Elisha laughed easily. 'Isn't either. We're glad to have you. It'll take a little while for me to have a look through our records, that's all. We're not completely computerized ... not yet. You can go and come backifyou like -it might be about ten, fifteen minutes, though.'

'Stay, man: pressed Carl. 'I been going stir crazy in here today.'

Levi did not especially want to stay, but it was more effort to be rude. Elisha left to go through her archives. Levi sat back down in her seat.

'So -what's up?' asked Carl. But just then a loud beep came from Carl's computer. A look of hungry anticipation broke out over his face.

'Oh, Levi -sorry, man, one minute -e-mail.'

Levi sat back in his chair, bored, as Carl typed frantically with two fingers. He felt the despondency universities had long inspired in him. He had grown up in them; he had known their book stacks and storage cupboards and quads and spires and science blocks and tennis courts and plaques and statues. He felt sorry for the people who found themselves trapped in such arid surroundings. Even as a small child he was absolutely clear that he would never, ever enrol at one himself. In universities, people forgot how to live. Even in the middle of a music library, they had forgotten what music was.

Carl hit 'Return' with a pianist's flourish. He sighed happily. He said, 'Oh, man.' He seemed to have overestimated Levi's curiosity about the lives of other people.

'Know who that was?' he prompted finally.

Levi shrugged.

'Remember that girl? I first saw her when I was with you. The one with the booty that was just ...' Carl kissed the air. Levi did his best to look unimpressed. One thing he couldn't stand was brothers boasting about their ladies. 'That was her, man. I asked someone her name and found her in the college book. Easy as that. Victoria. Vee. She driving me crazy, man -she e-mails like...' Carl lowered his voice to a whisper. 'She so dirty. Photos and all'a that. She got a body like... I don't even have any words for what she got. She be like sending me ... well -you want to see something? Takes a minute to download.' Carl clicked his mouse a few times and then began to turn his screen round. Levi had seen a quarter ofa breast when they both heard Elisha coming down the hall. Carl whipped his computer back to face him, switched off the screen and picked up the newspaper.

'Hey, Levi: said Elisha. 'We got lucky. I found what you're looking for. You want to come with me?'

Levi stood up and, without saying goodbye to Carl, followed Elisha out of the room.

'Baby, you can't lie to me. ] can see it in your face.'

Kiki took Levi by the chin, tilted his head back and examined the swollen pockets of skin under the eyes, the blood that had leaked into his corneas, the dryness of his lips.

T m just tired.'

Tired my ass.'

'Let go of my chin.'

'] know you've been crying: insisted Kiki, but she didn't know the half ofit: couldn't know, would never know, the lovely sadness ofthat Haitian music, or what it was like to sit in a small dark booth and be alone with it -the plangent, irregular rhythm, like a human heartbeat, the way the many harmonized voices had sounded, to Levi, like a whole nation weeping in tune.

'I know things at home haven't been good: said Kiki, looking into his red eyes. 'But they're going to get better, ] promise you that. Your daddy and] are determined to make it better. 0 K?'

There was no point in explaining. Levi nodded and zipped up his coat. 'The Bus Stop: said Kiki, and resisted the urge to deliver a curfew that would only be ignored. 'You go and have fun.' 'You want a ride?' asked Jerome, who was passing through the kitchen with Zora. 'J'm not drinking.'

Just before they got in the car, Zora took offher coat and turned her back to Levi. 'Seriously, do you think] should wear this -] mean, does it look 0 K?'

Her dress was a bad colour and it had no back and it was the wrong material for her lumpy body and it was too short. Normally, Levi would have bluntly told his sister all of this, and Zoor would have been upset and angry, but at least she would have gone back in and changed, and, as a consequence, arrived at the parry looking a hell of a lot better than she did now. But tonight Levi had other things on his mind, 'Beautiful: he said.

Fifteen minutes later they dropped Levi off in Kennedy Square and continued on to the parry. There was nowhere to park. They had to leave the car several blocks from the party itself. Zora had specifically worn the shoes she was wearing because she had not anticipated any walking. To make progress she had to grip her brother around his waist, take little pigeon-steps and lean far back on her heels. For a long time jerome restrained himself from commentary, but at the fourth pit stop he could keep silent no longer. 'I don't get you. Aren't you meant to be a feminist? Why would you cripple yourself like this?'

'I like these shoes, OK? They actually make me feel powerful.'

Finally they reached the house, Zora had never been so happy to see a set ofporch steps, Steps were easy, and 'with joy she placed the ball of her foot on each wide wooden slat. A girl they did not know answered the door. At once they saw that it was a better party than either had been expecting. Some of the younger grads and even a few faculty members were there. People were already bOisterously drunk. Pretty much everybody Zora considered vital for her social success this corning year was present. She had the guilty thought that she would do better at this party withoutjerome hanging at her heels in his slacks with the T-shirt tucked in too tightly.

