Oblivion stories.

by David Foster Wallace.

For Karen Carlson and Karen Green

MISTER SQUISHY.

The Focus Group was then reconvened in another of Reesemeyer Shannon Belt Advertising's nineteenth-floor conference rooms. Each member returned his Individual Response Profile packets to the facilitator, who thanked each in turn. The long conference table was equipped with leather executive swivel chairs; there was no a.s.signed seating. Bottled spring water and caffeinated beverages were made available to those who thought they might want them. The exterior wall of the conference room was a thick tinted window with a broad high-alt.i.tude view of points NE, creating a s.p.a.cious, attractive, and more or less natural-lit environment that was welcome after the bland fluorescent enclosure of the testing cubicles. One or two members of the Targeted Focus Group unconsciously loosened their neckties as they settled into the comfortable chairs.

There were more samples of the product arranged on a tray at the conference table's center.

This facilitator, just like the one who'd led the large Product Test and Initial Response a.s.sembly earlier that morning before all the members of the different Focus Groups had been separated into individual soundproof cubicles to complete their Individual Response Profiles, held degrees in both Descriptive Statistics and Behavioral Psychology and was employed by Team y, a cutting-edge market research firm that Reesemeyer Shannon Belt Adv. had begun using almost exclusively in recent years. This Focus Group's facilitator was a stout, palely freckled man with an archaic haircut and a warm if somewhat nervous and complexly irreverent manner. On the wall next to the door behind him was a presentation whiteboard with several Dry Erase markers in its recessed aluminum sill.

The facilitator played idly with the edges of the IRPs forms in his folder until all the men had seated themselves and gotten comfortable. Then he said: 'Right, so thanks again for your part in this, which as I'm pretty sure Mr. Mounce told you this morning is always an important part of deciding what new products get made available to consumers versus those that don't.' He had a graceful, practiced way of panning his gaze back and forth to make sure he addressed the entire table, a skill that was slightly at odds with the bashful, somewhat fidgety presentation of his body as he spoke before the a.s.sembled men. The fourteen members of the Focus Group, all male and several with beverages before them, engaged in the slight gestures and expressions of men around a conference table who are less than 100% sure what is going to be expected of them. The conference room was very different in appearance and feel from the sterile, almost lablike auditorium in which the PT/IR had been held two hours earlier. The facilitator, who did have the customary pocket-protector with three different colored pens in it, wore a crisp striped dress shirt and wool tie and cocoa-brown slacks, but no jacket or sportcoat. His shirtsleeves were not rolled up. His smile had a slight wincing quality, several members observed, as of some vague diffuse apology. Attached to the breast pocket on the same side of his shirt as his nametag was also a large pin or b.u.t.ton emblazoned with the familiar Mister Squishy brand icon, which was a plump and childlike cartoon face of indeterminate ethnicity with its eyes squeezed partly shut in an expression that somehow connoted delight, satiation, and rapacious desire all at the same time. The icon communicated the sort of innocuous facial affect that was almost impossible not to smile back at or feel positive about in some way, and it had been commissioned and introduced by one of Reesemeyer Shannon Belt's senior creative people over a decade ago, when the regional Mister Squishy Company had come under national corporate ownership and rapidly expanded and diversified from extra-soft sandwich breads and buns into sweet rolls and flavored doughnuts and snack cakes and soft confections of nearly every conceivable kind; and without any particular messages or a.s.sociations anyone in Demographics could ever produce data to quantify or get a handle on, the crude line-drawn face had become one of the most popular, recognizable, and demonstrably successful brand icons in American advertising.

Traffic was brisk on the street far below, and also trade.

It was, however, not the Mister Squishy brand icon that concerned the carefully chosen and vetted Focus Groups on this bright cold November day in 1995. Currently in third-phase Focus Testing was a new and high-concept chocolate-intensive Mister Squishy-brand snack cake designed primarily for individual sale in convenience stores, with twelve-pack boxes to be placed in up-market food retail outlets first in the Midwest and upper East Coast and then, if the test-market data bore out Mister Squishy's parent company's hopes, nationwide.

A total 27 of the snack cakes were piled in a pyramidal display on a large rotating silver tray in the center of the conference table. Each was wrapped in an airtight transpolymer material that looked like paper but tore like thin plastic, the same retail packaging that nearly all US confections had deployed since M&M Mars pioneered the composite and used it to help launch the innovative Milky Way Dark line in the late 1980s. This new product's wrap had the familiar distinctive Mister Squishy navy-and-white design scheme, but here the Mister Squishy icon appeared with its eyes and mouth rounded in cartoon alarm behind a series of microtextured black lines that appeared to be the bars of a jail cell, around two of which lines or bars the icon's plump and dough-colored fingers were curled in the universal position of inmates everywhere. The dark and exceptionally dense and moist-looking snack cakes inside the packaging were Felonies! Felonies!-a risky and multivalent trade name meant both to connote and to parody the modern health-conscious consumer's sense of vice/indulgence/transgression/sin vis a vis the consumption of a high-calorie corporate snack. The name's a.s.sociation matrix included as well the suggestion of adulthood and adult autonomy: in its real-world rejection of the highly cute, cartoonish, n n- and oo oo-intensive names of so many other snack cakes, the product tag 'Felony!' 'Felony!' was designed and tested primarily for its appeal to the 18-39 Male demographic, the single most prized and fictile demotarget in high-end marketing. Only two of the present Focus Group's members were over 40, and their profiles had been vetted not once but twice by Scott R. Laleman's Technical Processing team during the intensive demographic/behavioral voir dire for which Team y Focus Group data was so justly prized. was designed and tested primarily for its appeal to the 18-39 Male demographic, the single most prized and fictile demotarget in high-end marketing. Only two of the present Focus Group's members were over 40, and their profiles had been vetted not once but twice by Scott R. Laleman's Technical Processing team during the intensive demographic/behavioral voir dire for which Team y Focus Group data was so justly prized.

