"Okay." There was a faint smile. "Let her worw." "She was baking cookies to soften the word that you had called." "Oh."

He laughed. Not every batch Shari had baked had been a success. "Relax. These were good. She'll send you some."

"Good." Her voice grew serious. "You sent a good doctor."

"A favor from an old friend," Marcus reassured before she could ask. The doctor was one of the best cancer doctors in the countw, and his time was at a premium. Marcus had tried to offer compensation and had been turned down. "That bank robbery eight years ago where the kids were killed, I mentioned I got to know the local investigator quite well. Your doctor is his son."

"I liked him when I met him at Mayo; I like him even more now."

"I know he's suggested several options, recommended one. What do you want to do, Jen?"

"The surgery might cripple me."

"I know," Marcus said softly.

"And they'll need to do it in the next couple days. You won't be here." "I know that too."

The quietness was that of twenty-year friends.

"Have the surgery." he said quietly.

"Will you carry me down the aisle if the worst happens?"

He moved the phone away so he could bite back tears and steady his voice. "Sure."

"I would ask Jack, but he would drop me; fireman that he is notwithstanding," she said with forced lightness.

"I'll walk you down the aisle or carry you. That's a promise." "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"No hair, so my wedding pictures will be interesting."

"Rachel will get creative. Trust me, you'll be beautiful."

"Of course. Besides, I've always dreamed about being size six for my wedding."

He had to laugh. The illness had not robbed Jennifer of her essential good humor. "Pick the dress out, and it will be my wedding present to you." "That's charming of you." "I'm a charming kind of guy."

Shari knocked softly on the doorjamb. Marcus was relieved to see her.

He held out his hand and curled his around hers when she joined him. "I'll tell the doctor yes."

Marcus's grip tightened on Shari's hand. "Do that, Jen. I'll talk to him in the morning for the schedule details."

"Would you talk to lachel for me later?" Jennifer asked. "She's been too quiet."

"Sure, Jen."

"Tell Shari hi for me." "I'll do that." "Here's Eate back." "Marcus."

He had to clear his throat. "I'm here."

"Call me after ten, okay?" Kate asked quietly.

"I'll call."

"Goodbye for now."

Marcus closed the phone, stared at it a moment, and took a deep breath. There was some relief just in knowing he didn't have to keep the carefully maintained calm in place for Shari. He had meant what he said earlier, about this being the first round of a long fight, but it was still an intense strain. He rubbed his eyes. "They're going to put radiation pellets in her spine."

Shari tightened her hand around his. "You'll be okay. All of you. How can you not He shook his head. "The other O'Malleys are there; I'm needed here."

She wanted to argue, then stopped and simply nodded. "Send her some orchids. Those you got for me last week were gorgeous."

He rubbed his hand across hers, then picked up the phone. "First things first. They want two Chicago-style pizzas and a cheesecake sent out for dinner."

"Do they?"

"Imm." He was amused at Kate's request. "I think I've become their delivery man."

"I think theyjust want you to feel involved."

"Probably some of that too." He wrote down the number directory assistance gave him for the pizza place near Kate's home, then placed the call.

It never failed to amaze him what mentioning Kate's name could do in her neighborhood. Carla herself came on the phone to get the details and gladly volunteered to take care of the shipping arrangements. A brief second call took care of the cheesecake request.

"Unless you need to rejoin Quinn, why don't you come keep me company," Shari offered, tugging his hand.

"Doing what?"

"I thought I'd ice some of those cookies. You can watch, or do some too if you like. It will give you something mindless to do while you tell me what was going on this morning."

He didn't particularly want to be alone at the moment. He let her pull him to his feet. "Lead the way As long as you promise not to make blue icing this time."

"But it's a guy color."

"I draw the line at blue food."

Marcus called Kate late that night after his final rounds, spent an hour talking with her about Jennifer's upcoming surgeu, the details of the security arrangements he was making with Dave for the grand jury testimony, family schedules for the next two weeks. When he hung up, he walked to the window of his room to look out into the darkness, weary in his heart.

Two days from now his sister would be in surgery He knew the pellets had a reasonable chance of killing the cancer, but the risks involved- he couldn't do anything to minimize them, that was what made the situation so hard to accept.

'Jesus wants you to choose to trust Him. He won't take that trust you place in Him lightly."

Shari's words echoed again. He wanted to be able to cross the hesitation and trust enough to pray, but he felt mute the closer he came to that line. He had believed and prayed for his mom and she had died. It wasn't logical, but thinking about praying for Jennifer brought a resonating fear that, in doing so, he would lose her too. The emotion wasn't rational. But it was powerful.

