Something did flash in his eyes that time. Anger? Frustration? Liz wasn't really sure.

"You'd give up being a reporter after working on the paper all this time?"

Oh. That.

"No. I wasn't planning to."

"I just . . . well, I wouldn't want to put in all of this time preparing you to be editor after I graduate if you're going to drop out of the paper after I leave."

After he leaves. She hadn't really thought about him leaving in a while. It didn't sit well with her. She didn't want him to leave.

"I have no intention of going to grad school if I can get a job as a reporter," she consoled him. "I just thought it was a nice compliment on my work."

"It is," he agreed.

She reached out and took his hand, stroking it gently with her thumb. "Don't talk about you leaving."

"What?" he asked, staring down at her pressed into his bed. She saw his eyes take in the position of her body in a sweeping motion, and then he adjusted the way he was sitting.

"I like you here," she told him. She had never really said anything like that to him before, but as soon as it was out of her mouth she knew it was true. She certainly wasn't ready for Hayden to get a job and move away.

"Well, I'm here right now," he said, leaning into the bed and letting their lips meet again.

She groaned deep in her throat as need took her where she hadn't been before. Hayden's weight shifted, and his body pressed down on top of her. Liz's hips swayed side to side enticingly. Her hands found his belt and tugged on it to bring him closer to her.

Her breathing grew ragged as their bodies moved in time together. Between her circle eights and his thrusts up toward her, Liz felt like her clothes were going to melt off with the heat they built between them. His body kept up the rhythm in a way that made her eyes roll back at the thought of what he could do to her without the clothes on.

And in the dim lighting he seemed to be exploring her everywhere at once. His lips urged her to continue and his tongue made her body tighten in all the right places. His hand jerked in her hair and she felt her legs spread open to accommodate him further. She could feel his thickness pushing against her. His other hand had found the seam of her sweater and was pushing it out of the way. He unclasped her bra and immediately grabbed her breast, kneading it and then pinching her already hard nipples.

f.u.c.k. She was fully clothed and so f.u.c.king turned on.

He released her for just a moment before stripping the sweater over her head. The tank top came next, and she didn't even let him bother with the bra; she just tossed it onto the ground. His head dropped down and he sucked on her nipples.

Liz felt her body coming undone at the seams. How had she ever thought she didn't want this? She had been building everything up in her mind for weeks and weeks: How could she give her body completely to someone she hadn't given everything else to? How could she move on?

But as her heart thudded in her heaving chest and her body arched toward Hayden's lips, her nipples demanding his attention, she couldn't imagine not wanting this with him. She was denying herself for what?

She couldn't comprehend the reasoning as waves crashed over her body.

She didn't want to think about anything but Hayden's lips moving farther south. The sound of a zipper made her clench involuntarily. She wanted him to touch her so badly. Her body was practically demanding it, aching for him. He dragged her jeans down her lean legs and pushed her thong aside as his thumb rubbed against her already sensitive c.l.i.t.

Her body bucked under him, but he took the moan that left her lips as encouragement and licked against her slick folds.

"Oh f.u.c.k," Liz cried, her body already pulsing.

He slid a finger into her experimentally, and then another when she allowed it. She tightened all around him, imagining how good it would be in that moment to have his c.o.c.k fill her. G.o.d, she was going to come already.

He started to move in and out of her while he licked and bit and sucked her c.l.i.t until she was visibly shaking underneath him. She couldn't hold on. She was seeing spots in her vision. Her toes were curling and she was going from the tingly feeling to utter numbness as her whole body tried to take in the enormity of the o.r.g.a.s.m pressing in on her on all sides.

Hayden forced her legs open wider with one hand as he continued to work. Gasps left her mouth in between the moans. Oh G.o.d, she couldn't hold on any longer. Whatever he was doing right there. Just like that. With his tongue.

Liz's head snapped back and her body pulsed wonderfully as a climax shot through her. Her body moved against his fingers, trying to keep them inside of her even as he slid out. And she just lay there breathing, exhausted and satisfied.

With a deep breath, Hayden rolled off of her before lying back down next to her. He kissed her forehead and pulled her into his bare chest. When had he lost his shirt? She didn't even care right then; she just wanted to curl up against him and pa.s.s out.

"Lizzie," he groaned, his breathing still uneven. "I don't want to push you . . ."

