MRS. CROWLEY.

[_Puzzled._] The man's mad. The man's nothing short of a raving lunatic.

d.i.c.k.

I wanted to see if you were really attached to me. You have given me a proof of esteem which I promise you I will never forget.

MRS. CROWLEY.

[_Laughing._] You're a perfect idiot, Mr. Lomas!

d.i.c.k.

It's one of my cherished convictions that a really nice woman is never so cruel as to marry a man she cares for.

MRS. CROWLEY.

You're much too flippant to marry anybody, and you're perfectly odious into the bargain.

[_She goes out._ d.i.c.k, _chuckling, lights a cigarette_. ALEC _comes in and lies down lazily on the sofa_.

ALEC.

Why, d.i.c.k, what's the matter? You look as pleased as Punch.

d.i.c.k.

My dear fellow, I feel like the Terrible Turk. I've been wrestling, and I thought I was going to have a fall. But by the display of considerable agility I've managed to keep my legs.

ALEC.

What _do_ you mean?

d.i.c.k.

Nothing. It's merely the gaiety of forty-two.

[BOULGER _comes into the room, followed immediately by_ MALLINS _and_ CARBERY. _He starts slightly when he sees_ ALEC, _but then goes over to the table on which is the whiskey_.

MALLINS.

May we smoke here, Bobby?

BOULGER.

Certainly. d.i.c.k insisted that this room should be particularly reserved for that purpose.

[_The_ BUTLER _comes in with a small silver salver, and takes up one or two dirty gla.s.ses_.

d.i.c.k.

Lady Kelsey is the most admirable of all hostesses.

ALEC.

[_Taking a cigarette from his case._] Give me a match, Bobby, there's a good boy. [BOULGER, _with his back turned to_ ALEC, _takes no notice. He pours himself out some whiskey._ ALEC _smiles slightly._] Bobby, throw me over the matches!

BOULGER.

[_With his back still turned._] Miller!

BUTLER.

Yes, sir?

BOULGER.

Mr. Mackenzie is asking for something.

BUTLER.

Yes, sir!

ALEC.

You might give me a light, will you?

BUTLER.

Yes, sir!

[_The_ BUTLER _takes the matches to_ ALEC, _who lights his cigarette._

ALEC.

Thank you. [_Complete silence is preserved till the_ BUTLER _leaves the room._] I perceive, Bobbie, that during my absence you have not added good manners to your other accomplishments.

BOULGER.

If you want things, you can ask the servants for them.

ALEC.

[_Good-humouredly._] Don't be foolish, Bobbie!

BOULGER.

Would you be so kind as to remember that my name is Boulger?