"Good! We'll get one, Aunty," says Dyke, and then he whispers in my ear, "Slip around the corner and call for Jerry Powers. Number 439. He can make a taxi take hurdles and water jumps."

I don't know whether it was luck or not, but Jerry was on the stand with the tin flag up, and inside of two minutes the three of us was stowed away inside, with the bag on top, and Dyke holdin' Bismarck in his lap.

"Now my featherbed," says Aunt Elvira, and she has the porter jam it in alongside of me, which makes more or less of a full house. Then the procession starts, our taxi in the lead, the brougham second, and the married sisters trailin' behind in a hansom.

"My sakes! but these things do ride easy!" says Aunty, settlin' back in her corner. "Can they go any faster, Dyckman?"

"Just wait until we get straightened out on the avenue," says Dyke, and tips me the roguish glance.

"I've ridden behind some fast horses in my time," says the old lady; "so you can't scare me. But now, Dyckman, I'd like to know exactly what you've been doing, and what you intend to do."

Well, Dyke starts in to unload the whole yarn, beginnin' by ownin' up that he'd scratched the Bishop proposition long ago. And he was statin'

some of his troubles at college, when I gets a backward glimpse out of the side window at something that makes me sit up. First off I thought it was another snow storm with flakes bigger'n I'd ever seen before, and then I tumbles to the situation. It ain't snow; it's feathers. In jammin'

that mattress into the taxi the tick must have had a hole ripped in it, and the part that was bulgin' through the opposite window was leakin' hen foliage to beat the cars.

"Hey!" says I, buttin' in on the confession and pointin' back. "We're losin' part of our cargo."

"Land sakes!" says Aunt Elvira, after one glance. "Stop! Stop!"

At that Dyke pounds on the front glass for the driver to shut off the juice. But Jerry must have had Dyke out before, and maybe he mistook the signal. Anyway, the machine gives a groan and a jerk and we begins skimmin' along the asphalt at double speed. That don't check the moltin'

process any, and Dyke was gettin' real excited, when we hears a chuckle from Aunt Elvira.

The old girl has got her eyes trained through the back window. Thanks to our speed and the stiff wind that's blowin' down the avenue, the Mallory brougham, with the horses on the jump to keep up with us, is gettin' the full benefit of the feather storm. The dark green uniforms of the Mallory coachman and footman was being plastered thick, and they was both spittin' out feathers as fast as they could, and the Mallorys was wipin'

'em out of their eyes and ears, and the crowds on the sidewalk has caught on and is enjoyin' the performance, and a mounted cop was starin' at us kind of puzzled, as if he was tryin' to decide whether or not we was breakin' an ordinance.

"Look at Craig! Look at Mabel Ann!" snickers Aunt Elvira. "Tell your man to go faster, Dyckman. Push out more feathers!"

"More feathers it is," says I, shovin' another fold of the bed through the window. Even Bismarck gets excited and starts squawkin'.

Talk about your joy rides! I'll bet that's the only one of the kind ever pulled off on Fifth-ave. And it near tickles the old girl to death. What was a featherbed to her, when she had her sportin' blood up and was gettin' a hunch in on Brother Craig and his wife?

We goes four blocks before we shakes out the last of our ammunition, and by that time the Mallory brougham looks like a poultry wagon after a busy day at the market, while Aunt Elvira has cut loose with the mirth so hard that the velvet bonnet is hangin' under her chin, and Bismarck is out of breath. It's a wonder we wa'n't pinched for breakin' the speed laws; but the traffic cops is so busy watchin' the feather blizzard that they forgets to hold us up. Dyke wants to know if I'll come in for a cup of tea, or ride back with Jerry.

"Thanks, but I'll walk back," says I, as we pulls up at the house. "Guess I can find the trail easy enough, eh?"

I s'posed I'd get a report of the reunion from him next day; but it wa'n't until this mornin' that he shows up here and drags me down to the curb to look at his new sixty-horse-power macadam burner.

"Birthday present from Aunty," says he. "Say, she's all to the good, Shorty. She got over that Bishop idea months ago, all by herself. And what do you think? She says I'm to have a thousand a month, just to enjoy myself on. Whe-e-e! Can I do it?"

"Do it, son," says I. "If you can't, I don't know who can."

CHAPTER XIX

TURNING A TRICK FOR BEANY

Where'd I collect the Flemish oak tint on muh noble br-r-r-ow? No, not sunnin' myself down to Coney Island. No such tinhorn stunt for me! This is the real plute color, this is, and I laid it on durin' a little bubble tour we'd been takin' through the breakfast doughnut zone.

It was Pinckney's blow. He ain't had the gasolene-burnin' fever very hard until this summer; but when he does get it, he goes the limit, as usual.

