I've had people say they just eat my books up, but this is ridiculous.

He's amused. KATIE isn't. She walks over to her sister, ready to be mad . . . but she sees how really exhausted DAWN looks and softens.

INT. DAWN AND THE BABY, KATIE'S POV.

Fast asleep and breathing easily, like a Raphael painting of Madonna and Child. THE CAMERA PANS DOWN TO: the Walkman. We can hear the faint strains of Huey Lewis and the News. THE CAMERA PANS A BIT FURTHER TO a Princess telephone on the table by the chair. It's off the cradle. Not much; just enough to break the connection and scare people to death.

INT. KATIE.

She sighs, bends down, and replaces the phone. Then she pushes the STOP b.u.t.ton on the Walkman.

INT. DAWN, BILL, AND KATIE.

DAWN wakes up when the music stops. Looks at BILL and KATIE, puzzled.

DAWN (fuzzed out) Well . . . hi.

She realizes she's got the Walkman phones on and removes them.

BILL.

Hi, Dawn.

DAWN (still half asleep) Shoulda called, guys. Place is a mess.

She smiles. She's radiant when she smiles.

KATIE.

We tried. The operator told Bill the phone was off the hook. I thought something was wrong. How can you sleep with that music blasting?

DAWN.

It's restful.

(Sees the gnawed book BILL'S holding) Oh my G.o.d, Bill, I'm sorry! Justin's teething and - BILL.

There are critics who'd say he picked just the right thing to teethe on. I don't want to scare you, beautiful, but somebody's been at your front door lock with a screwdriver or something. Whoever it was forced it.

DAWN.

Gosh, no! That was Jerry, last week. I locked us out by mistake and he didn't have his key and the spare wasn't over the door like it's supposed to be. He was mad because he had to take a whiz real bad and so he took the screwdriver to it. It didn't work, either - that's one tough lock. (Pause) By the time I found my key he'd already gone in the bushes.

BILL.

If it wasn't forced, how come I could just open the door and walk in?

DAWN (guiltily) Well . . . sometimes I forget to lock it.

KATIE.

You didn't call me tonight, Dawn?

DAWN.

Gee, no! I didn't call anyone! I was too busy chasing Justin around! He kept wanting to eat the fabric softener! Then he got sleepy and I sat down here and thought I'd listen to some tunes while I waited for your movie to come on, Bill, and I fell asleep - At the mention of the movie BILL starts visibly and looks at the book. Then he glances at his watch.

BILL.

I promised to tape it for Jeff. Come on, Katie, we've got time to get back.

KATIE.

Just a second.

She picks up the phone and dials.

DAWN.

Gee, Bill, do you think Jeffie's old enough to watch something like that?

BILL.

It's network. They take out the blood-bags, DAWN (confused but amiable) Oh. That's good.

INT. KATIE, CU.

DENNIS (filter) h.e.l.lo?

KATIE.

Just thought you'd like to know your Aunt Dawn's fine.

DENNIS (filter) Oh! Cool. Thanks, Mom.

INT. THE PHONE NOOK, WITH DENNIS AND THE OTHERS.

He looks very relieved.

DENNIS.

Aunt Dawn's okay.

INT. THE CAR, WITH BILL AND KATIE.

They drive in silence for awhile.

KATIE.

You think I'm a hysterical idiot, don't you?

BILL (genuinely surprised) No! I was scared, too.

KATIE.

You sure you're not mad?

BILL.

I'm too relieved. (Laughs) She's sort of a scatterbrain, old Dawn, but I love her.

KATIE (leans over and kisses him) I love you. You're a sweet man.

BILL.

I'm the boogeyman!

KATIE.

I am not fooled, sweetheart.

EXT. THE CAR Pa.s.sES THE CAMERA and WE DISSOLVE TO: INT. JEFF, IN BED.

His room is dark. The covers are pulled up to his chin.

JEFF.

You promise to tape the rest?

CAMERA WIDENS OUT so we can see BILL, sitting on the bed.

BILL.

I promise.

JEFF.

I especially liked the part where the dead guy ripped off the punk rocker's head.

BILL.

Well . . . they used to take out all the blood-bags.

JEFF.

What, Dad?

BILL.

Nothing. I love you, Jeffie.

JEFF.

I love you, too. So does Rambo.

JEFF holds up a stuffed dragon of decidedly unmilitant aspect. BILL kisses the dragon, then JEFF.

BILL.

'Night.

JEFF.

'Night. (As BILL reaches his door) Glad Aunt Dawn was okay.

BILL.

Me too.

He goes out.

INT. TV, CU.

A guy who looks like he died in a car crash about two weeks prior to filming (and has since been subjected to a lot of hot weather) is staggering out of a crypt. THE CAMERA WIDENS to show BILL, releasing the VCR PAUSE b.u.t.ton.

KATIE (voice) Booga-booga.

BILL looks around companionably. THE CAMERA WIDENS OUT MORE to show KATIE, wearing a s.e.xy nightgown.

BILL.

Same to you. I missed the first forty seconds or so after the break. I had to kiss Rambo.

KATIE.

You sure you're not mad at me, Bill?

He goes to her and kisses her.

BILL.

Not even a smidge.

KATIE.

It's just that I could have sworn it was one of mine. You know what I mean? One of mine?

KATIE.