Inspired, according to agency rumor, by an R.S.B. Creative Director's epiphanic encounter with something billed as Death by Chocolate in a Near North cafe, Felonies! Felonies! were all-chocolate, filling and icing and cake as well, and in fact all-real-or- were all-chocolate, filling and icing and cake as well, and in fact all-real-or-fondant-chocolate instead of the usual hydrogenated cocoa and high-F corn syrup, Felonies! Felonies! conceived thus less as a variant on rivals' Zingers, Ding Dongs, Ho Hos, and Choco-Diles than as a radical upscaling and re-visioning of same. A domed cylinder of flourless maltilol-flavored sponge cake covered entirely in 2.4mm of a high-lecithin chocolate frosting manufactured with trace amounts of b.u.t.ter, cocoa b.u.t.ter, baker's chocolate, chocolate liquor, vanilla extract, dextrose, and sorbitol (a relatively high-cost frosting, and one whose b.u.t.ter-redundancies alone required heroic innovations in production systems and engineering-an entire production line had had to be remachined and the lineworkers retrained and production and quality-a.s.surance quotas recalculated more or less from scratch), which high-end frosting was then also injected by high-pressure confectionery needle into the 26 13mm hollow ellipse in each conceived thus less as a variant on rivals' Zingers, Ding Dongs, Ho Hos, and Choco-Diles than as a radical upscaling and re-visioning of same. A domed cylinder of flourless maltilol-flavored sponge cake covered entirely in 2.4mm of a high-lecithin chocolate frosting manufactured with trace amounts of b.u.t.ter, cocoa b.u.t.ter, baker's chocolate, chocolate liquor, vanilla extract, dextrose, and sorbitol (a relatively high-cost frosting, and one whose b.u.t.ter-redundancies alone required heroic innovations in production systems and engineering-an entire production line had had to be remachined and the lineworkers retrained and production and quality-a.s.surance quotas recalculated more or less from scratch), which high-end frosting was then also injected by high-pressure confectionery needle into the 26 13mm hollow ellipse in each Felony!' Felony!'s center (a center which in for example Hostess Inc.'s products was packed with what amounted to a sucrotic whipped lard), resulting in double doses of an ultrarich and near-restaurant- grade frosting whose central pocket-given that the thin coat of outer frosting's exposure to the air caused it to a.s.sume traditional icing's hard-yet-deliquescent marzipan character-seemed even richer, denser, sweeter, and more felonious than the exterior icing, icing that in most rivals' Field tests' IRPs and GRDS was declared consumers' favorite part. (Hostess's lead agency Chiat/Day I.B.'s 1991-2 double-blind Behavior series' videotapes recorded over 45% of younger consumers actually peeling off Ho Hos' matte icing in great dry jagged flakes and eating it solo, leaving the low-end cake itself to sit ossifying on their tables' Lazy Susans, film clips of which had reportedly been part of R.S.B.'s initial pitch to Mister Squishy's parent company's Subsidiary Product Development boys.) In an unconventional move, some of this quote unquote Full-Access background information re ingredients, production innovations, and even demotargeting was being relayed to the Focus Group by the facilitator, who used a Dry Erase marker to sketch a diagram of Mister Squishy's snack cake production sequence and the complex adjustments required by Felonies! Felonies! at select points along the automated line. The relevant information was relayed in a skillfully orchestrated QA period, with many of the specified questions supplied by two ostensible members of the Targeted Focus Group who were in fact not civilian consumers at all but employees of Team y a.s.signed to help orchestrate the unconventionally informative QA, and to observe the deliberations of the other twelve men once the facilitator left the room, taking care not to influence the Focus Group's arguments or verdicts but later adding personal observations and impressions that would help round and flesh out the data provided by the Group Response Data Summary and the digital videotape supplied by what appeared to be a large smoke detector in the conference room's northwest corner, whose lens and parabolic mike, while mobile and state-of-the-art, invariably failed to catch certain subtle nuances in individual affect as well as low-volume interchanges between adjoining members. One of the UAFs, at select points along the automated line. The relevant information was relayed in a skillfully orchestrated QA period, with many of the specified questions supplied by two ostensible members of the Targeted Focus Group who were in fact not civilian consumers at all but employees of Team y a.s.signed to help orchestrate the unconventionally informative QA, and to observe the deliberations of the other twelve men once the facilitator left the room, taking care not to influence the Focus Group's arguments or verdicts but later adding personal observations and impressions that would help round and flesh out the data provided by the Group Response Data Summary and the digital videotape supplied by what appeared to be a large smoke detector in the conference room's northwest corner, whose lens and parabolic mike, while mobile and state-of-the-art, invariably failed to catch certain subtle nuances in individual affect as well as low-volume interchanges between adjoining members. One of the UAFs,* a slim young man with waxy blond hair and a complexion whose redness appeared more irritated than ruddy or hale, had been allowed by Team y's UAF Coordinator to cultivate an eccentric and (to most Focus Group members) irritating set of personal mannerisms whose very conspicuousness served to disguise his professional ident.i.ty: he had small squeeze bottles of both contact lens lubricant and intranasal saline before him on the table, and not only took written notes on the facilitator's presentation but did so with a Magic Marker that squeaked loudly and had ink you could smell, and whenever he asked one of his prea.s.signed questions he did not tentatively raise his hand or clear his throat as other UAFs were wont but rather simply tersely barked out, 'Question:', as in: 'Question: is it possible to be more specific about what "natural and artificial flavors" means, and is there any substantive difference between what it really means and what the average consumer is expected to understand it to mean,' without any sort of interrogative lilt or expression, his brow furrowed and rimless gla.s.ses very askew. a slim young man with waxy blond hair and a complexion whose redness appeared more irritated than ruddy or hale, had been allowed by Team y's UAF Coordinator to cultivate an eccentric and (to most Focus Group members) irritating set of personal mannerisms whose very conspicuousness served to disguise his professional ident.i.ty: he had small squeeze bottles of both contact lens lubricant and intranasal saline before him on the table, and not only took written notes on the facilitator's presentation but did so with a Magic Marker that squeaked loudly and had ink you could smell, and whenever he asked one of his prea.s.signed questions he did not tentatively raise his hand or clear his throat as other UAFs were wont but rather simply tersely barked out, 'Question:', as in: 'Question: is it possible to be more specific about what "natural and artificial flavors" means, and is there any substantive difference between what it really means and what the average consumer is expected to understand it to mean,' without any sort of interrogative lilt or expression, his brow furrowed and rimless gla.s.ses very askew.

As any decent small-set univariable probability distribution would predict, not all members of the Targeted Focus Group were attending closely to the facilitator's explanation of what Mister Squishy and Team y hoped to achieve by leaving the Focus Group alone very shortly in camera in camera to compare the results of their Individual Response Profiles and speak openly and without interference amongst themselves and attempt to come as close as possible to a unanimous univocal Group Response Data Summary of the product along sixteen different radial Preference and Satisfaction axes. A certain amount of this inattention was factored into the matrices of what the TFG's facilitator had been informed was the actual test underway on today's nineteenth floor. This secondary (or, 'nested') test sought quantifiable data on quote unquote Full-Access manufacturing and marketing information's effects on Targeted Focus Groups' perceptions of both the product and its corporate producer; it was a double-blind series, designed to be replicated along three different variable grids with random TFGs throughout the next two fiscal quarters, and sponsored by parties whose ident.i.ties were being withheld from the facilitators as (apparently) part of the nested test's conditions. to compare the results of their Individual Response Profiles and speak openly and without interference amongst themselves and attempt to come as close as possible to a unanimous univocal Group Response Data Summary of the product along sixteen different radial Preference and Satisfaction axes. A certain amount of this inattention was factored into the matrices of what the TFG's facilitator had been informed was the actual test underway on today's nineteenth floor. This secondary (or, 'nested') test sought quantifiable data on quote unquote Full-Access manufacturing and marketing information's effects on Targeted Focus Groups' perceptions of both the product and its corporate producer; it was a double-blind series, designed to be replicated along three different variable grids with random TFGs throughout the next two fiscal quarters, and sponsored by parties whose ident.i.ties were being withheld from the facilitators as (apparently) part of the nested test's conditions.

