Rose walked in the moonlight, back and forth in front of the gate.

"What's going on?" Reuben asked.

"It's her fussy time," Rose said. "I don't want to keep Trudy awake. Or Dat and Beth."

"So you come out here every night?"

She shrugged. "It's been so warm this last week."

"You must be tired," Reuben said, thinking again that she wasn't that far past her surgery. "Want me to take a turn?" He reached out his hands for the Bobbli.

Rose pa.s.sed the little one to him. "Denki," she said. "I appreciate it. Just for a moment. Then I'll take her back."

"It can get frustrating, jah?"

Rose nodded.

His sister Sarah's first Bobbli had been colicky. But she had her husband to share the responsibility. He knew Rose had a houseful of people to help her, but he doubted it was the same as having a husband.

He placed the Bobbli against his shoulder and began patting her back again. He hadn't held her since the day Trevor visited. Standing beside Rose, holding Abrie, the hollowness in him subsided some.

Rose stepped closer to him. "Denki," she said. "For everything."

Reuben nodded but couldn't seem to find his voice. Hopefully, in time, he would.

27.

On the second Thursday of July, the morning of her wedding, Lila leaned against her cane and stood at the top step of the back stairs. Her grandparents, Eve and Charlie, and the Becks, including Zane's grandfather, had all arrived an hour ago. Now the sun was rising over the field, the men were all doing the milking, and half the women were in the bas.e.m.e.nt finishing up the last of the meatb.a.l.l.s while the others were making breakfast in the upstairs kitchen.

Dat had put a sink, two stoves, and a refrigerator in the new kitchen, as well as a long work counter that offered much more room than the upstairs kitchen did.

He was so happy with what he and Zane and Reuben had done that he said he'd remodel the upstairs kitchen next.

After the milking was done, the men would set up the benches and tables in the area between the driveway and the gate. The temperature was supposed to be just below eighty degrees for the day. Perfect for an outdoor wedding.

Lila walked carefully down the steps. Beth had planted annuals for the wedding-pink petunias, white impatiens, and pink and white geraniums-in whiskey barrels scattered around the outside of the house and along the driveway and fence line. The vegetable garden was also flourishing under Beth's care. Dat had cut the hay earlier in the week. Thankfully the dust had settled and all that the morning breeze carried was the fresh scent of the bales, drying in the field.

After she reached the driveway, she headed toward the gate, remembering the first time she'd seen Zane on the other side. She eased up on the cane as she approached the gra.s.sy area, visualizing what it would soon look like.

White and lime-green tablecloths would cover the tables. Beth had made the cake. It was all white except for thin green trim. Eve and Charlie were bringing flowers for the cake table, the only decorations they'd use, and her grandmother was contributing paper napkins and cups. The dishes from the church wagon, which was parked along the fence, would be used for the meal.

She held her cane with both hands and began walking toward the gate, imagining where the benches would be.

Lila had wanted to keep the invitation list small, but Dat and Beth kept adding names. She told them she and Zane couldn't afford that much, but they said they'd cover the expense of the wedding.

She reached the gate and put the cane back down. She'd be able to walk into the service without it, but she wasn't sure that she should.

Last night she'd managed to walk upstairs in the little house without her cane. Zane had taken her over, and carried her crazy quilt while she cautiously climbed the stairs. Once she made it to their room, she'd folded up her Mamm's quilt and then spread the crazy quilt she'd finished the year before over the bed. It was more appropriate for all that they'd been through. And sc.r.a.ps of blues and greens and purples brought life to the room in a way the traditional pattern didn't. Her Mamm would be pleased, Lila was sure. Besides, she had better plans for the shadow quilt.

She didn't open the door to the Bobbli's room when they left their own room. Instead she'd stood in front of it, frozen.

"I didn't take out the furniture," Zane said. "I'm not willing to give up on that yet. I don't think you should either." Always the optimist-jah, that was the man she was marrying.

"I won't," she said. "I'll do my best to trust G.o.d with . . ." She'd turned toward him. "This room." They both smiled, just a little, as she took the stairs down one at a time, and Zane carried her mother's quilt.

He'd start volunteering again at the fire station in another month. They'd be back where they'd expected to be before the accident, at least mostly.

"Lila?"

She turned to find Casey coming toward her. She wore jeans and an Army T-shirt. She and Simon had spent the night at Shani and Joel's but had come over to help with the preparations. "Breakfast is ready."

"Thank you." The house was already full, and it was still hours until the wedding would start.

"I'll go tell the men," Casey said, heading toward the barn. Her stride was long and confident, her head high and her back straight. Lila started toward the house, but as she reached the back stairs, Simon came running up behind her.

"Hey, sis," he said. "Today's your big day."

"Jah," she answered, turning toward him. "You robbed us of sharing yours."

"Would you have come to Hawaii?" he teased.

"I've always wanted to go there," she answered. "But you would have needed to tell us ahead of time."

