I closed my eyes and nodded. My mind was too foggy to lie, but the truth wasn't an option. I put a bandaged hand to my forehead. The pendant was gone. Maybe it was lying in the valley below Erik's balcony. No, his name wasn't Erik. Eros was so much more, and he was no longer mine. The words he whispered to me that first day I crossed the portal came into my mind. I'd heard them before, but couldn't remember where. "Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind..." The rest of the stanza from A Midsummer Night's Dream now came into my mind, "...And therefore is wing'd Cupid painted blind."

He tried to tell me, but I was too afraid to listen.

I'd heard the phrase "broken-hearted" thousands of times, but until that moment, I didn't realize it would actually hurt, that the anguish of losing his love would make my chest ache and my lungs constrict so that even breathing was painful. I was glad it hurt-glad my body could vouch for my suffering. For my stupidity.

I remembered Eros's glorious face and those angry violet eyes. No matter how long I lived, no one would compare to his beauty. His image was seared onto my memory where it would haunt me indefinitely. Every other face would be flawed, every other voice flat. If I was empty before he loved me, I was a desert now, a barren heart with no hope of rain where there had once been a valley full of lush tenderness. My hands ached under the bandages, and I wanted to cry. But how do you pull tears out of dry sand?

"What happened to you?" Savannah rushed into the room with my dad following somewhere behind.

I blinked awake and held out my arms. She hugged me. "I did what you said. I lit the candle and looked at him."

"He was a monster?" she whispered.

"No! He was a thousand times better than Holden."

"Holden?" It took a moment for the name to register. "You're on a first-name basis with Holden Valentine?"

"He was like a mirage, beautiful beyond belief. I reached out to touch him." My voice grew weak. "The candle wax dripped on his shoulder. I burned him. Literally." I was aware that my dad was standing at the foot of the bed listening, but I didn't care.

"So he did this to you?" She touched the bandages.

"He threw me out, but I couldn't leave. He has to come back sometime. He has to!"

She nodded. "Yeah. I'm sure he'll come back. You can apologize."

"He threw you out of his house?" Dad interrupted. "Then why were you in the forest?"

I met his eyes. "There's a portal between his world and ours. It's in the forest."

"A portal?" He shook his head.

"Savannah has been there. Tell him, Savannah."

She looked at my dad and back at me with wide eyes. "Ron, could we have a moment?"

My dad gave me a suspicious look and trudged out the door.

As soon as he was gone, I grabbed her arm. "You make him understand, Savannah. You have to."

"You've been through a lot. Just give this some time." She looked around the room. "You were wearing the stuff from his world when they found you?"

"Yeah, and I don't know what happened to the pendant. Will you see if you can find it?"

"Sure." She went to the closet and pulled out the plastic bag with "Personal Belongings" on the side. She drew out the dress and laid it on the chair next to my bed. Then she pulled out the sandals, belt, bracelet and arm cuff. At the very bottom was the pendant. She held it up for me to see.

I s.n.a.t.c.hed it from her hands and brought it to my lips. "Thank goodness. It's all I have left of him."

"I could stash this stuff at my house until you get out of here?" she offered. Savannah folded the dress and placed it in the bag along with the sandals. Then she carefully wrapped the belt around her hand, slid it off her fingers and set it on top with the bracelet and arm cuff inside. She looked up and waited for the pendant.

I studied the amethyst in the center of the signature. "I know his name now. It's not Erik. It's Eros."

"Eros, as in the... G.o.d ...of Love?" She blinked. "I guess that is a thousand times better than Holden Valentine." She held out her hand, and I dropped the pendant into her palm. "This pendant means you belong to him?"

"Not anymore."

Savannah considered the pendant, then placed it on top of the other things in the bag. "I'll keep these safe." She squeezed my arm. "Let them pamper you for a few days. You deserve it." With the bag in her hand, she left the room and closed the door. Through the window, I saw her talking to my dad. She held up the bag for him to see, and made a small gesture toward me.

I sank back relieved. She was explaining. He wouldn't think I was crazy, and maybe he wouldn't ask too many painful questions about Erik. It would be all right. When I got out of here, I would go back to the portal. I would find a way to cross the ravine, and I would get to Olympus. I wouldn't stop trying until he forgave me. Whatever it took, I would win Eros back.