Three of the Targeted Focus Group's members were staring absently out the large tinted window that gave on a delicately muted sepia view of the street's north side's skysc.r.a.pers and, beyond and between these, different bits of the northeast Loop and harbor and several feet of severely foreshortened lake. Two of these members were very young men at the extreme left of the demotarget's x x axis who sat slumped in their tilted swivels in att.i.tudes of either reverie or stylized indifference; the third was feeling absently at his upper lip's little dent. axis who sat slumped in their tilted swivels in att.i.tudes of either reverie or stylized indifference; the third was feeling absently at his upper lip's little dent.

The Focus Group facilitator, trained by the requirements of what seemed to have turned out to be his profession to behave as though he were interacting in a lively and spontaneous way while actually remaining inwardly detached and almost clinically observant, possessed also a natural eye for behavioral details that could often reveal tiny gems of statistical relevance amid the rough raw surfeit of random fact. Sometimes little things made a difference. The facilitator's name was Terry Schmidt and he was 34 years old, a Virgo. Eleven of the Focus Group's fourteen men wore wrist.w.a.tches, of which roughly one-third were expensive and/or foreign. A twelfth, by far the TFG's oldest member, had the platinum fob of a quality pocket.w.a.tch running diagonally left-right across his vest and a big pink face and the permanent benevolent look in his eyes of someone older who had many grandchildren and spent so much time looking warmly at them that the expression becomes almost ingrained. Schmidt's own grandfather had lived in a north Florida retirement community where he sat with a plaid blanket on his lap and coughed constantly both times Schmidt had ever been in his presence, addressing him only as Boy. Precisely 50% of the room's men wore coats and ties or had suitcoats or blazers hanging from the back of their chairs, three of which coats were part of an actual three-piece business wardrobe; another three men wore combinations of knit shirts, slacks, and various crew- and turtleneck sweaters cla.s.sifiable as Business Casual. Schmidt lived alone in a condominium he had recently refinanced. The remaining four men wore bluejeans and sweatshirts with the logo of either a university or the garment's manufacturer; one was the Nike Swoosh icon that to Schmidt always looked somewhat Arabic. Three of the four men in conspicuously casual/sloppy attire were the Focus Group's youngest members, two of whom were among the three making rather a show of not attending closely. Team y favored a loose demographic grid. Two of the three youngest men were under 21. All three of these youngest members sat back on their tailbones with their legs uncrossed and their hands spread out over their thighs and their faces arranged in the mildly sullen expressions of consumers who have never once questioned their ent.i.tlement to satisfaction or meaning. Schmidt's initial undergraduate concentration had been in Statistical Chemistry; he still enjoyed the clinical precision of a lab. Less than 50% of the room's total footwear involved laces. One man in a knit shirt had small bra.s.s zippers up the sides of low-cut boots that were shined to a distracting gleam, another detail possessed of mnemonic a.s.sociations for Schmidt. Unlike Terry Schmidt's and Ron Mounce's, Darlene Lilley's own marketing background was in computer-aided design; she'd come into Research because she said she'd discovered she was really more of a people person at heart. There were four pairs of eyegla.s.ses in the room, although one of these pairs were sungla.s.ses and possibly not prescription, another with heavy black frames that gave their wearer's face an earnest aspect above his dark turtleneck sweater. There were two mustaches and one probable goatee. A stocky man in his late twenties had a sort of spa.r.s.e, mossy beard; it was indeterminable whether this man was just starting to grow a beard or whether he was the sort of person whose beard simply looked this way. Among the youngest men, it was obvious which were sincerely in need of a shave and which were just affecting an unshaved look. Two of the Focus Group's members had the distinctive blink patterns of men wearing contact lenses in the conference room's astringent air. Five of the men were more than 10% overweight, Terry Schmidt himself excluded. His high-school PE teacher had once referred to Terry Schmidt in front of his peers as the Crisco Kid, which he had laughingly explained meant fat in the can. fat in the can. Schmidt's own father, a decorated combat veteran, had recently retired from a company that sold seed, nitrogen fertilizer, and broad-spectrum herbicides in downstate Galesburg. The affectedly eccentric UAF was asking the men on either side of him, one of whom was Hispanic, whether they'd perhaps care for a chewable vitamin C tablet. The Mister Squishy icon also reappeared in the conference room as the stylized finials of two fine beige or tan ceramic lamps on side tables at either end of the windowless interior wall. There were two African-American males in the Targeted Focus Group, one over 30, the one under 30 with a shaved head. Three of the men had hair cla.s.sifiable as brown, two gray or salt/pepper, another three black (excluding the African-Americans and the Focus Group's lone oriental, whose nametag and overwhelming cheekbones suggested either Laos or the Socialist Republic of Vietnam-for complex but solid statistical reasons, Scott Laleman's team's Profile grids specified distributions for ethnicity but not national origin); three could be called blond or fair-haired. These distributions included the UAFs, and Schmidt felt he already had a good idea who this Group's other UAF was. Rarely did R.S.B. Focus Groups include representatives of the very pale or freckled red-haired physical type, though Foote, Cone & Belding and D.D.B. Needham both made regular use of such types because of certain data suggesting meaningful connections between melanin quotients and continuous probability distributions of income and preference on the US East Coast, where over 70% of upmarket products tested. Some of the trendy hypergeometric techniques on which these data were based had been called into question by more traditional demographic statisticians, however. Schmidt's own father, a decorated combat veteran, had recently retired from a company that sold seed, nitrogen fertilizer, and broad-spectrum herbicides in downstate Galesburg. The affectedly eccentric UAF was asking the men on either side of him, one of whom was Hispanic, whether they'd perhaps care for a chewable vitamin C tablet. The Mister Squishy icon also reappeared in the conference room as the stylized finials of two fine beige or tan ceramic lamps on side tables at either end of the windowless interior wall. There were two African-American males in the Targeted Focus Group, one over 30, the one under 30 with a shaved head. Three of the men had hair cla.s.sifiable as brown, two gray or salt/pepper, another three black (excluding the African-Americans and the Focus Group's lone oriental, whose nametag and overwhelming cheekbones suggested either Laos or the Socialist Republic of Vietnam-for complex but solid statistical reasons, Scott Laleman's team's Profile grids specified distributions for ethnicity but not national origin); three could be called blond or fair-haired. These distributions included the UAFs, and Schmidt felt he already had a good idea who this Group's other UAF was. Rarely did R.S.B. Focus Groups include representatives of the very pale or freckled red-haired physical type, though Foote, Cone & Belding and D.D.B. Needham both made regular use of such types because of certain data suggesting meaningful connections between melanin quotients and continuous probability distributions of income and preference on the US East Coast, where over 70% of upmarket products tested. Some of the trendy hypergeometric techniques on which these data were based had been called into question by more traditional demographic statisticians, however.

