And that was saying something for him-a man who had a knack for counting everything.

But when Lillian Shaughnessy died, there was no one there to remind him that it was okay to be different. Or that he was going to make a difference in the world. Not that his father hadn't tried. But with six kids, he had been more than a little overwhelmed and didn't seem to know how to do and say all the things his wife had.

Emotion clogged his throat, and Owen tried to will it away. It had been a long time since the memory of his mother had brought him to tears. And as he sat on the upholstered chair in the corner of the room, he felt overwhelmed. And confused.

With his head thrown back, Owen tried to focus on the logical-he knew his father and his siblings would all offer him any encouragement he needed. That had been proven over and over again. And even though it wasn't the same as hearing it from him mother, he was still extremely grateful for his family. But he also knew that this-how he was feeling about Brooke-was something he had to deal with alone. It was too difficult to explain his insecurities to his brothers. After all, none of them ever struggled the way he had with insecurity. And, really, he was glad that they hadn't.

He wouldn't wish this on his worst enemy.

So where did that leave him?

Right where he knew he was-back at square one. Women like Brooke didn't go for men like him. She was sweet and friendly...and nice to him because she wanted the position as his assistant. He needed to remember that. He'd seen it before-people sucking up to you in order to get a job or a recommendation. It was just that this time he had allowed himself to develop feelings for the person doing it.

Was he going to see her again like he'd just told his brother he would?

No.

Was he going to offer her the job?

No.

As much as Owen appreciated Howard's attempt at helping him, he wasn't going to take him up on the offer. Owen was who he was, and no matter how much the faculty and the administration hounded him about learning to be a little less "stiff" with his students, he wasn't going to change. He couldn't.

Or wouldn't.

He knew he was a damn fine astrophysicist, and at the end of the day, that's all that mattered. He could tour every college campus with a telescope and teach and share his wisdom. It wasn't a particularly fun subject-the creation of the cosmos was serious business. And if Owen chose to take it seriously and treat it with the respect it deserved, then why was everyone having an issue with that? There was no need for an assistant or someone to help him be less...awkward.

Damn it, he was beginning to hate that word.

Standing up, he stalked over to his closet, kicked off his shoes, and started to get ready for bed. His mind made up, he quickly decided he would seek out Howard in the morning and explain that he wouldn't be hiring his niece. It was the coward's way out-Owen was aware of that-but it was the best way to handle it.

Was he disappointed?

Yes.

But better to be disappointed now than to get even more attached to or involved with Brooke and then have all of his suspicions confirmed-that she had only been nice to him so she could get the job and do her painting. Which still seemed a little weird to him. She was a grown woman. Why did she need her family's permission to paint in the desert? If she felt that strongly about her painting, there must be other ways for her to go about getting there. He understood the need for safety, but it seemed like she was going through an awful lot of trouble to appease her family.

Even sucking up to a socially awkward scientist like him.

Chapter 4.

To his credit, Howard Shields didn't outwardly react to Owen's news almost a week later. He sat behind his desk and continued to look at Owen with a serene smile on his face.

Which bothered Owen. He wished the man would stand up and reprimand him for being unreasonable and selfish and rude.

All the things he'd been telling himself all morning.

Clearing his throat, he went on, "So you see, it would be pointless to hire an assistant. I have the entire event outlined already, and I've looked at the roster of the students who will be accompanying me, and they've all worked with me before. They're familiar with my teaching style, so there isn't going to be an issue." He paused. "Please thank your niece for me."

He couldn't even bring himself to say her name.

After neither of them had spoken after a minute, Owen stood. "Well, I, um... I should be going," he said, not meeting Howard's gaze. "Have a good weekend." Owen was almost out the door when Howard called his name. He dreaded turning around.

"I have those contracts for you," Howard began. "I've been meaning to bring them, by but it kept slipping my mind." He chuckled. "Just another symptom of getting old. Forgetfulness."

Relief swamped Owen. "I'm actually not sure if I'm going to need them."

Howard arched a graying brow at him. "Is that so?"

Nodding, Owen stepped back toward the desk. "I've been giving this some thought, and...I'm a little worn out from all the traveling. I think I'm at a point where I'd like to find one specific university to work for and maybe do very limited speaking engagements. Although, to be honest, I could use a break from those as well."

