Song--O Leave Novels^1

[Footnote 1: Burns never published this poem.]

O leave novels, ye Mauchline belles, Ye're safer at your spinning-wheel; Such witching books are baited hooks For rakish rooks, like Rob Mossgiel; Your fine Tom Jones and Grandisons, They make your youthful fancies reel; They heat your brains, and fire your veins, And then you're prey for Rob Mossgiel.

Beware a tongue that's smoothly hung, A heart that warmly seems to feel; That feeling heart but acts a part-- 'Tis rakish art in Rob Mossgiel.

The frank address, the soft caress, Are worse than poisoned darts of steel; The frank address, and politesse, Are all finesse in Rob Mossgiel.

Fragment--The Mauchline Lady

Tune--"I had a horse, I had nae mair."

When first I came to Stewart Kyle, My mind it was na steady; Where'er I gaed, where'er I rade, A mistress still I had aye.

But when I came roun' by Mauchline toun, Not dreadin anybody, My heart was caught, before I thought, And by a Mauchline lady.

Fragment--My Girl She's Airy

Tune--"Black Jock."

My girl she's airy, she's buxom and gay; Her breath is as sweet as the blossoms in May; A touch of her lips it ravishes quite: She's always good natur'd, good humour'd, and free; She dances, she glances, she smiles upon me; I never am happy when out of her sight.

The Belles Of Mauchline

In Mauchline there dwells six proper young belles, The pride of the place and its neighbourhood a'; Their carriage and dress, a stranger would guess, In Lon'on or Paris, they'd gotten it a'.

Miss Miller is fine, Miss Markland's divine, Miss Smith she has wit, and Miss Betty is braw: There's beauty and fortune to get wi' Miss Morton, But Armour's the jewel for me o' them a'.

Epitaph On A Noisy Polemic

Below thir stanes lie Jamie's banes; O Death, it's my opinion, Thou ne'er took such a bleth'rin b.i.t.c.h Into thy dark dominion!

Epitaph On A Henpecked Country Squire

As father Adam first was fool'd, (A case that's still too common,) Here lies man a woman ruled, The devil ruled the woman.

Epigram On The Said Occasion

O Death, had'st thou but spar'd his life, Whom we this day lament, We freely wad exchanged the wife, And a' been weel content.

Ev'n as he is, cauld in his graff, The swap we yet will do't; Tak thou the carlin's carcase aff, Thou'se get the saul o'boot.

Another

One Queen Artemisia, as old stories tell, When deprived of her husband she loved so well, In respect for the love and affection he show'd her, She reduc'd him to dust and she drank up the powder.

But Queen Netherplace, of a diff'rent complexion, When called on to order the fun'ral direction, Would have eat her dead lord, on a slender pretence, Not to show her respect, but--to save the expense!

On Tam The Chapman

As Tam the chapman on a day, Wi'Death forgather'd by the way, Weel pleas'd, he greets a wight so famous, And Death was nae less pleas'd wi' Thomas, Wha cheerfully lays down his pack, And there blaws up a hearty crack: His social, friendly, honest heart Sae tickled Death, they could na part; Sae, after viewing knives and garters, Death taks him hame to gie him quarters.

Epitaph On John Rankine

Ae day, as Death, that gruesome carl, Was driving to the t.i.ther warl'

A mixtie--maxtie motley squad, And mony a guilt-bespotted lad-- Black gowns of each denomination, And thieves of every rank and station, From him that wears the star and garter, To him that wintles in a halter: Ashamed himself to see the wretches, He mutters, glowrin at the b.i.t.c.hes,

"By G.o.d I'll not be seen behint them, Nor 'mang the sp'ritual core present them, Without, at least, ae honest man, To grace this d.a.m.n'd infernal clan!"

By Adamhill a glance he threw, "Lord G.o.d!" quoth he, "I have it now; There's just the man I want, i' faith!"

And quickly stoppit Rankine's breath.

Lines On The Author's Death

Written With The Supposed View Of Being Handed To Rankine After The Poet's Interment