By industry-wide convention, Focus Group members received a per diem equal to exactly 300% of what they would receive for jury duty in the state where they resided. The reasoning behind this equation was so old and tradition-bound that no one of Terry Schmidt's generation knew its origin. It was, for senior test marketers, both an in-joke and a plausible extension of verified att.i.tudes about civic duty and elective consumption, respectively. The Hispanic man to the off-blond UAF's left, who did not wear a wrist.w.a.tch, had evidence of large tattoos on his upper arms through the fabric of his dress shirt, which fabric the natural lighting's tinted hue rendered partly translucent. He was also one of the men with mustaches, and his nametag identified him as NORBERTO, NORBERTO, making this the first Norberto to appear in any of the over 845 Focus Groups that Schmidt had led so far in his career as a Statistical Field Researcher for Team y. Schmidt kept his own private records of correlations between product, Client agency, and certain variables in Focus Groups' const.i.tuents and procedures. These were run through various discriminant-a.n.a.lysis programs on his Apple-brand computer at home and the results collected in three-ring binders which he labeled and stored on a set of home-a.s.sembled gray steel shelves in the utility room of his condominium. The whole problem and project of descriptive statistics was discriminating between what made a difference and what did not. The fact that Scott R. Laleman now both vetted Focus Groups and helped design them was just one more sign that his star was ascending at Team y. The other real comer was A. Ronald Mounce, whose background was also in Technical Processing. 'Question:' 'Question:' 'Comment:' One man with a kind of long chinless face wished to know what making this the first Norberto to appear in any of the over 845 Focus Groups that Schmidt had led so far in his career as a Statistical Field Researcher for Team y. Schmidt kept his own private records of correlations between product, Client agency, and certain variables in Focus Groups' const.i.tuents and procedures. These were run through various discriminant-a.n.a.lysis programs on his Apple-brand computer at home and the results collected in three-ring binders which he labeled and stored on a set of home-a.s.sembled gray steel shelves in the utility room of his condominium. The whole problem and project of descriptive statistics was discriminating between what made a difference and what did not. The fact that Scott R. Laleman now both vetted Focus Groups and helped design them was just one more sign that his star was ascending at Team y. The other real comer was A. Ronald Mounce, whose background was also in Technical Processing. 'Question:' 'Question:' 'Comment:' One man with a kind of long chinless face wished to know what Felonies!' Felonies!' retail price was going to be, and he either didn't understand or disliked Terry Schmidt's explanation that retail pricing lay outside the purview of the Group's focus today and was in fact the responsibility of a whole different R.S.B. research vendor. The reasoning behind the separation of price from consumer-satisfaction grids was technical and parametric and was not included in the putative Full-Access information Schmidt was authorized to share with the Focus Group under the terms of the study. There was one obvious hairweave in the room, as well as two victims of untreated Male Pattern Baldness, both of whom-either interestingly or by mere random chance-were among the Group's four blue-eyed members. retail price was going to be, and he either didn't understand or disliked Terry Schmidt's explanation that retail pricing lay outside the purview of the Group's focus today and was in fact the responsibility of a whole different R.S.B. research vendor. The reasoning behind the separation of price from consumer-satisfaction grids was technical and parametric and was not included in the putative Full-Access information Schmidt was authorized to share with the Focus Group under the terms of the study. There was one obvious hairweave in the room, as well as two victims of untreated Male Pattern Baldness, both of whom-either interestingly or by mere random chance-were among the Group's four blue-eyed members.

When Schmidt thought of Scott Laleman, with his all-season tan and sungla.s.ses pushed musslessly up on his pale hair's crown, it was as something with the mindless malevolence of a carnivorous eel or skate, something that hunted on autopilot at extreme depths. The African-American male whose head was unshaved sat with the rigidity of someone who had back problems and understood the dignity with which he bore them to be an essential part of his character. The other wore sungla.s.ses indoors in such a way as to make some unknown type of statement about himself; there was also no way of knowing whether it was a general statement or one specific to this context. Scott Laleman was only 27 and had come on board at Team y three years after Darlene Lilley and two and one-half years after Schmidt himself, who had helped Darlene train Laleman to run chi-square and t t distributions on raw phone-survey data and had taken surprising satisfaction in watching the boy's eyes glaze and tan go sallow under the fluorescent banklights of Dy's data room, until then one day Schmidt had needed to see Alan Britton personally about something and had knocked and come in and Laleman was sitting in the office's recliner across the room and he and Britton were both smoking very large cigars and laughing. distributions on raw phone-survey data and had taken surprising satisfaction in watching the boy's eyes glaze and tan go sallow under the fluorescent banklights of Dy's data room, until then one day Schmidt had needed to see Alan Britton personally about something and had knocked and come in and Laleman was sitting in the office's recliner across the room and he and Britton were both smoking very large cigars and laughing.

The figure that began its free climb up the building's steadily increscent north facet just before 11:00 AM was outfitted in tight windproof Lycra leggings and a snug hooded GoreTex sweatshirt w/fiber-lined hood up and tied tight and what appeared to be mountaineering or rock-climbing boots except that instead of crampons or spikes there were suction cups lining the instep of each boot. Attached to both palms and wrists' insides were single suction cups the size of a plumber's helper; the cups' color was the same shrill orange as hunting jackets and road crews' hardhats. The Lycra pants' color scheme was one navy-blue leg and one white leg; the sweatshirt and hood were blue with white piping. The mountaineering boots were an emphatic black. The figure moved swiftly and with numerous moist popping suction-noises up the display window of the Gap, a large retail clothier. He then pulled himself up and over onto the narrow ledge at the base of the second-floor window, rose complexly to his feet, affixed his cups, and swarmed up the pane's thick gla.s.s, which gave onto the Gap's second floor but had no promotional items displayed within. The figure presented as lithe and expert. His manner of climbing appeared almost more reptilian than mammalian, you'd have to say. He was halfway up the window of a management consulting firm on the fifth floor when a small crowd of pa.s.sersby began to gather on the sidewalk below. Winds at ground level were light to moderate.