"That's true," he said. They both knew there wasn't any way any of them could have gone. It had been better not to know ahead of time.

He ducked, grabbed her, and lifted her off her feet and onto his shoulder.

She slapped his back with her free hand. "Put me down. You'll hurt me."

He laughed and said, "You're not as fragile as you think. Everyone's been too easy on you."

Lila hit him again, but she was glad he seemed so carefree. He'd been a sniper in Iraq, on the Syrian border, and she feared it would weigh heavy on him. But it didn't seem to. Strangely, the boy who had been raised Amish seemed not to have been affected by war, at least not badly. Time would tell.

He bounced up the stairs with her and through the mud porch into the kitchen, putting her down in the middle of the room.

Rose had the Bobbli in her arms and shot Simon a frown. "No horseplay," she said.

He flicked her on the arm and teased, "Aren't you the serious one now?"

"Or the responsible one," she said and then laughed, holding the Bobbli with one hand and flicking him back with the spit rag that had been draped over her shoulder.

As Simon headed to the bathroom to wash his hands, Lila sat down at the table, a little out of breath. She'd need to put her wedding dress on soon, while the men put the benches out. Or maybe they were doing that now. She stood and stepped to the window. Sure enough, Zane, Dat, and Joel were unloading the church wagon.

And Reuben.

Rose stepped to her side. "Why is he here so early?"

"I don't know," Lila said. But she was grateful.

"Rose, can you make the coffee?" Beth called out. "We need another pot."

"Sure," Rose said, glancing around, probably looking for Trudy. But then, through the window, she saw her little sister and Adam run by, headed for the chicken coop.

"I'll take her," Lila said, propping her cane against the wall.

"All right." Rose slid the Bobbli into her arms as Lila shifted her weight to her right leg.

Abrie cooed and reached up toward Lila's face. Lila lifted the Bobbli higher and rubbed her face against Abrie's cheek. Rose hadn't said another word about Trevor, and as far as she knew he hadn't called. She knew he hadn't visited.

She was surprised at the extent of Rose's anger when she found the pill bottles. In the past she was sure Rose would have justified his behavior in some way, but there wasn't even a hint of that. It seemed pretty foolish of Trevor to leave them there, but she could see how he might have overlooked them.

Zane was afraid he was getting pills from other places. Lila couldn't begin to guess how it would all turn out. Rose certainly seemed upset with him, enough not to ever trust him again, but Lila knew her sister could be irrational. At least she used to be. The truth was, Rose had changed.

Zane turned toward the house, and Lila stepped up to the window and waved, lifting the Bobbli up again.

He waved back and then pointed toward her. Reuben turned toward the house too and shielded his eyes. A minute later, as Zane and Tim put the last of the benches in place, Reuben started toward the house. By the time he washed his hands, Zane and Tim had come in too. Zane stood by her for a minute, sweet-talking Abrie, who blew a couple of bubbles. She was on the verge of smiling.

"Would you call Trudy and Adam in?" Lila asked Zane. "Breakfast is ready."

As Lila waited for him to return, the Bobbli began to fuss. Rose was placing an egg ca.s.serole on the table as part of the buffet. "I'll take her in just a second," she said.

Lila didn't dare walk with the Bobbli. She was afraid her legs might buckle.

Reuben stepped to her side. "Mind if I take a turn?"

Relieved, Lila pa.s.sed the Bobbli to him as Dat cleared his throat and then boomed, "Everyone gather around."

Zane stepped back into the house and to Lila's side. Across the room stood Shani and Joel, hand in hand, with Zane's grandfather next to them. Trudy and Adam stood in front, and Casey and Simon stood on the other side. Lila's grandparents stood in the archway to the living room, and Eve and Charlie, with Jackson, stood behind them. Rose stepped around the table, stopping beside Reuben, but she didn't take the Bobbli away from him. Everyone Lila loved most was in the room-except for Daniel, Jenny, and Brook. They should have arrived by now. She hoped Daniel wasn't angry with her for inviting Butch Jr. She'd tried to talk with him about it at church on Sunday, but he shook his head and walked away.

As everyone quieted down, Beth stepped to Dat's side. He cleared his throat again. "I'm very grateful for everyone in this room," he said. "For all of our family. For our neighbors." He nodded toward Joel and Shani. "For Zane." He smiled. "All those years ago I never would have guessed that c.o.c.ky neighbor kid would become Amish-and now my son-in-law." Everyone laughed. "I guess we all know that none of us can predict what G.o.d will do in our lives." He paused for a moment, and Lila wondered if he'd choked up, but then he said, "And for that I'm grateful." He bowed his head. "Let's pray."

A minute later, after Dat said, "Amen," Beth began directing everyone through the buffet line. "Lila and Zane, you two go through first. There are chairs in the living room to sit on or tables in the bas.e.m.e.nt. Everyone dish up quickly, because we still have a lot of work to do before our guests arrive."

Zane grabbed two plates and whispered to Lila, "Go find a place to sit in the living room. I'll be right there."

