[Footnote 1: Russian fur cloaks, it may be useful to remember, have broad collars that can be turned up to protect the face.]

OLIMPIaDA SAMSoNOVNA _brings in a dress and hands it to_ USTiNYA NAuMOVNA.

SCENE III

_The same and_ OLIMPIaDA SAMSoNOVNA

USTiNYA NAuMOVNA. What in the world is the matter with you; do you want to rob me, maybe?

PODKHALYuZIN. Rob you, nothing! You just go to the devil, and be done with you!

USTiNYA NAuMOVNA. Are you going to turn me out? And I, senseless idiot, agreed to work for you: I can see now your vulgar blood!

PODKHALYuZIN. What, ma'am! Speak, if you please!

USTiNYA NAuMOVNA. When it comes to that, I don't care to look at you! Not for any amount of money on earth will I agree to a.s.sociate with you! I'll go twenty miles out of my way, but I won't go by you! I'll sooner shut my eyes and b.u.mp into a horse, than stand and look at your dirty den! Even if I want to spit, I'll never set foot in this street again! Break me in ten pieces if I lie! You can go to the infernal jim-jams if you ever see me here again!

PODKHALYuZIN. Easy now, aunty, easy!

USTiNYA NAuMOVNA. I'll show you up, my jewels: you'll find out! I'll give you such a rep in Moscow that you won't dare show your face in public!--Oh!

I'm a fool, a fool to have anything to do with such a person! And I, a lady of rank and position!--Fah, fah, fall! [_She goes out._

PODKHALYuZIN. Well, the blue-blooded lady flew off the handle! Oh, Lord, what an official she is! There's a proverb that says: "The thunderbolt strikes, not from the clouds, but from the dung-heap." Good Lord! Just look at her; what a lady!

OLIMPIaDA SAMSoNOVNA. Bright idea of yours, Lazar Elizarych, ever to have anything to do with her!

PODKHALYuZIN. Really, a very absurd woman.

OLIMPIaDA SAMSoNOVNA. [_Glancing out of the window_] I believe they've let daddy out of the pen; go see, Lazar Elizarych.

PODKHALYuZIN. Well, no, ma'am; they won't let daddy out of the pen soon, either; most likely they ordered him to the meeting of the creditors, and then he got leave to come home. Mamma, ma'am! Agrafena Kondratyevna!

Daddy's coming, ma'am!

SCENE IV

_The same,_ BOLSHoV, _and_ AGRAFeNA KONDRaTYEVNA

AGRAFeNA KONDRaTYEVNA. Where is he? Where is he? My own children, my little doves! [_Kisses are exchanged._

PODKHALYuZIN. Daddy, how do you do, our respects!

AGRAFeNA KONDRaTYEVNA. My little dove, Samson Silych, my treasure! You've left me an orphan in my old age!

BOLSHoV. That'll do, wife; stop!

OLIMPIaDA SAMSoNOVNA. What's the matter with you, ma? you're crying over him as if he were dead! G.o.d only knows what's happened.

BOLSHoV. That's just it, daughter; G.o.d only knows; but all the same your father's in jail.

OLIMPIaDA SAMSoNOVNA. Why, daddy, there are better people than you and me there, too.

BOLSHoV. There are, that's so! But how does it feel to be there? How'd you like to go through the street with a soldier? Oh, daughter! You see they've known me here in this city for forty years; for forty years they've all bowed to me down to their belts, but now the street brats point their fingers at me.

AGRAFeNA KONDRaTYEVNA. You haven't any color at all, my darling! You look like a ghost.

PODKHALYuZIN. Ah, daddy, G.o.d is merciful! When the rough places are smoothed over it'll all be pleasant again. Well, daddy, what do the creditors say?

BOLSHoV. Here's what: they've agreed on the terms. "What's the use," they say, "of dragging it out? Maybe it'll do good, maybe it won't; but just give something in cash, and deuce take you!"

PODKHALYuZIN. Why not give 'em something, sir! By all means do, sir! But do they ask much, daddy?

BOLSHoV. They ask twenty-five kopeks.

PODKHALYuZIN. That's a good deal, daddy!

BOLSHoV. Well, man, I know myself that it's a good deal; but what's to be done? They won't take less.

PODKHALYuZIN. If they'd take ten kopeks, then it'd be all right sir. Seven and a half for satisfaction, and two and a half for the expenses of the meeting.

BOLSHoV. That's the way I talked; but they won't listen to it.

PODKHALYuZIN. They carry it blamed high! But won't they take eight kopeks in five years?

BOLSHoV. What's the use, Lazar, we'll have to give twenty-five; that's what we proposed at first.

PODKHALYuZIN. But how, daddy! You yourself used to say not to give more than ten kopeks, sir. Just consider yourself: at the rate of twenty-five kopeks, that's a lot of money. Daddy, wouldn't you like to take a snack of something, sir? Mamma! order them to bring some vodka, and have them start the samovar; and we, for company's sake, 'll just take a thimbleful, sir.--But twenty-five kopeks's a lot, sir!

AGRAFeNA KONDRaTYEVNA. Right away, my dear, right away! [She goes out.

BOLSHoV. But what are you talking to me for: of course, I know it's a good deal, but how can I help it? They'll put you in the pen for a year and a half; they'll have a soldier lead you through the streets every week, and if you don't watch out, they'll even transfer you to prison: so you'd be glad to give even half a ruble. You don't know where to hide yourself from mere shame.

AGRAFeNA KONDRaTYEVNA _enters with vodka_; TISHKA _brings in relishes, and goes out_.

AGRAFeNA KONDRaTYEVNA. My own little dove! Eat, my dear, eat! I suppose they half starve you there!

PODKHALYuZIN. Eat, daddy! Don't be particular; we're offering you such as we have.

BOLSHoV. Thanks, Lazar, thanks! [_He drinks_] Take a drink yourself.

PODKHALYuZIN. Your health! [_He drinks_] Mamma, won't you have some, ma'am?

Please do!