In the conference room, the north window's tint made the northeastern half-cloudy sky seem raw and the froth of the waves on the distant windblown lake look dark; it brindled the sides of the other tall buildings in view, as well, which were all partly in one another's shadow. Fully seven of the Focus Group's men had small remains of Felonies! Felonies! either on their shirtfront or hanging from the hairs on one side of their mustache or lodged at the inner corner of their mouth or in the small crease between the fingernail of their dominant hand and that nail's surrounding skin. Two of the men wore no socks; both these men's shoes were laceless leather; only one pair had ta.s.sels. One of the youngest men's denim bellbottoms were so terrifically oversized that even with his legs out splayed and both knees bent his sock-status was unknown. One of the older men wore black silk or rayon socks with tiny lozenges of dark rich red upon them. Another of the older men had a mean little slit of a mouth, another a face far too saggy and seamed for his demographic slot. As was often the case, the youngest men's faces appeared not quite yet fully or humanly formed, with the clean generic quality of products just off the factory floor. Terry Schmidt sometimes sketched his own face's outlines in caricature form as he spoke on the phone or waited for software programs to run. One of the group's men had a pear-shaped head, another a diamond- or kite-shaped face; the room's second-oldest consumer had cropped gray hair and an overdeveloped upper lip that lent him a simian aspect. The men's demoprofiles and initial Systat scores were in Schmidt's valise on the carpet next to the whiteboard; he also had an over-shoulder bag he kept in his cubicle. I was one of the men in this room, the only one wearing a wrist.w.a.tch who never once glanced at it. What looked just like gla.s.ses were not. I was wired from stem to stern. A small LCD at the bottom of my right scope ran both Real Time and Mission Time. My brief script for the GRDS caucus had been memorized intoto but there was a backup copy on a laminated card just inside my sweater's sleeve, held in place with small tabs I could release by depressing one of the b.u.t.tons on my wrist.w.a.tch, which was really not a watch at all. There was also the emetic prosthesis. The cakes, of which I had already made a show of eating three, were so sweet they hurt your teeth. either on their shirtfront or hanging from the hairs on one side of their mustache or lodged at the inner corner of their mouth or in the small crease between the fingernail of their dominant hand and that nail's surrounding skin. Two of the men wore no socks; both these men's shoes were laceless leather; only one pair had ta.s.sels. One of the youngest men's denim bellbottoms were so terrifically oversized that even with his legs out splayed and both knees bent his sock-status was unknown. One of the older men wore black silk or rayon socks with tiny lozenges of dark rich red upon them. Another of the older men had a mean little slit of a mouth, another a face far too saggy and seamed for his demographic slot. As was often the case, the youngest men's faces appeared not quite yet fully or humanly formed, with the clean generic quality of products just off the factory floor. Terry Schmidt sometimes sketched his own face's outlines in caricature form as he spoke on the phone or waited for software programs to run. One of the group's men had a pear-shaped head, another a diamond- or kite-shaped face; the room's second-oldest consumer had cropped gray hair and an overdeveloped upper lip that lent him a simian aspect. The men's demoprofiles and initial Systat scores were in Schmidt's valise on the carpet next to the whiteboard; he also had an over-shoulder bag he kept in his cubicle. I was one of the men in this room, the only one wearing a wrist.w.a.tch who never once glanced at it. What looked just like gla.s.ses were not. I was wired from stem to stern. A small LCD at the bottom of my right scope ran both Real Time and Mission Time. My brief script for the GRDS caucus had been memorized intoto but there was a backup copy on a laminated card just inside my sweater's sleeve, held in place with small tabs I could release by depressing one of the b.u.t.tons on my wrist.w.a.tch, which was really not a watch at all. There was also the emetic prosthesis. The cakes, of which I had already made a show of eating three, were so sweet they hurt your teeth.

Terry Schmidt himself was hypoglycemic and could eat only confections prepared with fructose, aspartame, or very small amounts of C6H8(OH)6, and sometimes he felt himself looking at trays of the product with the expression of an urchin at a toystore's window.

