"Well, it's good you plan to tell him. He deserves to know what's going on, to hear it from you."

Rose didn't reply.

"What if Trevor doesn't step up, but Reuben wants to court you again, regardless of what's happened?"

Rose shook her head. "I don't want that."

"What will you do? Never marry?"

Rose shrugged. "I don't know what I'll do. I just don't believe Reuben would ever truly accept my child."

"But look at your Dat. He-"

Rose shook her head again. "He didn't. He never treated Lila and Daniel the way he did the rest of us."

"Rose . . ."

"You know it's true."

"But he got over it eventually, right?"

"No, not really. If I were in an accident like Lila was, do you think he would have sent me off to live in a house over by the neighbors? No. He would have built a ramp to our house. He would have put a bed in the living room, if needed."

"It was easier to have Lila stay over there. That's all. And besides, it will be her home soon."

Rose wrinkled her nose. "She was hurt that Dat didn't care more. She would never admit it, true, but it still hurt her. She was talking about her real father not too long ago-"

"Biological father. Tim is her real father."

"Oh," Rose said.

"Families get formed in all sorts of ways," Eve said. "Charlie and I both feel absolutely committed to Jackson."

"Jah," Rose said. "It appears that way. But you'll never have other children to compare how you feel, you'll never know if you'd favor a biological child."

"We wouldn't," Eve said.

"But my point is, Dat did. You can't deny it. And Reuben is a whole lot more like Dat than like you and Charlie."

Eve started to say something but then stopped. Finally she said, "But you're going to need a husband. And your baby is going to need a father."

"Jah," Rose said. "And I am hoping Trevor will step up." She held out her hand, changing her mind about calling Trevor. "I guess I better give him a call. He's not going to have a chance to do the right thing until he knows what's going on."

She dialed and then stepped into the kitchen to leave a message. She simply said the test had been positive. "Call me back on Eve's phone as soon as possible. If I'm already gone, let her know when I can call you back. We need to figure out what to do."

She finished the call and returned to the living room, handing Eve the phone. Then she rested her head on her Aenti's shoulder. Eve patted her shoulder. "Remember, this baby is the consequence of your sin not the punishment. This baby will be a blessing."

Rose nodded. She didn't feel that in her soul, but she knew it was true. In time she hoped she'd feel it, for the Bobbli's sake.

"You can come live with us," Eve said. "You could be Jackson's caregiver. That will give you a break from home and give your Dat and Beth more time together."

"Lila still needs a lot of care."

"Beth will be finished working soon." Eve's voice was so soft and gentle that for a moment Rose almost believed everything would work out.

"I'll talk to Dat about all of this and let you know," Rose finally said. But first she'd practice on Reuben. She might be Dat's biological child and have his unconditional love, but she was still afraid of him. Even if he had Beth by his side. He'd survived Daniel running around. Simon joining the Army. Lila jilting Reuben.

But she couldn't imagine how he'd survive her being pregnant.

18.

Reuben was surprised when Rose drove her buggy through the parking lot and up to the hitching post. He stood at the counter watching her, wondering if he should go out and greet her or wait for her to come inside. He'd only seen her at church since Tim and Beth's wedding. She'd claimed caring for Lila was taking all of her extra time, but he wasn't sure he believed her. He feared something else was going on.

He'd heard through his father that Trevor had left Lancaster County and gone back to Delaware. At least Reuben didn't have to worry about his influence on Rose anymore.

She tied the horse and turned toward the building, her face red from the cold. His heart raced at the sight of her walking toward him, and he stepped through the door of the warehouse, toward her. "Rose," he called out.

She waved, slightly, and started toward him. The wind whipped at her skirt, and he held the door wide, motioning her inside.

Once she was in the building, she undid her black bonnet and swung it from her head.

"Would you like a cup of coffee?" Reuben asked. "I just brewed a pot."

She shook her head and then asked, "Is anyone else here?"

"No, it's a slow day." Business had been down, and Tim hadn't been coming in for the last couple of weeks.

Rose glanced around, as if making sure.

"What's the matter?" Reuben asked.

"I have a confession to make," she said. "I need to speak with my father and your father too, but first I wanted to tell you. I didn't want you to hear it from anyone else."

His hands and feet grew cold and his face warm, all at the same time. He didn't want to hear a confession, not from Rose.

By the devastated look on her face and then the motion of her hand across her cape, he was certain she was pregnant. Tears filled her eyes.