"I know you haven't been particularly happy about the way things have gone in the past year..."

"If I could, I would even back out of the Red Rock project." Owen paused and shrugged. "I knew it was done as a lottery with the professors, I just didn't realize it was a mandatory one."

"They do like to be fair," Howard reminded him.

"That's all fine and well when all of the participants who are being considered actually want to be participating!" he cried and then immediately stepped back in embarrassment for raising his voice to his mentor. "What I mean is-"

"I know what you mean, Owen. And I understand." He studied Owen for a moment. "I think you've been looking at this project as some sort of punishment. It's not meant to be that way. Viewing the meteor shower in Red Rock is an amazing experience! I think if you stopped focusing on the parts of it you are dreading, you'll find there are many great things about it you will enjoy."

Sighing, Owen pulled out a chair and sat back down. "Howard, you know I love what I do. But there are people who are just better at that aspect of the job than I am. I enjoy working alone in a lab. I love doing research on my own. I work better alone." He emphasized those last words.

"It's not good to be alone all the time, Owen."

"I grew up in a big family," Owen replied with a hint of defensiveness. "I was never alone. Now, as an adult, I don't mind it. And either way, it should be my decision to make and mine alone. I don't believe a committee should have the right to tell me I need to hone my social skills and force me to participate in heading up events when there are more qualified interested parties!"

"Some would disagree."

Owen took a steadying breath. "How much more enjoyable and educational would it be for a group of students to participate in an exciting event that was being led by someone who is passionate about being there? I believe what is happening now-forcing me to take this on-will be a disservice to those students. So is it worth it? For the university-for the faculty-to try to prove a point no one asked them to prove?"

Owen's heart was racing, and he knew he was sweating, but he didn't care. It felt wonderful to get his feelings off his chest. Even if they didn't change a damn thing, Owen felt better just saying the words out loud. Maybe talking to Quinn was better for him than he could have imagined.

Swallowing hard, Owen looked at Howard and expected to see disappointment-or at the very least a hint of anger for his tirade-but what he saw was compassion. Sympathy. And understanding. Howard stood and walked around to the front of the desk until he was standing beside Owen.

"I had no idea you felt like this," he said softly.

"I've been telling people I didn't want to go on the trip ever since I was appointed," Owen reminded him.

"Yes, but...I think we all felt it was because you were just uncomfortable with the expectations. No one suspected-at least I didn't-that you felt this strongly about going."

Owen met his gaze almost defiantly. "Well, I do."

Howard nodded. "I can see that."

"So what happens now?"

Crossing his arms, Howard sighed. "Unfortunately, it's not for me to decide. I can put in a recommendation to see about someone replacing you, but-"

"But what?"

"It's not my place," Howard said.

"What's not your place?"

"Owen, I know it took a lot for you to come here today and tell me all of this. And I respect you for doing so. But I also know I'm a pretty safe bet."

Safe bet? What did that even mean? "I'm confused."

"You know you can come to me at any time and I'm going to listen to you and try to help in any way I can. We're not just colleagues, we're friends, right?"

Owen nodded.

"You know I'm not going to judge you, and I'm certainly not going to get angry with you for speaking your mind, right?"

Another nod.

"Then, as your friend, I feel you should know that if you want out of this project-if you honestly believe you cannot do it to the best of your ability-then you need to plead your own case."

Owen jumped to his feet. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. If you can stand here and express how you feel about the project and the entire process, then you should be able to go to the faculty and talk to them as well. It will mean more coming directly from you. Although..."

Great. Now what? "Although what?" Owen asked.

Waving him off, Howard walked back around his desk and sat down. "It's nothing. Just promise me you'll think about it."

He was dumbfounded. When did the world suddenly decide to go topsy-turvy? Quinn was giving good advice, and Howard was giving bad? How was that even possible? This had to be a bad dream because, for the life of him, Owen couldn't make a damn bit of sense out of any of it.

Okay, maybe he could. It wasn't as if Howard was giving bad advice, per se. He just wasn't giving the advice Owen wanted to hear.