He had always thought in the mix of experiences each O'Malley shared from the orphanage that it was Kate who bore the worst scars from the past, that Rachel carried the most pain. He had never dealt with the reality of how strong his own memories still were.

"I miss you, Mom," he whispered as he traced a hand down the windowsill.

Jennifer would come through surgery strong, and this treatment would be effective. Shari was praying for her. That had to make a difference.

Why couldn't he just trust?

Because he'd made a deal with God so that his morn would live, and she had died. And inside his heart he was still an angry little boy.

Marcus sighed and forced himself to turn out the lights and turn in, trying to sleep. It did not come for a long time.

Nineteen.

S.

he's out of surgery?"

"In recover" Kate confirmed. "They gave her something to make her woozy and used a local so her system wouldn't have to fight off the heavy sedation. Marcus, she's reacting to it like she's drunk. She's trying to sing nursery rhymes at the moment. They said it would wear off, which is a shame. I would kill to have a tape recorder right now. She's never going to believe me."

"What did they say about the actual surgery? Was it successful?"

"Better than they hoped for. Even Tom was smiling when he saw the film results showing the placements."

Marcus could feel the building relief. "And the risks? Is she moving her toes?"

"The biggest problem at the moment is she wants to get up and go for a walk. The local has removed any concept of pain, and her foggy mind clearly does not remember she's just had surgery They've got her strapped down to keep her back still."

"Thanks for calling me immediately"

"No problem. Let me call Lisa and Dave. I'll brief you again once she's been moved from the recovery room."

Marcus hung up the phone. Shari was waiting, impatiently She had been pacing around the house ever since word had come that Jennifer was going into surgery "She came throughjust fine," Marcus said, taking away the worry for them both. "She's got good movement in her feet, the pellet locations look good, and she's in recovery."

"I'm glad," Shari said simply, her smile sharing the emotions that were hard to fit into words.

Marcus crossed the room, leaned down, and gently kissed her. "Thank you for praying," he said quietly, from the bottom of his heart. Jennifer was in better shape than he could have hoped for. Shari's prayers had really mattered.

"Marcus," she studied his face, reached up, and cradled it in her hands. "You are very welcome."

Quinn came down the hall and the moment of privacy was lost. Shari tightened her hands around Marcus's as she stepped away, then turned. "Quinn, there's wonderful news regarding Jennifer."

Marcus reread the interviews of those who had seen Connor at the hotel and finally admitted defeat. He had been over these interviews until he could quote them. As much as he wanted to find something the team had missed regarding Connor, it wasn't there. He closed the folder and dropped it on the floor.

"No luck?" Shari asked absently, not looking up from the book she was absorbed in reading.

"NO."

He had to smile as he watched her. She was sitting with her legs draped over the side of the deep leather chair, the side table light turned on. He reached down for his sketch pad and pulled out his fine pencil. She looked beautiful tonight, truly relaxed.

He took his time with the sketch. She was inpiring him to improve his art, so he could try to do her justice.

An hour passed as he worked and she turned pages in her book. "Can l see?"

He glanced up to see she had set aside the book. He didn't want to show her, but only because it would be to admit she had been the subject on more than one occasion.

He closed the sketchbook and handed it to her.

Watching her face to see her reaction, he knew exactly when she turned pages and saw the first portrait. She turned the pages more slowly after that.

She looked up at him. The one time he didn't want her to hide what she thought, she did. She slowly smiled. "I'm flattered, Marcus. You're an unfulfilled artist under that badge and gun."

Come on, Shari... what are you thinking? I've got my heart on my sleeve in those sketches.

"My morn loved to draw." He hadn't told anyone that but family. She flipped to a blank page. "May I?"

Not sure what she planned, he nodded. She picked up her pen. Her sketch was done fast, with a hand that didn't stop, her confidence showing. She was an artist and she hadn't said a thing. That turkey.

"My contribution to your greatness." She handed him the sketchbook with a flourish.

It was a cartoon. A baby panda bear leaning over an artist's palette getting paint on his paws, curious. "You're good."

"So are you. And Marcus...I'm not that pretty."

"You're beautiful."

"And you've been listening to my mother too much. What did she have to say this evening about London?"

A well-done tangent, he let her get away with it. "Afternoon tea. She is very impressed."

"She gave me the recipes for scones."

"Want to try making them someday?"

"Only if you volunteer to clean up after the disaster I leave in my wake. Two hours of cleanup for one batch of cookies. They were good, but not that good. I plan to let another month go by before I consider stepping into a kitchen again. I never did get very domesticated."

"Shari, some of the people I like the most are Quinn, Lisa, and Kate. Enough said?"