He was so used to her saying no that even though she had looked and acted completely willing to move forward, he was hesitant. He didn't want to push her away by pushing too hard. But he wanted her. It was all over his face.

And yet as dirty as she felt thinking about Brady in that moment, it all came back to her: the reason she hadn't moved forward. Brady. She was still hung up on Brady. She couldn't get him out of her head. She ducked into Hayden's chest and tried not to think about Brady, but the image of him only came to her stronger.

She wasn't ready.

Chapter 6.

TRUST FOSTERS TRUST.

Hey, gorgeous, are you out of cla.s.s yet?

The text from Hayden flashed on her phone just as Liz was packing up. She shouldered her backpack and turned to leave. She was glad that she only had early cla.s.ses on Friday.

Just got out.

Lunch? I'm starving, and I miss you.

Liz's smile quirked on her face. Ever since that night when she had lost herself in him, she had found something in her changing. Even though they had been dating for nearly four months now, she felt what she could only a.s.sociate with honeymoon b.u.t.terflies: when in that initial stage of a relationship, all you wanted to do was spend all your time with the other person, and the mere thought of them made you break into a smile . . . yeah, that was where she was at.

If Hayden noticed the subtle changes in her behavior, he didn't say anything, but he sure responded well to it. They still hadn't had s.e.x, but she didn't have the same reluctance anymore. Now she had waited long enough that she just wanted the moment to be right. She didn't want to walk into his bedroom and be like, f.u.c.k me. Though she couldn't see Hayden complaining about that either.

Yes. I need food. Where do you want to go?

Home . . .

Liz cracked a smile. Geez. She was giggly. She needed to work on that, but she knew she couldn't control it.

As she was typing out a response, another message came in, this one from Justin.

Hey, I just got into town. Sorry I'm late. Are we still meeting up today?

She had totally forgotten that Justin was coming in today. She had even forgotten to tell Hayden. She should probably call him to let him know.

Yeah. Top O?

Definitely.

Liz found Hayden's number in her phone and clicked Send. He answered immediately, "Hey. I'm just leaving the paper now. Where should I meet you?"

"Hey. About that . . ." she said awkwardly. She didn't know why she would even let this make her uncomfortable. It was just Justin. There had never been anything romantic between them. And it certainly wasn't like that now. Yet telling Hayden was making her a bit nervous.

She remembered telling Brady about Justin. He had gotten insanely jealous. Their relationship hadn't even developed past s.e.x at that point, but his jealousy had still struck her even then. It had resurfaced later after she had told him that she had gone out with Hayden in D.C. Liz closed her eyes to push out the memories, but the argument they'd had about Hayden washed over her all at once.

It doesn't really matter! Didn't you hear me? He's not you! This isn't a compet.i.tion, Brady. There's no room for jealousy.

No. She didn't want him in her head. He hadn't been there as much lately. She had buried him deep down inside of her where no one else could reach. It was the safest place for him. She hated the moments when life reminded her of him and fissures broke through her tough resolve.

Because the only thing I felt when he kissed me was that I was glad it was out in public. It wasn't Hayden I wanted. It was you. And if it's not you, then it doesn't matter.

If it's not you, then it doesn't matter. G.o.d . . . she forced her mind away from it. She thought about Hayden and filled the crack with memories of his smiling face, his gentle kisses, his attention and devotion and perfection.

It all happened in a matter of seconds, but it felt like an eternity before she finally responded.

"I, uh . . . totally forgot that Justin was coming into town today and that I was meeting him for lunch," Liz told Hayden. She waited for his judgment, his jealousy.

"Oh nice! I hope he's doing all right since the DUI incident last summer. G.o.d, that feels like forever ago, doesn't it?" Hayden asked.

Forever ago. Everything from the summer felt equally as if it had happened yesterday and a lifetime ago. But she could remember the whole summer in vivid detail that she was sure would never go away.

"Yeah," she agreed, because she didn't know what else to say. "He's doing a lot better. Working for a computer software company or something. I'm not really sure."

"Well, tell him I said hi. I don't know if he ever really liked me, but I appreciated the work he did for the paper when he was here."

Oh, Hayden. How could she ever think that he would be jealous? He was perpetually good-natured and saw the best in everyone. She appreciated that quality in him more than ever in that moment.

