily. 'I can a.s.sure you, I'm not in the least bored in your company.'

'You aren't?' he breathed uncertainly.

'No.' She looked at him with clear eyes. 'Rik, I haven't been completely honest with you, either.' She swallowed again. 'I-Do you believe in love at first sight?' Her expression was anxious now. Rik frowned his confusion. He wasn't sure he could take listening to her explain her feelings for Jerome- 'You, Rik.' She spoke quietly. 'I'm talking about you,' she explained as he continued to look puzzled.

'Me?' he repeated sharply. 'But I've just tried to tell you that I don't love Dee, that I never loved Dee-'

'Forget Dee,' Sapphie interrupted.

'I would be happy to,' Rik a.s.sured her with feeling, wanting to forget that whole embarra.s.sing incident in his life.

'Then it's done.' Sapphie smiled, taking a tentative step towards him. 'Rik, I told you that I was a virgin five years ago. I also told you that I'd had other lovers since. That last part isn't true.'

He could hardly breathe now, staring down at her, needing her so badly, wanting to touch her so badly that he trembled with the emotion.

Sapphie took another step towards him, so close now he could see the brown flecks in the amber of her eyes. 'Rik, I went to Dee and Jerome's wedding believing I was watching the man I loved marry my sister-'

'Don't, Sapphie,' he pleaded huskily. 'I think I can stand anything but hearing how much you love someone else-'

'I said I believed I loved him, Rik.' Sapphie was standing in front of him now, one of her hands reaching up to caress the hard line of his jaw. 'What actually happened that day, when I couldn't bear to even look at the two of them getting married, was that I turned and looked anywhere else instead. And I saw you.' She gave a shaky smile. 'That was when I knew what love was. It was-Rik, I fell in love with you the moment I looked at you. I love you, Rik,' she told him strongly. 'I've always loved you.'

Rik felt as if someone had just punched him, knocking all the air from his lungs. 'You-I-'

'Yes, Rik, you and I,' Sapphie echoed. 'And I don't know about you, but I really don't want to waste another five years of our lives together!' Her eyes glowed with love now.

For him. Only for him. What a fool he had been. What an idiot. He and Sapphie could have been together for the last five years if he hadn't been so blind.

He reached out and pulled her into his arms, crushing her to him. 'I love you, Sapphie! G.o.d, how I love you! I never, ever want to be apart from you again!' he promised before his mouth claimed hers in a kiss that left them both breathless and shaking as Rik finally lifted his head to gaze down at her wonderingly. 'Marry me, Sapphie. I think I'll go quietly insane if you don't agree to be my wife!'

She gave a husky laugh. 'I'll marry you, Rik,' she a.s.sured him emotionally. 'I'll marry you!' She beamed up at him, her face flushed, her eyes full of love.

It was the way Rik always wanted her to look at him. In fact, he intended doing everything in his power to ensure that she did!

EPILOGUE.