Down the hall and past the MROP* Division's green room, in another R.S.B. conference room whose window faced NE, Darlene Lilley was leading twelve consumers and two UAFs into the GRDS phase of Focused Response without any structured QA or ersatz Full-Access background. Neither Schmidt nor Darlene Lilley had been told which of today's TFGs represented the nested test's control group, though it was pretty obvious. You had to work on the upper floors for some time before you noticed the very slight sway with which the building's structural design accommodated winds off the lake. 'Question: just what exactly Division's green room, in another R.S.B. conference room whose window faced NE, Darlene Lilley was leading twelve consumers and two UAFs into the GRDS phase of Focused Response without any structured QA or ersatz Full-Access background. Neither Schmidt nor Darlene Lilley had been told which of today's TFGs represented the nested test's control group, though it was pretty obvious. You had to work on the upper floors for some time before you noticed the very slight sway with which the building's structural design accommodated winds off the lake. 'Question: just what exactly is is polysorbate 80?' Schmidt was reasonably certain that none of the Focus Group felt the sway. It was not p.r.o.nounced enough even to cause movement in the coffee in any of the iconized mugs on the table that Schmidt, standing and rotating the Dry Erase marker in his hand in an absent way that connoted both informality and a slight humanizing nervousness in front of groups, could see down into. The conference table was heavy pine with lemonwood inlays and a thick coat of polyurethane, and without the window's sepia tint there would be blinding pockets of reflected sun that changed angle as one's own angle with respect to the sun and table changed. Schmidt would also have had to watch dust and tiny clothing fibers swirl in columns of direct sunlight and fall very gently onto everyone's heads and upper bodies, which occurred in even the cleanest conference rooms and was one of Schmidt's least favorite things about the untinted interiors of certain other agencies' conference rooms around the Loop and metro area. Sometimes when waiting or on Hold on the phone Schmidt would put his finger inside his mouth and hold it there for no good reason he could ever ascertain. Darlene Lilley, who was married and the mother of a large-headed toddler whose photograph adorned her desk and hutch at Team y, had, three fiscal quarters past, been subjected to unwelcome s.e.xual advances by one of the four Senior Research Directors who liaisoned between the Field and Technical Processing teams and the upper echelons of Team y under Alan Britton, advances and duress more than sufficient for legal action in Schmidt's and most of the rest of their Field Team's opinions, which advances she had been able to deflect and defuse in an enormously skillful manner without raising any of the sort of hue and cry that could divide a firm along gender and/or political lines, and things had been allowed to cool down and blow over to such an extent that Darlene Lilley, Schmidt, and the three other members of their Field Team all now still enjoyed a productive working relationship with this dusky and pungent older Senior Research Director, who was now in fact overseeing Field research on the Mister Squishy-R.S.B. project, and Terry Schmidt was personally somewhat in awe of the self-possession and interpersonal savvy Darlene had displayed throughout the whole tense period, an awe tinged with an unwilled element of romantic attraction, and it is true that Schmidt at night in his condominium sometimes without feeling as if he could help himself m.a.s.t.u.r.b.a.t.ed to thoughts of having moist slapping intercourse with Darlene Lilley on one of the ponderous laminate conference tables of the firms they conducted statistical market research for, and this was a tertiary cause of what practicing social psychologists would call his MAM polysorbate 80?' Schmidt was reasonably certain that none of the Focus Group felt the sway. It was not p.r.o.nounced enough even to cause movement in the coffee in any of the iconized mugs on the table that Schmidt, standing and rotating the Dry Erase marker in his hand in an absent way that connoted both informality and a slight humanizing nervousness in front of groups, could see down into. The conference table was heavy pine with lemonwood inlays and a thick coat of polyurethane, and without the window's sepia tint there would be blinding pockets of reflected sun that changed angle as one's own angle with respect to the sun and table changed. Schmidt would also have had to watch dust and tiny clothing fibers swirl in columns of direct sunlight and fall very gently onto everyone's heads and upper bodies, which occurred in even the cleanest conference rooms and was one of Schmidt's least favorite things about the untinted interiors of certain other agencies' conference rooms around the Loop and metro area. Sometimes when waiting or on Hold on the phone Schmidt would put his finger inside his mouth and hold it there for no good reason he could ever ascertain. Darlene Lilley, who was married and the mother of a large-headed toddler whose photograph adorned her desk and hutch at Team y, had, three fiscal quarters past, been subjected to unwelcome s.e.xual advances by one of the four Senior Research Directors who liaisoned between the Field and Technical Processing teams and the upper echelons of Team y under Alan Britton, advances and duress more than sufficient for legal action in Schmidt's and most of the rest of their Field Team's opinions, which advances she had been able to deflect and defuse in an enormously skillful manner without raising any of the sort of hue and cry that could divide a firm along gender and/or political lines, and things had been allowed to cool down and blow over to such an extent that Darlene Lilley, Schmidt, and the three other members of their Field Team all now still enjoyed a productive working relationship with this dusky and pungent older Senior Research Director, who was now in fact overseeing Field research on the Mister Squishy-R.S.B. project, and Terry Schmidt was personally somewhat in awe of the self-possession and interpersonal savvy Darlene had displayed throughout the whole tense period, an awe tinged with an unwilled element of romantic attraction, and it is true that Schmidt at night in his condominium sometimes without feeling as if he could help himself m.a.s.t.u.r.b.a.t.ed to thoughts of having moist slapping intercourse with Darlene Lilley on one of the ponderous laminate conference tables of the firms they conducted statistical market research for, and this was a tertiary cause of what practicing social psychologists would call his MAM* with the board's marker as he used a modulated tone of off-the-record confidence to tell the Focus Group about some of the more dramatic travails Reesemeyer Shannon Belt had had with establishing the product's brand-ident.i.ty and coming up with the test name with the board's marker as he used a modulated tone of off-the-record confidence to tell the Focus Group about some of the more dramatic travails Reesemeyer Shannon Belt had had with establishing the product's brand-ident.i.ty and coming up with the test name Felony!, Felony!, all the while envisioning in a more autonomic part of his brain Darlene delivering nothing but the standard minimal pre-GRDS instructions for her own Focus Group as she stood in her dark Hanes hosiery and the burgundy high heels she kept at work in the bottom-right cabinet of her hutch and changed out of her crosstrainers into every morning the moment she sat down and rolled her chair with small pretend whimpers of effort over to the hutch's cabinets, sometimes (unlike Schmidt) pacing slightly in front of the whiteboard, sometimes planting one heel and rotating her foot slightly or crossing her st.u.r.dy ankles to lend her standing posture a carelessly demure aspect, sometimes taking her delicate oval eyegla.s.ses off and not chewing on the arm but holding the gla.s.ses in such a way and in such proximity to her mouth that one got the idea she could, at any moment, put one of the frames' arm's plastic earguards just inside her mouth and nibble on it absently, an unconscious gesture of shyness and concentration at once. all the while envisioning in a more autonomic part of his brain Darlene delivering nothing but the standard minimal pre-GRDS instructions for her own Focus Group as she stood in her dark Hanes hosiery and the burgundy high heels she kept at work in the bottom-right cabinet of her hutch and changed out of her crosstrainers into every morning the moment she sat down and rolled her chair with small pretend whimpers of effort over to the hutch's cabinets, sometimes (unlike Schmidt) pacing slightly in front of the whiteboard, sometimes planting one heel and rotating her foot slightly or crossing her st.u.r.dy ankles to lend her standing posture a carelessly demure aspect, sometimes taking her delicate oval eyegla.s.ses off and not chewing on the arm but holding the gla.s.ses in such a way and in such proximity to her mouth that one got the idea she could, at any moment, put one of the frames' arm's plastic earguards just inside her mouth and nibble on it absently, an unconscious gesture of shyness and concentration at once.

