"Are you still certain you want to live the Plain lifestyle? Has any of this changed your mind? Many people who think they want to live Plain decide they don't after a year or so-or after something challenges their core beliefs, maybe ones that are in conflict with the way we believe."

"Jah," Zane answered. "My wish is to remain Plain. Yes, I've been confronted with things that bother me more than your average Amish man." He smiled. "But it isn't all just that I was raised Englisch. Part of it is my personality." Zane shrugged. "I'm learning."

Gideon nodded. "That's all I can ask."

Zane tried to smile, but he knew it came across as more of a grimace. "How's Reuben doing?"

"He's hanging in there," Gideon said.

Zane wasn't sure why he asked. Maybe just to change the subject. He didn't expect Gideon to share anything personal about his son. Zane sighed. He felt for the guy, living alone. The idea of living without Lila for a while longer was difficult to accept-but his greater fear was that once Rose had her baby Lila would come up with another excuse not to marry.

25.

Rose held on to the door handle as Eve turned her car down Juneberry Lane. The lilacs along the fence line were blooming, along with the wild irises that grew on the gra.s.sy shoulder. They were coming home from the clinic, where she'd gotten a steroid shot to help the baby's lungs develop. The doctor was certain Rose would deliver early. If the baby's lungs were more mature, it could make all the difference. "I appreciate you taking me," Rose said.

"Of course." Eve glanced toward Rose as she turned down the driveway. "Is it all a bit overwhelming?"

Rose nodded. "I'm just trying to take in everything." The doctor had said she'd have to have a C-section, for sure-the placenta hadn't budged. Thankfully the baby's size, at thirty-three weeks, was good now.

"I think we should talk with your Dat about you coming to stay with us." Eve had been home with Jackson for over a month now. "I can get you to the hospital sooner when you go into labor."

"I'll be all right," Rose said. It felt good to be home, sleeping in the same room as Trudy and Lila, and hanging out with Beth.

"It could mean calling for an ambulance," Eve answered.

Rose didn't want that. She didn't want any of it. Not a C-section. Not a hospital stay. Not her fate of being a single parent.

But she did want the Bobbli. She had a relationship with the being living inside her, kicking her ribs, throwing an elbow against her taut belly, and even hiccupping now and then. Rose couldn't marvel about it to Eve-who never carried a Bobbli to this point. Or Lila.

She had said something a few times to Beth, who shared her excitement. A couple of times Beth felt her belly and exclaimed at the movement. Rose could never tell her stepmother how much that meant to her.

It wasn't that she longed to share the experience with Trevor. After all, he hadn't tried to contact her in any way, not even after she let him know about the complications. But she longed to share it with someone. And she guessed the longing would only get worse. Sure, Beth and Dat would be kind. They'd be interested in their grandchild. They'd mark special milestones like the first tooth and all those things that Rose remembered Eve celebrating with Trudy when she cared for all of them. But it wouldn't be the same-and that wasn't anyone's fault but her own.

"Rose?" Eve had pulled to a stop by the house. "Are you sure you won't come stay with us until the baby comes?"

She shook her head. "No. I'll be all right. I'll call you as soon as I start having contractions." She wasn't sure what a contraction actually felt like, but she guessed she'd know when she had one. Jenny certainly knew the day of Dat and Beth's wedding. "The due date is still seven weeks away. I'm sure I still have lots of time, right?"

"Let's hope," Eve said. "But if you change your mind, let me know." She turned the engine off. "I'll go in with you and tell everyone h.e.l.lo."

It was midafternoon, and Beth was in the kitchen, starting a chicken to roast. The hum of the sewing machine from the living room stopped-Lila was making a quilt of navy blue and maroon stars, for Casey and Simon. Simon would be coming home from Iraq soon. Lila wasn't entirely back to her old self, but the sewing she was doing for the family and her quilting were at least keeping her busy.

Eve told Beth h.e.l.lo and then headed toward the living room. The thump of Lila's cane indicated she was on her feet, probably giving Eve a hug.

