I felt a pang shoot through the region of my heart at the sight of him.

He rubbed the heel of his hand over the same spot on his chest.

Odd.

For an hour and fifteen minutes, they put on a mind-blowing set, and I ended up screaming the voice right out of me. Although not the longest show of theirs that we'd seen, it was certainly one of the best.

"NOLA's Own!" Phil cried out toward the end, his impressively deep voice hitting me down in my vitals. "This is our last show stateside! We kick off our European tour next week, and there's no better way for us to ship out than to play for own neighborhood one last time!"

My heart both sank and rejoiced. Who knows when we'll see them again?

But they were such amazingly talented musicians. How could we not share them with the rest of the world?

"We love you, NOLA, more than you could ever know, and we'll be back to kick some fuckin' ass with y'all soon-just not real soon." He laughed.

The sound of it was genuine, and it warmed some deep part of me that had felt frigid for quite some time.

"So, let's say good-bye for now...with 'A Fist to the Face'!"

They played a blistering seven-minute tribute of their number one single, rendering the crowd savage. We screamed and headbanged and cheered to the very last note, and then we screamed for more.

"Thank you, NOLA's Own!" Phil cried.

He threw the mic down, exiting offstage to the left-toward us. My heart squeezed a little. I'd be able to get one last good look of him before he left-possibly forever.

Bending down behind a speaker, he grabbed a bottle of water. When he looked up, he looked straight into my eyes. Shock registered on his face.

He fucking recognizes me!

He looked as though he'd been Tasered, and I couldn't help but feel it, too. I was just as stunned that he'd recognized and remembered me at all.

Oh, fuck me. How do I get to him?

The need to touch him, to tell him that I- I don't know. Miss him?

Ridiculous. I don't know him.

But the urge was overwhelming-this need to just hold on to him and never let go.

Phil looked ready to jump off the stage to get to me. Indeed, he took a step toward me, getting ready to leap over the barricade into the crowd.

He opened his mouth. "Baby Girl!"

I saw his mouth shape the words, but I couldn't hear it over the screams of the crowd.

Holy shit! I am his Baby Girl!

I couldn't really believe that I was actually believing it, but there it was.

X came up behind him, throwing his arm around Phil's shoulders, jumping and shouting for the pure joy of it. He didn't know it, but he was holding his giant friend back from charging and bounding into the crowd.

Phil stared at me, his eyes begging me to tell him what to do.

I have to let you go.

Panic crossed his features, and he shook his head.

Yes. I nodded sadly, feeling my heart shatter apart. I have to let you go, my Dark God of the Universe. But I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here, waiting for you, if you ever want to come back for me. I promise, I won't go anywhere.

Then, I pressed my hands together in front of my heart.

I honor the place in you where Spirit lives.

I honor the place in you, which is of Love, of Truth, of Light, of Peace.

When you are in that place within you and I am in that place within me, then we are One.

Namaste.

He stared at me just for a few beats longer and returned the gesture. I hoped to the gods that he understood me because in that very moment, I believed. He had made me believe.

Phil "Baby Girl!"

Shut the fuck up! She is right there! Holy fuckin' shit!

Get to her, motherfucker! Don't you fuckin' lose sight of her! She's right there!

I was gonna do it. I was gonna jump my ass into the fuckin' masses and run off with her. She was coming with me. That was it. Nothing was gonna fuckin' keep us apart no more.

Except...

My Baby Girl's eyes shone with sadness, and I saw her shattered heart in them. I didn't get it for a split second. I wanted to tear down whatever had put that look in her eyes.

It was me.

She's lettin' me go!

No!

Fuck, fuck, fuck. This isn't happenin'! She's sayin' good-bye!

Baby Girl, no! Why? Why are you doin' this?

My fuckin' heart was shattering right there with hers.

Why? Why? Why?

X jumped on my back, pulling me out of leaping off the damn stage, and it hit me hard in my chest. It was for this-for the band, for the tour, for everything we had worked our asses off for. This was why she was letting me go.

Bringing her hands together before her heart, she smiled her heartbreaker smile, and for that one moment, I was filled with a sense of peace. It was all right. Everything would be okay. It felt so good that I had to return it, wanting her to feel it, too.

I'll be back for you, Baby Girl. Don't you fuckin' go nowhere.

"I'll be right here, waiting for you..."

"All passengers for Continental flight twelve twenty-five please proceed to gate seventeen."

Fuckin' hell.

Three days had passed since I last saw my Baby Girl in an ocean of faces.

Hers had shone like a beacon, her cool white inner light such a beautiful thing to behold. With my whole being, I just wanted to lose myself in her and never be found by anyone or anything ever again. I was kicking myself for my career choice. Fuck the fact that it was what had brought us together in the first place. I should've decided to go into investment like my dad. I could have gone to school and made a normal life for myself, so I could have one with her.