The conference room's carpeting was magenta pile in which wheels left symmetrically distended impressions when one or more of the men adjusted their executive swivel chairs slightly to reposition their legs or their bodies' relation to the table itself. The ventilation system laid a pale hum over tiny distant street and city noises which the window's thickness itself cut to almost nothing. Each of the Targeted Focus Group's members wore a blue-and-white nametag with his first name inscribed thereon by hand. 42.8% of these inscriptions were cursive or script; three of the remaining eight were block capitals, with all the block-cap first names, in a remarkable but statistically meaningless coincidence, beginning with H. H. Sometimes, too, Schmidt would as it were take a step back inside his head and view the Focus Group as a unit, a right-angled ma.s.s of fleshtone busts; he'd observe all the faces at once, qua group, so that nothing but the very broadest commonalities pa.s.sed through his filter. The faces were well-nourished, mid- to upscale, neutral, provisionally attentive, the blood-fed minds behind them occupied with their own owners' lives, jobs, problems, plans, desires, & c. None had been hungry a day in their lives-this was a core commonality, and for Schmidt this one did ramify. It was rare that the product ever truly penetrated a Focus Group's consciousness. One of the first things a Field Researcher accepts is that the product is never going to have as important a place in a TFG's minds as it did in the Client's. Advertising is not voodoo. The Client could ultimately hope only to create the impression of a connection or resonance between the brand and what was important to consumers. And what was important to consumers was, always and invariably, themselves. What they conceived themselves to be. The Focus Groups made little difference in the long run-the only true test was real sales, in Schmidt's personal opinion. Part of today's design was to go past lunch and keep the members eating only confections. a.s.suming a normal breakfasttime prior to arrival, one could expect their blood sugar to start heading down sharply by 11:30. The ones who ate the most Sometimes, too, Schmidt would as it were take a step back inside his head and view the Focus Group as a unit, a right-angled ma.s.s of fleshtone busts; he'd observe all the faces at once, qua group, so that nothing but the very broadest commonalities pa.s.sed through his filter. The faces were well-nourished, mid- to upscale, neutral, provisionally attentive, the blood-fed minds behind them occupied with their own owners' lives, jobs, problems, plans, desires, & c. None had been hungry a day in their lives-this was a core commonality, and for Schmidt this one did ramify. It was rare that the product ever truly penetrated a Focus Group's consciousness. One of the first things a Field Researcher accepts is that the product is never going to have as important a place in a TFG's minds as it did in the Client's. Advertising is not voodoo. The Client could ultimately hope only to create the impression of a connection or resonance between the brand and what was important to consumers. And what was important to consumers was, always and invariably, themselves. What they conceived themselves to be. The Focus Groups made little difference in the long run-the only true test was real sales, in Schmidt's personal opinion. Part of today's design was to go past lunch and keep the members eating only confections. a.s.suming a normal breakfasttime prior to arrival, one could expect their blood sugar to start heading down sharply by 11:30. The ones who ate the most Felonies! Felonies! would be hit the hardest. Among other symptoms, low blood sugar produces oscitance, irritability, lowered inhibitions-their game-faces would begin to slip a bit. Some of the TFG strategies could be extremely manipulative or even abusive in the name of data. A bleach-alternative detergent's agency had once hired Team y to convene primipara mothers aged 29 to 34 whose TATs had indicated insecurities at three key loci and to administer questionnaires whose items were designed to provoke and/or heighten those insecurities-Do you ever have negative or hostile feelings towards your child? How often do you feel as if you must hide or deny the fact that your parenting skills are inadequate? Have teachers or other parents ever made remarks about your child which embarra.s.sed you? How often do you feel as if your child looks shabby or unclean in comparison to other children? Have you ever neglected to launder, bleach, mend or iron your child's clothes because of time constraints? Does your child ever seem sad or anxious for no reason you can understand? Can you think of a time when your child appeared to be frightened of you? Does your child's behavior or appearance ever provoke negative feelings in you? Have you ever said or thought negative things about your child? & c.-which, over eleven hours and six separate rounds of carefully designed questionnaires, brought the women to such an emotional state that truly invaluable data on how to pitch Cheer Xtra in terms of very deep maternal anxieties and conflicts emerged . . . data that so far as Schmidt had been able to see went wholly unexploited in the campaign the agency had finally sold P. & G. on. Darlene Lilley had later said she had felt like calling the Focus Group's women and apologizing and letting them know that they'd been totally set up and manhandled, emotionally speaking. would be hit the hardest. Among other symptoms, low blood sugar produces oscitance, irritability, lowered inhibitions-their game-faces would begin to slip a bit. Some of the TFG strategies could be extremely manipulative or even abusive in the name of data. A bleach-alternative detergent's agency had once hired Team y to convene primipara mothers aged 29 to 34 whose TATs had indicated insecurities at three key loci and to administer questionnaires whose items were designed to provoke and/or heighten those insecurities-Do you ever have negative or hostile feelings towards your child? How often do you feel as if you must hide or deny the fact that your parenting skills are inadequate? Have teachers or other parents ever made remarks about your child which embarra.s.sed you? How often do you feel as if your child looks shabby or unclean in comparison to other children? Have you ever neglected to launder, bleach, mend or iron your child's clothes because of time constraints? Does your child ever seem sad or anxious for no reason you can understand? Can you think of a time when your child appeared to be frightened of you? Does your child's behavior or appearance ever provoke negative feelings in you? Have you ever said or thought negative things about your child? & c.-which, over eleven hours and six separate rounds of carefully designed questionnaires, brought the women to such an emotional state that truly invaluable data on how to pitch Cheer Xtra in terms of very deep maternal anxieties and conflicts emerged . . . data that so far as Schmidt had been able to see went wholly unexploited in the campaign the agency had finally sold P. & G. on. Darlene Lilley had later said she had felt like calling the Focus Group's women and apologizing and letting them know that they'd been totally set up and manhandled, emotionally speaking.

Some of the other products and agencies whose branding campaigns Terry Schmidt and Darlene Lilley's Field Team had also worked on for Team y were: Downyflake Waffles for D'Arcy Masius Benton & Bowles, Diet Caffeine Free c.o.ke for Ads Infinitum US, Eucalyptamint for Pringle Dixon, Citizens Business Insurance for Krauthammer-Jaynes/SMS, the G. Heileman Brewing Co.'s Special Export and Special Export Lite for Bayer Bess Vanderwarker, Winner International's HelpMe HelpMe Personal Sound Alarm for Reesemeyer Shannon Belt, Isotoner Comfort-Fit Gloves for PR Cogent Partners, Northern Bathroom Tissue for Reesemeyer Shannon Belt, and Rhone- Poulenc Rorer's new Nasacort and Nasacort AQ Prescription Nasal Spray, also for R.S.B. Personal Sound Alarm for Reesemeyer Shannon Belt, Isotoner Comfort-Fit Gloves for PR Cogent Partners, Northern Bathroom Tissue for Reesemeyer Shannon Belt, and Rhone- Poulenc Rorer's new Nasacort and Nasacort AQ Prescription Nasal Spray, also for R.S.B.

The only way for an observer to detect anything unusual or out of the ordinary about the two UAFs' status would be to note that the facilitator never once looked fully or directly at them, whereas on the other hand Schmidt did look at each of the other twelve men at various intervals, making brief and candid eye-contact with first one man and then another at a different place around the conference table and so on, a subtle skill (there is no term for it) that often marks those who are practiced at speaking before small groups, Schmidt neither holding any man's eye for so long as to discomfit nor simply panning automatonically back and forth and brushing only lightly against each man's gaze in such a way that the men in the Focus Group might feel as though this representative of Mister Squishy and Felonies! Felonies! were talking merely at them rather than to or with them; and it would have taken a practiced small-group observer indeed to notice that there were two men in the conference room-one being the terse eccentric member surrounded by personal-care products, the other a silent earnest-eyed bespectacled man who sat in blazer and turtleneck at the table's far corner, which latter Schmidt had decided was the second UAF: something a tiny bit too composed about the man's mien and blink-rate gave him up-on whose eyes the facilitator's never quite did alight all the way. Schmidt's lapse here was very subtle, and an observer would have to be both highly experienced and unusually attentive to extract any kind of meaning from it. were talking merely at them rather than to or with them; and it would have taken a practiced small-group observer indeed to notice that there were two men in the conference room-one being the terse eccentric member surrounded by personal-care products, the other a silent earnest-eyed bespectacled man who sat in blazer and turtleneck at the table's far corner, which latter Schmidt had decided was the second UAF: something a tiny bit too composed about the man's mien and blink-rate gave him up-on whose eyes the facilitator's never quite did alight all the way. Schmidt's lapse here was very subtle, and an observer would have to be both highly experienced and unusually attentive to extract any kind of meaning from it.