"How is everything?" Beth wiped her hands on her ap.r.o.n and turned toward Rose.

"All right," she said and then bit her lip. She didn't want to say too much, not until they were alone.

"Can you stay for a cup of coffee, Eve?" Beth called. "I made some cookies for Trudy's after-school snack. We can have those too."

"Where is Trudy?" Rose asked as she sat down at the table. She needed to get back down on the sofa, but she'd wait a few minutes.

"Over at Shani's. She and Adam are helping Shani in their garden."

"They should work in ours." Lila followed Eve back into the kitchen.

"I'll get to it tomorrow," Beth said.

"That's not what I meant." Lila sat down at the end of the table. "You're doing everything around here."

"I'm doing fine." Beth picked up the plate of cookies from the counter and put them on the table. "I'm enjoying every bit of it."

A warm feeling startled Rose, causing her to leap to her feet.

"Sweetie," Eve said.

"Oh, no." Rose couldn't help but laugh. What was happening to her? "I think I wet myself."

"Are you sure?" Eve asked.

Rose pointed to the floor, at the puddle of water. And her underwear and skirt were soaked.

"It's probably your water," Eve said.

She gasped. "My what?" And then gasped again, clutching her belly. A pain tore through her middle.

"The amniotic fluid," Eve explained. "Are you having a contraction?"

It took a moment before she could talk. "Maybe." She'd read about the amniotic fluid. That wasn't good, she was sure. Neither was the pain.

Eve kneeled and put her finger in the liquid and smelled it. "It's not urine." She looked up at Rose. "We need to get you to the hospital."

Lila let out a yelp. "It's too early."

By the look on Eve's face, she thought it was too. "They might be able to keep the baby from coming this soon."

"I'll go pack a bag," Beth said.

"I'll help." Lila followed their stepmother. "And get a clean dress."

Eve directed Rose to sit back down. "We'll get you changed and ready to go." Eve called the doctor on her cell phone to let her know what was happening.

Fifteen minutes and two contractions later, Rose was ready. Lila gave her a hug, tears in her eyes. "Come with me," Rose said.

"What help can I be?"

"I need you." Rose choked back her tears. She needed Lila, more than anyone.

Without hesitating, Lila said, "All right."

Beth headed toward the back door. "I'll go tell your Dat. Once we finish the milking, we'll go get Trudy and ask Shani if she can give us a ride."

"Would you see if Zane's home yet?" Lila asked. "Tell him what's going on. Ask him to come up too." She turned toward Rose. "Is that all right?"

"Of course," Rose said. "Now let's go."

By the time they reached the hospital, the contractions were three minutes apart. After a quick trip through the Emergency Department, Rose was in a gown and on a gurney on her way up to the labor and delivery ward. Eve stayed at her side, but Lila couldn't keep up and said she'd meet her there.

The nurses had collected some of the amniotic fluid when she first arrived and sent it to the lab to see how developed the baby's lungs were-that would help them know what to do if the contractions couldn't be stopped.

Another contraction overtook Rose, the most painful one yet. "We're almost there," the young man pushing the gurney said as Rose tried not to scream. She blew out her breath like she'd read to do in one of her books.

When they reached the floor, a nurse met them and directed the gurney into a room. She took Rose's vitals, asked a few questions, and hooked her up to a monitor. "The doctor will be right in," she said.

"It won't be your doctor," Eve explained. "She's still at her office."

Rose blinked. She hadn't thought of that.

The doctor was middle-aged and seemed kind enough. He read from the computer, "Primigravida."

"That means a woman having her first baby," Eve explained.

"Oh," Rose said.

"Placenta previa," the doctor read. "And thirty-three weeks." He looked at her again and stepped away from the computer. "I'll be right back."

Lila came in just after the doctor left. She was a little out of breath and sat down in the chair beside Rose's bed. She reached for her hand just as the nurse came in.