When Dad returned a few hours later, he had a sandwich and a bottle of chocolate milk from the cafeteria. He didn't ask any questions, for which I felt a profound grat.i.tude to Savannah. He settled in the chair and picked up the television remote.

"How long do I have to stay?" I asked.

"Overnight." He frowned at the football game on the screen. MSU was losing. "They want to run some tests."

"For what?"

The offense fumbled the ball, took a timeout, and the screen went to commercial. Dad turned to me, his expression softer. "I just want you to get better." There was genuine sadness in his voice. He wasn't talking about hypothermia or frostbite.

The hospital released me the following afternoon. Dad drove through the wet streets. Snow clung to the upper elevations, but it rained in the valley. As soon as I got home, I called Savannah's cell phone. It went straight to voice mail. I called a dozen times over the next few hours but she didn't answer.

I called her house, and her mom answered on the first ring. "Psyche?"

"Is Savannah around? I tried her cell, but I got voice mail."

"I was just going to call you," Katherine said. "I thought you knew where she was."

"I haven't seen her since she visited me in the hospital." I waited, but she didn't reply. "Katherine?"

"I need to go. I'll tell her you called."

After she hung up, I called Travis, but he hadn't spoken to Savannah since Friday morning at school. I debated calling the police, but her parents beat me to it. An hour later a couple of deputies showed up at the door.

"Are you Psyche Middleton?" the deputy asked.

He was young, and I didn't know him, but when his partner came trudging up the steps after him, his face was familiar. "Hey, Todd," I said.

"Your dad around?"

"No. He went to check on the job. You want me to call him?"

Todd nodded. "We need to ask you some questions about your friend Savannah Schofield, and we'd rather he was here."

I pulled the cordless from its charger on the kitchen bar. "Do you guys want to come in?"

The younger officer started through the doorway, but Todd set a hand on his shoulder. "We'll wait in the car until your dad gets here."

When my dad's truck pulled up half an hour later, Todd and his partner crossed the wet gra.s.s toward the driveway. From the living room window I watched the three men approach the house. Something was definitely wrong.

The officers sat facing us in the living room, and the scene looked oddly like something from my dad's favorite cop show. Todd took out a pocket spiral notebook and a ballpoint pen. "When was the last time you saw Savannah?"

"She came to visit me at the hospital." I looked at my dad for help. Time had pa.s.sed in blips and blurs. There wasn't clock in the hospital room.

"It was about one o'clock yesterday afternoon. They released her today around noon."

"Have you spoken to her since?"

I answered, "No. I've been trying to call her. She took some of my belongings from the hospital for safe keeping, and I want them back."

"What kind of belongings?"

"A dress, sandals, and some jewelry." At my answer, Dad's brow furrowed, but he didn't speak.

"What can you tell me about this?" Todd reached into the pocket of his coat and drew out a plastic evidence bag that held a sheet of notebook paper, which he turned over for me to read. "Her parents found this in her room just before they made the missing person's report." The letter was in Savannah's handwriting.

Mom & Dad, I know you'll be worried about me, but you shouldn't be. I'd tell you where I'm going, but you wouldn't believe me. I can only say that Psyche has been there, and it's completely safe. I was devastated when Travis broke up with me, but now I realize it was for the best. There is someone better for me, and I'm going to be with him. I'm sorry I can't tell you more. Just know that I'm going to be happy (and very rich).

Love you, Savannah "No, she wouldn't," I stared in disbelief at the paper in my hands. It was impossible for my best friend to betray me so completely. I had known her since preschool. She wouldn't do this to me. But the dark reaches of my mind conjured involuntary images, like eighth grade when I confessed I had a crush on the guy who sat in front of me in English. The next day I caught Savannah talking with him at her locker. I accused her of telling him my secret, but she swore she didn't. Two days later they were a couple.

"What can I say?" She'd shrugged. "He likes me, not you."

Todd interrupted my thoughts, "Do you know where she might have gone?"

I wanted to hurl all over the coffee table. "She's going after Erik. I can't believe it. She has my pendant." She wasn't keeping it safe for me. She was using it to win him for herself. I hated her with more vehemence than I believed myself capable.

