Nina said she knew, and her mind understood everything Doctor Dorn said.

But the things her mind knew and understood were not able to change the way she felt. She said she was sorry she had made us all lose so much time. She would not talk about it any more.

Doctor Dorn asked Nina would she please answer just one more question.

Did she have this good feeling while we were walking up the little climb near the end of Black Pa.s.sage.

Nina nodded her head yes, and Doctor Dorn said it was very interesting.

Then in a different voice, he said that Hope Pa.s.sage was our best chance of finding life, and after this sleep we would continue our walk there.

Twentieth Awake, 21 Juli 2207

A few hours ago we said goodbye to Ralf and Mari and Bruno, and watched them start down Hope Pa.s.sage. I think they may find life again soon.

Even now, I do not understand clearly why we are not with them; why we are climbing in this old rough pa.s.sage which rises so steeply we must stop every little while to rest.

Many thoughts must have come to Doctor Dorn during our last sleep, because when we awoke he was different from any way he had been before.

For a little while, he just walked up and back rubbing his chin as if he were thinking very hard. Then all of a sudden he stopped and came over to Nina. He asked Nina whether if we were not here, if she had to decide only for herself, knowing all he had told her, would she still take the old pa.s.sage?

Nina said yes, she would. Doctor Dorn sat down. He said he was going to say strong words. He was going to tell us some of the things he had read in the Forbidden Books.

For thousands of years Man had first lived on Earth Surface, the books said. But then great wars had come and Man had studied hard and learned ways to kill each other millions at a time. But some of the men who did not want to die had dug deep into the earth to live. Everyone in the earth, the books said, came from these first men from Earth Surface.

Doctor Dorn stopped to let us think about what he had told us. _Earth Surface_--nothing above but nothing--and nothing beyond nothing--the thought is more than the mind can hold. That men could have lived on such a place is too much to be believed.

There were some things written in the Forbidden Books that could not be true, Doctor Dorn said, like the plants called trees that grew to be many times taller than a man; or lakes called oceans that were larger than a thousand Red Lakes together. But even though these and some other things the books said were not possible, there was something about the story of men living on Earth Surface that made him wonder. All sleep he had not slept, but had thought how the old pa.s.sage we had found near the statue might be one of the surface pa.s.sages the books told about. He could not imagine any City in the Earth building a pa.s.sage so steep and so rough.

Doctor Dorn stopped talking for a moment, and he looked at me. He seemed very excited. "Jon," he said, "my own feeling now is to take Surface Pa.s.sage. I cannot do this alone with one lamp. You know how Nina feels.

Will you and Nina come with me?"

My thoughts must have been like those of the lost-mind men in the hospital at Central City. Even now I do not know why I said we would.

Maybe it was because of the way Nina's eyes shone when Doctor Dorn talked about Earth Surface. Nina is a wonderful girl and I love her very much, but sometimes I think I do not understand her completely.

Ralf and Mari talked together for a long time. Then Ralf told Doctor Dorn he thought Hope Pa.s.sage was the best chance for finding life. They would not come with us.

Doctor Dorn said he understood. He was sorry we had to separate now, but each must do what was in his own thoughts and heart. Then he asked Bruno if he was coming with us, and Bruno shook his head no, and did not say anything.

Theodor thought for even a longer time than Ralf and Mari. He kept biting the nails on his fingers and every little while his eyes would look at Bruno. I knew he was afraid to come with us; but also he was afraid to be alone with Bruno with only Ralf to help him if anything happened. Finally, in a very low voice, he said he would come with us.

Doctor Dorn said fine, now there was one more thing we must do before we started. We must take the oil from one of the lamps and put it in the other six lamps so there would be the same amount in each one. Then each group would take three lamps.

Theodor said this was not fair. There were four of us so we should have four lamps. Doctor Dorn said four people needed no more light than three people.

It was very sad when we had to separate. Mari and Nina cried a little.

For a long time after we found Surface Pa.s.sage and were climbing in it, no one said anything. Perhaps after next sleep, our sadness may be less.

Twenty-First Awake, 22 Juli 2207

The pa.s.sage is still climbing and we rest often. I write a little during some of our rests.

There is very little oil left. Doctor Dorn says we must take a dangerous chance. No lamp has gone out for a long time. If we burn only one lamp, we can have light for almost four more awakes and sleeps. If this is really a Surface Pa.s.sage, and if what is written in the forbidden books is true, this time may be enough for us to reach Earth Surface.

We have been burning only one lamp since our last rest. How bright does the light from the two lamps seem now. Nina says she feels she can reach out and touch the blackness.

Theodor is very frightened. Over and over he says we must go back and take the other pa.s.sage, that if we go on we shall all be dead bones. I think Doctor Dorn would become angry if he did not understand how frightened Theodor is.

During rest, Theodor spoke words that made Nina feel very sad. He said it was because of her that we would all die. I became very angry, and told him if he said anything like that again, I would finish what Bruno had started. He knows I would not do this, but now he talks very little.

Twenty-Second Awake, 23 Juli 2207

We walk up Surface Pa.s.sage still, but there is a difference. Before last sleep there was much hope in our hearts. Now our hope is almost nothing.

It was Nina who knew first. She brought me out of sleep, shaking my shoulder and saying my name, until my mind was awake enough to understand.

Theodor was gone!

He had left us the one lamp that was burning. The other two lamps he had taken; and all of our food and water. But our hunger may never become too great. With one lamp, there will be light until only a few hours after next sleep.

Doctor Dorn blames himself. He says he should have been able to tell that Theodor might do something like this. But Doctor Dorn feels the same tiredness that is in us all, making our thoughts like shadows.

Sleep time has come, but we do not stop. We will walk on and rest when we must. When the end of life is so near, the will finds strength.

Twenty-Third Awake, 24 Juli 2207

We have walked through sleep and we have slept while we walked. The rise is steeper. Our oil lamp is still burning and our shadows fall behind us into the blackness. There will be light for perhaps ten more hours.

There is a dampness now in the pa.s.sage, like that of the pa.s.sage to Red Lake. Our tiredness is so great we become afraid sometimes that after one of our rests we may not be able to go on. I am worried about Nina.

She says nothing, but I think for a long while now she has been walking on heart strength alone. We have seven hours of light before us.

The pa.s.sage has ended. For a moment the thought came that we were on Earth Surface. But Doctor Dorn says we are in a great cavern, larger even than the Cavern of Red Lake. Our one light is as nothing in this great blackness, and we walk close to the wall so we will not become lost. In some places the walls are like gla.s.s as if from a very great heat. There are more pa.s.sages in the sides of this cavern than the mind can imagine. But after this rest there is nothing else we can do but try one of them.

For five hours we have been lost in pa.s.sages that curve and turn and join with each other as madly as if they were made by lost-mind men. Now we have found our way back to the Great Cavern. We shall stay here the two hours longer our light and lives will last.

It is easier now that our hope is nothing.

We can rest and wait, and even our fear becomes less in our tiredness.

The time has gone slowly, but the light from the lamp is becoming less now. In a few seconds it will go out, and the Groles will come, and our lives will be over. Perhaps for an instant before we die, we shall know what the Groles are; or perhaps it happens so quickly we will never know anything. This may be the better way. Nina trembles in my arms.

We wait in the blackness. The lamp has been out for many minutes but the Groles have not come.