Mister Ground Hog.

Ole Mistah Groun'-hog rouse hisse'f Fum dat long nap he take; He say: "Ah 'spec' Ah'd bettah move,-- It's gittin' late, my sake!"

So he jes' rub his ole eyes wide, En dress up foh a stroll; He wax his whiskehs up, en den He crawl out ob his hole!

Up yondah shine de big red sun, Eh-blazin' in the sky, En at his side his shaddeh walk,-- So Mistah Groun'-hog fly!

He skeehed so bad he tuhn him 'roun'

En say, "Ah wake too soon; Ah'll jes' go home en take a nap 'Twel Sunday aftehnoon!"

So Mistah Groun'-hog run en run En crawl his deep hole in, Toh snooze ehway foh six moah weeks 'Foh he wakes up ehgin!

When Trouble Came.

Ole Trouble come toh ouah house One stohmy day en say, "De road am hahd toh trabble,-- Ah hope you'll lemme stay!"

He staht toh hang his hat up, En pull his ober-coat: Ah box him oh de eah-m.u.f.fs En choke him in de tho'at!

Ah say, "Ole Mistah Trouble, Ah'm pleased so much toh say Dis house am mighty crowded,-- You-all jes' go ehway!"

Ah take my happy fiddle Up dah beside my hat,-- Ah play him Ole Dan Tuckeh, En what you t'ink ob dat!

Wanted a Bill or Two.

"Where are you going, Rastus?" inquired the reporter of an old negro at the depot.

"Ah's gwine obah toh Guthrie whah dem legislachuh men am pa.s.sin' dem bills!" was the reply. "Ah's done libed hyah long ernuff, anyhow, en ef Ah git obah whah de bills am a pa.s.sin' dey may pa.s.s a few whah my pockets stay, sho'!"

Whenever you find a man who has made an ign.o.ble failure of managing himself properly, you'll always find one who thinks he could give the Lord pointers on running the universe.

Look out for Trouble.

When yuh see ole Mistah Trouble Jumpin' high ehlong yoh way, Jes' twis' yoh lips toh puckah, En whistle night en day!

He'll nevah stop a minute Toh tell yuh how-de-doo, But take ehcrost de kentry En jump de fences, too!

Doan' spen' yoh time eh-gazin'

Up yondah at de sky: It shuah will make yoh dizzy En pain yoh lit'le eye; Jes' keep yohse'f eh-lookin'

Clah down de way yuh go: De bulgine sho'ly comin'

De fus' thing dat yuh know!

Doan' twis' yoh neck, my bruddeh, Eh gawkin' at de sun; He'll shine up dah forebbeh No mattah whah yuh run; Jes' look out foh de bresh-piles En cross de mud-holes slow: 'Twill keep yuh mighty busy Watchin' dese hyah paths yuh go!

Don't growl if Fortune didn't trust you with more. Just think what a fool she would have been to favor you with greater gifts!

The Good Times Song.

Sing a song of good times!

Life is full of bliss, And the merry music Who shall dare to miss?

Joy delights the valleys, Plenty's everywhere, And pleasure swells the chorus Till we conquer care.

Sing a song of good times!

That's the tune for me; The bow's upon the fiddle And the fiddle's full of glee!

It's swing your pardners, honey, And swing them all the night; The good times call the measures And we're dancing to the light!

n.o.body Hurt.

"I hear that Slugem and Hittem met last night."

"Yes, so they did."

"Which one of them got the worst of it?"

"Oh, there was no damage done. They made it all up, and nothing suffered but their New Year Resolutions!"

In the Legislature.

"An' Oi say, Moike," said Patrick O'Ferrall, to his neighbor Mike O'Neill, "Oi say, Moike, have ye heerd from yer bye Dennis lately who wint out wist?"