Chapter Fifteen.

"To err is human, to loaf is Parisian," Daisy tells me with a rebellious look in her eye. We're lounging on my king-size bed in the Presidential Suite of the George V. Amy is sprawled out on the floor, busy with one of her coloring books. We ladies are drinking champagne and reclining like Marie Antoinette in the lap of luxury.

"To err is human, to loaf is Parisian," I repeat with amus.e.m.e.nt. "Who said that?"

Daisy sips her champagne. "Victor Hugo."

"The one who wrote The Hunchback of Notre Dame?"

"That's the one. What did you think of Notre Dame, Pearl?"

"I didn't have time to go in, just stood there mesmerized by its grandeur, gazing at those crazy gargoyles."

"Well, I have to say, I know it's wicked, and I'm only telling you this, because I know you'll keep it a secret, but I preferred just hanging out with you this afternoon. There's only so much sight-seeing you can do in one day. So glad I escaped." She takes another swig of champagne. "Let's have a butcher's then?" she asks, grabbing one of my shopping bags.

"What did you say?"

"Let's have a look inside that bag."

"No, what was that word you used?"

"Butchers. Butcher's hook. A look. Let's have a butchers. It's c.o.c.kney rhyming slang."

"What else can you say?"

"I can hail a sherbet."

"What's that?"

"A sherbet is a cab."

"How does that make sense?"

"Sherbert dab. Cab. Are you going to use the dog, then and call Alexandre?"

"The dog?"

"You're so slow, Pearl. Dog and bone. Phone."

"So you use the first word, but not the second?"

"Exactly, or it's too obvious. It was invented, or evolved, rather, to confuse people. Like a private language so n.o.body knew what they were talking about."

"So c.o.c.kneys are Londoners?"

"All c.o.c.kneys are Londoners but not all Londoners are c.o.c.kneys. I mean, I'm a Londoner but I'm hardly c.o.c.kney. I speak the Queen's English."

"So what makes someone a true c.o.c.kney, apart from their accent?"

"You have to be have been born within the sound of the Bow Bells; a church called St. Mary-le-Bow in the East End of London. So pick up the dog, then, Pearl. The dog and bone pick up the phone." You've been itching to call him all day."

"You're right, I have."

This is so awkward. I'm dying to divulge all to Daisy but of course, I can't. If I tell her about Laura's blackmail she'll want to know the whole story, and I'm sworn to secrecy. She knows Alexandre is in London but I've told her he's on business and just had to drop by Laura's to pick something up. Even that got her suspicious. I realize that it wasn't the best plan, after all, to have her over this evening, although I love hanging out with her. I lean over take a deep breath and grab the receiver of the hotel phone. I dial Alexandre's cell. It rings and rings until his voicemail picks up.

"Why isn't he answering?" I grumble under my breath. I leave a message. "Hey honey, just calling from the hotel. We had a lovely long day having lunch in the Marais, hanging out and shopping. Call me, I'm worried about you." I slowly hang up and look at Daisy. "Just...you know, he had an important business meeting with some new clients."

I hate lying to Daisy. She arches her eyebrows and I feel instantly guilty, as if she can read my mind. I need to ply her with more champagne. All I can think about is what Laura is going to say and do, and what Alexandre's reaction will be. I pour us both another gla.s.s.

"Isn't this delicious?" I say, taking a long sip. "I love pink champagne. So girly.

"Yeah, men aren't into it, so much, are they? It is a very girly thing. Hey, Pearl, put the dress on you bought."

A little voice pipes up from the carpet. "Yes Auntie Pearl, put that pretty dress on."

"Oh, by the way," and Daisy lowers her voice to an almost inaudible whisper, "Zac has been pushing me to move to Kauai. He says he's falling for me."

"But he hardly knows you."

She's twiddling her red curls between her fingers. When Daisy does that it means she's excited. "I think he's very keen."

I widen my eyes. "Are you going to go for it?"

"I've been checking out schools on the internet, and apartments."

"No?"

"I think I really might go for it."

"Well, the good thing is, if it's all a disaster, my father is there as a safety net."

"I don't know how safe your dad is, Pearl." Daisy cackles. She's pretty tipsy now. Good, it'll keep her off Alexandre's tail.

"What d'you mean?"

"It never rains, it pours."

"He made a move on you, too? What is with my father cherry picking my friends?"

"Not a move, exactly, but he did his fair share of flirting. He's b.l.o.o.d.y handsome, your dad. Very s.e.xy for an older man."

"He's not that old, he's only fifty-eight."

"Exactly. His body! b.l.o.o.d.y Norah!"