"I need that hand," she said, a hint of teasing in her voice. "I'm going to poke you."

Rose appreciated the lighthearted tone. It helped her not to worry as much. The doctor came back in with an ultrasound machine. Rose knew the drill and wiggled her gown up over her belly. Lila stepped toward the door.

"You should stay," Rose said, sensing her sister's discomfort. "In fact, come closer, you'll be able to see the baby." For a moment Rose was afraid she'd said the wrong thing to Lila. Her sister hesitated at the door, but then she glanced toward their Aenti. Rose couldn't see the expression on Eve's face, but Lila started back toward the bed, a look of longing on her face.

The doctor moved the wand around on Rose's belly as another contraction overtook her. The worst yet. Lila stepped to her side and offered her hand. "Squeeze it," she said.

Rose did. The doctor waited until she was done and then ran the wand over her tight belly again. The image of the Bobbli appeared on the screen.

Lila leaned closer as a little gasp escaped her mouth.

"It doesn't look good," the doctor said. "The fluid is way down." He looked Rose in the eyes. "We're going to have to go ahead and do the C-section."

Rose nodded, trying to be brave. "Can my sister come with me?" Rose wasn't going to ask if Lila wanted to or not. She needed her to. All her life, Lila had been there for her-even when Rose hadn't appreciated it.

"Yes," the doctor said. "Sit tight. We'll have you in the OR in a few minutes."

As soon as the doctor left, Lila said, "Eve should go with you. She's smarter about these things than I am."

Eve shook her head. "You go, Lila. I'm going to go call Charlie and Shani. Your Dat needs to get up here. I'll leave a message for Gideon too. And I'll call your grandparents."

"Denki," Rose said, extending her free hand to her aunt.

"And we'll all be praying. For you and the baby."

They had Rose on her way to the OR in just a few minutes. As the doctor helped push the gurney, he explained that she would be given a spinal block and that Lila would stand up by her head.

"Are you all right with that?" Rose asked, realizing she hadn't considered what it might be like for Lila.

"Of course," her sister responded. Rose could tell it was a struggle for Lila to keep up with the gurney, but she was doing well.

The doctor was speaking to Lila now. "You'll need to scrub in. We'll show you. And then wear a gown."

"May I keep my cane with me?" she asked.

"Yes," he said.

By the time Lila joined her in the OR, Rose had gone through another contraction and the anesthesiologist had given her something in the IV and then the spinal block. Everyone spoke in quiet, calm voices. Rose thought of the calves she'd seen delivered through the years. None of them had been by C-section. She'd seen a few first-time mothers that were frantic through the delivery, but their instincts usually kicked in and they knew what to do with their offspring.

She hoped she'd know what to do after the Bobbli was born. She hoped it would come naturally. She hoped she'd love the Bobbli as a mother should.

A few minutes later the doctor began to get to work. She felt a sensation on her belly-but not any pain.

"We'll have your baby here in a few minutes," the doctor said.

Rose reached for Lila's hand and searched for her sister's eyes. Lila stepped above her, squeezed her hand, and held her gaze. "You're doing great," Lila said. "I'm so proud of you."

Rose kept her eyes on Lila's, not wanting to think of what the doctor was doing. Jenny had a C-section and she did fine. Rose said a silent prayer, asking for safety for the Bobbli, asking for strength for herself, asking for peace. She thought of Trevor for a moment and again wondered if she should call him. Perhaps Eve would do it for her.

"Rose," the doctor said, "I'm reaching for the baby now."

It seemed like an eternity before the doctor said, "It's a girl. We need to get her pinked up."

Lila's eyes left Rose's.

"What are they doing?" Rose asked.

"They're listening to her lungs." Lila craned her neck. "Now they're wrapping her in warm blankets," Lila answered. "She's beautiful. Of course, she's tiny, but she has lots of dark hair."

A soft mewing reached Rose's ears. "Is that her?"

Lila nodded. "It's good she is making noises. They're bringing her this way."