"I'll let him know," she said softly. She didn't want to be sentimental right now, but it had a tendency to creep up on her. "I have to help Ma.s.sey with some stuff at the paper before I can head home. Can I see you later?"

"Of course. Come over when you leave the paper. We can hang out then," he told her.

"That sounds perfect. Is the day over yet?"

Hayden laughed softly. "I wish."

"See you soon."

Liz hung up as she rounded the corner to the Top of the Hill, where she was meeting Justin for lunch. It was one of her favorite restaurants in town, with a large balcony overlooking the main city block downtown.

She took the stairs up to the top floor of the building. It was still too cold to sit out on the balcony, so Liz allowed the waitress to direct her to a table. She sipped her water as she waited.

It had been so long since she had seen Justin. She didn't really know what to expect. They had been friends since freshman year, but sometimes it was hard to be friends with Justin. Half arrogant brainiac, half douche frat boy made for a hard combination. But he was fiercely loyal and had never blamed her for the incident last summer, even though she carried part of the responsibility. She had been wasted at one of Justin's frat parties and he had offered to drive her home. Unfortunately he had been drunk himself, and after driving through a red light had been pulled over and given a DUI. It had lost him his scholarship and he'd had to leave school.

When Justin walked into the bar and saw her, she broke into a smile. G.o.d, she had missed him being around, and she hadn't really realized it until then. He had been a fixture in her life at UNC, working for the newspaper and taking cla.s.ses with her since freshman year. She was glad to be reunited.

"Justin!" she said, barreling into him when he got closer.

He laughed and hugged her to him. "Good to see you, Liz."

"It's really good to see you too," she said, pulling away from him and regaining her seat.

Justin looked professional in a way he never had in college in what looked like a brand-new suit and tie. His hair was cut shorter and brushed off of his face. She couldn't see Justin wanting to be in a suit all the time. He was more of a khakis, polos, and boat shoes kind of guy.

The waitress appeared immediately, they ordered food and drinks, and then she disappeared just as quickly.

"You look great," Justin said, a smug look on his face.

Liz managed not to roll her eyes. What did he want? Justin didn't dole out compliments lightly. "Thanks. How is the new job?"

"A drag, but it pays well."

"Yeah?" She knew there was a hitch already. She just waited for him to let the other shoe drop. "What is the company exactly?"

"It's just a software company run by three guys. They wanted to make a program for students and teachers to install on their computers to live-stream from multiple locations on or off campus while still remaining interactive."

"Well, that sounds cool," she admitted.

"Yeah. I was selected online to do some testing for the program to make a few easy bucks. I took what they had redesigned and added a few key features of my own . . ."

"Wow. That's fantastic. I bet professors like it."

"They love it. Or at least, the three universities that have already purchased the software to try in their cla.s.srooms love it," Justin told her. "And I'm supposed to pitch it to UNC this afternoon. Kind of ironic, right? UNC dropout sells innovative software to university system." He chuckled to himself. "Anyway, that's not my endgame."

Their orders arrived, and Liz waited patiently for the waitress to leave again, digging her fork into her food. "So, what is your endgame?" she asked.

"I want to own my own company."

"What do you want to do when you work for yourself?"

"I'm working on creating some way to put in place a filtering mechanism on YouTube videos, so I could get past all of the stuff that people watch that isn't actually good and get straight to the good stuff. I designed the reviewing process myself, primarily to see how easy it was to find my own videos through it. I want to take it a step further and give it a social media component, form a central rating system, and then connect that to people's YouTube accounts."

"And you can do all of this? I seriously thought you were just a video expert," she asked, surprised by his genius.

Justin shook his head. "I was majoring in photojournalism because I was already a programmer. My dad's a programmer and I grew up on a computer."

"Well, I think you should go for it." She smiled back at him encouragingly.

"Will you help me?"

"Wh-what?" she stammered. What could he possibly want her help with? Sounded as if he had it all pretty much covered.

"I want to include a blogging component to the site and I need a writer. You and I both know I'm not that good with writing. I can't express my ideas like you can. I know how much influence your pieces have in the paper, and I know you get A's in all of your writing cla.s.ses. I need someone that I trust to help, to keep people interested, to feed the buzz."

He wanted her to help him with the start-up company he hadn't even started? She didn't know when she would ever find time for that amid her busy schedule.