She complied, stopping at the window to look for Daniel and Jenny, but they were nowhere in sight.

By the time her brother and sister-in-law finally arrived, Lila was in her room putting on the new purple dress she had finished the week before. Jenny stepped in for a minute and said Brook had been up most of the night teething. "I told Daniel to come ahead without me," she said, "but he wanted to wait."

"Of course," Lila said, not wanting to ask Jenny how Daniel was doing. Or what he was thinking. He was here-that was what mattered.

Lila and Zane joined the congregation to praise G.o.d by singing "Das Loblied" at the beginning of the service, and then retreated back to the house for special instructions from Gideon. Zane looked so handsome in his straight-cut suit, holding his black hat in his hands.

The potato cooks laughed in the kitchen as they finished the peeling. They'd put the potatoes on to boil near the end of the service and then mash them for the dinner. The meatb.a.l.l.s warmed in the bas.e.m.e.nt ovens.

Zane and Lila sat down beside each other on the sofa in the living room and held hands. When Gideon came into the room, Lila pulled her hand away. Gideon asked how they were both feeling.

"Great!" Zane said, reaching for Lila's hand again.

"Gut," she answered, aware that she couldn't match Zane's excitement. That didn't matter. She was excited in her own way.

Gideon spoke to them about marriage, but Lila didn't listen very well. She'd ask Zane later what he said. Something about not letting the sun go down on their anger and being willing to show the other grace.

"Ready to go?" Gideon finally asked.

Zane and Lila both nodded, and after Lila stood, placing her cane on the linoleum, Zane reached for her other hand. They followed Gideon out the front door, down the steps, and around the house.

The singing of the congregation sounded as if a choir of angels had descended on the farm. In many ways, one had. Everyone gathered would support Zane and Lila, want the best for them, and pray for them.

Rose held Abrie and sat in the last row on the women's side with Butch Jr.'s mother beside her. Across the aisle, on the last row of the men's side, sat Butch Jr. with Reuben beside him. Lila's heart filled with grat.i.tude for Rose and Reuben's hospitality. When they pa.s.sed Daniel, sitting beside Simon and Dat, she couldn't help but wonder if he'd met Butch. There was no way Daniel could miss recognizing their half brother if he saw him.

Zane took his place and Lila hers on benches facing each other at the front and settled in for the Scripture reading. It was 1 Corinthians 13, in English, in a translation she wasn't familiar with. Zane must have specifically asked Gideon to read it.

Zane had truly been patient with her. And kind. And gentle. She hoped she could love him in the same way, despite her brokenness. But perhaps Simon was right. Perhaps she wasn't as fragile as she'd let herself believe these last many months.

Gideon began the sermon. Lila was sure it would be long-and it was. It nearly lulled her to sleep as the morning grew warmer. Finally, Gideon said, "That's why we serve each other. Because Christ served us. And there's no relationship in life where we have the opportunity to serve another person as much as we do in marriage. No other relationship lasts, in a daily manner, as a marriage does. You care for a child for a short time. And you will care for your parents in their old age. But, G.o.d willing, Zane and Lila, you will care for each other for fifty or sixty years or more. Love each other. Cherish each other. Be honest with each other. Seek out each other's souls. Seek out each other's hearts. Build your relationship between who the two of you are on the inside. Love each other as you love yourselves. That's what counts."

Gideon smiled kindly. "Zane Beck. Lila Lehman." His eyes brightened even more. "I've known you both since you were children. I'm as pleased as I've ever been to marry a couple. Please come forward."

Lila left her cane propped against her bench, stood, and made her way to the front, stopping beside Zane. Gideon led them in their vows and then joined their hands together, p.r.o.nouncing them man and wife.

Zane looked into Lila's eyes and squeezed her hand. She leaned against him. He kissed the top of her Kapp, in a show of affection uncommon for Amish men and definitely uncommon in Plain weddings. She didn't care. There were some things he'd never understand. And it didn't matter.

By the time they made their way up the aisle to the last bench, Monika was directing the men to set up the tables. An army of helpers soon transformed the s.p.a.ce into a dining area.

As she and Zane mingled through the crowd, Lila greeted Connie and Butch Jr. and thanked them for coming. "Have you met Daniel?" she asked.

Butch shook his head.

Lila looked around for her brother. He stood beside Jenny next to the fence with a fussy Brook. She waved at him and motioned him over. She could tell, as he walked toward her, he wasn't happy about it. She hoped Butch couldn't guess at how Daniel was feeling.

When Daniel reached them, she introduced Butch Jr. "h.e.l.lo," Daniel said. "I'm pleased to meet you." Then he nudged Butch's shoulder. "I figured it was you."

Butch nodded. "Yeah, I figured the same about you."

Daniel motioned to Jenny, and she joined them. Connie reached for the Bobbli. "May I hold her?"

"Jah, please," Jenny said. The circles under her eyes had grown even darker.

"Your family certainly is blessed with children," Connie said.