Annie took her phone out of her handbag. 'I want to see how the other one is doing. You know I think some of the Annie sales genes have been pa.s.sed on in Lana's direction too.'

'No doubt.'

Annie dialled Lana's mobile number and heard the faraway, transatlantic dial tone.

'Mum?' Lana answered.

'Baby! How's it going?' Annie said, so excited to hear her girl she forgot to speak quietly, causing Minnie to stir.

'Great!' came Lana's verdict. 'Dresses flying out! Flying out! We've had to take new fabric up to Brad and he's working all weekend to get us more in stock.'

'Fantastic! That is such good news.'

'Elena's on NBC breakfast news tomorrow it's just unbelievable. They love her Svetlana love-child background. They love it.'

'Did you get good fabric? Good colours?'

'Oh yeah, sea-green silk, just like the colour of your bag. Some b.u.t.termilk ... lots more cotton jersey too because it's so popular. People seem to love the idea of tossing on the dress and feeling comfortable.'

'Brilliant and you, are you OK?'

'I'm great.'

'Forgotten all about ... what's-his-face.'

'Totally.'

'Is there a new what's-his-face?'

'Mum! I'm far too busy. We just work and work and then dash out to Whole Foods for a box of dinner.'

With those words, Annie pictured the walk from the apartment, over Fifth Avenue, down 15th Street to buzzing Union Square, and she felt weirdly jealous.

'Any TV news?' Lana asked.

'Well ... it took a bit of persuading, but Tamsin has suddenly got enthusiastic about doing a celebrity fitness programme. I think she's going to try and speak to Gawain, suss him out a bit more ... but it's all very early stages. She doesn't have an interested buyer yet.' Annie was trying not to sound too downhearted as she said this: 'We'll see.'

'Poor old Mum,' Lana sympathized, before adding, 'Look, I'm going to have to go. I have a lunch date with Sye and Elena.'

'Ooooh is love in the air?'

'Like, definitely!'

'D'you think if Elena married him, she could wear a Perfect Dress wedding dress?'

'Ooh, great idea. I'll tell them over lunch!'

Annie hung up and turned to Ed. The twins were asleep, her phone was quiet, this was their first chance at a conversation so far today.

'How's Lana?' he asked.

'Fantastic,' Annie told him, 'I don't think she'll be too keen to come home, especially as we've not lined up anything else for her to do yet.'

'We'll work on that.'

'Yeah ... and how are you?'

'Not too bad. Not too bad at all,' Ed said, shooting her a smile, 'everyone's being very nice to me at school.'

'b.l.o.o.d.y right!' Annie said.

'I've had letters and cards from some of the parents.'

'That's very nice, but I should b.l.o.o.d.y well think so. You didn't deserve to go through one moment of all that.'

His face serious now, Ed added, 'It's been absolute h.e.l.l. But knowing that you believed in me totally, that was the one thing which kept me going. I hope you know that.' He reached over and squeezed her hand.

'Well ... internet p.o.r.n, it just doesn't seem like your kind of thing. It takes you half an hour to send an email, babes.'

'Back issues of Vogue are more my kind of thing.'

'Oh really ... ?'

'But how are you?' he wondered. 'You come all the way back from New York to find out your son's a p.o.r.n dealer, your husband's suspended and your agent still hasn't signed you up to a new series ... that's quite a lot to deal with.'

'I know. It's rubbish! I wish I was Lana,' Annie said, more loudly than she'd intended, which had the unfortunate effect of waking Micky, who promptly burst into tears.

'That's done it,' said Ed. Then Minnie began to cry too.

Still, Annie knew there were a few things she wanted to air, so she might as well get them said, even if it was over the cacophony of two screaming babies.

'Ed, I miss New York! I really, really miss New York. I feel the way you do after a bad break-up. I dream about it, I can't help thinking about it all day long. I just want to go back.'

Ed looked over at her, clearly surprised at this outburst, but Annie was in full flow.

'It was so glamorous there. So fashion, so career-focused, so go-ahead. I felt as if anything could happen. Any plan could come off if I just tried hard enough. It just felt very me, that's the only way I can describe it. Ed, a big part of me hates the fact that I'm back here, dealing with school problems and the TV standstill and the domestic grind.'

Finally Ed managed a quiet, 'Oh.'

Then he pointed ahead. 'Look, there's a car park. We'll stop for a minute and sort out M&M. But Annie, you'll be back to work soon and then you'll feel much better.'

'I don't know if I want to go back,' she confessed. 'Nothing Tamsin sorts out is going to be as good as How Not To Shop. I had my own show on Channel Four, Ed! I don't want to step down from that. I can't run the same programme on a much smaller channel. It just wouldn't be as good.'

'Maybe there will be a different programme altogether?'