"Psyche," Dad said calmly. "Savannah said you rented that costume and that the jewelry was hers. She said you invented Erik's world."

"She lied," I said coldly.

He wasn't convinced. "I don't know what to tell you, Todd. I had her blood tested before we left the hospital."

"Tested for what?" Apparently everyone was taking to betrayal these days. "I'm not on drugs, Dad. And I'm not crazy!"

Todd eyed my dad kindly. "And?"

"Clean," he replied.

"Duh," I said.

"Here's the thing," said the younger cop. "Whatever the story, did Savannah believe you about this Erik?"

"Yes."

"So, you know where she might have gone?"

"The same place they found me, but if she got through, she won't be there. Her car will be, though."

Todd stood. "We need you to take us there."

My dad and I drove in silence. It was hard when he was mad at me, miserable now that he thought I was insane. Eros told Pixis to close the portal. The bridge was gone. Savannah couldn't possibly cross to the cave. I said a hundred silent prayers that she would be standing there on the rocks unable to get across. The thought of her in the palace basking in Eros's beauty made my whole body ache.

"Here." I pointed to the clearing in the brush. Twin tire tracks in the snow forged through the pines and junipers.

Dad parked the pickup on the road, and the police car pulled in behind us. We followed the tracks to Savannah's car, where all three men inspected it with their eyebrows raised.

"My Subaru is over there," I said. It obviously hadn't moved since the snow fell Sat.u.r.day morning.

"So, where's the portal?" Dad asked meekly.

"See the cave on the other side of the ravine? The portal was in there. There used to be a bridge across the ravine, but it's gone now."

The young officer started toward the rock outcropping facing the cave. "You say there was a bridge? There's no trace of where it attached to the ... Todd!"

Both Dad and Todd ran to the ledge and looked over.

"What? What is it?" I demanded.

"It's Savannah," Dad said quietly.

I rushed toward the ledge, but Dad caught me by the shoulders. I pushed him away and grew woozy looking over the edge. Savannah lay on her back at the bottom of the ravine with her eyes open. She wore my white gown and the pendant around her neck. I teetered; the rocks spun.

My dad pulled me away from the ledge and hugged me to his chest. "I'm sorry, Psyche." I felt him shiver. "I am so sorry." He led me back to the truck and ordered me to stay inside.

I stared blankly at the dashboard. The young deputy found a path and hiked to the bottom of the ravine, but we were too late. Savannah was dead. The news went into my ears and stayed there, unable to penetrate the rest of me. I waited for a paramedic to say we were mistaken. She was badly injured, but she would come around. I turned my face away as they loaded the body bag into the coroner's van.

My mind swirled in irreverent courses. I wondered how Travis would take the news and what her parents would do with all her shoes. Would they blame me for her death? Mostly, I wanted someone to tell me whether I was angry or sad. Her last act in life had been to betray me. Did that somehow cancel thirteen years of friendship? Could I hate her and miss her at the same time? Could I survive high school without her?

Savannah wasn't afraid when we crossed the bridge the first time. She didn't know it was gone. The police report would list her death as suicide, but I knew better. She tried to march across a bridge that was no longer there. She wouldn't have stopped to test it like I had. No, Savannah was always supremely confident that what she wanted, she would get. She had set her course for Eros, and she died for it. I wondered if he knew.

"I'll pick up your car later," my dad said quietly as he put the truck in gear. He drove far off the road to get around the police and emergency vehicles.

The ride home was b.u.mpy. My vision blurred. I found myself at home sitting on the bed but didn't remember getting there. I changed into pajamas and stared at the ceiling.

My dad came and went. In the morning he brought breakfast and put it on the nightstand. At night he gathered up the full plate with a sigh and put dinner in its place. Sometimes I slept. Mostly I just lived in my mind with Savannah and Eros, unwilling to see a world beyond the walls of my room that existed without them.

Chapter 12.

I woke to a crash and found my dad standing over me, a shattered plate on the carpet and taco ca.s.serole splattered across the wall. "Get up! It's been three days. I will not let you die with her!" He pulled me out of the bed.

I tried to jerk away.

"Get in the shower and go to school. People die, Psyche. You have to deal with it."