The exterior figure wore also a mountaineer's tool ap.r.o.n and a large nylon or microfiber backpack. Visually, he was both conspicuous and complex. On each slim ledge he again appeared to use the suction cups on his right hand and wrist to pull himself lithely up from a supine position to a standing position, cruciform, facing inward, hugging the gla.s.s with his arms' cups engaged in order to keep from falling backward as he raised his left leg and turned the shoe outward to align the instep's cups with the pane's reflective surface. The suction cups appeared to be the kind whose vacuum action could be activated and deactivated by slight rotary adjustments that probably took a great deal of practice to learn to perform as deftly as the figure made them look. The backpack and boots were the same color. Most of the pa.s.sersby who looked up and stopped and accreted into a small watching crowd found their attention most fully involved and compelled by the free climb's mechanics. The figure traversed each window by lifting his left leg and right arm and pulling himself smoothly up, then attaching his dangling right leg and left arm and activating their cups' suction and leaving them to hold his weight while he deactivated the left leg's and right arm's suction and moved them up and reactivated their cups. There were high degrees of both precision and economy in the way the figure orchestrated his different extremities' tasks. The day was very crisp and winds aloft were high; whatever clouds there were moved rapidly across the slim square of sky visible above the tall buildings that flanked the street. The autumn sky itself the sort of blue that seems to burn. People with hats tipped them back on their heads and people without hats shaded their eyes with their gloves as they craned to watch the figure's progress. The clabbering skies over the lake were not visible from the buildings' rifts or canyon's base. Also there was one large additional suction cup affixed to the back of the hood with a white Velcro strap. When the figure cleared another ledge and for a moment lay on his side facing out into the chasm below, those onlookers far enough back on the sidewalk to have some visual perspective could see another large orange suction cup, the hood's cup's twin, attached to his forehead by what was presumably also Velcro although this Velcro band must have run beneath the hood. And-there was general a.s.sent among the watching group-either reflective goggles or very odd and frightening eyes indeed.

Schmidt was simply giving the Focus Group a little extra background, he said, on the product's genesis and on some of the marketing challenges it had presented, but he said that in no way shape or form was he giving them anything like the whole story, that he wouldn't want to pretend he was giving them anything more than little pieces here and there. Time was tight in the pre-GRDS orientation phase. One of the men sneezed loudly. Schmidt explained that this was because Reesemeyer Shannon Belt Adv. wanted to make sure to give the Focus Group a generous interval to convene together in camera in camera and discuss their experiences and a.s.sessments of and discuss their experiences and a.s.sessments of Felonies! Felonies! as a group, to compare notes if you will, on their own, qua group, without any marketing researchers yammering at them or standing there observing as if they were psychological guinea pigs or something, which meant that Terry would soon be getting out of their hair and leaving them to perpend and converse in private amongst themselves, and that he wouldn't be coming back until whatever foreman they elected pushed the large red b.u.t.ton next to the room's lights' rheostat that in turn activated-the red b.u.t.ton did-an amber light in the office down the hall, where Terry Schmidt said he would be twiddling his metaphorical thumbs waiting to come collect the hopefully univocal Group Response Data Summary packet, which the elected foreman here would be receiving ex post hasto. Eleven of the room's men had now consumed at least one of the products on the table's central tray; five of them had had more than one. Schmidt, who was no longer playing idly with the Dry Erase marker because some of the men's eyes had begun to follow it in his hand and he sensed it was becoming a distraction, said he now also proposed to give them just a little of the standard spiel on why after all the solo time and effort they'd all already put in on their Individual Response Profiles he was going to ask them to start all over again and consider the GRDS packet's various questions and scales as a collective. He had a trick for disposing of the Dry Erase marker where he very casually placed it in the slotted tray at the bottom of the whiteboard and gave the pen's b.u.t.t a hard flick with his finger, sending it the length of the tray to stop just short of shooting out off the other end altogether, with its cap's tip almost precisely aligned with the tray's end, which he performed with TFGs about 70% of the time, and did perform now. The trick was even more impressively casual-looking if he performed it while he was speaking; it lent both what he was saying and the trick itself an air of nonchalance that heightened the impact. Robert Awad himself-this being the Team y Senior Research Director who would later hara.s.s and be so artfully defused by Darlene Lilley-had casually performed this little trick in one of his orientation presentations for new Field Team researchers 27 fiscal quarters past. This, Schmidt said, was because one of Reesemeyer Shannon Belt Advertising's central tenets, one of the things that set them apart from other agencies in their bailiwick and so was of course something in which they took great pride and made much of in their pitches to clients like Mister Squishy and North American Soft Confections Inc., was that IRPs like the 20-page questionnaires the men had so kindly filled out in their separate airless cubicles were of definite but only partial research utility, since corporations whose products had national or even regional distribution depended on appealing not just to individual consumers but also of course it almost went without saying to very large groups of them, groups that were yes comprised of individuals but were nevertheless groups, larger ent.i.ties or collectives. These groups as conceived and understood by market researchers were strange and protean ent.i.ties, Schmidt told the Focus Group, whose tastes-referring to groups, or small- as a group, to compare notes if you will, on their own, qua group, without any marketing researchers yammering at them or standing there observing as if they were psychological guinea pigs or something, which meant that Terry would soon be getting out of their hair and leaving them to perpend and converse in private amongst themselves, and that he wouldn't be coming back until whatever foreman they elected pushed the large red b.u.t.ton next to the room's lights' rheostat that in turn activated-the red b.u.t.ton did-an amber light in the office down the hall, where Terry Schmidt said he would be twiddling his metaphorical thumbs waiting to come collect the hopefully univocal Group Response Data Summary packet, which the elected foreman here would be receiving ex post hasto. Eleven of the room's men had now consumed at least one of the products on the table's central tray; five of them had had more than one. Schmidt, who was no longer playing idly with the Dry Erase marker because some of the men's eyes had begun to follow it in his hand and he sensed it was b