She had let me go.

So...I was going.

We were boarding a plane to New York and then another one to Amsterdam. Me and the guys and our road manager, Sheri had everything we could possibly shove into our duffel bags, including every stitch of clothing I owned. Flipper had his kit shipped out right after the last show, and the rest of us had checked in our guitars and basses.

This was it. We had made a name for ourselves, and we were heading to Europe with no idea of when we'd ever come home.

Dad and Danielle hugged me good-bye at the security point.

Danielle wiped tears from her eyes. "Promise you'll call me and Dad when you get there, okay, little brother?"

"I promise, Pint Size," I replied, giving her an extra squeeze.

More than anything, I ached for a copper-headed amazon to come running to the security point, screaming my name and begging me to take her with me. But she never came. It was just a wish not meant to come true.

She had let me go.

I guessed I would have to let her go, too.

Kenna A week and a half later, I started school at the second-year level, and my work at the center was accredited toward my internship.

It became easy to simply lose myself in my work. When I wasn't in school, I was at the center. I was taking night classes to become a nutritionist. I was certified for acupuncture, and I'd started applying that to my treatments. The amount of knowledge I'd acquired was staggering. It kept me focused on what I had to do to make it through another day, another week, another month. Otherwise, I'd just lie down and stare at my NOLA's Junk poster and cry until Phil came back for me.

I had convinced myself that was never going to happen.

I took my yoga practice more seriously than ever, waking up each morning at five so that I could get in two hours a day plus meditation. During my hour lunch break, I'd meditate for forty-five minutes before taking fifteen minutes to eat, and I'd do it again before I went to bed.

When I meditated, Phil's voice would speak to me. I knew I wasn't crazy even though I kept wondering if I was fucking crazy. Obsessed? Yeah, maybe. I'd even go so far as to say that I was slightly unhinged. But I was not crazy. I was just lonely and meditating away the days, the weeks, the months...

My social life was pretty nonexistent. Sometimes, I'd go with Lili to catch a band at Bougainvillea, but I'd found it easier to keep on going if I just stayed focused.

"This is supposed to be the most exciting years of our lives!" Lili raged at me. "And you're either at school or have your nose shoved in a book or trying to shove us full of needles! Or you're in meditationland or yogaland, or-"

"It's not forever, Lili," I told her. I sparked up a spliff in my bedroom after Grandma had gone to sleep. "But this is how it has to be right now."

She flopped down next to me, snatching the joint from my fingers. "I miss you, Kenna. And I miss Alys. We're supposed to all be in this together."

"We are," I said, taking back the joint. "It's just...there's so much I need to do. If I slow down right now, I might actually feel how exhausted I must be. If I keep going, then I won't lose momentum."

"It's because of what happened at Twisted Festivus," she said softly, making my heart freeze for a few seconds. "I saw hope in you for the first time in a long time, and it scared the shit out of you. So, now, you're doing everything you can not to think about it."

Heaving a pungent sigh, I handed back the joint. "So?"

"So, I want my best friend back."

"I haven't gone anywhere, Lili. I just need to stay focused and make it through the next four years of my life, okay? You know I'm always here if you need me."

"I know, but I get the feeling that you're the one who needs someone, not me. And I don't think you'll ask."

"I'm fine, honestly," I told her, knowing deep down that I really wasn't. But I would be-one day.

So, Lili backed off and let me do what I had to do.

Monday through Friday, I would go to school. Saturdays, I'd work at the center, and Sundays, I'd recharge my batteries. At the pace that I was moving, I hardly noticed that time even existed.

Before we even realized it, two and a half years had passed.

"I think we should go through your mother's things."

Surprised, I looked up at Grandma. "Really?"

The day was bright with sunlight and a pleasant breeze. We were having lunch on the back porch. I'd made her a fat turkey sandwich with kale chips, and she was pile-driving through it like she hadn't eaten in days. She was in heaven with the crunchy chips and toasted bread. Grandma loved noisy food.

She nodded. "It's time, honey. I see now what a waste it's been, holding on to everything for so long. It should've been done a long while ago."

"All right." I wonder what's gotten into her.

It was June, and I'd just completed my education and passed my medical boards in the ninety-ninth percentile. With all the extra hours I had put into my schooling, I had six months left of my internship to go, but I was already Dr. Kenna MacGregor.

"When do you think you'll have some free time?"

"I'm on break until July, remember? I start the rest of my internship in two weeks."

"That's right. Alys should be coming home soon, too. Is she planning on moving back in with her parents?"

"I believe so. At least at first."

"You should ask her if she wants to live here."

"Where would she sleep? She'd kind of need a bedroom."

"She can have your old room."

"Are you kicking me out for Alys then?"