"Yeah," replied Phil. "Now, you all can fuck off. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Phil-" said Jason.

"You need to be the first to fuck off," snapped Phil, pointing an ominous finger at him.

Jason fired a mutinous glare at Phil before he stormed out through the sliding panel door. Not too far behind, Flipper and Tim headed out, and X winked at me and grinned before following them. Phil covered the distance in a couple of strides and locked the door behind them.

"Are you mad at me again?" I asked.

"No. Why would I be?"

"Because I said you should go."

"You were only sayin' the truth," he stated. Then, he walked up to me and swept me up into his arms, his mouth taking utter possession of mine.

Sighing with unadulterated happiness, I wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders and gave myself up to him. He tasted like toothpaste and Phil, and there was nothing better. I was slightly disappointed when he pulled back, his eyes sparkling.

"I'm gonna miss the fuck outta you."

"I'm sure I'll miss the fuck outta you, too," I replied with a grin of my own. "Want to go for some food?"

"I could go for some food."

One of my all-time favorite places for a fantastic breakfast was a little mom-and-pop place called the News Stand Cafe. They served only locally grown organic food and lots of it. And the coffee...oh, the coffee. They made the best lattes ever.

Light and airy, I found it to be moderately cheerful in here with photos of happy organic animals running free in green fields before they had been brought to the slaughter for my gastronomical enjoyment. Potted ferns and ficus trees every few feet brought a fresh sort of outdoorsy feel to the place.

Seated in a booth in a back corner of the restaurant, Phil took the bench against the wall, so he could watch who came through the door.

He looked around for a few seconds before hissing at me, "You've brought me to a hippie restaurant!" He looked positively scandalized.

"One that has some seriously good fucking food."

"Hippie food," he grumbled.

"You'd better get used to it if want to be with me. I only cook hippie food."

"I never want to be without you," he told me as he snapped open his menu. He didn't even look through it before putting it back down on the table and taking my hands in his. "Kenna, there's nothin' and no one more important to me than you. Everythin' I've done the past six years means nothin' if I can't have you in my life from now on. The thought of comin' home and findin' you has been the only thing that's kept me goin'."

He was looking at me with such intensity that it was a wonder I didn't combust.

"Phil," I whispered, "knock it off. You're going to make me cry."

His eyes narrowed, and he opened his mouth.

"I mean it!" I snapped.

"Hi, guys! My name's Janine. I'll be your server today," said the perky little thing who had popped up next to our table. "Can I get you something to drink?"

Phil looked up at her with a thunderous expression on his face, making her smile slip a bit.

"I'll have a double latte and a large orange juice," I said, picking up a menu.

"Regular coffee," grunted Phil.

"You have to have an orange juice. They have the best," I told him.

"And an orange juice," he added.

"Coming right up!"

He scowled at her retreating back before looking at me again. "You're a pushy little shit, you know that?"

"Yep."

He looked surprised by my agreeing, and his lips twitched. "You're too cute."

Rolling my eyes, I asked, "What are you going to have?"

Picking up the menu again, he started browsing. "Why don't you just tell me what I want to have?"

"Keep being an ass, and I'll order you the vegetarian special."

"Now, you're just being evil."

I grinned wickedly.

Janine came back with our coffees and juice, and I ordered the fruit platter with Brie and fresh rolls while Phil got the farmer's omelet with ham and veggies, a side of bacon with sausages, hash browns, and toast.

"Will that fill you up?" I asked, feeling a little snarky.

The snarky sailed right over his head. "It'll hold me over."

"No doubt."

As he took a gulp of his orange juice, the sight of the large cup looking so tiny in his huge hand struck me as hilarious.

"Damn, that is some fuckin' awesome juice."

"Right?"

We sat for a few moments in silence, mostly because I was wondering how to phrase my next question. He seemed preoccupied with just looking around. I guessed being direct was the way to go. He had been pretty open and direct with me.

"So, why does Jason hate me?"

He turned startled eyes on me. "I don't think he does."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. He's just scared I'll drop everything to be with you."

"Ridiculous," I huffed.

"Is it?"

My eyes went wide as I felt a zing of panic. "Isn't it?"

"I don't know. I want more out of life than just the band."

"Like what?"

He shrugged. "You, for starters."

"Yeah, but a relationship with me shouldn't interfere with NOLA's Junk."

"I told you, it's you and me from now on, Baby Girl. The rest can go to hell."

"We've known each other for less than two days!"

"Really? 'Cause I'm thinkin' that I've known you my whole life."

He's right though. It really does feel like that, like we've known each other all along and just sort of met up again after a long separation.

"It's like that for you, too, isn't it." It wasn't a question.

He was giving me that combustible gaze again.

"Something like that," I admitted, looking out the window instead of at him.

"Hey," he said softly, taking my hands in his once more.

"Yeah?"

"What bothers you so much about it?"

It should really creep me out that he reads me so well.

I shrugged. "I'm not sure really. It's a bit unnerving how...easy it has been to fall into this with you. It makes me want to take a step back-"

"Oh, hells no-"

"And see the bigger picture."

"What bigger picture? It is what it is."

"It's that, too."

"Can't it just be...wonderful? And amazin'?" he asked. "Can't we both just accept that this is how we feel about each other and just go with it?"

Who's the dirty hippie now? I thought. He has a point though.

I squeezed his hands and tried to smile for him.

"I've spent so long repressing what I feel that I think maybe I've forgotten how to do just that," I said, surprising myself.

Holy shit...it's true. I haven't let myself feel anything for so long, not since...the night I lost him. And after that, all I could feel was anger. When that burned itself out, I was left with nothing.

"Are you scared of how I make you feel?" he asked quietly.

Am I?

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I...I'm not sure I know. You're very intense. I can feel you more than anything else. Your energy...is so strong, so...enormous. I'm afraid to lose myself in it because I know that once I do...the person who I am might disappear completely."

His gaze stripped me down, and I felt so vulnerable before him that I had to break eye contact.

"Don't do that. Don't look away from me," he said.

"I can't just change overnight," I told him. "I'm not like you. I can't just put what I feel out there when I'm not even sure what it is I'm feeling. I've spent a long time just doing what I've had to do to get through another day. Besides Alys and Lili, the only people I've had any social contact with have been people who are suffering and in pain. I think maybe I've internalized a lot of my feelings and thoughts so I can face that."

"I never considered that," he said, sounding pensive.

A small smile tugged at the corners of my mouth. "Why would you?"

"To try to understand you I guess."

"That kind of understanding comes from time spent like this, Phil. Do you really want to understand me, where I'm coming from? Is it really important to you?"

"Yes," he replied, sounding all pissed again.

"Okay. Then, we know where to go from here. You tone it down, and I'll step it up, so we can strike some sort of balance for now. I do want to be able to be open with you. I want to share myself with you. It's just going to take some time, all right?"

He sighed, "All right."

When Janine dropped off our breakfast, I watched with morbid fascination as Phil steamrolled through his vast amount of food. It made sense, considering he was the largest man I knew. I came from a family of large people myself, so I shouldn't have been so surprised, but in all honesty, I thought he ate twice the amount that Connor could, and Connor was only a few inches shorter than Phil.

Once again, he wouldn't hear of me paying. I should just give up on that altogether.

"What should we do now?" I asked as we headed out to the parking lot.

"What do you want to do?"

"You're the one who's been gone for five years!" I laughed. "What do you want to do?"

"Let's go to the Reptile Sanctuary."