CHAPTER XCIII.

NETTING CRABS.

Oh, sisters! judge of my feelings, when directly after Dempster, came a splendid gentleman--a creature of romance, shaded from the vulgar gaze by a felt hat, and dressed like a mariner along-sh.o.r.e. He lifted his hat to me, and also to E. E.--with a lofty reservation in her case.

"Mr. Burke," says Dempster, with a degree of carelessness that, I am sorry to say, is characteristic--"he will teach you how to catch the creatures; for there is an art in it."

"Then I shall never succeed," says I, in a low, gentle tone of voice.

"Where anything but pure nature is expected, I must always keep in the shade. You know, Cousin E. E., what an artless young thing I always was."

E. E. smiled--not at me but right up in the face of that strange gentleman. I declare, I never saw anything so bold in my life! But it was of no use; he came and sat down close to me. In fact, he took the parasol from my hand with a gallant air that made my heart beat like a partridge on a log. In one respect that movement wasn't an advantage: the parasol was not large enough to shade two, and he held it carelessly, as was natural to a dashing, splendid creature like him; but somehow the shade always fell on his side. I felt dreadfully certain that freckles were falling like split peas all over my face. Still he smiled so sweetly and looked so magnificent that, freckles or no freckles, I was ready to give him up my beehive, too, if he had only looked as if he wanted it.

Dear me, how that boat did heel up and rock as we went sailing off down to a green gra.s.sy point, where the gentleman told me the crabs swarmed like lady-bugs around a full-blown rose--pretty simliar, wasn't it, sisters, and so original?

I was dying to know what sort of a fish a crab was, never having seen any in our brooks. Were they like sun-fish, rainbowish and flat; or like trout, sparkled over with dripping jewels; or small and silvery, like shiners and pin-fish?

I did not like to ask that magnificent stranger about this, and let him believe that crabbing had been an amus.e.m.e.nt of my childhood up in the Green Mountains--not that I said so outright--but my idea of discretion is to say nothing of a thing you don't understand, but wait and find out. What is the good of telling the world how much you don't know?

Well, I hadn't the least idea what a crab was, but the name made me feel a little rily. The water was full of them; I was pretty sure to find out; so I waited.

By and by, Dempster flung a great stone co-slash into the water, and tied us up just below a little green point of land that took the sunshine in its long gra.s.s till it seemed full of drifting gold which spread out upon the water in soft, shiny ripples.

E. E. shut down her parasol. Mr. Burke shut mine. "Now," says he, "for the lines."

With this he took up a lump of raw fish, gave it a swing and a splash into the water, and handed me the other end. Dempster gave another line and a chunk of fish to his wife, and then took one of the hang-bird nets and stood by as if he meant to do business.

By and by I felt a sort of hungry nibbling at the end of my line, and gave it a jerk just as if it had been a brook trout, hard to catch.

"Oh, goodness!" I just dropped the line and screamed like everything, scared half to death. If ever an innocent female caught a claw-footed imp, I came near doing it then. Why the animal, varmint, double and twisted serpent--I don't know what to call it--clung to the bait till I hauled him clear out of the water, and then fell back with a big sprawl and an awful splash, sinking down again like a great mammoth spider that made the water bubble with disgust.

"What was it? What was it?" I said, turning my scared face on Mr. Burke.

"What kind of young sea-devil is this?"

He laughed, and laid down the net he had just taken up.

"You pulled too quick," says he. "Crabs are like women."

"Like women," I shrieked. "What, those horrid things? Sir, I thank you!"

My voice shook so I could hardly get the words out with proper irony. A generous rage in behalf of my s.e.x possessed me.

"You did not hear me out," says he, pleasant as a sweet apple. "I was going to say crabs were like women in this respect. They must be led along, enticed, persuaded up to the bait."

"Oh!" says I, "that is a sentiment I can appreciate, but the comparison is dreadful."

"There is hardly anything in nature which would not be dreadful compared to some females that I know of," says he.

I laid one hand on my bosom and bowed, but the next instant I felt one of those scraggly fiends pulling at my line, and I drew it softly in, hand-over-hand. Oh, how the beastly thing crept and crawled, and spread its scraggles as it nibbled and rose with the bait! I declare it made the flesh creep on my bones.

"That's right, draw gently--lure him up. Ho!"

As he spoke Mr. Burke just slid his net under the varmint, and flashed him up into the air, bait and all.

Sisters, there is no use in talking; if these creatures they call crabs ain't great salt-sea spiders, no such animals exist; and eels ain't fish, that's all.

Oh, I wish you could see them crawl up through the sea-gra.s.s and spread themselves. I declare it is just awful.

Well, down went this crab--which they all gloried in, being a great big gridiron of a fellow--into a hole in one end of the boat, and out went my bait after another.

At one great pull I brought up two wapping big fellows at a time, and trolled them on while Mr. Burke scooped them up. Chasing dragon flies in the old times was nothing to it.

E. E. was busy as a bee on her side of the boat, Dempster ladled the animals up for her, till we had a couple of dozen trying to creep away, and fighting each other like chickens in a coop.

By this time I could see that E. E., like a good many other people I could mention, was getting sort of restless for other attentions than those her husband could give. She kept casting side-glances at Mr.

Burke, and at last says she to Dempster:

"Dempster, it isn't expected that a man should always be a-hanging about his wife. It's time for you to do some netting for Phmie."

E. E. said this almost in a whisper, but I heard it, and all the temper in me riled up to my throat.

Sisters, this married woman was just dying to change off her husband for the beau that was devoting all his energies to me. I felt that the crisis had come that self-interest and a high moral standard demanded that I should keep this man from the lure of a married woman. I owed it to myself, to Dempster, and, above all, to the cause of morality, to hold that man firmly to his post.

"Phmie," says Dempster, coming up to me and looking as if b.u.t.ter wouldn't melt in his mouth, "let me scoop for you?"

Before I could speak Mr. Burke took that nefarious hint and went over to E. E.

I gave Dempster a look of withering contempt, and flung my bait out with a splash that must have scared all the crabs out of a year's growth.

"No," says I, "you may be willing to desert the marital outposts, but I will not help you. Go back to your wife; I can catch all the crabs I want without help."

"Well, just as you like," says Dempster, and, settling down on the bow of the boat, he pulled his hat over his eyes and went to sleep, then and there.

Three crabs come up to my bait--nibble, nibble, nibble. I drew in the line, they crawled through the water after it. Still I drew and drew.

Three great plump fellows came to the top of the water. It was a good chance to call Burke away. He was leaning over E. E. and whispering, while she listened.

"Here, here!" screamed I, "three at a haul. Will n.o.body help me?"

That man did not seem to hear me, but kept on whispering, while E. E.

listened with a smile on her lips and her eyes half shut. The sight made me awful mad.

"I'll catch them myself," says I, and down I plunged my hand into the water. I meant to grip the crab, but he gripped me.

Oh, mercy, how he pinched and bit, and screwed his claws around my hand.

It seemed as if he were twisting it into a corkscrew. I shrieked--I yelled--I tried to shake the varmint off--to dash him to atoms against the side of the boat. It was of no use: his sharp claws dug into me in fifty places; he bit like fury. The blood ran down my fingers, my voice grew weaker, but it broke up that flirtation. It was a cruel price, but I paid it cheerfully. While I retain my moral sense, no married woman shall degrade her s.e.x by a flirtation in my presence. Never, never!

Yes, my screams broke up that well-arranged plan to delude Mr. Burke from my side, and it broke up the crabbing party too.