"Whose is it?" he asked. For a moment he thought maybe he was wrong and was ashamed that he could be so cruel. But when she bowed her head, he knew he'd guessed correctly.

"Is it Trevor's?"

She nodded.

He braced himself against the counter. "Why?"

"It's the stupidest thing I've ever done. It just . . . happened."

He doubted that was true. It had been impossible to miss the way she and Trevor had looked at each other-both at the barn raising and that night in the little house. Those were just the times he'd witnessed what pa.s.sed between the two of them. It hadn't just happened.

But maybe Trevor had forced her. "Have you spoken with anyone else about this?"

"Eve."

"Did she ask you about . . . what happened?" It wouldn't be proper for him to bring it up.

"Jah," Rose said, her face growing even redder. "It wasn't like that. Honest."

For a minute Reuben felt it would be easier on him if she had been forced, but then he felt ashamed for thinking that way. That meant Rose would have been abused. He didn't want that.

He had loved her. He had trusted her. He had wanted to marry her. His throat burned as he spoke. "Does Trevor know about the baby?"

"I told him I suspected. . . . And then I left him a message, but I haven't heard back."

"Did you keep seeing him up until the time he left?" Reuben asked.

"No, not at all . . . after . . . after what happened. But I did see him the day before he left."

"To tell him?"

She nodded.

"What do you plan to do now?"

She shrugged. "Tell my Dat. And your Dat. Confess before the congregation."

"And then?"

She looked away from him and whispered, "I don't know."

"What about Trevor?"

She shrugged again.

"Would you follow him to Delaware? To his home?"

She met his gaze. "I have no idea what I'll do. I won't know until I have a chance to talk with him."

He nodded then. That was all he could ask of her.

"I really am sorry," she said.

He nodded. Of course she was. Her sin had found her out.

"Please forgive me," she said.

He nodded. He had no choice but to forgive her, although that didn't mean he wouldn't feel the pain of what she'd done. For a long time. Maybe forever. But she didn't owe him a debt, and he wouldn't hold it over her.

"Do you need anything from me?" Reuben finally asked. "I could go with you to tell your Dat-and my Dat too."

Rose shook her head. "That's too much."

He didn't want her to have to go alone. "I'll go if it would help."

"It would . . ." Her voice trailed off as if she wasn't sure of what she'd just said.

"I can come over right after supper. Then we can go from your place to my Dat's."

"Denki," Rose said. "I appreciate it."

After she left, Reuben flipped the sign to Closed and shuffled over to his house, feeling like an old man. He'd been burned twice by the Lehman girls, but this hurt far worse than the first time. He needed something to numb the pain, so he veered off to the side yard, picked up his axe, and began splitting wood. He did that for the next hour. In that time, not one customer stopped by. After he'd finished, sweaty and tired, he took the wood into the house, load by load, filling the box by the stove. Then he went to the warehouse and finished up the accounts for the day.

Next, he washed up, made himself a sandwich for his supper, and ate it standing at the counter. Perhaps his old house would never have the touch of a wife or the laughter of children in it again.

A half hour later, the smell of coffee greeted Reuben as Tim welcomed him into the warmth of the kitchen. A peach cream pie, the sauce still bubbling, sat in the middle of the table, and Rose and Beth were wiping the last of the supper dishes.

Rose gave him a little wave, followed by a pained look. Then she bent down to put a frying pan in the drawer under the stove. Reuben turned away, not wanting to hurt himself more by watching her.

"What brings you here?" Tim slapped Reuben on the back. Beth smiled at him as she hung her towel.

Tim and Beth both seemed so happy. He hated to think of the disappointment they would soon feel.

Before Reuben could answer, Beth asked, "How about a cup of decaf? And some pie. Rose made it."

"Denki," Reuben answered. "I'll take you up on both the decaf and the pie."

In no time they were settled around the table. Reuben could make out Trudy's voice in the living room and every once in a while Lila's soft murmur.

"So what does bring you out tonight?" Tim grinned, first at Reuben and then at Rose. "Are we to have another wedding in the family soon?"

"Ach, Dat," Rose said. "It's not that. I'm afraid I have news that won't make you very happy."

"Oh . . ." Tim's face fell.

Rose tried to speak again, but no words came out. Reuben wrapped his hands around his mug of coffee.

Gently, Beth asked, "Does this have to do with the two of you?"

"It has to do with me," Rose answered. "Reuben is just here to support me."

Tim's eyes narrowed. "What's going on?"