Caught on the Fly.

The younger a bride, the sooner a gra.s.s widow.

Lilies are pretty, but the old fashioned potato sticks closer to the ribs.

A magnate and his money are different propositions to the missionary societies.

Willie's Easter.

When Easter Sunday comes along I hunt and hunt so hard, And find a nest of rabbit eggs Out yonder in the yard; They're red and yellow, blue and green, All colored every way, And when the rabbits lay their eggs I know it's Easter day.

My Mamma cooks a lot of eggs For little Bud and me, And says for us to eat ourselves As full as we can be; And then we go to dress ourselves, And find in every shoe, The rabbits left a pile of eggs As Easter rabbits do.

And Mamma tells us of the Christ Who came to earth and died, And was so good in all he did He soon got crucified; But when they took him from the Cross And buried him away, He came to life and rose again And started Easter day.

And Mamma has some lilies, too, And glad flowers of the spring, And tells us how the world wakes up, And tells the birds to sing: And I like Easter mighty well, But what is best, I say, Is when you find the rabbit eggs And know it's Easter day!

Little Sermons.

Faith is a great heart-cleaner.

The G.o.dly man never worries over h.e.l.l-fire.

Good intentions never make the dollars ring in the collection plate.

A man's meanness and woman's frailty make a pair that prayer can't beat when they get together.

The Devil never attends the church of a scolding preacher. He knows that his presence is unnecessary.

If you want a balance in your favor on G.o.d's books, see to it that there is no balance against you on the books of men.

At the birth-hour of every soul, there overhangs a divine plan directing its plans and purposes. That plan is holy and immaculate; it has neither spot nor blemish; and as the soul walks out upon the highways of its life, dim whispers and faint intuitions try to teach the road it ought to travel to the stars. Happy the man who understands the story and walks with unerring feet the divine lanes of life and light until the shadows fall again!

The Blossom Ways.

With one true heart and a hand that stays, This world rolls ever the blossom ways, And there as it roams the sweet paths over, The honey bees and the laughing clover!

And Love comes by with her lips of song, To hush the cries and the calls of wrong, Till life romps on to a merry measure With dimpled hands and a heart of pleasure!

Sooner Sayings.

The swift horse makes the safe filing.

Getting in line is easy, but it's where you want to get that costs the money.

A mother-in-law may not be a popular member of the family, but your wife's folks will do to visit when the crops fail.

A Modern Love Story.

Anent the present divorce agitation, I find in an old paper the following skit which is still in point:

Chapter I.

They met in the Spring And admired everything.

Chapter II.

In the Summer she said, "Yes, dear, we will wed!"

Chapter III.

In the Autumn this pair Had a spat, I declare!

Chapter IV.

In the winter, of course, They procured a divorce!

However it may happen, there are times when the common-place soul rebels at the petty chains of trifles and seeks acquaintance with the infinite.

Then it is a companion of the stars, an a.s.sociate of wind and wave, and all of Nature's immeasurable forces. Happy he whose sanity is so brave and strong as to walk with the blossoms at his feet and the stars above his head.

Sooner Sayings.