Unable to make himself leave, he stared at his friend, his mentor, and frowned. "So you're saying you're not going to help me with this."

"If you're looking for someone to be a sounding board for you, I'm here. If you're looking for someone to do your dirty work for you..." He paused. "Well, that isn't me."

Unfortunately, he knew Howard had a point. It wasn't fair for Owen to ask Howard to fight his battles. No matter how badly he wanted to. With nothing left to say, Owen gave a curt nod and turned to leave. "I understand." He was at the door once again when Howard said his name. "Yes?" Owen replied softly, almost afraid to turn around.

"I'm sorry."

And so was Owen. He nodded again with a murmured word of thanks.

"About everything," Howard added. When Owen didn't move except to place a hand on the doorframe, Howard added, "I never should have pushed you on this. I hope you can forgive me."

"I do," Owen said as he walked out the door.

Brooke happily made her way down the hall toward the faculty offices for her lunch date with her uncle. Between her classes and painting, she had been doing a lot of research on the meteor shower and thinking of ways she could assist Owen on the trip-should he ever ask her-that she had missed spending time with Howard. So, that morning, she had suggested getting together for lunch as he was leaving for work. Part of her wondered if Owen was lecturing today, and she considered taking a slight detour past his classroom but opted to go to see her uncle first.

Maybe she'd stop and surprise Owen after lunch and see if he wanted to go to a gallery with her tonight. She had texted him a couple of times over the past week-just saying hi or asking how his day was-and she had sat in on two more of his classes, but they hadn't spent any time alone since the previous week. And she found she missed him.

"Knock, knock," she sang as she tapped on her uncle's office door. He looked up at her with a smile, but she could instantly tell something was wrong. "Hey, is everything okay?"

Howard stood up and came around the desk to hug her. "I'm fine." He paused and then stepped back. "So where should we go for lunch?"

"Uncle Howard," she admonished. "I can tell something's the matter. It might make you feel better to talk about it."

He took her hand and squeezed it. "We'll talk at lunch. For now, why don't you tell me about your day."

She knew a diversion when she heard one but decided not to fight him on it. "Considering it's only a little after noon, there's not much to tell." She paused. "That's not true. I actually did quite a bit."

They were walking down the hall, and Howard chuckled. "Okay, now I'm intrigued. Did you paint something spectacular?"

Blushing, she shook her head and laughed with him. "Hardly. I spent the morning doing some research on the Eta Aquarid meteor shower."

"Really? And what brought that on?"

Brooke nudged him with her shoulder playfully. "Well, if I do end up going to Red Rock with Owen, it would be beneficial to know more about it. I've been reading up on it quite a bit. My mind wanders a lot, so I'm a slow study. And I know it's important, not only so I can talk to the students but so I can also start thinking about my paintings and what I might expect. It never hurts to get a little knowledge beforehand and hope it leads to inspiration."

Howard smiled as they continued to walk out of the building and toward the parking lot.

"I thought we'd just walk to lunch," Brooke suggested. "There are a lot of places close by. That is, if you don't mind walking."

"Not at all," he said, still seeming a little distracted. "The fresh air will do me good."

Okay, she thought, something was definitely up. Maybe she could cheer him up with a little astronomy talk. Or at least her weak attempt at it.

"So...you want to hear what my research taught me today?" she asked playfully.

"Absolutely," he replied, his smile never wavering.

"Okay, but just remember, I'm not as eloquent with it as you and Owen are. I memorized just the basic facts."

He nodded.

They made their way across campus, and Brooke decided she'd give him a quick overview and then they'd choose where they wanted to eat. "Well, the Eta Aquarids is an above-average shower, and it can produce up to sixty meteors per hour at its peak. The best place to view it is in the Southern Hemisphere. Well, that's actually where you'll see more activity. Not necessarily better viewings, just more."

Howard nodded and said, "That's right."

He didn't seem quite as impressed as she'd hoped, but she went on. "However, you can see up to thirty meteors an hour in the Northern Hemisphere. This particular shower is from the dust particles left behind by Halley's Comet. This is an annual event seen from mid-April to mid-May. The best way to view the shower is from a dark location after midnight."