'Victoria's here,' he said as they left their coats in the pile. Zora looked down the hall and spotted her, simultaneously overdressed and half naked, 'Oh, whatever,' said Zora, but then a thought came to her. 'But jay ... If, 1mean, ifyou want to go .. , ]' d understand, 1 could get a taxi back.'

'No, it's fine. Of course it's fine.' j erome went over to a punch bowl and scooped them a drink each. 'To lost love,' he said sadly, taking a sip. 'One glass. Did you seejamie Anderson? He's dancing.'

'I like jamie Anderson.'

It was strange being at a party with your Sibling, standing in a comer, holding your plastic tumblers with both hands. There's no small talk between siblings. They bopped their heads ineptly and stood slightly turned out from each other, trying to look not alone and yet not with each other.

'There's Dad's Veronica,' said jerome, as she passed by in an unflattering 1920S flapper dress complete with headband. 'And that's your rapper friend, isn't it? 1saw him in the paper.'

'Carl!' called Zora, too loudly. He was fiddling with the stereo. and now turned and came over. Zora remembered to put both hands behind her back and pull down her shoulders. Her chest looked better that way. But he did not look in that direction. He patted her chummily on the arm as usual and shookJerome's hand vigorously.

'Good to see you again. man!' he said and shot out that movie star smile. Jerome. now recalling the young man he had met that night in the park. registered the pleasant change: this open. friendly demeanour. this almost Wellingtonian confidence. In answer to Jerome's polite question as to what Carl had been up to recently. Carl prattled on about his library. neither defensively nor particularly boastfully. but with an easy egotism that did not for a moment consider asking Jerome a similar question. He spoke ofthe Hip-hop Archive and the need for more Gospel. the growing African section. the problem of getting money out of Erskine. Zora waited for him to mention their campaign to keep discretion aries in class, No mention came.

'So,' she said. attempting to keep her own voice casual and cheery. 'dld you see my op-ed or ... l' Carl. in the middle ofan anecdote. stopped and looked confused. Jerome. peacemaker and trouble-spotter. stepped in.

'I forgot to tell you I saw that in the Herald -Speaker's Comer it was really great. Really Mr Smith Goes to Washington . . , it was great. Zoor. You're lucky you got this girl fighting in your comer,' said Jerome. knocking his tumbler against Carl's. 'When she gets her teeth into something. she doesn't let go, Believe me. I know.'

Carl grinned. 'Oh. I hear that. She's my Martin Luther King! I'm serious. she be -sorry,' said Carl, looking away from them towards the outdoor balcony. 'Sorry, I just saw someone I gotta speak to .. , Look, I'll talk to you later. Zora -good to see you again. man, I'll catch you both later.'

'He's very charming,' said Jerome generously. as they watched him go, 'Actually he's almost slick.'

'Everything's going so well for him right now,' said Zora uncertainly. 'When he's gotten used to it, he'll get more focus. I think.

4IO.

More time to tune in to other important stuff. He's just a little busy right now. Believe me,' she said, with more conviction, 'he'll be a real addition to Wellington. We need more people like him.'

Jerome hummed in an ambivalent way. Zora rounded on him. 'You know, there's other ways to have a successful college career than the route you went down. Traditional qualifications are not everything. Just because -'

Jerome mimed zipping up his lip and throwing away the key. 'I'm a hundred and ten per cent behind you, Zoor, as ever,' he said, smiling. 'More winer It was the kind of party where every hour two people leave and thirty people arrive. The Besley siblings found and lost each other several times that night, and lost new people they found. You'd tum to eat from a bowl of peanuts and not see the person you'd been talking to again until you met them forty minutes later in the line for the toilets. Around ten, Zora found herself on the balcony smoking a joint in an absurdly cool circle consisting of Jamie Anderson, Veronica, Christian and three grads she didn't know. In normal circumstances she would have been ecstatic at this, but, even as Jamie Anderson was taking her theory about women's punctuation seriously, Zora's busy brain was otherwise occupied, wondering where Carl was, if he'd already left, and whether he'd liked her dress. Out ofnerves she kept drinking, filling her cup from an abandoned bottle ofwhite wine by her feet.

Just after eleven,Jerome stepped out on to the balcony, interrupting the impromptu lecture that Anderson was giving and plonked himself upon his sister's lap. He was badly drunk.

'Sorry!' he said, touching Anderson's knees. 'Carry on, sorry don't mind me. Zoor, guess what I saw? I should say who.'

Anderson, piqued, moved away and took his acolytes with him. Zora bumped Jerome off her lap, stood up and leaned against the balcony, looking out on to the quiet, leafy street.

'Great -and how are we going to get home? I'm way over the limit. There's no taxis. You're meant to be the designated driver. Jesus, Jerome!'

