Sarah's heart sunk into her stomach. Now she really didn't know what to say. Anything she could come up with would just make matters worse. "Ned..."

"Just go." Ned's voice rang with coldness, and he ducked back into his sanctuary. "I'll see you around. Good luck with your new boyfriend."

He sneered the last word before he turned his back on her and started again to sort the mail. Sarah left the mail room and hurried to get back to her office before she started to cry. She felt terrible about what had just happened, and the fact she was now on the other side of the table did not escape her. Was this how Alex had felt when she had said almost the same thing to him?

Darren took one look when she entered the office and shut the door. "Does this mean we're not going to lunch?"

Sarah slumped into her chair and rubbed her temples. Darren's words finally registered and she looked up. "No. Why?"

Her a.s.sistant frowned and pulled up the other office chair. She had never seen him look so serious. He looked worried.

"Corporate Carl really let you have it, huh?" He sounded sympathetic. "We going to be out of jobs, honey? 'Cause I got a great lead over at Caldwell Publications. My cousin's girlfriend's sister's niece works in human resources over there."

Sarah stared at him blankly for a long moment before she realized he thought her glum mood was because of the planning meeting she'd had. "Relax, Darren, our jobs are safe. We might even be getting raises."

There was his excellent use of expression to convey emotion again. Both brows raised and his lips pursed, Darren sat back in his chair. "Then why did you come in here looking like your dog just died?"

"I just had a rather disturbing conversation with Ned."

"Nerdy Ned?"

Sarah nodded. She leaned back in her chair and eased muscles she had not noticed earlier were sore. The reasons for her aches and pains would have made her smile an hour ago, but now Ned's accusations cast a pall over the memory of Alex's lovemaking.

Darren snorted. "What did he want?"

"He wanted to know when we'd be going out again."

Darren began to laugh in his wonderfully unrestrained way. At least she usually thought it was wonderful. Now she winced as his laugher filled the small office and probably carried out to the hallway despite the closed door.

"Darren! It's not funny!"

"Honey, I told you going out with him would be a mistake!"

She felt the beginnings of a headache. The morning's euphoria was completely

destroyed. She felt just terrible about treating Ned so badly. "Keep your voice down, Darren! He's got feelings, too."

To her surprise, Darren quieted. "Sarah, are you feeling guilty?"

"Maybe a little. I did just ... blow him off."

"And telling him that you'd have more fun plucking your eyebrows with a pair of rusty tweezers than going out with him again--that would've been better?"

A smile twitched her lips. "I could've just told him up front that I thought he was very nice, but that I didn't think we'd ever be anything more than friends.

Now I just hurt his feelings."

"Shoot, Sarah, his feelings would have been hurt no matter what you told him.

Face it, honey, 'there's someone for everybody' is just a myth."

"That doesn't make it right!" Guilt still a.s.sailed her. "He said something like women like me don't date guys like him."

"Well?" Darren looked clearly perplexed. "They don't!"

"But that doesn't make it right!" Sarah rapped the desktop with her fist.

"Ah, I see." Darren shifted in his chair and propped his feet up on her desk.

"This has got to do with Bill the Bozo, huh?"

It was nice to have a friend who knew your history. It saved a lot of

explanation. She nodded, tearing off a used piece of paper from her notepad just so she'd have something to do with her hands while she talked.

"I made Ned feel the same way William made me feel." Repugnance filled her.

Darren clicked his tongue and shook his head. "William did it to you on

purpose. You didn't set out to hurt Ned's feelings. There's a big, big difference, honey."

"I doubt if Ned would think so."

Her a.s.sistant sniffed. "So what you going to do? Date Ned just to make him feel better? To do him a favor?"

She winced at the force he put into his words. Darren knew the whole sad story of what had happened with William and how he had told her he'd been tired of doing her a favor. Darren was trying to provoke her.

"I feel terrible." She groaned, crumpling the note paper into a sweaty ball in her fist.

"What's this got to do with Mr. Gorgeous?" Darren took the paper away from her and tossed it into the trash.

Sarah shrugged. "Nothing. Everything. I don't know. Nothing now, I guess."

"But before?"

"I told him when we met that men like him didn't date women like me." The confession made her feel stupid.

"What?" Darren yelled so loud Sarah was grateful she had shut her door. "d.a.m.n, girl, what's the matter with you?"

He looked so righteously angry that Sarah couldn't help smiling. "I'm a moron?"

"Yes, you are a moron. And I hope you get over that."

"I just don't want to get hurt again." Contemplating, Sarah bit the end of her thumb. "And the way things are going, I think I could."

"Could, shmould." Darren sounded so much like Rivka, Sarah had to smile. "You never get anywhere if you don't take risks."

"Do I pay you to give me advice?" Sarah still felt horrible about the scene with Ned, but Darren was right. William had hurt her on purpose. It didn't make what happened with Ned right, but it did make seem less wrong.

