Otis returned with the iced teas and quickly scampered off.

"So, tell me how it feels, being back," I demanded before taking a sip of tea.

His eyes burned into mine, making me feel like I was being stripped bare.

"It's weird," he said, tearing away his gaze and looking out over the water. "A lot seems to have changed, but it's the same, you know?"

"I suppose. I've been through all the changes, so I guess I don't see it the same way."

Otis dropped off two orders of raw oysters, and we dug in.

"So, you've been here your whole life?" he asked.

"Um, no. Alys and I grew up on a compound outside of Pensacola," I replied.

Then, I ended up telling him all about the hippie commune, the cultlike transformation, and our move to LaPlace. I avoided telling him exactly where I lived.

"What about you? What was your childhood like?" I asked.

Otis dropped off the alligator bites with a spicy cream sauce.

"It was pretty good," Phil replied before popping a piece into his mouth. He closed his eyes and grunted with bliss. "Fuck, I love this shit."

He reached for another bite, dipped it into the sauce, and held it up to my lips. I took it and the tip of his cream-sauced thumb into my mouth. Nostrils flaring, his breath caught in his chest, and I saw his pupils grow wide.

"I want you so bad, Baby Girl." His voice was pitched low and husky.

"I want you, too," I told him, smiling. "But I thought we wanted to do this right."

"What could possibly be so wrong about us fuckin'?" he demanded, sounding a little pissy.

"Well, first off, I certainly don't want our first time to be fucking. I've waited just as long as you have, and I want something more than a fuck."

He leaned back in his chair, his jaw clenching. "It would be."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"How do you know?"

"I just do."

"How many people have you fucked, Phil?" I asked, genuinely curious.

Even though I'd held no accusation in my tone, this question seemed to piss him off.

"What does it matter?"

"Honestly, it doesn't. Just curious."

"I don't know," he admitted. "A lot."

"How many of them meant something to you?"

"Very few-if any, really. What's the point you're tryin' to make?"

"Are you uncomfortable discussing this with me?"

"Yes!" he hissed.

"Why's that?"

"Because...I don't know. You're makin' me feel..."

"What?"

He looked over the water for a few minutes, trying to figure out what it was he wanted to say.

"It's not like it would be like that between us," he stated finally. "It would mean something. It would mean everything."

"I'm just trying to make sure of that," I said softly. "We've found each other. There's no rush. I want to enjoy this time with you, get to know you, so when it does finally happen, it's because there's more backing it up."

He looked at me again, his eyes brightly feverish. "I get that. I want that, too. It's just..."

He didn't elaborate, and honestly, I was chickenshit to ask whatever he was about to say.

"How many people have you been with?" he asked, his voice low and soft.

"I'm a virgin," I chirped. I just wanted to see his reaction.

"The fuck you are! Seriously?" He looked at me with an incredulous expression.

"No," I chuckled.

"That ain't funny!" he grumped before shoving another piece of food into his mouth.

"I beg to differ. That was priceless. You looked like you'd won the lotto, but you were terrified of collecting the money."

He blinked at me. "You're diabolical."

"To my black soul," I agreed with cheekiness.

He grinned. "Seriously though."

"I'll tell you if you give me an estimated number of yours."

Scowling at me, he said, "I really have no idea."

"Are we speaking, like, over a hundred?"

His lips compressed, and his eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Damn. I'll take that as a yes then."

"And you?" he stressed.

"Two."

"Two?"

"Two," I repeated.

"Oh. Before we met?"

I shook my head. "Just my high school boyfriend, Jaime."

"There was someone after."

"Yes. I had a six-month relationship with a very nice man. I'd gotten tired of being alone."

"I felt that," he told me, his voice hushed. "I knew I was losin' you before I even had the chance to get to know you."

"Really?"

He nodded. "It was pretty recent, wasn't it?"

"It was."

"Did you love him?"

"Not enough," I replied.

I could see that he didn't know how to take that. He was pissed, but he wanted to be understanding. After all, here I was, sitting with him on this fine Saturday afternoon.

"What made you end it?" he asked quietly.

"You," I replied truthfully. "I couldn't commit to him, and he deserved more. The whole time I was with him, I was holding back. He knew that I had feelings for someone else, but he hoped that I would forget about you over time. For a while there, I tried to."

"What-"

"I saw the clip of 'Louisiana Baby' in Rio," I told him. "You told me you were coming home. So, I ended it. I haven't spoken to him since."

"When was that?"

"About four weeks ago."

He was thinking hard. "You weren't with anyone else?"

"I was celibate for six years, Phil. I'd had enough. Can you blame me?"

"No, I'm just...how the hell did you go six years without getting laid?"

"School and work helped," I replied while thinking, You weren't here.

He looked stunned, and I got the feeling he was severely disappointed in himself. All this time, I had truly waited for him, and he had gone away and stuck his cock into anything that moved.

"Phil?"

"Yeah, Baby Girl."

"It doesn't bother me-your past. It's where it stays, right? I mean, you can commit. You can be faithful to me?"

His eyes were burning again when he turned them on me. "Yes. That'll never be an issue between us. I promise."

I nodded. "Then, that's settled. Would you mind getting tested?"

"I'm clean. In any case, Sheri makes us get tested every month. We all got our results when we came home. I haven't done anythin' with anyone in a while, and I've never had sex without protection-ever."

"Really?"

"Really. From my very first time."

"I never have either."

"Have you been tested?"

"Yes. I got a clean bill last week."

He nodded. "Yeah, so I guess that it is settled then."

"You still want to do this?"

He gave me a hard glare. "What do you mean?"

"Us."

"Kenna, let me make somethin' perfectly clear to you. Nothin' will ever take you away from me and vice versa. If you ever decide to end it, I'll need to be locked up for the rest of my life because I will never, ever leave you alone. From here on out, it's you and me. Got it?"

No, that's not creepy at all.

It was so creepy that it made me smile huge, and I felt stupidly happy again. "Got it."

After we had plowed through the appetizers, Otis returned to take our lunch order and whisk our empty dishes away.

Phil ordered a bowl of gumbo, fried catfish with potatoes and okra, a side of grits, bacon-wrapped scallops, and collard greens. No lie, the man could probably eat everything in the restaurant and then go for ice cream afterward. I decided to eat my own meal extremely slow to give him time to demolish the mad amount of food.

"So, tell me about your childhood," I said before taking a bite of my blackened snapper salad.