4II.

'Blasphemer: said Jerome, not entirely unserious. 'Look, I'll start treating you like a Christian when you start acting like one. You know you can't handle more than a glass of wine.> 'But so: whispered Jerome and put his arm around his sister, 'I come with news. My darling heart ex-whatever is in the coat room getting it on with your rapper friend.'

'What?' Zora shook his arm off. 'What are you talking about?'

'Miss Kipps. Vee. And the rapper. That's what I love about Wellington -everybody knows everybody.' He sighed. 'Oh, well. No, but it's OK ... I really couldn't care less. I mean I care, obviously I care! But what's the point? It's just pretty tacky -she knew I was here, we said hi an hour ago. It's just tacky. But you'd think she could at least try to...'

Jerome kept on talking but Zora was not listening any more. Something alien to Zora was taking her over, starting in her belly and then rocketing like adrenalin through the rest of her system. Maybe it was adrenalin. It was certainly a rage physical in nature never in her life had she experienced an emotion as corporal as this. She seemed to have no mind or will; she was only resolute muscle. Afterwards she could in no way account for how she got from the bakony to the coat room. It was as if fury transported her there instantaneously. And then she was in the room, and it was as Jerome had described. He on top of she. Her hands embracing his head. They looked perfect together. So perfect! And then, a moment after that, Zora herself was outside on the porch with Carl, with Carl's hood in her hand, for she had -as was explained to her afterwards -physically dragged him down the hallway and out of the party. Now she released him, pushing him away from her, on to the wet wood. He was coughing and working his hand around his throat, which had been constricted. She had never known how strong she was. Everyone had always told her she was a 'big girl' was this why she was big? So she might drag grown men by their hoods and throw them to the floor?

Zora's brief physical elation was soon replaced by panic. Out here it was cold and wet. The knees of Carl's jeans were soaked.

What had she done? What had she done? Now Carl knelt before her, breathing heavily, looking up, enraged. Her heart justly broke. She saw she had nothing further to lose.

'Oh, man, oh, man... I can't believe ...' he was whispering. Then he stood up and became loud: 'What the PUCK do you think -'

'Did you even read that piece?' cried Zora, shaking madly. 'I spent so long on that, I missed my dissertation deadline, I've been working constantly for you and -'

But of course without the secret piece of the narrative in Zora's head -the one that connected 'writing pieces for Carl' with 'Carl kissing Victoria Kipps' -no sense could be made of what she was saying.

'What the hell are you talking about, man? What did you just do?'

Zora had shamed him in front of his girl, in front of a whole party. This was no longer the charming Carl Thomas of W ellington's Black Music Library. This was the Carl who had sat out on the front porches of Roxbury apartments on steamy summer days. This was the Carl who could play the Dozens good as anybody. Zora had never been spoken to like this in her life.

'I -1 -I'

'Are you my girlfriend now?'

Zora began to weep wretchedly.

'And what the Jilek has your article got to do with ... Am 1 meant to be gratefol?, 'All 1 was trying to do was help you. That was all I wanted to do. 1 just wanted to help.'

'Well: said Carl, putting his hands on his hips, reminding Zora, absurdly, of Kiki, 'apparently you wanted to do a little more than help me. Apparently you expected some payback. Apparently 1 had to sleep with yo' skank ass as well.'

'Puck you!'

That's what it was all about: said Carl and whistled satirically, but the hurt was clear to read in his face, and this hurt grew deeper as he stumbled over further realizations, one after the other. 'Man, oh, man. Is that why you helped me? I guess 1 can't write at all -is that it? You were just making me look an idiot in that class. Sonnets! You been making a fool of me since the beginning. Is that it? You pick me up off the streets and when I don't do what you want, you rum on me? Damn! I thought we was friends, man!'

'So did I!' cried Zora.

'Stop crying -you ain't gonna get out of this by crying,' he warned heatedly, and yet Zora could hear concern in his voice. She dared to hope that this still might end well. She reached out a hand to him, but he took a step back.

'Speak to me,' he demanded. 'What is this? You got some problem with my girl?' Upon hearing this formulation, a snotty clump oftears flew spectacularly from Zora's nose.

'Your girl!'

'Have you got some problem with her?'

Zora wiped her face on the neck of her dress. 'No,' she snapped indignantly. 'I haven't got a problem with her. She's not worth having a problem with: Carl opened his eyes wide, shocked by this answer. He pressed a hand to his forehead, trying to figure it out. 'Now, what the fuck does that mean, man?'