"You know what I got to say to that." Darren got up from his chair. "I thought we were going to lunch."

"Sure, let's go." She would carry the scene at the mailroom with her for a long time. Knowing she hadn't meant to cause Ned pain didn't make her feel any better about it, but at least it had made her think.

CHAPTER 6.

Shoppers crammed the mall from one end to the next. Sarah began to regret her decision to come at all. She hated being forced to press up against people she didn't know, and long lines at the cash register made her crazy. If she hadn't already scoured every specialty shop in downtown Harrisburg for the perfect gift to give her sister as congratulations on the gallery opening, she'd just turn right around and go home.

"Let's make a break for it!" Alex pointed to a spot in the crowd that had magically cleared.

For such a large man, he moved with the grace of a dancer. Grabbing Sarah's hand, he wove them in and around the other shoppers until he had pulled her into the slightly less crowded food court. Spotting an empty table ahead, he dove for it and nearly knocked over a teenage couple more intent on seeing how many body parts they could press together than on watching where they were going.

"Sorry," Alex told the young man, who merely shrugged. "C'mon, Sarah, let's sit down and have something to eat. I'm starved."

"My treat for putting you through all this."

"All what?" Alex looked around the crowded mall with mock surprise. "Being part of a stampede is my idea of a good time."

She laughed. She laughed a lot when she was with him. It was just the way he made her feel.

"Thanks for coming with me. I really want to find Rivka something special."

"Any reason to spend some time with you is good enough for me." Alex leaned over and brushed a kiss against her lips.

Sarah knew she was grinning like an idiot, but couldn't help it. The past two weeks with Alex had been like something out of a movie. When work or other commitments prevented them from meeting for dinner, he invariably called her before going to bed. They'd spoken every day for two weeks and had never run out of things to talk about.

"What can I get you?" She wanted to kiss him again, but was well aware of the crowd around them. It wouldn't do to get carried away, and she knew herself too well. She didn't have a whole lot of self-control where Alex was concerned.

He wiggled his brows lasciviously. "You know what I like, baby."

Sarah rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I know what you like. But what do you want me to buy you for lunch?"

"Cheeseburger, fries, soda. The heart-attack special."

"Hold down the fort. I see a couple of mall crawlers over there eyeing this seat."

"I'll guard it with my life." Alex spread out his hands as though to cover the entire table. "Hurry back. I'm so hungry I could eat a bowl of lard with a hair in it."

Sarah screwed up her face in disgust. "You have such a way with words, Alex."

"Thanks."

"Modest, too."

Alex grinned an aw-shucks smile. "You've got me pegged, Sarah."

She was pretty hungry herself. Shopping did that to her. She made her way through the throng, heading toward Mr. Burger. Though she tried to stay away from junk food, Alex's order had suddenly got her mouth watering. She gave the order to the paper-capped teen behind the counter, adding a chocolate milkshake instead of a cola for herself.

"In for a penny, in for a pound," she said wryly, mentally calculating the calorie load. "Or more like four or five pounds."

While she waited for the food, Sarah glanced back to where Alex sat. He was no longer alone. A tall, auburn-haired woman now sat across from him. As Sarah watched, the woman laughed, tossing back her head until her gorgeous hair flowed halfway down her back.

A tiny sense of unease crept into Sarah's stomach. She shook it off. She b.u.mped into people she knew all the time at the mall. Alex had obviously just met someone he knew.

And knew rather well. A sudden sick sensation flowed over her. The redhead leaned across the table to lay her hand across his. From Sarah's angle she couldn't see Alex's reaction, but the other woman's face was clear as spring water. The redhead was smiling and fluttering her eyes. She was flirting.

"Order's up," the gangly youth in the Mr. Burger uniform announced.

"Thanks." Sarah took the tray.

She didn't really want to walk back through the crowd. Not with the redhead still sitting in Sarah's seat. Sarah's mouth felt like sand, and the tray felt as heavy as stone. She forced a blank smile to her lips and made herself put one foot in front of the other until she had reached the table.

"Sarah!" Alex seemed glad to see her.

"Oh." The word came out in exaggerated innocence. "Am I sitting in your seat?"

"That's okay." It was a lie, but she set the tray down on the table and made room for it by pushing aside her own bag, though the redhead's purse was actually taking up more s.p.a.ce.

"I was just leaving anyway." The other woman's tone clearly implied her haste to exit was mostly because of Sarah's arrival. "I just saw Lex here and had to stop and say hi."

Sarah nodded silently, a look of what she hoped was neutral interest upon her face. The redhead got up, obviously reluctant to leave Alex's side though she'd already said she was going. Sarah decided not to wait for the other woman to move away from the chair and instead made room for herself at the other end of the table.