"You are attracted to my father?" I suddenly realize I'm talking too loud. Some smart little somebody might p.r.i.c.k up her little pixie ears.

"Talk about s.e.xy," hisses Daisy in another hoa.r.s.e whisper. "Wouldn't mind giving him one on a cold, rainy night."

"Daisy!"

"Just feeling a little h.o.r.n.y, that's all. I'm ready for a s.h.a.g. Not that Johnny and I did it that much but when it's taken away from you, you miss it."

"Why are you two whispering?" Amy squeaks. "You told me it was rude to whisper, Mommy."

Daisy bursts out laughing. "So I did. So I did. You are absolutely right, Amy. I must not whisper!" She's slurring her words now and I know that they'll have to spend the night. Fine. This suite has an extra bedroom with en-suite bathroom.

She stretches her legs out on the bed and plumps up a couple of ma.s.sive cushions behind her head. She lets out a sigh. "This is the life. You've really lucked out, Pearl. What a blast to be chilling out in hotels like this for the rest of your life. You'll never, ever, have to worry about paying a bill, ever again. Never have to do the washing up. Can drink pink champagne every b.l.o.o.d.y day of the week. What a laugh!"

The hotel phone rings. Thank G.o.d. It'll be Alexandre. I grab it eagerly.

"Alexandre?"

"h.e.l.lo, Pearl?"

It's not Alexandre. It's Elodie.

"Hi Elodie. What's up?" Poor thing can probably detect disappointment in my voice.

"Why didn't you come to lunch today with my grandmother?"

"Alexandre couldn't make it and I didn't want to go alone."

"I was there."

"Oh, I'm sorry I missed you."

"I have so much news. I've applied to go to art school in London and I want to tell you about my maid of honor dress. I went to see Zang Toi for a fitting."

"Great! That's so exciting about art school, Elodie. And I can't wait to see you in the gown. What's it like?" Ding, dong, it's my wedding, any second now. Talk about fittings; I'll need my gown let out a little.

"It's so beautiful, oh mon Dieu. It's a Paris Pink, silk mousseline de soie fitted gown with a low draped back, caught with silk roses."

"Wow, it sounds amazing."

"Is the wedding still St. Valentine's Day?"

"Yes, Elodie. It is." I say this with confidence but I'm panicking inside. In fact, I have been so caught up in the Laura drama that I haven't been organizing my own freakin' wedding. A good wake up call. I need to get moving. "Would you like to come over to the George V and hang out with us? Daisy and Amy are here."

"I can't, I have a rendezvous."

Elodie on a date! "That's great, Elodie, who's the lucky guy?"

"n.o.body. Just a video game online with a bunch of people."

"Oh."

"Well, bye Pearl. Kisses to my uncle."

"Bye." I hang up.

Daisy squeals, "Oh my G.o.d! Your wedding! It's the fourteenth? Really? Still in Lapland?"

"Yes, I need to speak to the wedding planner again, but...yes. But hardly any guests. I woke up the other day and suddenly got a headache thinking about hundreds of people who, in reality, probably don't give a d.a.m.n about us and would just be coming for the party. So we have a private jet booked and it's going to be just family and close friends."

"Am I a close friend? Am I invited?"

"And me!" Amy looks up from her coloring book.

"Of course you are, you silly fools. My dad, Anthony and Bruce if he'll agree to fly. Natalie and her boyfriend-"

"She has a boyfriend?"

"A gorgeous hunk; a cross between young versions of Wesley Snipes and Denzel Washington, apparently. A firefighter."

"Very nice."

"I know."

"Who else is coming? Let's see...well, it's all a bit short notice so...oh yes, some old school friends, and then Alexandre's family, his new video game business partner, plus a couple of his old buddies."

"Not Laura, I hope."

"No. Certainly not." I wince. For a few minutes, thinking about my wedding, the dreaded Laura had slipped my mind.

"So I don't understand - why, again, is Alexandre going to her house?"

"He, um, he's dropping some books by."

"All those Folio novels she left in Provence?"

"Exactly," I lie. "Another gla.s.s?" Quick, I need to top her up before her brain starts working overtime again.

"What about food?"

"Are you hungry already? Shall we order room service?"

Daisy gulps down some more bubbly. "No, I mean wedding food."

"Well, it's Lapland Finland, so they'll be a mixture of Scandinavian dishes and-"

"Will Santa Claus be at your wedding?" Amy stands up, rushes over, and leaps onto the bed.

"I think he'll be taking a well earned vacation, honey," I reply. "He worked so hard at Christmas; maybe he's by a beach somewhere drinking a c.o.c.ktail."