'Nothing. God! You totally deserve each other. You're both trash: Carl's eyes grew cold. He brought his face right up to hers, in an awful inversion of what Zora had spent six months hoping for. 'You know what?' he said, and Zora prepared to hear his judgement on what he saw. 'You're a fucking bitch: Zora turned her back to him and began her difficult journey down the porch steps, minus her coat and purse, minus her pride and with a good deal of trouble. These shoes took stairs in only one direction. At last she made it to the street. She wanted to go home now desperately; the humiliation was beginning to outweigh the rage. She was experiencing the first inklings of a shame she sensed would live with her for a long, long time. She needed to get home and hide under something heavy. Just then Jerome appeared on the porch.

'Zoor? You OK?'

'Jay, go back in -I'm fine -please go back in.'

As she said this Carl ran down the stairs and confronted her again. He was not willing to leave her with this last, ugly image of himself; it still, somehow, mattered to him what she thought ofhim.

'I'm just trying to understand why you would act so crazy: he said earnestly, coming close to her again and searching for an answer in her face; Zora almost fell into his arms. From where Jerome was standing, however, it appeared that Zora was cringing in fear. He rushed down the steps to put himself between his sister and Carl.

'Hey, buddy: he said unconvincingly, 'back off, OK?'

The front door opened once more. It was Victoria Kipps.

'Great!' shouted Zora, throwing her head back and spotting the little audience on the balcony who were watching these events. 'Let's sell tickets!'

Victoria closed the door behind her and skipped down the stairs with the style of a woman well practised at walking in impossible heels. 'What are you on?' she asked Zora as she reached the ground, and seemed more curious than angry.

Zora rolled her eyes. Victoria turned instead to Jerome.

'Jay? What's this about?'

Jerome shook his head at the floor. Victoria approached Zora again.

'Have you got something to say to me?'

Usually Zora feared confrontation with her peers, but Victoria Kipps's composed radiance standing right opposite her own snotfaced breakdown was simply too maddening. 'I've got NOTHING to say to you! Nothing!' she yelled, and began the march down the street. At once she stumbled on her heel and Jerome steadied her, getting her by the elbow.

'She jealous -that's her problem: taunted Carl. 'Just jealous'cos you finer than her. And she can't stand that.'

Zora spun back round. 'Actually, I look for a little more from my partners than just a nice ass. For some reason I thought you did too, bur, my mistake.'

'Pardon me?' said Victoria.

Zora hobbled a little way further along the road, accompanied by her brother, but Carl followed. 'You don't know anything about her. You're just uppity about everybody.' Zora stopped once more. 'Oh, I know about her. I know she's an airhead. I know she's a slut.' Victoria reached out for Zora, but Carl restrained her. Jerome grabbed hold ofZora's pOinting hand.

'Zoor!' he said, raising his voice. 'Stop it! That's enough!'

Zoor wrenched her wrist from her brother's grasp. Carl looked disgusted with them both. He took Victoria's hand and began to walk her towards the house. 'Take your sister home: he said, withoutlooking back atJerome. 'She's drunk as hell.'

'And I also know about guys like you: said Zora, shouting impotently after him. 'You can't keep your dick in your pants for five minutes -that's all that's important to you. That's all you can think about. And you haven't even got the good tMte to stick it in something a little more classy than Victoria Kipps. You're just one ofthose kind of Msholes.'

'Fuck you!' screamed Victoria and began to cry. 'Like your old man?' yelled Carl. 'An asshole like that? Let me tell you something -' But Victoria began to speak frantically over him. 'No! Please, Carl-pleMe, just leave it. There's no point -please -no!'

She was hysterical, placing her hands all over his face, apparently trying to stop him speaking. Zora frowned at her, not understanding.

'Why the hell not?' Carl asked, peeling a hand from his mouth and holding Victoria at the shoulders as she continued to weep loudly. 'She's so damn superior all the time, she should have a little home truth told to her -she thinks her daddy's such a -'

'NO!' screamed Victoria.

Zora put her hands on her hips, utterly bemused, almost entertained, by this new scene passing in front of her. Someone was making a fool of herself, and, for the first time tonight, it wasn't Zora. A window someplace down the street was thrown up.

'Keep tlte goddamn noise down! It's the middle ofthe goddamn night!'

The clapboard houses, prim and shuttered, silently seemed to support the departure of the street's noisy visitors.

'Vee, baby, go back in the house. I'll be in in a minute: said Carl and tenderly wiped some tears from Victoria's face with his hand. Zora abandoned her curiosity. She felt the futy double inside her. She didn't stop to consider the meaning of what had just passed, and so did not followJerome as his mind wandered down a formerly concealed path to a dark destination: the truth. Jerome put his hand against the soggy trunk of a tree, and this alone kept him upright. Victoria rang the bell to get back in the house. For a moment Jerome met her eye with all that he felt: disappointment because he had loved her; grief because she had betrayed him.

'Can you keep it down out here?' requested a kid at the door and let a distraught, broken Victoria back into the house. 'I think that's enough now: said Jerome firmly to Carl. 'I'm going to take Zoor home. You've upset her enough as it is.'