'Maybe. But I don't have a good feeling about it. Tamsin's all excited about another new project she has lined up. I'm feeling over. Just like Connor warned.'

Ed parked the car, causing the cries of the twins to nudge up another level.

'Step out of the vehicle,' he said to her with a little bit of a smile.

He got out too, shutting his door and telling her to do the same. She immediately reached over to open the back door and scoop up the babies.

'Just a minute,' Ed urged and walked round to her side of the car. 'Please, just a tiny minute of silence.' Annie looked in on the babies: they were red-faced with crying, but she couldn't hear them through the window gla.s.s. It was tempting to enjoy just one moment of peace. 'We have the whole day to dote over them,' he told her. 'Can we just look after us for a second?'

He put his arms around her and held her close. 'This has all been very hard for you. Me and the school, Owen and the police! Your show getting cancelled. It's been a tough few days.'

'You should have phoned Harry straight away like I told you to.'

'Yes, I should have. I totally should have. But Annie, what about you?' Ed ran his hand over her hair soothingly. 'What do you want to do? What do you really want to do?'

'I want to move,' she heard herself blurting out. 'I used to move all the time. Now it's been years and years and I want new places, new chances. I want to be part of the whole thrilling thing again.'

'You want to move ...' Ed began hesitantly, 'to New York?'

She didn't answer, or dare to move. Did she really want to move to New York? Did she really want to leave London for Manhattan? Had Ed guessed at her heart's desire before she had really decided for herself?

Ed's voice had a new, slightly nervous tone to it as he asked, uncertainly, 'With all of us?'

Chapter Thirty-Four.

Fern in the garden: Pale green cardi (John Lewis)

White and green blouse (Hobbs)

White trousers (Lands' End)

Comfy green sandals (same)

Total est. cost: 180

' ... going out in a blaze of glory.'

As the car pulled up in front of the home Annie's mother had lived in for many years, Annie's mind was racing with plans.

Could they move? Could they really move? Would they rent out the house? Sell the house? What could Ed do in New York? Could he teach music there? Would it be easy to move if Annie was working with Svetlana's company? Would they all be able to get visas?

What about Owen? Would he want to leave school for a move like this? And Lana? All her friends would be left behind in London.

It would be easy enough for the babies to move but then what about Dinah? When Annie asked herself this question, she felt a big pang. Dinah couldn't move with them. Dinah had a husband, Bryan, and a daughter of her own, Billie, and they were all very happily settled in London.

With no beloved sister to look after the twins, she would have to find one of those New York nannies. The kind she'd seen in Central Park, wheeling the tiny 'Hudson Juniors' about in the most up-to-the-nanosecond strollers.

Maybe Owen could go to business school ... he'd probably get in early. Maybe Lana would want to work for Perfect Dress- 'Annie!'

Her mum was already at the front door, smiling delightedly, waving them all in.

'h.e.l.lo Mum!'

With Minnie in her arms, Annie walked up the path, marvelling at how luscious and beautiful the garden still looked for October. She hugged her mother h.e.l.lo.

'h.e.l.lo, h.e.l.lo, my girls,' Fern smiled at them, 'and how are my boys?' she asked, turning her attention to Ed and Micky.

Annie studied her mum closely. She looked just a little smaller and frailer today. Sometimes when Annie saw her, she thought her mum looked better and stronger. Sometimes, like today, she thought she looked just a little more vulnerable.

Just over a year ago now, Fern had been diagnosed with early-onset dementia and every time Annie saw her, she was frightened that the condition would be worse.

Fern didn't need care yet, but a student nurse rented a room in Fern's house as a temporary solution, so there was someone on hand who could let Fern's daughters know in between their visits if their mother wasn't looking after herself properly.

'How are you?' Annie said, giving her mum another hug and slipping a hand around her waist. Fern felt comfortingly solid. 'You're eating well then,' Annie said, relieved.

'Yes, too well. Stefano is a very good cook. Did you know that? Whenever he has an evening in, he makes us both a wonderful supper. He's not nearly as good as Ed, though,' she added quickly, reaching up to kiss both Ed and Micky.

'The garden looks beautiful,' Annie told her.

'I know, doesn't it just? I've been working away all summer long and now it's going out in a blaze of glory.'

Fern proudly gave a mini-tour of the bushes and plants she was most pleased with this season.

Annie tried to listen with interest but really, gardening was not her thing. Maybe in some dim and distant time in the future, when all her children had grown up, she might enjoy pottering round the flower beds planting things and taking as much delight in the new season's flowers and shrubs as she did in the new season's clothes and accessories. But right now, her garden was a simple patch of irregularly mown lawn, strewn with toddler toys and the odd unhappy plant in a tub which she struggled to keep alive.