Course, he's been off on excursions with his friends, and occasionally he's chartered a machine by the day; but I'd never heard him talk of wantin' to own one. And then the first thing I knows he shows up at the house last Monday night in the tonneau of one of these big seven-seater road destroyers, all fitted out complete with spare shoes, hat box, and a double-decker trunk strapped on the rack behind.

"Gee!" says I. "Why didn't you buy a private railroad train while you was about it, Pinckney?"

"Precisely what I thought I was getting," says he. "However, I want you and Sadie to help me test it. We'll start to-morrow morning at nine-thirty. Be all ready, will you?"

"Got any idea where you're going, or how long you'll be gone?" says I.

"Nothing very definite," says he. "Purdy-Pell suggested the shore road to Boston and back through the Berkshires."

"Fine!" says I. "I'd love to go meanderin' through the country with you from now until Christmas; but sad to say I've got one or two----"

"Oh, Renee tells me we can make it in four days," says Pinckney, nodding at the chauffeur. "He's been over the route a dozen times."

Well, I puts the proposition up to Sadie, expectin' she'd queer it first jump; but inside of ten minutes she'd planned out just how she could leave little Sully, and what she should wear, and it's all fixed. I tried to show her where I couldn't afford to quit the studio for two or three weeks, just at this time of year, when so many of my reg'lars need tunin'

up after their vacations; but my arguments don't carry much weight.

"Rubbish, Shorty!" says she. "We'll be back before the end of the week, and Swifty Joe can manage until then. Anyway, we're not going to miss this lovely weather. We're going, that's all!"

"Well," says I to Pinckney, "I've decided to go."

Now this ain't any lightnin' conductor rehash. Bubble tourin' has its good points, and it has its drawbacks, too. If you're willin' to take things as they come along, and you're travelin' with the right bunch, and your own disposition's fair to middlin', why, you can have a bang up time, just like you could anywhere with the same layout. Also, I'm willin' to risk an encore to this partic'lar trip any time I get the chance.

But there was something else I was gettin' at. It don't turn up until along durin' the afternoon of our second day out. We was tearin' along one of them new tar roads between Narragansett Pier and Newport, and I was tryin' to hand a josh to Renee by askin' him to be sure and tell me when we went through Rhode Island, as I wanted to take a glance at it,--for we must have been hittin' fifty an hour, with the engine runnin'

as smooth and sweet as a French clock,--when all of a sudden there's a bang like bustin' a paper bag, and we feels the car sag down on one side.

"_Sacre!_" says Renee through his front teeth.

"Ha, ha!" sings out Pinckney. "My first blow-out!"

"Glad you feel so happy over it," says I.

It's a sensation that don't bring much joy, as a rule. Here you are, skimmin' along through the country, glancin' at things sort of casual, same's you do from a Pullman window, but not takin' any int'rest in the scenery except in a general way, only wonderin' now and then how it is people happen to live in places so far away.

And then all in a minute the scenery ain't movin' past you at all. It stops dead in its tracks, like when the film of a movin' picture machine gets tangled up, and there's only one partic'lar scene to look at. It's mighty curious, too, how quick that special spot loses its charm. Also, as a gen'ral rule, such things happen just at the wrong spot in the road.

Now we'd been sailin' along over a ridge, where we could look out across Narragansett Bay for miles; but here where our tire had gone on the blink was a kind of dip down between the hills, with no view at all.

First off we all has to pile out and get in Renee's way while he inspects the damage. It's a blow-out for fair, a hole big enough to lay your two hands in, right across the tread, where we'd picked up a broken bottle, or maybe a cast horseshoe with the nails in it. Then, while he proceeds to get busy with the jack and tire irons, we all makes up our minds to a good long wait; for when you tackle one of them big boys, with the rims rusted in, it ain't any fifteen-minute picnic, you know.

Course, Pinckney gets out his fireless bottles and the glasses and improves the time by handin' around somethin' soothin' or cheerin', accordin' to taste. Not bein' thirsty, I begins inspectin' the contagious scenery. It wa'n't anything an artist would yearn to paint. Just back from the road is a sort of shack that looks as though someone might be campin' out in it, and behind that a mess of rough sheds and chicken coops.

Next I discovers that the object down in the field which I'd taken for a scarecrow was a live man. By the motions he's goin' through, he's diggin'

potatoes, and from the way he sticks to it, not payin' any attention to us, it seems as if he found it a mighty int'restin' pastime. You'd most think, livin' in an out of the way, forsaken place like that, that most any native would be glad to stop work long enough to look over a hot lookin' bunch like ours.

This one don't seem inclined that way, though. He keeps his back bent and his head down and his hands busy. Now, whenever I've been out in a machine, and we've had any kind of trouble, there's always been a gawpin'

committee standin' around, composed of every human being in sight at the time of the casualty, includin' a few that seemed to pop up out of the ground. But here's a case where the only party that can act as an audience ain't doin' his duty. So a fool freak hits me to stroll over and poke him up.